Hi, hello! You should probably read the below note:
It's basically been two years since I've updated, and I'm sorry to come to y'all now with an unfinished draft of chapter 10 that I've been sitting on for over a year and a half now. And the reason for that is, I lost a lot of my motivation to write this story. It wasn't very well planned out, and going back a lot of the chapters are just unnecessarily edgy and ostentatious. Point is, I had some plot points I wanted to explore with this story but I'm not nearly satisfied with my writing and how I could possibly achieve it with the building I've done and the severe lack of planning.
TLDR; I will probably never be updating this again. But I might rewrite it in the near or far future, and maybe actually develop Jun more as an actual character. Basically abandoned, at this point. If anyone wants to ask me what I had planned and see those sheets, you're welcome to send me a mesage!
Ironically, Jun finds him the moment Yasuhiro departs from her side.
Shisui is strolling down the streets, hands in pockets as he casually scans the store signs he passes. It's so familiar and normal and so... Shisui that Jun is thrown off by it all.
He stops in his tracks, as if noticing eyes on him. Their eyes lock, and Jun hesitantly waves. Shisui hesitates only for a moment, and it is only the fact that she has spent the last year training and figuring out his ticks that lets her notice. As Shisui grins and heads towards her, a piece of metal glinting on his forehead and the puffiness of his eyes becomes apparent, Jun understands.
"Hey, look who it is," Jun smiles widely, giving a short salute. "Where've you been?"
"Training," Shisui sighs, "The clan won't shut up about improving ever since I got my..."
Sharingan. The word goes unsaid, but the momentous silence speaks magnitudes upon magnitudes of messages.
Jun's mouth feels dry. She knows what that means. Flashes of pain and fear rush over her, as black dots spot her vision. Jun forces herself back into reality by digging little red crescent moons into her palms. "Shisui I'm. Well, sorry we weren't-"
"Don't worry about it." Shisui only smiles lopsidedly, and even then it looks forced. "It would've happened eventually."
There's a pregnant pause so awkward, Jun coughs to diffuse the tension.
"Congrats on the promotion though."
"Thank you," Shisui shuffles awkwardly. "Walk with me to the third training ground? There's something I need to do."
"Of course."
Jun supposes this would have gone smoother if Yasuhiro were here. He was the kinder one, the understanding one. He probably even knew her misgivings better than she herself did.
(He gives her courage. Or, at the very least, the smallest nerve to try again. And shuffling down the crowded streets with Shisui, Jun feels she needs all the courage she can get.)
She knows she has no right to accuse Shisui of leaving them. After all, she would have found out far earlier if she had paid just a little more attention. Just cared a little more about Shisui.
But he's an Uchiha. A dark haired boy with dark eyes that shine with potential. And oh gods, the very name makes her blood boil. Fucking prodigies. Fucking dojutsus.
They are one and they same, and that's why she can not bear to look at him.
(She hates him because she can't face her own shortcomings.)
Jun supposes they've never really been truthful with one another. Not even with Yasuhiro mediating for the past year. She looks carefully up at the shaggy haired boy out of the corner of her eye. Curly, uncontrollable hair that frames the shiny metal headband resting atop his forehead, the smallest bit of freckles dotting underneath his coal colored eyes. They could pass for siblings, with their curly hair and sharp black eyes. It's like Jun's seeing Shisui for the first time, a whole person in the flesh instead of the tragic end he becomes.
(A tragedy, that's what Shisui is. Or, is going to be. Bright, young, and selfless. Giving up his life for his family, his village.)
(Jun thinks it's beyond depressing.)
They end up in front of the memorial stone, its green sheen unfairly bright in the afternoon sun. Shisui's eyes momentarily bleed red, each and every name burning into his memory.
(The amount of names missing is astounding. Shiro, Aki, Agent 339, Agent 403, Masu, Agent 290, Kaia Kaia KAIA-)
"Who was it?" Jun hears herself ask softly. Except, that can't be her. Not the fragile, crackly voice of a six year old.
(Jun used to be another. Or, she simply used to be. Jun doesn't remember who exactly anymore, but the dead girl and her are one and the same.)
(Same selfishness, same flaws. But every time she looks down at her frail hands she sees blood and feels like broken china pieces delicately taped back together. It makes everything seem surreal.)
"... My teammate," Shisui whispers brokenly. "His name was Goro." Jun wraps an arm around Shisui, pulling the older boy in for a hug.
"You did your best. I'm sure he would be proud."
"No I didn't, that's the thing," Shisui bites out scathingly, anger furrowed into his brow. "I wasn't brave enough. Wasn't skilled enough. Wasn't fast enough. God Jun, I worked so hard to master the body flicker technique and yet I- I failed him Jun. He died choking on his own blood and my other teammate hasn't even woken up yet. I'm a failure, Jun." Shisui's bottom lip is wobbling as he nears tears in his frustration. Jun decides its time to take drastic measures. Grabbing him by the shoulders, Jun practically slams her forehead against his.
"Shisui, that is by far the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth," Jun says. "It is not your fault. That's not how the world works. It isn't fair, but you are not to blame."
Shisui opens his mouth to retaliate, but a new voice interrupts. "... Is now a bad time?"
Shisui jolts, turning to face the newcomer with a smile plastered onto his face. Jun notes sadly that he's becoming more and more practiced at it.
"Heya Itachi," he smiles. "Sorry about that, just… catching up with a friend. Didn't realize you were here already."
Ah.
Jun's body twitches imperceptibly. No, she absolutely refuses to turn around. This can't be happening.
Yet common courtesy (and Shisui's painful grip) wins over in the end. Jun waves awkwardly, eyeing the Uchiha heir only a couple centimeters shorter than her.
"I'm Jun Hiromi. It's nice to meet you, Itachi-san."
"You as well," Itachi nods politely. "Do you attend the Academy? You look familiar."
Shisui pats Jun's back proudly. "She's in the final year actually!" he declares, ignoring Jun's mumbled 'you sound like an uncle' comment. "Itachi, remind me to introduce you to Yasuhiro as well. You'll like him. They're both great training partners."
Itachi looks intrigued, and Jun internally curses Shisui's deflection techniques. This talk was far from over, but he needed space first and foremost.
Jun can do that. It's one of the few things she can do.
"Well, I promised to meet up with Yasuhiro soon, so I'll leave you two be," Jun tucks her hands into her pockets. "Shisui, come visit more often. And I'll see you at the Academy Itachi."
"Bye Jun."
"Farewell."
And with one final wave, Jun disappears in a whirl of leaves, letting her chakra propel her through the crisp autumn air.
On a rooftop not too far away, she stops to gather her nerves, taking deep breaths that bring the sharp tangy scent of the market square to her senses. Knees trembling from a deep knot of unsettlement deep in her stomach, Jun turns to run towards the most secluded training ground she knows of.
Train, train, train. That's all she can do to keep her mind off the endless turmoil in her mind. The innocent stare Itachi had given her. The fact that he would one day murder his own clan (and ShisuiShisuiShisui). Itachi's tsukuyomi and his strength in the sharingan and how easily he could and would end her if he found out about her heritage.
(She's scared scared scared to her core)
Throwing caution to the wind, her eyes go ablaze with red and she wraps herself in a tight genjutsu.
She was going to get stronger. She was going to learn how to use the Sharingan without Danzo's meddling.
The next day, Jun wakes abruptly in cold sweat; eyes aching, muscles sore from her workout yesterday. Her skin is frigid to the touch, and she shivers despite being buried under two separate blankets. Jun squeezes her eyes further shut, willing the flashes of blood covered bodies and the smell of rotting flesh to fade back into her nightmare.
This is a common occurrence. The dreams are often too vivid, too horrifically real, especially after extensive usage of her sharingan. She is always left in some middle ground, where her fears bleed into the tangible world, and she isn't quite sure what's real and what isn't. Jun reaches for her bedstand, blindly reaching for anything that would help her differentiate between dream and reality. Her fingers slide across the blade of a kunai, and the sharp nick of pain grounds her.
(My name is Jun Hiromi. I have died once, but I am still here. I am still real.)
She lets out a shuddering breath, her frantic heartbeat slowing back to a normal rate. Jun runs her hand through her hair, taking deep breaths to offset the adrenaline in her system.
She lies there for what seems to be an eternity, before forcibly opening her eyes. But all Jun is greeted with is more darkness. Frowning, she brings her fingers up to her face, resting the tips against her eyelids. Her eyes are open, but everything is pitch black. What the fuck?
The implication sets in quickly, and soon afterwards, the panic. Jun blindly reaches for her blinds, fumbling around for the cord and yanking down hard. She hears the undeniable sound of her blinds flying up, but she is still surrounded by an unpierceable darkness.
"Oh shit," Jun whispers to herself, body trembling as she tangles her fingers into her sheets. "Shit shit shit-"
She stumbles out of bed, nearly tripping over her own shoes. Her room is now a dangerous field she has to navigate. Jun stumbles all the way to the bathroom, the thin flaking walls her only support. She reaches the sink, turns on the faucet, and splashes freezing water into her face. Her eyes now feel like they're on fire, and Jun frantically rubs at them, hoping to somehow fix whatever was going on.
Jun doesn't realize she's crying until the tears splash onto her arm.
She lets out a bitter laugh. Of course she'd be crying. Why not? She was selfish selfish selfish and if her sight was gone she'd be worthless.
(And being worthless is the same as being dead.)
Jun grips the sides of the sink even tighter, digging her nails into the ceramic. She needed to calm down, rationalize. She had a pair of sunglasses tucked away in her cabinet. No one except for maybe Yasuhiro would question her wardrobe change. And if she could get to a root medic, she could at least get a diagnosis.
Danzo would know, but it wasn't as if she had any other choice. It wasn't as if she could go to the Konoha hospital and get a check up without the entire village knowing of her dojutsu. Her sight is the only reason Danzo cultivated her. Her sharingan is the only reason she hasn't been killed.
Jun would take the danger she knows over the danger of the Uchiha clan any day.
A sharp rap on the door startles Jun out of her thoughts.
"Yes?" Jun calls, turning off the faucet as she shakily makes her way to the door.
"Just checking on you dear," one of the mothers of the orphanage responds. "It's 6:50 already, don't you usually go meet that Yasuhiro boy at 7? It's not like you to oversleep."
"Just- getting a few things ready," Jun says as she hastily pulls on a sweater and faded jeans. Rummaging into her cabinet, she pulls out the sunglasses and puts them on. "Thanks for the wake up call."
"No problem."
Jun waits for the footsteps to recede back down the hall before opening the door. She touches one hand to the wall and breaks into a sprint. If she didn't want to be late, she'd have to rely on her speed. Jun still couldn't shunshin very well anyway, and she wasn't going to push it when she can't even see.
Out in the street, Jun quickly turns towards the busy market, letting her chakra spread out and prevent any collisions. There were surprisingly few people at this time of day, which was both a blessing and a curse. There were significantly less figures that Jun could accidentally bump into, but it was far harder for her to tell where she was going. The buildings and street vendors didn't give off any chakra (at least, not that she could tell), so Jun bounced from person to person as she jogged lightly through the streets.
She slows to a stop near the Hyuuga compound, zoning in on Yasuhiro's soothing chakra.
"Hey," Jun waves in greeting, falling in step besides him.
"... Jun?" Yasuhiro asks lightly, "Why are you wearing sunglasses?"
"It's too bright outside."
Yasuhiro makes an unconvinced sound. "... It's foggy right now."
"Oh," Jun curses herself internally. Where was Konoha's standard weather? The one day where it mattered, the scorching sun let her down. "Uh, yeah. I knew that. Saw Shisui yesterday. He recommended I should change up my fashion style for a bit." She hoped the mention of the Uchiha would stop the insistent questions, she really did.
"Jun," Yasuhiro sighs, stopping entirely. Jun knows she can't get away with it now. "Are your eyes really okay?"
She scratches the back of her head, trying to spin a lie of the top of her head. It really shouldn't be her automatic reaction, to mislead her best friend. She hates herself a little more just for it.
"It's… not that bad? I just..." Jun sweats nervously. She can't even see Yasuhiro's expression, but she somehow feels guilty all the same. "Can't… see at the moment."
Jun regrets it immediately. She feels like she's bared her neck; announced to the entire village that she's a filthy liar. But suddenly, there's soft hands cradling her face and Jun has to force herself not to flinch back.
"Byakugan," Yasuhiro activates his dojutsu, chakra rushing to his eyes. "There's some sort of blockage in your tenketsu here..." A pause. Jun feels his fingers trace lightly over her eyelids. "... Jun, do you have a dojutsu?"
"What," Jun recoils, "How did- what-"
She clamps her mouth shut before she can make the whole situation worse. But of course. The byakugan could see chakra coils. There'd be no plausible reason for the coils around her eyes to be so developed other than the possibility of a dojutsu.
(God she's so dumb she's so dumb she's so dumb- how many times has she travelled to the Hyuuga compound? How many times has she possible risked her secret?)
"... I do." Jun whispers, feeling the shame color her face.
There's a silence, and Jun thinks that this is how their friendship ends. In the fog, where all of her lies and secrets come tumbling out one by one. She can feel the conflicted emotions tinting Yasuhiro's chakra, his breathing sharp from this revelation.
Jun jumps a little when she feels Yasuhiro grab her arm.
"Alright, let's go to the hospital," the older boy gently links arms with her and begins to lead her in a different direction. "We're skipping today. We need to figure out what's wrong."
"I- what?" Jun sputters, the reaction throwing her off kilter. She stumbles along, guided by Yasuhiro. "No 'Hiro please you can't-"
"I'm mad at you," Yasuhiro continues, his soft and quivering voice immediately shutting Jun up. "This is- Jun this is huge. And you didn't trust me enough to tell me about it."
"I'm-" Jun chokes on her words; the desolate sinking feeling in her stomach twisting and strangling her windpipe. She deserves this, she really does. But she can't let the Uchiha clan know she exists- she can't. "Shisui. Please. I need to talk to him."
"Okay," Yasuhiro relents easily, allowing the two fall back into silence.
Jun has never been more heartbroken to have silence wash over her.