INT. MURPHY'S BAR (DINING AREA)

SETH, ALEXA, BECKY, SASHA, SAMI, BAYLEY, KEVIN, AJ, CHARLOTTE and DANA are all seated. Everyone, with the exception of KEVIN, is seated at the same table. KEVIN is at a table by himself.

AJ: This is nice. We don't usually get to hang out together.

KEVIN: You guys get to hang out. I'm all alone.

DANA: That's what you get for getting here last.

*Laugh Track*

KEVIN: You're not even part of the group, Dana.

DANA: Then why am I here with everyone and you're all alone?

*Laugh Track*

SUMMER walks up to KEVIN'S table with a basket of food.

SUMMER: Don't feel too bad, Kev. (sets food in front of KEVIN) Garlic Parm wings, on the house.

KEVIN: (smiling) Alright. You're the best, Summer.

SUMMER smiles then leaves off-screen.

SETH: (fake cough) Bang her. (fake cough)

*Laugh Track*

KEVIN: (shakes his head, talking to himself) Guy can't get free chicken wings anymore?

*Laugh Track*

SASHA reaches for her beer, but BECKY takes it before she can grab it.

SASHA: What are you doing?

BECKY: You've already had two. Anymore and I'll have to carry you home.

SASHA: I can't wait to see how you act at our wedding.

BECKY: Oh, you're not allowed to have any booze at the wedding.

SASHA: (fake laugh) Real funny.

BECKY: I'm serious.

SASHA: Fine. If I can't have a glass of champagne at my own wedding, then no sex on the wedding night.

BECKY: Aww, what?

SASHA: Or the honeymoon.

The whole group begins to protest against SASHA.

*Laugh Track*

CHARLOTTE: You can't not not have sex on your honeymoon; That's like eighty five percent of the reason you have one in the first place.

SASHA: We can just have sex at your house. It's not any different.

CHARLOTTE: (crosses her arms) What do you mean my house?

SASHA: Uh... (looks across the room and points her finger) Did Murphy get a new pinball machine?

*Laugh Track*

CHARLOTTE: (looks at BECKY) Becky? Care to explain?

BECKY, sipping her drink, avoids eye contact with CHARLOTTE.

*Laugh Track*

AJ: When did you guys have sex in our house?

SASHA: Remember Kevin's birthday when you invited me and Becky and we had just started dating?

AJ: Yeah, you said you two were just casual and weren't even having se- (he stops when SASHA gives him a sheepish smile) Oh, my God.

CHARLOTTE: (with a horrified look on her face) You said you were moaning cause she was giving you a massage.

*Laugh Track*

BAYLEY: Oh, she was massaging something alright.

BECKY and SASHA give BAYLEY shocked and confused looks.

*Laugh Track*

SASHA: How do you know?

BAYLEY: I was in the bed next to yours.

*Laugh Track*

BECKY: I thought you were asleep.

BAYLEY: I was, but then I woke up to somebody saying: "Oh, God, Becky your toes are amazing."

*Laugh Track*

The group turns towards SASHA and BECKY. SASHA and BECKY both avoid eye contact with everyone; BECKY takes a sip of her drink, while SASHA pretends to be reading a menu.

*Laugh Track*

[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]

WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas

CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan

*30 second Dominoes commercial*

*30 second Pizza Hut commercial*

*1 minute local law firm commercial*

INT. MURPHY'S BAR (DINING AREA)

SASHA and BECKY are still avoiding looking at anyone.

ALEXA: So, Sasha... You like feet, huh?

SASHA: I don't like feet. I just...

ALEXA: Have a foot fetish?

SASHA: ... Yeah.

KEVIN: Guys, I'm eating.

*Laugh Track*

ALEXA: You don't have to be embarrassed about that. We all have weird things we like to do, not just for sex but everyday life.

SETH: Yeah, like how Alexa has sex with her socks on.

The group start laughing, gasping in surprise, etc.

*Laugh Track*

ALEXA: (turns towards SETH and gives him a dirty look) Really?

SETH: It's not a weird fetish or something like that. Your feet just get cold when you orgasm.

BAYLEY chokes on her drink.

*Laugh Track*

ALEXA: You wanna go there, Seth?

SETH: (shrugs his shoulders and chuckles) It's not a big deal, Lexi. It's just a little fun fact about you.

ALEXA: (with fake joy) Oh, ok, (regular voice, to the group) Seth likes it when I'm the man.

SAMI, KEVIN, AJ: No!

*Laugh Track*

SETH's jaw drops.

KEVIN: Seth, what the fu-

SUMMER: (walking on screen, interrupting KEVIN) Could we keep our voices down? There's a birthday party going on over there.

KEVIN: No problem, Summer.

SUMMER: What's all the commotion about anyway?

SAMI: Seth likes it when Alexa's the man.

SUMMER gasps in shock and covers her mouth.

*Laugh Track*

SETH: Add this to the list of places I can never show my face again.

*Laugh Track*

ALEXA: Don't worry, baby, (in a mocking tone) It's just a little fun fact.

BAYLEY: (raising her hand, in an excited tone) Alexa tried kissing me.

ALEXA: Bayley!

*Laugh Track*

SETH: What?

SUMMER: (pulling up a chair next to KEVIN) I gotta hear this one.

*Laugh Track*

AJ: When did that happen?

ALEXA: Please don't, Bayley.

BAYLEY: Last weekend.

ALEXA: (under her breath) Son of a bitch.

*Laugh Track*

BAYLEY: It was me, Sasha, Becky, and Alexa all hanging out at their apartment. Becky and Sasha started making out and Alexa thought it'd be funny if we made out too. Then she tried kissing me.

SETH: Did you kiss?

ALEXA: Well...

SAMI: (overenthusiasticlly) Please say yes!

*Laugh Track*

ALEXA: Yeah, but for like two seconds. But I felt horrible about it, Seth. I'm so sorry.

SETH hugs ALEXA.

SETH: (still hugging ALEXA) You don't need to be sorry. I get it. You girls were having a couple of drinks, things got weird, it happens.

SETH, still hugging ALEXA, turns his head towards BAYLEY.

SETH: (mouthing) Second base?

BAYLEY: (nods her head, mouthing) Oh yeah.

SETH gives BAYLEY a thumbs up then gives her a high five.

*Laugh Track*

CHARLOTTE: Ok, now can we have normal conversations now?

AJ: Charlotte's bisexual.

CHARLOTTE: (stammering) So is Bayley.

BAYLEY: Yeah... I think we all already knew that.

*Laugh Track*

BAYLEY: Good try though.

KEVIN: (jumping up from his seat) Bayley fantasized about Peter Pan during sex once.

BAYLEY: I told you that in confidence!

*Laugh Track*

SAMI: With me?

BAYLEY: No, baby, of course not. (kisses SAMI) It was during the threesome.

AJ and CHARLOTTE both exclaim in surprise. The other members of the group also laugh, exclaim, etc.

*Laugh Track*

SAMI: Ok, I'm glad. (pauses for a moment, to the group) Bayley has to sleep with the lights on.

BAYLEY gasps in surprise.

MURPHY: (off camera) Kevin was a virgin until college.

KEVIN: How do you know that?!

*Laugh Track*

AJ starts laughing.

KEVIN: AJ has an non-descended testicle.

AJ: I tell that to people in confidence.

SETH: Still a weird way to introduce yourself, by the way.

*Laugh Track*

AJ: Summer has a third nipple.

CHARLOTTE: How do you know that?

*Nervous Ooh Track*

AJ: (pointing across the room) That is a new pinball machine.

*2 Minute preview of upcoming documentary "Friday Night Ignition"*

INT. MURPHY'S BAR (DINING AREA)

The group is sitting in silence; Everyone has shocked expressions on their faces.

*Laugh Track*

SASHA: (to ALEXA) So... You wear socks during sex?

ALEXA: (nodding her head) Yep.

SASHA nods her head.

AJ: (to BECKY) Your girl likes feet?

BECKY: More than fingers.

KEVIN: (standing beside SETH) How do you like her being the man!?

*Laugh Track*

DANA: I feel left out. I don't have a weird thing about me.

SAMI: (speaking in a monotone) Dana lost her virginity to her algebra teacher when she was fifteen.

*Laugh Track*

DANA: (muttering) Sami finds whipped cream sexy.

AJ: A lot of people do.

BECKY: I have a sort of interesting one.

SETH: Is it going to tear any of us down? It just feels so awkward now that we did that.

BECKY: (shakes her head) No, it's pretty fascinating.

SUMMER: Do you have a third nipple?

*Laugh Track*

BECKY: No.

BECKY leans closer towards the table, making everyone else lean in closer.

BECKY: My parents don't know I'm lesbian.

The group reacts surprised.

SASHA: Mine either.

CHARLOTTE: What do they think when they see your Instabook photos with Sasha?

BECKY: They assume she's just a really good friend.

SETH: Why don't they know?

SASHA: Becky's dad is a Catholic priest. And my parents are strict, conservative, military vets. So you can imagine what life would be if they knew about us.

ALEXA: Didn't you ever try to tell them?

BECKY: No, I tried telling my mum, but she told me it was a phase and that I'd grow out of it. But here I am: Twenty-seven and still attracted to girls.

SASHA: And I never bothered telling my parents; One time when I was like, sixteen, we saw a same sex couple at the park. My dad did not ease up on the homophobic slurs.

KEVIN: Your dad should meet Seth.

*Laugh Track*

SETH: I don't like it cause of that: I like it because Alexa's in control.

DANA: That... Makes it less weird... I think.

ALEXA: (whispering to SETH) I like being in control too.

BECKY: So that's my story (takes a sip of her drink) I'll be here all week.

SASHA wraps her arm around BECK and kisses her on the cheek.

BECKY: (to SASHA) I love you.

SASHA: I love you too, Becky.

AJ: My family is pretty religious too. So you can imagine the butt-whoopin' I got when I got caught having sex with my girlfriend when I was sixteen.

The group laughs at AJ's input.

BAYLEY: I've never met my mom.

SAMI: Really?

BAYLEY: (nods her head) I only have pictures, but yeah, I never really met her after she gave birth to me.

SUMMER: I have a crush on Kevin.

ALL: We know.

*Laugh Track*

AJ: Where is Kevin?

SUMMER: He said he was stepping out for a second.

AJ: Lucky you.

SUMMER chuckles nervously and nods her head.

SETH: I told Alexa I loved her after only like two weeks together.

CHARLOTTE: Was that before or after she was the man for the first time?

*Laugh Track*

SETH: Before.

AJ: In all seriousness though: We should all hang out more often.

The group agrees with him

KEVIN joins the group again.

AJ: (to KEVIN) All good?

KEVIN: Yeah, just my dad.

AJ: How's he doin'?

KEVIN: He's getting better. Tough sonuvabitch.

SASHA: I don't wanna be rude, but I got an early day tomorrow.

CHARLOTTE: (glancing at her phone) It's only five thirty.

SASHA: Yeah, but I wanna get some before I go to sleep.

BECKY: (quickly jumps up) That's my cue!

*Laugh Track*

SASHA and BECKY leave.

AJ: I reckon it's time we leave too.

AJ helps CHARLOTTE stands up and leaves with her.

ALEXA, BAYLEY, SETH, and SAMI say their goodbyes and leave.

KEVIN and DANA are the only ones still sitting at the table.

DANA: Hey.

KEVIN: What's up?

DANA: I've got my eye on that cutie with the brown hair at the bar; Wanna be my wing man?

KEVIN: (laughs) Sure, why not?

DANA walks off screen.

SUMMER walks up to the table and begins collecting the glasses.

KEVIN: How much do I owe ya?

SUMMER: Murphy says it's covered.

KEVIN: No, c'mon, what's the bill?

SUMMER: That guy at the end of the bar handled it.

KEVIN: (looks at the guy) That's the guy Dana has her eye on.

SUMMER: That explains it.

KEVIN: Here. I'll give you a tip.

SUMMER: You don't gotta do that.

KEVIN kisses SUMMER on her cheek. SUMMER looks at KEVIN in surprise, before starting to giggle uncontrollably.

KEVIN: See ya tomorrow.

SUMMER tries to speak, but barely manages to make a sound. KEVIN walks off-screen.

MURPHY: (off-screen) Smooth, Summer.

*Laugh Track*

[END CREDITS SEQUENCE]

WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas

CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan