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Edward

Bella hummed softly as she ran the roller through the pan, then up and down the wall. She had wanted to go back out and practice some more with Kate after we'd fed, but I'd been able to talk her out of it, thankfully. Reminding her that we still had the room to paint had done the trick, although I had a feeling that it was more about appeasing me than any desire on her part to actually paint. Still, we'd started as soon as we'd returned, rather than talking to anyone else. I wanted some more time with her; just the two of us, and the others had seemed to sense this. Bella hadn't argued. Alice had picked a deep chocolate brown for one wall where she planned on placing my stereos and CDs, while the other three walls would be a calm green. Brown curtains and a brown bedspread completed the earthy looking room, along with green sheets. It reminded me of the island we would visit soon, and Alice assured us that we would love the finished product.

I dipped my own roller into the pan, keeping a close eye on her. She didn't seem to be exhibiting any side effects from her previous attack, if that's what it was, and she was humming the song I'd written for her under her breath as she painted. The rest of the family was around, mostly outside, hunting nearby or just giving us space. Tanya and Kate were out of range, as were Carlisle and Esme, but the others were nearby. Jasper and Emmett were wrestling, and Alice was sitting in a tree, watching. Rosalie sat on the ground nearby, legs crossed, thinking about Bella. I appreciated her thoughts, but remembering how much pain she'd been in was difficult. Vampires weren't supposed to feel pain like that.

"What do you think?" Bella stood back, one hand on her hip, the one holding the roller carefully keeping it over the pan so that none of the paint dripped onto the carpet. I placed my own roller into the pan, walking over to her and looping an arm around her waist. She smiled over at me, sighing happily when my lips met hers.

"I think you missed your calling love." I murmured, my fingers gently kneading the skin above her hips, making her giggle and squirm away. Still ticklish. I chuckled, kissing her once more and then pulling away. It was strange sometimes, how different touching her felt now. At first I'd tended to be too gentle, my fingers moving so lightly over her skin that it drove her crazy. She'd finally told me after pulling away for the umpteenth time, explaining that I was just tickling her. It had taken a week or two, but I'd finally gotten the hang of it. I pulled myself out of my thoughts then, really looking at the wall. We needed to finish before Alice decided to come back and finish for us.

"As a painter?" She rolled her eyes, dipping the roller into the paint once more. We had little tarps placed under the areas where we were painting, but we still had to be careful when working over the carpet. Not to mention, I hadn't missed the little finger-shaped indentions in the wood. It was still hard for her to control her strength at times. I pretended not to notice, moving back toward my own wall. Blue tape covered the crown molding, the baseboard, all of the power outlets, and the window, keeping them safe from the paint. We'd decided to make a day of it. Or rather, a night. The sun was beginning to set.

"Or an interior decorator." I offered lightly, practically able to hear her answering smile.

"Right. That would be Alice."
"She actually has been an interior designer."

"Hm…how did that go?"
"It was okay…she had fun, but she couldn't really work during the day, depending on the weather. It's annoying sometimes."

"Hm." I glanced back at her.

"Are you sure you don't want to hold off on this…talk to Carlisle." I could tell she was still upset about what had happened. I wanted to hold off on more practice for as long as possible, but I knew she would want to keep trying. Maybe we could wait until after the wedding…and the honeymoon.

"I thought you wanted to get the room done." The smile in her voice was obvious, and I grinned at her.

"I do. The sooner we get it done, the sooner we can put the bed back."
"Yeah…and the sooner we put the bed back…" She trailed off, dropping the roller back into the pan, splashing just a drop of paint onto the tarp. She moved toward me slowly, her eyes bright and expectant. "…then what?" She wondered, finally reaching me and placing a hand on my chest, up by my shoulder, trailing it down slowly. I exhaled shakily, forcing the smile.

"Then…we'll be able to cuddle while we watch movies." She snorted, rolling her eyes and dropping her hand. She was amused, but I could sense her disappointment. Reaching out, I caught her hand, pulling her back to me. She let herself be pulled, putting her hands back on my chest and looking up at me. "Our first time will be on our honeymoon, and it will be memorable, not just something we do in our bedroom with our whole family listening." I murmured, stroking her cheek.

"It will be memorable, because it will be with you." She whispered, tiptoeing and placing a light kiss on my nose. But when she pulled away, she was smiling once more, her face light. "I'm looking forward to this mysterious honeymoon, even if you refuse to tell me anything about it." I shrugged, grinning unrepentantly.

"Sorry love. It's a surprise." I told her, tugging her back toward me and kissing her once more.

'You'd better stop making out and start painting, or I'll do it myself.' I rolled my eyes at Alice's thoughts, pulling away slightly.

"Alice is threatening to come and finish up herself if we don't get back to work." I mumbled lightly against her lips, kissing her again. She giggled, leaning in to kiss me once more before turning away, moving back over to her wall.

"Then we'd better hurry up." I groaned, dropping my arm with a sigh, then went back to my own roller. The quicker we finished this, the more down time we'd have during the night. Well, since neither of us was in school at the moment, we had plenty of downtime anyway, but Bella was still going back and forth between online classes and night school. Based on her reaction to the woman at the store, she was leaning toward online classes. I knew it was hard for her, but she would get better. It got easier over time, for all of us.

Carlisle came into range, followed quickly by Esme, and I was unsurprised to find both of their thoughts centering on Bella. 'I think what Jasper suggested may have some merit. Her panic disorder may somehow be affecting her in this life. Or it could just be a side effect of a gift we've never seen. Either way, I'd have to study it before I could know for sure, and even then…but I won't subject her to that. I can't. Maybe there's a way to test it, stopping before the pain becomes too much for her. Or maybe I can figure it out by just talking to her. But Edward was able to read her mind! Can he learn anything through that? It only works when she's using her shield.' His thoughts were scattered, going from me to Bella and back, then to the others, trying to figure out this new puzzle. I couldn't resent him for it…I was the same way. Still, I hated the thought of my fiancée being just another puzzle to solve.

Bella

Edward was scared. I hated it. The room was almost completely covered in the new paint, a break from the white and beige color scheme of the rest of the house, and the handle of my roller was covered in little indentions where my fingers had pushed too hard on the wood. I sighed softly, readjusting my grip and trying not to let it get to me. It took time. I'd accepted that. Mostly. Minus the blood part. That was still hard to come to terms with. I remembered the woman at the store and flinched a little, glad my back was to Edward. Still, he was perceptive. He probably noticed.

I felt fine. Normal. Well, normal for a vampire. After the initial…whatever it was with Jasper and Kate, I immediately began feeling better, and by the time we were back to the house, I was fine, minus the black eyes. That was still a little creepy. I had a feeling I would get used to it though. I just didn't want Edward to worry so much about me. He'd done it for so long already. Now that I was a vampire, he wasn't supposed to worry anymore. I was immortal and strong and there wasn't supposed to be anything, short of anther vampire, that could hurt me. But now, I had this gift that was more like a curse. I heard wood splinter and quickly released the handle

"Bella?"
"Hm?" I forced a smile, turning and facing him. I could hear Carlisle and Esme talking downstairs, but no one had bothered us for at least an hour. He moved over to my side once more, placing a hand on my shoulder and glancing down at the roller that clattered to the ground.

"What's the matter, love?" He wondered, his thumb moving back and forth along the skin of my neck.

"Nothing." I lied easily. It was easier now. My face barely gave anything away, except maybe to my vampire boyfriend.

"Bella…"

"I just don't want you to worry about me." I murmured, turning to face him.

"I don't know if I'll ever stop worrying about you." He admitted, stroking my cheek. His skin was warm and soft now, but it still felt like electricity hummed just beneath my skin whenever he touched me.

"It's supposed to be a gift." I stared at the floor instead of his eyes, but he pulled my face up to meet his, cupping my cheeks in his hands. "It's a curse, Edward. What kind of gift does this to me? None of your gifts hurt…" I trailed off, my voice full of frustration, then backtracked when his eyes were full of pain. Of course he would blame himself. "Edward, this isn't your fault. I'm happy to share this life with you. I'm happy to be a vampire. You know that. I'm just…having trouble with my gift. I guess you all did at some point…didn't you?"
"Of course. You know about how I struggled in the beginning. Jasper felt the effects of his gift when he lived with Maria, and Alice has trouble with her visions still. I agree though…none of our gifts cause us pain even remotely like yours." He nearly flinched at the word 'pain' and I squeezed his wrist, hoping he wouldn't get all angsty. He'd been so happy with me these last few weeks. I hated to think of him sad now because I couldn't learn to control my stupid gift quickly enough. Vowing to work harder, I leaned in, pressing my lips to his.

"Let's make the bed. We're nearly done with the room." If the subject change surprised him, he didn't show it, and his lips turned up against mine.

"Mhm…"

"And then…" I pressed against him, laughing silently when he moaned a little. "…once the bed is back in the room, and we've got clean sheets and our new comforter…" I ran a finger from the back of his ear, down to his neck, stroking what would have been his pulse point. He pulled me almost impossibly closer. "…we can cuddle and watch a movie." I pushed him away with a smirk, whirling and heading out to the hallway, ignoring the soft chuckles of Carlisle and Esme who were downstairs. Edward sighed, taking a moment to follow, and I couldn't help a dash of pride, ignoring my own frustrations. 'Honeymoon.' The word was beginning to mock me. I felt like I'd been waiting for years.

"So, what movie did you two want to watch?" I hadn't heard Emmett come in…then again, it was hard to focus on so many things at once when Edward's lips were on mine…or when I was thinking about finally having sex with my fiancé. Of course he would be around when I was thinking about sex. It was like my brother had a special radar.

"I don't remember inviting you." I quipped, grinning when he appeared on the stairs. "Unless you wanted to cuddle." He laughed, his booming voice filling the space easily.

"No thanks, Bells. If I'm going to be cuddling with anyone, it'll be Eddie here. He's lonely, isn't that right?" Before I could blink, Emmett had Edward wrapped in his arms, ignoring how my fiancé squirmed irritably.

"Will you let go?" Edward snapped, elbowing Emmett hard. Our brother ignored his efforts, not even flinching when Edward's elbow made contact.

"No, come on. I wanna pick the movie. Bells, you cuddle with someone else. Edward is mine." I rolled my eyes. If Edward wanted to postpone sex this badly, then he could put up with Emmett's teasing. Ignoring the two of them, I spun on my heels, making my way downstairs, feeling frustrated. Judging by Jasper's snort, he could feel it, and I wondered how I'd missed his entrance. The second floor was full of windows, and I picked one instead of the door, pushing it open and then taking a leap. Just a few weeks ago, this would have terrified me, and possibly killed me. Now, I easily landed on the grass, racing toward the tree line. The last thing I heard was Emmett swearing. "Is she really mad?" I didn't stick around to hear Jasper's reply.

I wasn't mad. I wasn't angry with anyone except maybe myself. I just needed a minute. Or a few. I needed to find Kate and talk to her. We had a lot to talk about. Like my stupid gift and how I could master it. If that meant trying harder and working through the awful pain, then I would do it. Whatever it took. But Edward would argue, so I needed to do this alone. Hopefully he got that. I needed a minute alone. I hated the emotional mood swings that came with being a newborn. I hated suddenly feeling furious and frustrated and closed in when I was with my family that I loved, and I hated this gift that made searing pain rip through my head whenever I used it. But I had to learn to master it, right? What if I didn't? What kind of vampire just ignored their gift?

"Bella?" Kate and Tanya stood in the clearing that I'd entered without thinking about it. They stood close together, obviously having a conversation that I'd interrupted, and I apologized softly.

"We thought you'd be with Edward." There was something in Tanya's tone that bugged me, but I chose to ignore it in favor of speaking with Kate.

"I want to try again."

"Alright…" She was watching me carefully, no doubt on the look out for a newborn temper-tantrum. The through made a hot wave of fury cut through me before I took a deep breath, smiling a little at her.

"I need to try again. Please."

"Of course. I did promise to help." She watched me for another minute, then glanced at Tanya who was staring at me strangely. I couldn't help glaring at her just a little. I didn't like Tanya. It wasn't my fault. She annoyed me, and at times, I resented her presence in our home. Still, she was a friend of the family, and it wasn't like I had a right to tell her to leave. But I could glare at her. She narrowed her eyes a little, stepping back just a bit. "Now?"
"Yeah, but not here." I wanted to be away from my over protective family and the fiancé that watched me so closely and Tanya who just annoyed me. Kate glanced at Tanya, apparently sensing my emotions.

"Fine. Let's run for a while. Tanya, why don't you tell Carlisle where we've gone?" I shrugged, nodding in agreement, and Tanya did as Kate had asked. Hopefully the others would stay away and I'd have some time to practice, just the two of us, without anyone hovering.

I let Kate lead until we found ourselves past the fence and out in the woods, out of sight and out of range of the house…and Edward. I hated thinking of it that way. I loved Edward and I wanted to spend more time with him, but I couldn't right now. I wanted to do this alone. I had to do this alone. Once I got the hang of it, then we could practice together. Then he would have to feel that pain over and over again, and I wouldn't have to feel that awful guilt every time he bit back a cry of pain. She was hurting him. I was letting someone hurt him. I shook my head, turning to face Kate where she stood across from me.

"You want to do this alone." It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyway. "Then there's only one way we can do this."

I heard Edward before I saw him, of course. His smell hit me next. I could pick him out of a crowd any day…his scent was so unique and distinct to me, more than any of my family. I closed my eyes, shaking my head at Kate. For the last two hours, we'd been working. Since we didn't have anyone to practice with, we were working on my ability to push my shield out so that she could shock me. Of course, she barely used any of her power, so I barely felt a little tingle, but I was working on pushing it away for longer and longer periods of time, and was up to almost ten minutes when we heard Edward approaching.

Kate removed her hand and I let the shield snap back, leaning down and placing my hands on my knees. I was kind of tired, like before, but thankfully there had been no debilitating headaches. I felt more drained than anything, but after what had happened before, that wasn't so bad. At least nothing hurt. Edward was approaching from the opposite direction than the house, so I assumed he'd circled around, giving us time. I couldn't blame him. If he'd disappeared for hours at a time, I'd be worried and follow him too. Kate stepped away from me, moving over to where Edward was approaching, but I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my mind, letting the shield return to its normal place in my mind, wherever that was. "Love?" Edward sounded afraid. Why? Did he think I wanted to leave him? Did he think I could be so upset that I wouldn't want him?

"Yeah?" I asked, standing up fully and watching as Kate moved a little closer, her path almost intercepting his.

"I was worried…Emmett wanted to apologize to you, but I told him I'd come and find you first. He never meant to upset you." I shook my head with a small smile.

"He didn't really. Sorry. I just…I wanted to work with Kate for a little while. I didn't mean to worry you." Kate was still standing almost in Edward's path as he approached me slowly, but before he could reach me, he turned suddenly to Kate, looking confused. Suddenly, Kate's arm shot out, gripping his wrist fiercely. Edward's face contorted and a shocked cry escaped as his knees buckled, his body slamming into the ground, and still she held on as my vision turned red.

Someone was screaming. It took me a minute to realize it was Kate…but I could barely hear it over the furious growling that shook my entire body. Teeth bared, I felt dangerous. Truly deadly. My fingers wrapped around her throat as I held her down. Someone was yelling. It had to be Edward, but I didn't really think about it. All I knew was that Kate had hurt him. It was like I'd reached my end. I couldn't bear it. I couldn't bear to see Edward in pain over and over again because I couldn't protect him. So I'd put an end to it.

"Bella, stop!" Someone's arms were around my waist, but they couldn't move me. I was strong. I was deadly. My teeth were close to the female's neck. She'd hurt my mate. I would kill her. The sharp hiss erupted from my throat and the arms released me, then moved to my neck, but they couldn't stop me. I was going to kill her! Who she was didn't matter. Her name didn't matter. Her golden eyes went wide with fury and her foot swung up, catching me in the stomach and throwing me back. My body collided with the tree, snapping it in half, and both the twisted trunk and myself crashed into the forest floor. I jumped back up, dodging the one who tried to stop me, and winced when I was tackled once more, my head cracking against a rock that shattered like glass.

More voices joined the fray, but before anymore arms could try to restrain me, I was under the one that tried to hurt my mate and a sharp, horrible burning erupted in my shoulder. I screamed long and hard, pain and fury taking voice and echoing through the forest. It was almost my neck. If I hadn't jerked away at the last second, it would have been. Still, I felt that primal fear deep in my stomach. She could have killed me. I bared my teeth, jerking my head to the side and trying to catch her skin before the female was suddenly removed, the screaming voices coming sharply into focus. I leapt to my feet, lunging after her, but strong arms caught me before I could attack. "Enough!"

I knew that voice. That voice had never reprimanded me so sharply. The hands around me were tight…too tight, and I whimpered, squirming as I was restrained. They loosened immediately, but I fought the urge to escape again. Edward. Edward was holding me tightly to his chest, one hand on my stomach, one across my chest, thumb running over my shoulder where she'd bit me. Kate had bit me! I was breathing heavily, even though I didn't need the oxygen, but so was Edward as he kept me in the circle of his arms.

"What happened?" Carlisle's voice was cold and sharp and furious, making me shrink back a little, my eyes dropping to the grass in front of my feet. "Kate?" He snarled. Glancing up, I found her in Emmett's arms, his face dark like thunder, his muscles unyielding.

"We were practicing." She admitted. "She came to me! She wanted to do this alone." I felt the growl building but managed to fight it. "We were doing fine, and then Edward came. I thought it might help to catch her by surprise...I thought she would be able to protect him if I caught her off guard." The growl escaped this time, and Carlisle turned to me with a severe look. My furious eyes met his, and he softened a little.

"No more practicing alone." He told me quietly, looking between Kate and I. "In fact, no more practice for a few days." Edward's arms tightened just a little, and I didn't know if he was hugging me or restraining me. I didn't care. If he let me go, I was afraid that I would attack again, so I relaxed against him a little. "Kate, why don't you go hunt? Tanya, join her." It wasn't a suggestion. I hadn't even realized the other female was in the clearing with us, but glancing around, I realized that everyone was. The hiss escaped before I could stop it, but Edward wasn't letting go.

"Easy, love." He murmured into my ear, still stroking my shoulder. I tensed when Emmett released Kate, but the woman came nowhere near me, instead giving all of us a wide berth and disappearing into the forest. I stared after her for a long time, the clearing silent except for my still-ragged breathing. "Let me see." Edward broke the silence, his fingers moving to the still-stinging area on my shoulder, and I flinched.

"Kate bit her?" Carlisle's voice was incredulous and furious and I jerked away from him, still feeling the rush of fear and fury and too many emotions. I'd never been so angry before in my life. How hadn't he known? Or had he just heard us screaming and fighting. I wanted to scream. I was so angry I was shaking. "Jasper?" And then I wasn't. I was fine. Calm. I leaned my head tiredly against Edward, slumping against him and letting his arms hold me up. He did so easily, kissing my hair, and warm fingers touched the wound on my shoulder. It would fade a little, but I would have the scar forever. "This was close." He almost whispered, backing away. I couldn't figure out why he seemed so upset. I was perfectly calm and happy. I'd missed Edward. Now I was in his arms. I'd been worried about my gift. Now I was…fine. My brain didn't want to focus on that right now.

"Nice, Jazz. Don't you think you should ease up a little?"

"Any less and she'd go after Kate again." He told Emmett wryly. I had no idea what he was talking about. I couldn't imagine wanting to attack anyone.

"We're going back to the house." Esme now, her soft, gentle voice floating to me. "Edward, why don't you two stay out here for a while? When she's ready, come back to the house and we can all talk, okay?" I felt Edward nod, and then the calm was gone, along with my family. Looking up, I met Edward's dark, worried eyes, and I felt hot shame creep up from my stomach. Had I been human, I would have blushed. As it was, I couldn't meet his eyes until his thumb slipped under my chin.

"Bella?"

My eyes were hot. I hated crying as a vampire, but nothing I did could stop the sob, and I curled more tightly in his embrace, his arms tightening around me. "Sorry." I sobbed, hiding my face again. "I'm sorry…she hurt you…" He shifted, then stepped back, and before I knew it, we were sitting on the grass, me in his lap, my face hidden in his neck. "It's too much…I can't…" Edward didn't answer, stroking my back slowly as he rocked me back and forth.

Thank you for reading.