Into our fourth trip through the Doctor's Memory Lane we go.

Chapter 10: Memory 4: A Minotaur in Paris

Wandering through the sunlit streets, the Doctor took a deep breath and let it out with a huge sigh. "Ah, Paris in the spring! Can you feel it, Romana? The ionic particles in the air bursting forth to calm the alpha waves-"

"Weren't we just here?" Romana cut in, glancing around the street in confusion. "I'm sure you've brought me here before. Has the TARDIS only got five locations in its randomiser or something?"

"Same place, a couple of decades later." The Doctor pointed towards the Eiffel Tower, where a large banner hung down from its middle level reading 'A.N. 2000'. "This is the new millennium, the turn of the century. It's one of my favourite times in Earth's history. You know, I think I've even been here more times than I've been on the Titanic-"

"Doctor, look!" Romana cried as she pointed down the street. "That painted man, he's been locked in a cyclonic force box! We have to do something!"

The Doctor turned sharply but when he saw what Romana was pointing at, his fearful look swiftly faded into one of humour. Standing on the other side of the street was a man dressed in a black skin-tight costume and white gloves. His snow-white face was twisted in a satirical expression of shock and his hands moved in such a way that it indeed looked like he was trapped inside an invisible box.

"That?" the Doctor chuckled. "That's only a mime artist. He's pretending to be trapped inside a box. He also pretends to climb ladders, pull ropes, walk against the wind, and before you ask why, I have no idea."

But before Romana could ask why, the mime turned round and waved his hands in front of him. Suddenly a swirling vortex opened up before him and quick as a flash, he leapt inside.

"Hold on a second," the Doctor gasped. "I've never seen a mime do that before!"

Romana stepped back in alarm. "I really think-"

"Come on, Romana!" the Doctor yelled, grabbing her hand. "Before it closes up again!"

"Hey!" the Time Lady cried as she was dragged across the street.

In a matter of seconds, they reached the vortex and with a final cry of "Allez-oop!", the Doctor had pulled Romana into the swirling unknown a split-second before it vanished into thin air…

For a few seconds, Romana felt like she was caught in a blue tornado before she was tossed out unceremoniously onto a dark dingy chamber. "OOF!" she gasped."Doctor!"

"I'm here," he grunted, staggering to his feet. "Well, that was fun, wasn't it?"

Slowly, Romana got up and glanced around the room they had landed in. "Where are we?"

"Hmm." The Doctor put one hand onto the nearest wall while dusting himself off with the other. "From the looks of the walls, I'd say late 17th century workmanship. We must be in the catacombs under Paris!"

Fumbling around through the darkness, Romana found an old oil-lamp and lit it. She looked round in time to see the vortex they'd popped through fade away. "Well, it looks like our way out is disappearing. Do you know how to get out of these catacombs?"

"Oh, absolutely." The Doctor set off down one doorway and Romana hurried after him, holding the lamp before her. "I brought Victor Hugo down here once, you know. Poor fellow almost had a heart attack. He changed the entire plot-line of Les Misérables because of this. It was going to be a comedy, you know."

For a few minutes, they wandered through the murky labyrinth, looking for a way out but the Doctor had more worrying concerns. "What I want to know is why the mime artist would come down here in the first place. I mean, it's not very hospitable down here, now is it?"

"Yes," Romana agreed. "And how many other people have followed him and ended up down here?"

"Oh, I don't know, probably one or two. We're not too far from the main route. They could have-" The Doctor stopped talking as he heard loud footsteps coming from behind and spun round. "Ah."

Romana turned round to find that a small infantry unit was coming round the corner towards them. Each soldier was dressed in a blue uniform with red trim and gold epaulettes, white belts and a black-felt shako hat with a red plume , and carried a musket armed with a bayonet. They were led by a stern-faced man with a black moustache who wore a uniform with red epaulettes, a white waistcoat and a bearskin cap with a white cord and a brass plate stamped with a burning grenade.

"Halt!" the leading man bellowed in a rough French accent while his soldiers pointed their guns at the Time Lords.

Romana gulped as she raised her hands. "Doctor, what are they? Doctor?"

But the Doctor didn't respond, his face frozen in a nervous grin.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

Still no reply.

"I knew I shouldn't have come here with you! I knew I should have returned to Gallifrey instead!"

Finally the Doctor broke out of his trance and grinned broadly. "There you are! Brigadier-General Jean Forgeron at your service! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"You have?" the leader gasped. "Brigadier-General?" He quickly turned to his soldiers. "Lower your weapons!"

As the soldiers obeyed, Romana leaned over the Doctor's ear. " Brigadier-General Jean Forgeron?"

"French for 'John Smith'," the Doctor hissed back. "And I always wanted to be a brigadier."

"Please forgive me, Monsieur," the leader said. "I am Sergeant Christoph de Fontaine, leader of these noble grenadiers of Emperor Napoleon."

"Emperor Napoleon, eh?" the Doctor murmured. "Tell me, Sergeant, what year is this?"

"Why, it's 1810, of course," de Fontaine cried. "What kind of silly question is that?"

"A very revealing one, I can tell you. It means you're not re-enactors after all! Now, how did you get down here, and how long have you been down here?"

"Only a day or two," the Sergeant explained. "We were chasing a runner through the streets of Paris. One minute we were on the Rue Galilée, and then the next… we were here! Can you get us out of here?"

The Doctor grinned. "Oh, I think we can do better than that."

"Doctor, I mean, Brigadier-General," Romana cut in. "May I have a word?" She turned the Doctor round and whispered, "These men are from almost two centuries ago! If they've only been here two days…"

"Then the doors open up more than just space," the Doctor finished, rubbing his chin. "Yes, I'd wondered that when I saw them. The question is, why do the doors open in the first place?" He turned back to the Sergeant. "Just so I know, which way did you come from?"

"From the west," de Fontaine replied. "We followed a straight line."

"Excellent," the Doctor declared. "Then wait here, there's a good chap. We'll just have a look at the east."

The Sergeant gave a firm salute as the Doctor and Romana set off eastwards.

For several long minutes, the Time Lords wandered through the catacombs, making several wrong turnings as they went. "This place is just a reputable maze," Romana sighed after the umpteenth dead end.

"I used to know a man who designed mazes, you know," the Doctor replied.

"Let me guess. One day, he got lost in one, never to return?"

"Not really. A tree fell on him."

Eventually, they went down a passageway that led them into the sewers. Romana almost gagged at the stench, then she spotted a familiar figure running down a different tunnel. "Look, Doctor! There's the mime!"

"Come on, Romana!" the Doctor cried, running across a bridge towards the mime. "Let's see where he takes us this time!"

They hadn't run far when they saw the mime pausing in front of a large set of wooden doors. A neon sign above it read "Sortie", which Romana knew was French for Exit. But before they took another step closer, a bellowing roar rang out and a monstrous creature stormed into view. It was over twice the height of the Doctor and had the face of an angry bull, its sharp horns gleaming in the lamplight. It was dressed in a black-and-white striped shirt, a light belt with a gold key hanging off it and, oddly, a red beret balanced on its head.

"Who dares to invade the sanctum of Taureau the Minotaur?" the creature roared in a deep booming voice, its eyes narrowing in hatred. "You wish to leave? You must answer my riddles three to survive this test!"

Romana gasped in horror at the sight of the creature, but the Doctor just smiled. "Hello, I'm the Doctor, this is Romana and we do so love riddles. What happens if we fail? Do we walk the labyrinth forever?"

"Foolish mortals," Taureau growled, his monstrous mouth watering. "If you fail, we eat you, raw."

The Doctor nodded then turned to Romana. "Well, at least we know now why they keep bringing people here. Why have take-out when you can get it delivered?"

Romana felt scared but hid her fears when she spoke. "And if we win? If we answer all three, what happens then?"

Taureau's eyes narrowed further. "Nobody has ever-"

"I didn't ask if anyone had, I asked what happens."

The bull-creature snorted in anger, and slight resignation. "Well, if it happened, I would be bound to give them the key to the door. Once open, all captives could go free, and we would leave forever."

"How fascinating. Key, you say?" The Doctor eyed the key on Taureau's belt. "And with one, I could get everyone home just by opening a door?" He thought for a moment then he pulled out his little bag and held it up to the Minotaur. "Care for a jelly baby? They're quite good, you know."

The mime stepped forward and took out a jelly baby but Taureau snatched it away with a roar. "ENOUGH! Answer this riddle: Feed me and I live, give me drink and I die. What am I?"

The Doctor frowned and paced around the Minotaur as if thinking of an answer, but Romana seemed confident. "That's easy. It's a Thermortian Sand Worm! Their internal organs turn to sludge when moistened-"

"Wrong! The answer is fire!" Taureau's eyes lit up and his face twisted into a triumphant grin. "And now you're mine!"

The Minotaur made to grab Romana, but the Doctor quickly pushed her aside. "Now, that's rather poor sportsmanship! Romana might not have said your answer, but she did answer correctly. Best out of five, perhaps?"

"SILENCE!" Taureau bellowed. "You have failed! You do not gain the key, and so you cannot stop me devouring you!"

"Ah, that's the problem. You see…" The Doctor smiled and held out his hand. "I did gain the key."

"WHAT?!" Taureau's eyes widened in horror, and the mime's hands flew to his face in shock. Sure enough, the Doctor was holding the key. "But how?"

"You should always check your pockets after a strange man offers you jelly babies." The Doctor gave a cheeky grin. "After all, you never know what he took in exchange."

With an angry roar, Taureau threw out his hand to grab the Doctor, but the Time Lord simply ducked under it and ran towards the door. The mime made to catch him, only to get tripped up by Romana. The Minotaur then caught her arm, but then shots rang out and Taureau roared in pain, letting her go to hold his injured arm. Romana turned and saw that Sergeant de Fontaine was charging round the corner, followed by his loyal grenadiers.

"Cavalry's here, Doctor," she called.

"Hardly necessary now," the Doctor replied, turning the key in the lock. "I'm almost done here."

"No! This cannot be!" Taureau yelled. "The doors cannot be opened!"

"Oh, I'm rather afraid that they can." At that moment, the lock clicked open and the Doctor took hold of the doors with a smile. "Happy New Year!"

And he flung the doors open, letting in a stream of light so bright that Romana had to cover her eyes, but she couldn't block out Taureau's agonized bellow. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Eventually the light faded and Romana looked up, but there was no sign of Taureau or the mime, save for two smoking piles of ash.

At that moment, de Fontaine arrived. "Brigadier-General, is everything alright? We heard the roars and thought you needed assistance." He then spotted the smouldered remains on the floor. "Mon Dieu, what's happened here?"

"That, dear Sergeant, was all that remained of your captors," the Doctor replied. "But now you're free to return to your time. Step through these doors and you'll soon be back with your noble emperor's army."

The Sergeant bowed his head low. "Merci, Brigadier-General. We shall leave immediately." He turned to his men. "Allons-y, my men! Onwards to battle!"

With a great cheer, the soldiers followed their leader through the doors and disappeared.

"Hmm, allons-y," the Doctor muttered. "It's a good word, that. Well, Romana, we'd best head back to our own time too."

Romana nodded and hurried through the doors. But the Doctor paused to look back at the remains of Taureau and his mime minion. "Poor fellow. I rather liked his beret, you know."

As the memory ended, the Doctor opened his eyes and gave a deep sigh. "We never did find out why there was a Minotaur with a beret in the catacombs. Well, apart from asking silly questions and, well, eating people. But I'm sure my scarf was longer than that…"

He waited for a question from Martha, but none came. "Martha? Oh yeah, gone for a stroll."

He sighed and slumped back on the floor. "What's that? 'What happened to Romana, Doctor?'" he asked in a weak impression of Martha. "She did well for herself actually. Until the Time War started."

Suddenly he jumped up like he'd just been stung by a bee and slapped himself in the forehead. "TIME! Why didn't I think of that earlier?"

With that, he snatched up the rucksack and ran off through the museum looking for his companion. "Martha! Martha Jones!"

Unknown to the Doctor, the mysterious watcher was observing them through the images taken from the cameras. He listened grimly as the Doctor caught up with his companion. "Martha!"

"What is it?" Martha replied rather tetchily. "You'll bring everything down on us if you keep shouting like that!"

"Look for a Time Ring!" the Doctor called out. "A bracelet about yay big, usually dull grey and with wibbly-wobbly writing on the side."

"Time Ring, Doctor?" the watcher scoffed. "That's ambitious. But maybe not out of your reach. Better make sure you're too distracted to find it." He pressed a button on the control panel. "Time to release the spiders!"

He watched as, on one of the screens, a door slid open and a large spider skittered out into the museum, its eyes glowing a fierce red and venom dripping from its fangs…

Oh dear, things are starting to get dangerous!