Part Ten:

Xander breathed out a frustrated sigh, not bothering to brush back the hair that fell over his face. Attracting guys was one hell of a job, not easy at all. He had tried the confident walk near four hot guys not two minutes ago, mentally singing I'm Too Sexy to help him play the part, but no one even glanced at him. What the hell did Spike have as a chick that he didn't have?

Maybe Xander wasn't as glamorous and exotic looking as Spike was, but he didn't scream butt ugly either. A wasted middle aged guy so grabbed his butt when he had exited the lady's room for the third time that night.

Xander opened his mouth to yawn but quickly flipped it into a friendly smile when he caught one man glancing at him. His excitement quickly deflated when he realized that the person getting checked out wasn't him but the guy standing behind him.

Damn it! He smacked his hand over his face before his thoughts took another scary track. What the Hell am I doing? I don't want to hook up with a guy!

Xander couldn't believe that he let Spike into his head so easily. This night was a bust the second Spike put him in those deadly heels. He glanced at his watch, it was past midnight. While Cinderella had the stroke of twelve as her curfew, they had to be home before sunrise or there would be one less emasculated man at the Summers' overly female populated abode. And as much as Xander was wound-up by Spike, his misery didn't want to be the only one of its kind in this predicament.

He looked around, hoping to find the particular blond shade in a sea of gorgeous people. There he was, Xander thought frowning. Spike was barely visible for he was surrounded by three shades of men. Xander huffed, looking away only to watch as people began pairing up left and right as they tended to do at this time of night.

Xander's doubts quickly returned. It was true that he had absolutely no interest in meeting men; nevertheless, Spike had all but called him out as a failure and a charity case. It was Spike's idea to have a 'fun night out' after all. Try out our new skin, he said. The girls did say they looked fetching.

Xander grumbled. If he went back to Spike without a man crushing after him, especially after storming off so resolutely, he would be free game for Spike's witty ridicule. And knowing the vampire, he wouldn't waste a second's time in spilling the night's events to the gang tomorrow – retail his triumph and Xander's failures. Xander wouldn't put it past Spike to embellish as well, the evil fiend.

Resolution was reestablished. Xander wasn't doing this because he wanted to do it; he was doing this because he needed to show Spike that he wasn't as helpless as he was made to seem. He scanned the crowd again, searching for the opportune good-looking guy. He finally stopped at a classically looking guy chatting up a tall girl. The man appeared more interested in closing the deal than making a connection.

Maybe Xander should try a new approach.

With confidence in his eyes, Xander made his way to his target. He poked Tall, Dark and Horny on the shoulder. The intent blue eyes turned from the brunette with unattractive blonde-streaks in her hair he was flirting with toward Xander, the man's face a picture of annoyance. He clearly didn't appreciate being distracted from his goal.

"Would you like to dance?" Xander figured the confident girl would appeal to the new age men.

The guy looked him up and down, making calculating eyes between this new girl and the one he had been working on. Xander was close enough to notice that the girl looked really tipsy.

Horny Blue Eyes chose the obvious 'easy' target. "Busy here." He turned away from Xander, making fake apologies to his 'date'.

Xander glared daggers at the two. He gave his mind a mental slap when he found himself actually studying the girl's drunken giggles. He had to stop trying to think like a girl and think like a guy –he was a man in spite of everything.

What did a guy really want?

Xander glanced at his chest and unbuttoned a couple of buttons.

"Oh, Blue-Eyes," he said seductively, doing the hand-on-hip thing that Cordelia had used in high school to drive him crazy.

The guy turned around ready to snap at him to take a hike when his jaw dropped, eyes unable to stare away from the full boobs. Tipsy's rack was no match to Xander's – that was a fact. Work to your strengths, he thought. Xander pushed his chest forward and fluttered his long lashes.

Horny Blue was captivated. He didn't even notice the animated lashes.

"Matt," Tipsy sounded in drunken displeasure.

Xander smiled smugly at her and he did that fancy little catwalk turn toward the bar, swooshing his hips. He breathed a sigh of relief when he accomplished the move without falling flat on his face. He skipped the celebratory goofy grin for without looking behind him, his male mind told him that 'Matt' was hot on his precarious heels, tongue dangling like a hungry dog.

Xander's happiness was short lived because Spike wasn't sitting where he had been before so he could humbly witness Xander's moment of glory. Cursing under his breath, he searched the dance floor. Spike wasn't there either.

He couldn't have left without him. Right?

Xander looked around frantically, where the hell did the bastard disappear to? Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. His heart suddenly jumped when a hand found itself on his hip. Stupid Matt made the matters worse with the way he pushed himself against Xander's back.

Xander's fighting skills instinctively came forth, pushing the horny man away with a selective jab to the ribs. Matt fell back, holding his waist in pain.

"Fucking teasing whore." Matt glared at him only to slip away when people started looking at them strangely. He was most likely rushing in hopes of finding Tipsy, his night might still have a happy ending.

Xander sighed, so much for his moment of gloating glory.

He continued his search for Spike – the one responsible for this mess of a night.

He stopped in his tracks, almost bumping into one of the dancers as his eyes caught a particular sight near the exit. Tattooed Biker Dude was easy to spot in the sea of club goers – but it wasn't recalling what had almost happened earlier that night that had Xander frozen in shock. It was the fact that the buffed up man was dragging a blonde woman outside the club under the cloak of the music and the intoxication. And it wasn't any woman being accosted; it was Spike – who was apparently far too proud to call out for help. The man's meaty hand was a tight grip on Spike's slender arm, unaffected by Spike's struggles.

Spike was clearly pulling back so not to trigger the chip.

The chip!

Wide eyed, Xander ran after them, his heart thumping. This was not happening. He nearly took a tumble as his shoes slipped on something wet, but that didn't slow him down. In mere seconds, he was outside.

He looked around and only saw a couple of drunken kids walking towards the club, laughing over a suspicious looking cigarette. Breathing hard, he almost missed Spike's distinctive curses coming out from a nearby alley.

The moment he reached them, Spike had just broken free from the grabbing hands. He didn't waste any second before swinging a leg at Biker Dude, the pointed kick was succeeded by a duel of anguish screams; Spike's cry engulfed his assailant's. Biker Dude clutched his neck in pain, staggering against the wall while Spike fell to the floor, holding his head and groaning.

"Bitch," Biker Dude snapped, his voice tight from pain. He approached Spike with unsteady steps, his gaze threatening serious hurt.

"Spike!" Xander called, rushing toward them, standing between the large man and Spike. "Leave him alone, pal."

The jerk's eyes fell on Xander's breasts, and a wolfish desire shined in them, his interest shifting to a new prey.

Xander promptly buttoned his shirt and placed his hands on his hips, a challenging stare fixed on his face.

"Want to try me, Gigantor?" Xander held up a bedazzled lip-gloss that Dawn had snuck in his bodice. "One touch would release a rape alarm that would totally catch the attention of those narks posing as potheads outside the club."

The guy only paused a moment. With a snarl, he escaped surprisingly fast for a guy with his bulk.

After making sure that the coast was clear, Xander turned to Spike. "Are you all right?" He looked pointedly at the torn top. "That must not have been a pleasant experience."

"What? Being too irresistible?" Spike scoffed, pushing himself up off the dank ground and shaking his head – something Xander was used to seeing post-chip zapping. "I'm sure you can't relate."

Something in Xander snapped. "Well, that's what you get for showing off." He crossed his arms and forced down the guilt that quickly rose up with him blurting those words. He looked away.

"Harris."

Xander turned and a split-second later, had the pleasure of choking on his heart as Spike's fist made a hole in the wall right next to his head. An inch to the right and Xander missing a penis as well as his failure in keeping up with Spike wouldn't have mattered any more.

Xander gulped. "Message received."

Spike tisked, shaking the rubble off his fist. "You're just too easy." He turned, leaving Xander looking confused.

A sudden moment of revelation hit Xander. "Did you do all that just to make fun of me?" his voiced cracked in anger.

Spike instantly turned around, raising his arms up to the world. "Well, DUH, braintard! You catch up quick," he said derisively.

"Why?" Xander asked desperately.

"Why do you think?" Spike asked, face expressionless.

"You're evil?"

Spike shrugged. "Well, there's that." He titled his head. "But, oh, how about you being the root of my current emasculated predicament?"

Xander gaped.

Spike stalked around the small area. "That steroid junky was a grand closing, wasn't he? Defanged and made into a friggin victimized bint – Angelus would have a ball." He pointed a finger at Xander. "And you're upset that I take you on a stroll? What do you really think?"

"Sorry."

"Huh." Spike blinked, befuddled at the word.

"I'm sorry." Xander held his palms up. "Not for the chip, that you totally had coming. But the – other, it wasn't your fault. Anya did that. Because of me. So, yeah. My bad."

Spike scoffed. He made an unconscious movement that Xander had quickly learned to read as Spike hankering for a smoke, but he was out of luck because he left his duster at home in favor of the tight fitting clothes.

Xander was kind of enjoying seeing Spike left speechless for a change.

Spike growled, sanctioning this win.

"Let's go back before I turn into dust."