Well hello there! I was so surprised about the respone I got to the last chapter, I didnt expect anyone to like it! Seriously, its one of my least favorite chapters, i thought it was a little messy and...unpolished so...SUPER THANK YOU. Gave me some confidence back *shy smile* Anyway, I was inspired to update by two things (besides my moral obligation to my wonderful readers) 1) there were so many reviews and nice things said, i just had to. 2) I read the last chapter of bleach and needed to keep myself busy before i jumped off a ledge. I will not spoil but...the love of my life may...oh god *goes in corner to sob pathetic tears* We wont speak of it, it was too emotional for me so moving on...here is the next chapter: Dangerous Games. Read, Review, Enjoy!
Be warned of another beating to rival the one Toshi got in the first chapter so...yeah.
SavageHunger47- i think those are the hottest undies ever, had to put him in them. i'm so glad you got the thing about the ring, on point with your analysis! So afraid to love him but more afraid to lose him...smh. poor puppy.
Duril93- Hehehehe I'm not telling! you'll have to wait and see what else I've got in store *evil cackle* You are the second person to tell me that song, which i was already thinking of so as of now readers Love The Way You Lie is the second official song of Lock and Key (Still Alive by Lisa Miscovsky is still the first and best, or at least to me).
Breathexfreely- oh I'm sorry, i completely missed the rest of your review because i was busy wonder how you could possibly be doing my soulmate...weird, i think you've got Gin confused with someone else. Lmao. jk! (but no, hes mine. I'm just lying about Toshi, its really me hes madly in love with. in fact we're doing it right now...lol) Glad i could make you scream at your computer, means I'm doing something right!
mylittlenekoshiro- what can i say, you are like one of the best reviewers ever. thank you soo much. i will definately try to make th sequel all angsty and painful, just for you. lol And aww sweetie i didnt mean to give you nightmares! but if that creeped you out...this chapter is just...yeah, read it! lol
kihana94- mwahahah! no one was expecting the surprise-after-sex-attack, its Gin's best ninja move. lol. I loved imagining him mocking Toshi, hes got such a jerk voice when he needs to use it. Once again, I'm not telling, you'll just have to see =D
~~ Dangerous Games~~
Slap!
Slap!
Slap!
Slap!
The wet snap of our skin was projected in the dark room, bouncing back at us off the walls and echoing in my head like a drum. Wet lips and sweaty thighs pressed against each other again and again, my head swirling from the heady sent of Gin. This game we were playing, it was such a dangerous game of cat and mouse and in every scenario I was the pray. The helpless mouse that got cornered and preyed upon like the wretched animal I was. What was so sick about it was that when it all boiled down, I would end up right here; dropped into Gin's hot lap, waiting for my punishment and pleasure but It was so hard to remember if I was mad or ecstatic when he was pounding into me relentlessly.
"Gin" I whispered "Please."
He leaned over my shoulder and gave me a hot wet kiss, sucking on my tongue like he could drink me in. Truthfully, I had no clue what I was begging for; I didn't know what to ask for but I knew I needed something, something to make me feel more secure. It was early in the morning as far as I could tell. A bright glimmer of light had shone on my face when Gin entered the room a while ago but I knew had been here for at least two days. Enraged by my little daring outburst and threat of escaping - once again - Gin had taken measures to make sure I couldn't walk, let alone run. We went to bed on Valentines Day equally hurt, sleeping as far away from each other as possible and I had dreaded the following day. But in the morning, I awoke in a dark room, on a cold cement floor and completely naked. For a minute, I struggled to understand what was going on: until I saw the ropes wrapped tightly around my wrist. They were knotted in an expert fashion and strung my arms up over my head, through the wooden beams above and was holstered by a thick stake drove into the floor a foot out of my reach. I was in the basement.
After a few lonely hours, Gin came with food but never spoke a word, even when I spit it out and demanded he release me. He simply left after that…and returned with the leather belt. No mercy was shown and I was whipped senseless, blubbering the whole way through but refusing to apologize. If I swallowed my pride and begged for forgiveness like a sinner, Gin would continue for a short while, then release me. But my mouth wouldn't form the words even when I knew I wanted to give up. Some part of me needed him to touch me, to make me flinch and squirm so I would know I was still alive. So I could remember that beneath my icy exterior I could still feel. So it continued for god knows how long and after that he left me alone again and hadn't returned until today, touching me softly but still not speaking. Perhaps that's what frightened me most.
"Oh. My….shit. Right there. Faster, please, yes faster!" I panted, rolling my hips downwards.
I was sitting in his lap, back to chest, and ridding him as best I could with my arms stretched so awkwardly. He had pulled me up even higher to settle beneath me and for the most part, put all the work into moving me by slamming me back down onto his hard cock. My toes barely brushed the floor, giving me little leverage to propel myself like I wanted to. Silently, my mouth opened into a scream of shock when I felt sharp teeth bite into the flesh of my neck where it joined my shoulder.
"Fuck! Gin I-I-I'm cumming!" A painful fist suddenly closed around my erection. "N-no! Fuck, just let me cum. Pleasssseeee" I whined thrashing from side to side.
For the first time, he spoke in a deep voice "Yah want ta cum Hime?" I nodded yes at a break neck speed, feeling his smile spread on my shoulder "Yer such a fuckin slut. Where's the control, ne? Just like that yah can spread yer legs and cum fer me, beggin with those soft pink lips." The words rasped harshly and I heard dark laugher in his chuckle.
"Yes, yes. I'm whatever you want me to be. I'd do anything for you Gin. You know that."
A powerful thrust knocked the wind out of me and he grabbed my hips, keeping me grounded on his pulsing member. It was pure torture to sit there balls deep, twitching around him while he held a vice grip on my neglected dick.
"Ahh, so yah say. That is of course, until yah leave me ne? What did you say again Shiro? Come on speak. My minds kinda hazy right now with yah grippin me so tight…" two hands traveled up my chest as he whispered in my ear "such a hot, tight ass. I'm gonna cum in yah again and again till it starts ta leak outa yer mouth. Come on, Hime, wheres all yer fire? Tell me just what yah said the other night."
"…I-I-I said I would leave…" I stuttered out dumbly, turned on and creeped out at the same time "that I would have to find what it is I wanted in life…without you."
"Ne, that's right! My lil' Shiro's got plans made all fer himself… but what the hell about me?" The words ripped out of his throat in a beastly manner. All of a sudden, he picked me up again and was pounding into me for all he was worth, making that echoing slapping sound return again. "What exactly is the plan, ne? Are yah gonna run off all by yerself again, sneak out of mah arms at night ta find these elusive dreams of yers? I thought I was yer dreams, yer future, yer LIFE! O' were those lies fallin from yer pretty lips?"
"Shit, shit, shit! Damnit, Gin you know that's not true! You are my - oh god, yes! - my everything. The only thing I've ever wanted."
"Maybe you'll go lookin for another man. Mah, mah, I bet thats it! Will yah let him fuck yah like this Hime? Do yah want him ta thrust into yah, balls deep, and spread yah so wide, yuh'll still be gappin even after he's shot his load? Ah, what a good whore yuh'll make… 'cause that's all yuh'll be if yah leave me: a nasty, good fer nuthin skank with a stretched out asshole fer anybody ta plow."
By now I was crying, shaking my head no at every word he said. Such nasty, deceitful lies about me spoken with such venom and conviction I almost feared it was true. "I wont do that, how could you-u even think that about me?" I sobbed miserably.
"Eh, how could I not! Yah let me pop yer cherry so quickly - just like any good whore would do - right there on the floor o' mah library! I know yah remember: we've done it outside, in the car, at school, on yer parent's bed…seems like yer never satisfied. If yah leave me, this slutty body of yers wont be able ta go too long without a nice hard fuck," Gin growled, ramming into me and I could feel his balls start to clench up. The knowledge that he was going to cum, all because of me nearly made me scream and even as he said all those horrible things, I still wanted more.
"You. Are. An. Ass! That's such bull and you know it. You want it just as much as me" I moaned, tightening myself around his twitching cock so he would gasp "Every time I see you I want it, any way you can give it to me and that's because its you. Its only ever been for you Gin, because I love you." His grip on my waist tightened at the words and his strokes lost control.
"You love me?"
"Yes!"
"Do you need me?"
"Oh god yes."
"And you'll never fuck anybody else, right! You'll stay with me?"
"Just you, baby never anyone else. Its just us. I love you."
With those words, he jerked again, and I felt the hot streams of cum enter my ass again and again. He hadn't taken his hands off the base of my cock yet, and I was wriggling madly, trying to get off as well. For a second, he leaned against the back of my neck, then slowly pulled out of me with a pop. "Shit, Gin please I want to cum so bad." He didn't answer, but instead lowered the rope so I could lie on my back on the hard concrete ground. Raising my legs and bracing them up with one arm, he dove down, swirling his tongue around my entrance while softly jerking my now purple cock. My head rolled back and I pressed upwards, trying to feel everything at once. Scorching cum dribbled down the back of my legs and I could feel him massaging my balls. Just when I thought I would die from the teasing, he jerked me hard, squeezing the head of my member and jabbed his tongue into my entrance. I didn't even hear myself scream until the sound came back to me, reverberating through my chest and I was crying again, shaking all over. Tiny cuts and bruises must have formed along my back because suddenly it stung to be pressed against the rough texture of the floor. Peering down I saw that I had indeed scraped my elbows and sides.
Gin was kneeling, both hands on my waist and his face pressed into my stomach breathing evenly like he was steadying his heart. As always I crumbled, heart clenching at the gentle image he made; I didn't want to fight anymore. "I'm sorry," I whispered reaching down to run the tips of my fingers through his hair as best my tied hands could "…I'm not leaving you, Gin. I just got angry and confused….There are so many liars in my life who have made me feel so hollow and cold that it scares me when I realize even you are keeping secrets. You're the only person I need, Gin, so don't shut me out… please just tell me whats wrong. I love you."
Surprisingly enough, he looked up at me with an oddly pain expression on his face and a frown; it frightened me. For once, he actually looked sorry, like he was admitting he had done something wrong. "You promised to love me, no matter what. That ring on your finger, it makes you the only real family that I've got now and I've done things in my life that I would never want to do again but with you I know theres someone in the world made just for me, to keep me grounded… Don't leave me…I don't want to be alone in a world like this Toshiro. I…I need you."
I was stunned. My mind spluttered to process what he had just said to me; it was too gentle, too genuine of an answer to think that he was lying. Whatever was weighing on his heart had him scared enough to think I might leave him for good, making his death drip on my heart tighten; but it was only having the adverse effect of making me want to flee even more. In addition, it was rare that he ever made a reference to his family and to think that I held the role of lover, friends and kin all at the same time, it was quite a heavy load. But I would do it for him because so very long ago I had felt the same way, and he'd shown up in a burst of light and made me feel whole. "We're the two loneliest people in the world, right?" I mumbled softly "You said it yourself. So why don't you tell me whats wrong Gin? If you cant tell me, then who can you tell?"
A pregnant pause."…Some things Toshiro," he whispered almost inaudibly "are much better left unsaid. If only things were different, I wouldn't be like this…I could be… a different person for you. But this is all I've got to offer. I told you its hard to love a man like me, and I didn't want to love you…but now its too late to back out."
The closing of his heart - which had barely began to open up to me - was almost audible, like the clang of a brass gate. My lips opened, desperate to call out to him and put an end to this madness, but he got up and walked over to the rope anchor, readjusting it to pull me to my feet again. Then he turned to leave. My stomach dropped.
"W-w-wait! Can't you let me go now? I don't…I don't want to be here all alone Gin." I pleaded, slightly surprised I was still on punishment.
He looked over his shoulder with a blank face "Those words…the idea that you could live without me…I don't want you to even think them, let alone breath those words to me ever again. So, perhaps you should stay here a little bit longer and try to imagine just how dark your life would be without me." Gin turned back to the door and left again and I was plummeted back into a world of darkness.
Apparently, when Gin said "a little bit longer" he meant long enough for me to feel like I was losing my mind. As I waited for his return, vigilantly watching the door, the minutes stretched into hours and then into days. My courage faltered by the time I realized he wouldn't be coming back for me anytime soon. Worse yet, he didn't visit even once with inquires about how I was holding up, soft kisses, or even food. I was utterly alone. On what I assumed was the third day of my exile, he came in and I thought "Thank god! That took long enough, finally hes here to spring me," but I was oh so wrong. I never saw the slap coming until it landed and by then it was too late. Lucky for me, Gin's anger seemed to have returned full force and he was so motivated by it that this visit, he had a new toy: a three tailed thick leather whip. It stung even worse than the belt and the tails were much longer, swinging at full range to curl around my sides when he hit my back or down my chest if he hit my shoulders. No inch of my skin was spared but at least it got the job done faster than the single belt; Gin was pleased as well, his fingers dancing over the red bruises on my skin with delicate reverence. That day, I never heard him leave because I passed out from pain and when I awoke I was alone. Another day passed. He returned again, presumably at evening since a dull gray light had filtered in the door as he entered, and the whole process was repeated again. No more food was brought to me since the first time when I spat it out; I only received water, which he would give to me after the whippings. A little voice in my mind said that the water was probably motivation to keep me awake through the whole thing. If I passed out, there was no water for me to enjoy and he would just pour it over my head.
By day seven, I was completely out of it as the hours became chunks of consciousness sewn together by griping pain from my stomach and the burn in my arms. They had been above my head the whole time and unless I stayed absolutely still, it burned like hell. Gin came in that afternoon, whip in hand but before anything could be done, I opened my cracked lips and rasped "Enough, Gin" and passed out again. Distantly, I heard the quick patter of feet and a heavy thud as the whip hit the floor but I could force my eyes to open. Silence followed until the rope around my wrist slackened and I slipped out of the painful position into cool, wiry arms. After that, everything faded; when I felt myself waking up, I realized I was on something very soft and warm: a bed. My eyes dragged open and I was in our bedroom, the soft golden glow of the dimmed lights making me feel even warmer underneath the heavy quilt. I tried to push the quilt down and move but oddly, my arms felt like wet noodles and the quilt was like moving a wall. Even turning my neck to the side when I heard a silent chuckle was a feat; it was Gin sitting at the side of the bed in washed out blue jeans, a thin green long sleeve shirt and a small smile.
"Mah Mah, look who's awake!" he muttered gently.
My voice cracked as I tried to answer. "H-hey"
"Welcome back. It's been pretty long."
" …How long…w-was I down there?"
"About eight days. Yuh've been sleepin fer two. Yuh had me kinda worried there Hime, yah didn't look so good." he whispered back, watching me critically.
"Well" I sighed, turning away to look out the window "I wonder whose fault that is…" Silence fell over us and I closed my eyes, taking inventory of myself. I felt pretty clean, like Gin had bathed me, and I was wearing one of his shirts and a pair of boxers but my body was mind numbingly sore. Mustering up all my strength and steeling my mind, I pushed back the covers to my knees and sat up against the pillows. I shouldn't have been shocked to see myself but I was; black, blue, purple, gray. That was the repeating pattern twisting across my skin in blob like patches. And my wrist were rubbed raw, a sickening shade of blood red and purple, like I had actually slit them and they were bleeding. Worst of all, I looked deathly frail. I had never been big or muscular but my already small frame thinner and bones I didn't remember looking so pronounced now jutted out like my hips and elbows. It was shocking to say the least. I felt like a stranger in my own body.
"Y-y-you…what did you do to me?" I chocked out more to myself than Gin.
He didn't answer but kept watching me, tilting his head to the side "Yah must be hungry, ne? There's food on the nightstand next ta yah, all yer favorites. Do yah need me ta feed yah, o' do yah think yah can handle it by yerself?"
I looked over at him, fat tears rolling down my cheeks, my arms raised towards him as presented proof "What did you DO to me Gin?" I screeched angrily. "…How far will you go, Gin? What are you going to do when you kill me, huh! What do I have to do to make it stop?"
"Calm down, Hime. Don't make yerself sick, yer gonna have a heart attack at this rate." he said calmly, keeping his voice even like he was in danger of getting angry.
"Get out."
"Shiro, take a deep-" he said, gritting his teeth.
"Get the hell out of here you sick bastard, just leave me alone."
"Damn it Toshiro, don't make a mountain out -"
"GET OUT NOW!" I shrieked, shaking all over. "Get out of here…please just…go away Gin. I need some time…" I sobbed, breaking down and hunching over my knees with my face in my lap. Silence followed until the chair scraped against the floor backward.
"Fine Toshiro. I'll be back a little later. Try to eat, you need the energy." I didn't look up as he left.
I continued to sob, my body rocking from the intensity of it. I was so stupid. Why was I shocked and appalled? Wasn't this what I signed up for when I promised to stay with him, when I told him I loved him? Gin was going to hurt me, that was a fact. Maybe somewhere down the line he would tire of the madness and we could live normally but as of right now, this was how we showed our love. The never ending game of cat and mouse. I run, he pounces. That was the deal; so why was I suddenly overwhelmed with the idea that one day he might pounce and I wouldn't get back up? "Don't be melodramatic Toshiro, Gin wouldn't kill you. He's capable of cruelty and mind games but not murder. He loves you." Love. What a tricky concept. Love was what had gotten me into this situation. I had fallen in love with a man who was beautiful and comforting, who had seemed like a glimpse into the future of what I would become if I continued to live such a lonely life. Love made me stay the first time he slapped me and wretchedly apologized. Love made me stay when he started to plant the seeds of doubt in my mind that I couldn't live without him. Love made me stay when I told him I was leaving him for good and he dragged me back to his house kicking and screaming. I had let things get this out of hand all because I loved him and I couldn't let the best thing that ever happened to me slip through my fingers, but would it be enough when I ended up in a full body sling? "He's never hurt you that bad. In fact, you've never broken anything! You guys do have limits you know; look how he let you out the basement when you told him it was enough! Trust him, Toshiro. Love him…" The little voice in my mind was nagging as I wiped my eyes, picked up the tray filled with food at the bedside and ate, filling my stomach and heart with courage. We could do this, I could take this and he would eventually tell me all those secrets he was trying to beat into my flesh.
Afterwards, when I was full, I decided to test my legs and got out of bed. They were wobbly but sturdier than my aching arms that couldn't seem to stop rippling in discomfort. I left the bedroom in search of Gin - nearly screaming in frustration when I realized he wasn't on this floor - and slowly crawled down the stairs and to the kitchen. The back door was open, a gust of cold wind blowing in. Snatching the nearest jacket I could find, I tip toed onto the sheltered back porch to find Gin staring out into the yard, slouching in one of the wrought iron chairs. He was smoking, something he hadn't done in a while after I badgered him into quitting. As far as I knew he always had a pack at hand, but only lit up when he was very, very upset.
"So you're smoking again," there was an ashtray with three cigarette buds in his lap.
Gin's head whipped to me, frowning " Yah shouldn't be out o' bed Toshiro, o' even out here fer that matter. Its too cold," he himself was still only wearing the green shirt.
"It's okay, I like the cold" I said with a sad smile. Walking over, I moved the ashtray to the floor and sat sideways on his lap to look into his face. We just stared at each other, the cigarette in his hand burning out and the cold air settling to a gentle breeze.
"I love you Toshiro."
"…I know."
"Tell me that you'll stop all these questions, that we can just move on."
I shook my head keeping our eyes locked. "Cant do that Gin. I need to know. I have to know what is that's made you so…miserable. We cant be happy if you're always waiting for the moment I leave you. And it seems like whatever you're hiding is making you even more paranoid."
"Damn it Toshiro," he threw his head back to rest on the chair, looking up at the sky. "It's not that simple. There are things about me that I'm not proud of, that I wish weren't true and as long as you don't know, the better it is."
For a minute I said nothing "Gin, what could be worse than this?" he looked down his nose at me and I raised a bruised arm "Look at me. This is how much I love you, what I'll let you do to me. What could make me question our love more than this?"
He said nothing but looked back up. "I've been…a very, very bad man Toshiro whose done many bad things. For the better part of my life, I had to pretend to be to everyone else what they demanded I be. So for tonight, for me, can we just pretend that I'm just a normal teacher, you're a normal student and that we have a normal love?"
"…Normal…I don't think that word has ever applied to us." He laughed, rubbing my back gently and I closed my eyes. "Take me inside please. I don't think I can make it back there on my own."
He watched me for a minute more then stubbed out the cigarette and hefted me into his arms. Curling into his solid chest, I listened to the quiet thump of his heart against my ears. "Normal. I can do that. Just for tonight I can forget that there's nothing normal about me and even less about you Gin. But in the morning, you'll still be the cat and I'll still be the mouse." Back in the bedroom, I laid down with him spooning me from behind, one hand in my hair. We slept peacefully, or at least I did, but when I woke up I was all alone and still sore. And down the hall, in Gin's private office I could hear him speaking in hushed tones to someone I'm sure I wasn't supposed to know. So I tiptoed out of bed and into our closet. The picture I had found was still hidden, I never really got to get a good look at it and now was a perfect chance. Squinting to decipher his childish scribbling, it read:
M. University on mah first day of college back at the dorms. Don't lose the other picture I sent yah, ne Taicho, cuz yer gonna wanna remember back when yah still looked young. This one's fer me ta keep =D
And on the bottom, it smaller writing, was one name I'd never think to see, the man I assumed was next to Gin in the picture: Aizen Souske.
Hope you guys enjoyed that! Truthfully, i was feeling a little uneasy because i was trying to write new chapters but that mind block came back. I literally spent a day zoned out trying to figure out how i could make everything work and not make it TOO far fetched. Hopefully it worked, but we'll see when we get there. Anywho, special hello to Saya and Hagi together 4 ever ( i love that anime even though i never finished seeing it and might i add, i freakin love your profile avatar) and LockDaisy ( i strive for angst! it makes a story tangible.) I have a feelign you two were 'story prowlers' which is cool but THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing your opinon and reviewing. Till next time lovelies!
Oh yeah, i cant think of any cute reasons for you to review so.. JUST DO IT *add white nike check mark*. it will make me update faster, or havent you noticed =D (i try to update every 5 to 7 days, but dont hold me to it!)