Chapter 10: Solitude

Well, I'm alone, and now I fully regret my decision. They weren't turning on me, yet, so why did I feel the need to run? Shit.

I'm starving as I trek through the forest, heading away from the Cornucopia and the river. I'm still a bit cold, but not nearly as bad as it was for me earlier that night. The dawn sun is just beginning to rise behind me causing the arena to begin to warm up. In a couple of hours we will be roasting like fish on a grill.

My feet ache from walking all night long, so I collapse next to a tree. My stomach grumbles in protest from not being fed, but I refuse to eat the few foods I have. I need to ration it, even if it means starving myself. I'm so hungry, though, that I think about asking for food, surely I have sponsors. But I don't, because Mags should be saving up for something big, not some dingy food that'll keep me going for a couple of days.

I wonder if the Career Pack is waking up now, noticing I'm gone. I think for a moment of what Topaz will think, if she will feel betrayed that I left her behind. But then I shut the thought out, because I'm not playing the nice guy anymore, I'm here to kill.

I feel myself starting to slip into sleep, so I try to find a suitable place to rest. Everything is so open here, except for the trees. Besides that there's nothing much in this forest, except for the vines that hang on those trees. Vines. Wait, vines!

I jump to my feet and scramble up onto the branches of the tree behind me. I reach up and yank at a tangle of vines that comes down willingly. I settle down on the ground and begin weaving, my hands working like crazy. After about an hour I have an intricate net ready for my disposal. I set it down below the branch that I will sleep on and scramble up the tree.

Finally I have a protected place to sleep, and the other vines will hide me from view. I try to make the branch as comfortable as possible by taking my knife and smoothing it out. Finally I settle down and fall into a restless sleep…

I'm woken up by a scream of alarm. I jump and flash open my eyes. I move the vines in front of me away as I see one of the tributes hanging in the air, supported by my net. So it did work.

Then I notice that it's Thorn, the boy tribute from District 11. He's struggling to get out, but I made it so that they wouldn't be able to tear through it without a weapon. He is weaponless, his sword lying on the ground below.

Now's my chance, to kill him once and for all. I feel that twinge of guilt and the horrible need not to kill. But I push it away, you have to learn how to kill in the Hunger Games. But what do I kill him with?

I glance at my weapons beside me. I have two spears, a sword, and three knives. Well, I could do well with the spears, but then I'd only have one left. The knives might get caught in the webbing, and I'm certainly not going to loose my sword. That's when I see a silver parachute glide down beside me.

It's large, and by the size and shape of the box it looks like it might be a sword. But no, when I open the black box instead I see a trident. A beautiful, golden, trident, very similar to the ones I used at home. It's my weapon, and I know Mags gave it to me for a reason.

I smile to myself before taking the trident in my hand. I weight it carefully as Thorn thrashes in the net. It's the perfect weight for me, not too heavy but not too light. It could easily kill Thorn, and it would be long enough so that I could get it back by just reaching over. Perfect.

So I reach back, and that twinge of guilt sparks inside me again as I release my trident and it goes scoring through Thorn's body. It goes right through his chest and his attempts to get out end quickly, almost immediately, once it hits his body. His cannon goes off and he's officially dead.

I reach over, hanging on to the tree for dear life, as I yank my trident out of the boy. I slip my sword and knives under my belt and grab my spears. I think about ditching my spears, but it wouldn't be good if I lost them, because what if I lost my trident? So I carry them with me as I struggle down.

The sun is high above now, signaling that it's noon. I'm already sweating and the extra guilt from killing Thorn doesn't help either. But I move on through the forest. I don't know where I'm getting at, just walking in one straight direction, but still the arena has to end somewhere. Maybe I'll find something I can use back there, like Haymitch Abernathy did in his Games. I remember watching re-runs of it when I was younger.

I try to look as strong as I can while sipping my water. I'm loosing water quickly, and I know I have to find a source soon. But what if the river is the only source? Maybe it's a tool from the Gamemakers to drive us together? No, it's impossible. The other Tributes would be dead by now because of the Career Pack.

And while I'm processing all of this, I barely even notice when the leaves on nearby trees shimmer. I freeze, though, when I do notice. I raise my trident and look around, trying to find who ever is there. I don't dare call out as I stalk near the tree. Suddenly, I feel some clasp around my neck.

I scream in surprise, but the scream gets no where because of the reduced oxygen I'm getting. I fall from the yank at my throat and I realize that something is wrapped around my neck. It feels like a whip and the chokehold keeps getting stronger.

From all I know about this, the only thing I do know is to keep still. But the low amount of oxygen getting to my brain is making me go fuzzy and I can't think straight. In one, last, desperate attempt I reach back my trident behind me, hoping to hit a vital area.

I didn't hit a vital area, but it was good enough. I hear a sharp exclamation and I feel the whip release from my throat. I fall flat on the ground, taking in loud breaths as I struggle to get my air back. I suddenly realize that I haven't had another attack on this person. Did I kill them? No, they would've been dead by now.

So I turn around, still on the ground, and come face to face with Lily. Damn, why does this girl keep showing up? She looks surprised that it's me and she's clasping her left arm which has a deep cut in it, probably from my trident.

"Finnick!" She gasps, "I…I didn't know it was you!"

I narrow my eyes, wondering if I should play along with this. I saved her life once, but that was back in the beginning. I won't be giving her any mercy. So with that I back up and raise my trident. She realizes this too and, with her good arm, takes a sword in her belt.

I look at what she has, maybe if I kill her I can get some good stuff. She has a couple of swords and one whip, obviously. Then she has a green backpack around her shoulders which is possibly carrying food and water or anything else. It's then that I realize that she looks healthy. She doesn't look dehydrated, starved, or badly wounded, just sweating from the heat. How has she carried this off?

"I swear," She says, panting a bit, "I thought you were someone else, and you can't blame me you're with the Careers."

"No," I say slowly, "I'm not. I left."

"Oh," She murmurs and then she drops her weapon, "Go ahead and kill me then anyways. You saved my life once, you won't have to do it again."

I'm just about to kill her, and I have reached back my trident, but then I stop. Because when I look at Lily, with her eyes the color of lilies and her hair, a soft golden color also that is held back in a pony tail, I see the girl I trained with. I see the girl who I helped make those snares with. And most of all, I see the girl who's determined to win so that her baby brother or sister will never know the feeling of hunger.

All of this makes me lower my weapon, because she doesn't deserve to die, especially not at my hands. I'll never be able to live with that. And she's around my age too, we're one of the youngest ones. She must be smart to be able to be so healthy in the Games with such limited water, and she's lasted a long time on her own.

She lowers her arms as I say, "I can't kill you, you damn girl."

Then we both start laughing.

"Thanks," She murmurs, "I appreciate it."

"How about allies," I suggest, "better with the both of us alive and doing well then killing each other, right?" I flash her a small grin.

"How can you joke about something like this?" She asks me, shaking her head, but then says, "Deal."

We shake on it as she settles down to open up her pack. I realize that it's filled with fruits and berries I had not been able to find and there's two bottles of water in it too. Then she pulls out a first aid kit that must've come with the pack. She wraps a bandage around her arm before handing me a bottle of water.

"Here, you look parched," She says, her quiet voice kind and helpful.

"Thanks," I take it and say, "I'm not used to such little water here."

"I can tell," She nods as I sip the water, forcing myself to be slow.

After a little while she shoves everything in her pack and stands up. "Come on," She tells me, "I'll show you where my camp is."

I nod and follow her. We walk for a little bit until we come to a pond. I sigh in relief, thanking myself for being allies with Lily. I would have never found this and I would've died with dehydration. The vines are more abundant here and there are actually some plants growing around too. The pond is crystal clear and you can almost see to the bottom, and there's fish here too.

"If only we could bake the fish," I sigh, now wishing for the constant meals of fish my mother feeds me back at home.

"There's not much to start a fire with," She agrees as she settles down.

I realize that Lily is a quiet girl and we don't talk much as I start making a bed out of the vines that hang in the trees. She can swim, obviously, as she wades in the water to cool off. What surprises me the most is how kind she is to the fish and even the animals that come by so often. I see them as a food source, but she obviously sees them as a friend.

"Are there many animals in District 11?" I ask her as I finish with my bed and go onto a snare.

"Oh yes," She nods as she gets out of the pond, "There are many."

"Like what?" I ask, trying not to show my slight frustration at how she never really explains things.

She settles down next to me as her lily-colored eyes sparkle with a new sensation. "There's some mockingjays that love to sing in our fields that we work on. Then in the forests there are so many different types of animals it's hard to name all of them."

"Sounds like a nice place," I murmur, thinking about how it must be like to live in District 11.

"It is," She whispers as she tucks her legs up to her chest, "It's a wonderful place."

We have small chatter from then on, and I get her to laugh a couple of times as I joke around. By night time we're both exhausted and eat some berries while we look up at the sky. There was only one death today, and that death was Thorn. I hear Lily sigh and I wonder how much she knew Thorn, since they came from the same districts. I don't bother telling her that I was the one who killed her District partner.

I offer to take the first watch as Lily settles down to sleep. I rest my head on my blanket of vines as I try to stay warm in the coldness of the night. My breath swirls around me as I see it disappear into the night air.

I think about Topaz and the Careers and all the other Tributes, dead or alive. I think of the boy from District 9, dead before I even knew his name. Then I think about Devan and the District 5 boy. Then Thorn comes, my most recent kill. I feel the amount of guilt grow as I think of all of them, and I wonder faintly what their families must think of me. I don't go too far on that subject though.

I wake up Lily somewhere during the middle of the night. She takes watch as I fall asleep. I'm restless again, seeing the faces of those I killed in my dreams. When I wake up, I'm sweating and I know it's not just from the heat.

"Nightmares?" Lily looks at me as she comes from a nearby bush, berries in hand.

She gives them to me as I say, "Yeah." I pause as I eat a couple of berries before saying, "Do you think they'll ever go away?"

Lily looks at me, her golden eyes speaking the real truth as does her voice. "No," She says, "Unless we die, we will always be haunted by the Games and everything about it."