Surviving Death
I'd said it before but I'll say it again:
I was never a religious person.
And I never understood the point of religion in general.
Why would people search for a meaning to life in something that came from human imagination?
Why couldn't they just be happy knowing that they live because they were alive?
Was it because of our innate selfishness? Our subconscious belief that we're the center of our own worlds?
Well, it would account for why people believe that some entity watches over their every move, I suppose…
But maybe it was because of the despair that threatened to envelop me upon realizing…
…upon realizing that I had nothing left.
Yes, I had my life.
Yes, I was still alive.
Yes, I could continue to live.
But…
Can it still be called living when there's no one to share that joy with…?
Standing on the cliffside, I gazed out at the vast blue sea, watching as it glistened under the sunlight though its beauty was lost on my fraught mind. This was where I'd spread Papa's ashes after dragging his body with me and using the techniques that he'd taught me to cremate him. This was where Mama's remains had been set free so that she may enjoy what she'd loved back when she was alive.
Even though they've most likely reincarnated in another world as you did, my mind whispered traitorously, Or perhaps this truly is the result of your perverse mind.
I shook off the thought but couldn't rid myself of the chill in my heart.
Insanity, I couldn't help but quote R.D. Laing, A perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
Because I knew not what was true anymore.
Then again…
I smiled bitterly.
Did I ever know the truth?
Or was reality truly an illusion?
09: Ethereal Peace
What a nice day…
Leaning against the table, I peeked through the awning to gaze up at the bright blue sun and fluffy white clouds.
It had been some time since the completion of my time-sensitive mission and Tsukasa's subsequent recovery from smallpox.
Currently, I was chilling at a random but quaint tea house.
…can't believe I fainted though.
Snorting a bit in remembrance, I chomped down on my stick of dango and chewed noisily, simply enjoying the peaceful ambiance of this small village.
What should I do next?
I wasn't in any particular hurry to get a move on and I was pretty much welcomed to just stay at Yoippari but such a sedentary lifestyle was…difficult to get into now that I'd been traveling for five years and counting.
Maybe north?
There had been word of an insurrection group forming against Oda's conquest and I vaguely remembered a small blue-haired girl wielding a giant hammer…
Who was she again…?
My head throbbed a bit before I sighed, discarding my attempt to remember and sipping at my green tea. It was a bit weak.
Oh well, I guess I'll find out if I–
Abruptly tensing, I tightened my grip around my cup as my feathers bristled in agitation.
…?!
Lost in thought, I hadn't realized just how eerily quiet it had become.
Where did everyone go…?
Slowly standing up, I felt a chill descend over me and discreetly reached for the tanto that I'd hidden under my yukata.
My chakra stretched out as far as I could–
Something's wrong…
–and I felt a strong chakra signature making its way slowly here.
Narrowing my eyes, I concentrated on it–
…sharp, beckoning, cool, flaring, ashy…
–before freezing when the cold kiss of a blade rested against my pulse.
Who–?!
Even concentrating my chakra behind me, I still couldn't sense anyone nearby and my heart pounded relentlessly.
How could I have been caught so easily?! Fear grappled my mind. How could I have let down my guard?
I wasn't held down, wasn't tied up, and yet I just–
Couldn't–
Move…!
Am I going to die again…?
A puff of warmth ghosted my neck, ruffling my hair, before I saw a vaguely familiar figure appear before me.
He was a tall, middle-aged man with black hair pulled into a high ponytail that fanned out in a circular manner. Gray stripes lined either side of his head and he had strange facial hair on each of his cheeks. His color scheme reminded me of Cruella de Vil from 101 Dalmatians.
Dark eyes trained on me and his lips quirked up into an aloof but distinctively amused smile before he hummed,
"So this is the infamous Dorobo-taka…"
I blinked as surprise dulled my anxiety a bit.
"Thieving hawk"…?
Somehow, I had the feeling that whoever coined my new…alias…was trying to play off of dorobo-neko, or cat burglar.
The samurai in front of me gestured a hand and the pressure on my neck eased.
I immediately backed away, tightening my grip on my hidden weapon and facing them, before my eyes widened and I faltered.
Kotaro Fuma…!?
And there he was, the legendary ninja whom I could never hope to match–not even if I were to catch him off guard from the very start.
A bead of sweat trailed down my face.
Shit.
I was cowed.
There was no killer intent, no malign feelings, no sickening emotions.
And yet I was cowed.
What do I do now…?!
Nothing, my mind whispered traitorously, He could kill you before you even get one step away.
Pain pricked my hands, informing me that my grip was too tight.
The samurai chuckled softly, silkily, coldly and stepped towards me, raising a hand to trail a finger along my chin before cupping my cheek.
He leaned forward and whispered,
"Boo."
I flinched and instantly felt disgusted with myself.
Calm the fuck down, Kira!
Grinding my teeth together, I glared at the man and he backed away with an infuriatingly smug smile and familiarity continued to tug at me as I dug deep into my scattered memories of Before.
Who are you?
I asked silently as irritation brewed within me from trying so hard to remember and my eyes narrowed into slits–
…someone…someone who's employed Fuma…who's a total bastard…
–before a jolt shot through my mind and I had to fight to keep myself from reacting physically.
"Hisahide Matsunaga," I uttered, barely keeping the anger out of my voice, "Why are you here?"
His smile made me want to stab him as the man circled around me, speaking deliberately politely but undeniably mockingly, "Dorobo-taka, I have a proposition for you…"
Already, I knew I wasn't going to like this conversation.
"And what, pray tell," I asked as calmly as I could, "Makes you think that I'm this…'Dorobo-taka'?"
A chuckle of clear amusement left his lips. "Dorobo-taka, infamously known for stealing five selfishly guarded treasures from five equally devastating warriors, would have to be one of great skill." His dark eyes flashed. "Perhaps a ninja, perhaps not." He trailed his eyes over my form. "But why else would the poison not affect you?" I stiffened in alarm.
Poison?!
And it was then that I realized why I'd felt that something was so wrong.
My chakra…!
Like a limb that fell asleep, it was numb.
I could still use it, could still manipulate it, but the feeling had dulled exponentially.
So that's why I couldn't sense Fuma before…
Enough time had passed for my chakra to burn out most of the poison, allowing me to feel, however fuzzily, his chakra: lavender, spicy, sweet, ticklish, muffled…
"It's an interesting concoction my minion made," Matsunaga continued speaking airily, "Anyone untrained would be rendered useless for several hours and yet here you stand…"
The weakened civilian signatures that brushed against my revitalizing senses told me that they'd been drugged as well.
"That still doesn't explain," I pointed out, keeping my eyes on him, "Why you think I am the 'Dorobo-taka' when I could merely be lucky."
His lips widened into a sly grin. "Ah, well, let's just say a little…birdie told me about you."
I bristled as my mind raced with the implications found in his tone.
"…And if this 'little birdie' is wrong?" I asked.
He chuckled, "Cautious, aren't you? Well, that's not a bad thing to be."
A snap of his finger and Fuma flickered to his side with a familiar kanji-embroidered white cloak and my eyes widened without meaning to.
"As you can see," Matsunaga gestured to the article, "I met with your employer."
But I never revealed my face…!
Dread crept up on me.
How did that person even know…?!
"An interesting man, he is," the samurai murmured, "Not one I'd want to take under my wing however."
I wanted to play it off, wanted to continue pretending that I didn't know what he was talking about, but the hard glint in Matsunaga's eyes and the deceptively relaxed stance of Fuma made me do otherwise.
"What exactly is this…proposition?"
The words tasted like acid on my tongue.
Matsunaga smiled in triumph and folded his hands behind his back, speaking cooly, "Stealing from four warlords and one lauded warrior is no small feat."
Briefly, I wondered why he didn't say five warlords before remembering that Sanada had yet to gain that status.
"Indeed, the skills required to accomplish that is extraordinary," he praised hollowly and paused at my deadpan before stating clearly, "I wish to employ your services."
Resisting the urge to reject him immediately, I glanced over at the immovable ninja and spoke slowly, "You have the legendary ninja, Kotaro Fuma, under your command," my eyes narrowed suspiciously, "Why hire someone of lesser skill?"
"True," Matsunaga agreed, "I have heard of your less-than-victorious clash against Takeda and Date," I resisted the urge to twitch in remembrance, "However, the fact remains that you were able to escape with your objective."
I remained silent and he continued, "Despite your lacking offensive capabilities, your stealth and thieving skills may very well surpass his…"
Doubtful, I frowned and thumbed the hilt of my hidden tanto thoughtfully before stating bluntly, "And if it was merely luck? It's unlikely that I'll be successful a second time."
His smile sent chills running up my spine and my heart felt like it was slowly being squeezed.
"Are you turning down my request then?" he asked as apprehension coiled in my guts, "What a shame… Perhaps I can ask that bartender to refer me to another? I haven't visited Yoippari in a while after all."
A jolt of fear shot through me because I could hear the threat in his voice.
Tightening my grip, I pursed my lips and his grin widened.
"I see you understand," Matsunaga chuckled and turned to leave, "As of current, the…anti-Oda alliance," here he sneered a bit, "Have retreated to Kai," he smirked again, "I simply ask that you retrieve Takeda's Shieldless Armor."
The taste of iron was bitter.
"Do meet me at Todai-ji on the night of the next full moon…"
They vanished in a flurry of black feathers and I kicked the dirt floor in anger and self-loathing.
Why can't I be stronger?
Because now both Fukuro and Tsukasa were in danger…
Damn it…!
…and I was at the mercy of a sadistic bastard.
Fuck my life.
GN: I think I'll take a break from writing for a while. Hopefully, it won't another two-year hiatus like before in order to recover my motivation but... Sometimes, real-life worries can wear out a gal, y'know? So, I hope this chapter will entertain y'all until my return. Do take care~...
Disclaimer: Sengoku Basara © Capcom; Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto; Kira and all other original concepts © me