Chapter Ten: A Lack of Sobriety

Tavros found himself planning to attend another party about a week later. Feferi was hosting a get-together for New Years. Tavros was nervous, hoping he would finally get another kiss from Vriska. He was determined to be her midnight kiss, as awkward and overwhelming the idea felt. His relationship with Vriska was… bittersweet at best. Lukewarm? Vriska was on and off, and she'd been hanging all over John lately, something that Tavros found himself feeling almost angry about. He wasn't one to get jealous, but he honestly couldn't help it. And he wasn't even sure if he really liked Vriska, because she was a bully, or if he just stuck around because she never outright rejected him. The whole thing was very confusing. Tavros' Pesterchum went off.

terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering adiosToreador

TC: yoooooo

TC: what the motherfuck is up my brother?

TC: you gonna be fucking kicking it at fefs motherfucking party tonight bro?

AT: oh, yeah, im gonna head over there soon

TC: better fuckin beat johnbro here

TC: get some fuckin time with vris before shes all motherfuckin tangled up in all his goddamn words and motherfuckin shit

TC: motherfucker's got a way of makin her laugh

AT: can we maybe not talk about that?

TC: sorry bro, didnt mean to hit a motherfuckin sensitive spot

AT: it's alright

AT: I mean

AT: i want to be vriska's midnight kiss

TC: motherfuuuuuuck bro

TC: youre gonna fuckin go for it bro?

AT: should i?

TC: hey dont fuckin look at me all funny like that for motherfuckin advice

TC: i cant even get all my own motherfuckin shit together bro

TC: tonights my last fuckin hurrah with the drugs and shit motherfucking gotta quit for new years and shit

TC: kurloz is quitting too so i wont even have motherfuckin access to the shit

AT: oh

AT: well thats a good thing, right?

AT: you know that stuff is, uh, bad for you

TC: man don't you motherfuckin start lecturing me too bro

TC: why dont we just fuckin slam about it

AT: ahahhhh, shall i

AT: cue up the

AT: strict beats?

TC: awwww brother now you all fuck and up and done it

TC: you are fucking wheel deep in a big sloppy massacre pie topped with motherfucking whipped rhyme

TC: how strict are those beats at, motherfucker?

AT: well, i,

AT: turned up those bitches to pretty stern,

AT: set beats to lecture, and, i'm kind of going hog wild on the curmudgeon knob

AT: which i had recently installed

TC: god damn!

TC: tell me more while i get my reach on for this frosty brew

AT: okay

AT: imagine an array of beats that set limits

AT: they got a rulebook, it doesn't pay to skim it

AT: because, there's not a lot of latitude

AT: they won't stand for an attitude

AT: and crossing them's a habit you'd

AT: (not really want to get into because, uhhhh),

AT: they'd get pretty mad at you,

TC: fuuuuuck, so fuckin fresh

TC: you need to be slapped fuckin silly with a mouth like that! haha

AT: and if you got a problem with it,

AT: then i suggest you go and rap it, dude

TC: ok i will

TC: wait shit
AT: oh is it,
AT: your dad?
TC: yeah i gotta motherfuckin go
TC: see ya later bro
AT: yeah,
AT: sure

terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering adiosToreador

Tavros scrolled down his chumroll, not really sure why he did so. Maybe he was procrastinating, because he was so nervous about Feferi's party, and nervous about trying to kiss Vriska again. There was her handle; she was online. Tavros bit his lip. He didn't want to butt into something that wasn't his business, especially with Vriska, but he couldn't help but remember the way she'd talked to Aradia at the Christmas party. Just as Tavros prepared to type a message, one appeared on his screen.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling adiosToreador

AG: Heeeeeeey, Tavros
AT: ummm, hey, vriska
AT: funny you messaged me
AT: i was about to talk to you
AG: Oh reaaaaaaaally?
AG: What would you want to talk to little ol' me about?
AT: well, I, uh
AT: thought about the way you were teasing aradia on Christmas
AG: Ugh, that emotionless automaton?
AT: hey, aradia is my friend
AG: Whatever.
AT: anyway, i think you kind of…
AT: might be pushing friends away with your attitude?
AG: Wow, Tavros, what the fuck?
AT: i just mean
AT: some of the things you say are kind of harsh
AT: i'm not saying it to be mean
AG: Yeah, I know, you're saying it because you're my friend, and you don't want to see me isolate myself. Whatever, Tavros, don't tell me how to live my life.
AT: i, uh, didn't mean it like that
AG: Then how did you mean it?
AT: i dunno
AT: uh, sorry
AG: You should be.
AT: anyway…
AT: what were you messaging me about?
AG: Just wondering if you're not so much a lame-ass that you'd bail on Feferi's party.
AT: i was planning on going
AT: if that's what you mean
AG: Alright, then, Tavros
AG: See you l8r :::;)

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering adiosToreador

Tavros groaned. Vriska was easily the master of mixed messages and Tavros hated himself for always buying into it. Why did he even like her? What… Tavros looked back at his computer screen, Vriska's last message taunting him. What did the winky face mean? Tavros was pretty sure that Vriska was more interested in John at this point. Not that the fact was going to stop Tavros from trying. It reminded him of what Rufioh said about pretending to be confident. It hadn't gone well with Jade, but maybe if Tavros didn't draw so much attention to that false confidence… It would be fine, Tavros told himself, and he kept telling himself that until he got to the party at Feferi's house.

Feferi opened the door, beaming as she usually was, and she knelt down to hug Tavros.
"Tavros! It's so good to see you!" she said, smile never fading.
"Hey, Fef," Tavros said, much less excitement in his voice than in hers. "You say that like I haven't seen you in forever, but it's only been a few weeks."
"I know, it's just that… I'm excited, that's all!"
"Yeah… weird, that your mom lets you throw parties so much."
"She's out of town for work a lot. Besides, she says it's good to be social, she says it's good practice for networking."
"Networking?"
"My mom has it in her head that I'm going to take over the family company since it's pretty clear to all of us that Meenah has no intention of taking it."
"So you will?" They began walking as they talked.
"Well, I'm not opposed to it. I'll have to change some policies, of course."
"You sure seem to have your life figured out already. Doesn't it seem a little early to have everything planned out? We're only… 14. That's still being a kid, right?"
Feferi sighed, and it was probably the first time Tavros had ever seen her without a smile on her face.
"I guess I just don't have that luxury," she said, a twinge of sadness in her voice, but she quickly shrugged it off, and her smile took up her face again in an instant. "But don't let me keep you, Tavros! Enjoy the party!" And she was off to refill snacks. Tavros glanced around the room. The first thing he noticed was that Vriska and John could not have been sitting further apart. Did something happen between them? It didn't matter, Tavros thought, grinning. That meant Vriska would be all his tonight. He hoped.
Tavros rolled his chair over to Vriska.
"Hey, Vriska," he said, still smiling wide.
Vriska looked up from her phone at him. "Oh, heeeeeeeey, Tavros. What's with that stupid grin? You look like you won the fucking lottery. Which is impossible, 'cause it implies you winning."
Tavros' smile fell. Shit. She was in a bad mood. "I was just saying hello?"
"Yeah, well… ugh. Whatever." 'Whatever' was what Vriska said when she couldn't think of a snarky comeback. Tavros backed up a bit.
"Sorry, uh, for bothering you."
"Hey, it's all good," Vriska said, her voice now much softer. Tavros got the feeling she was just as confused about what they even were as he was. Great. "Just got to remind you who's really in charge of the relationship here."
Tavros furrowed his brow, not sure whether to frown or smile. "R-relationship?"
Vriska grinned that devious Vriska grin. "Please, Tav, you know you and I have always had something." Tavros looked at Vriska, who was drawing closer, and caught her eyes flutter up to John, then turned to look at John himself. John frowned, blushing a little bit, then turned away, focusing on whatever Dave and Jade were trying to talk to him about. Tavros got the distinct feeling he was being used. God dammit. Something in him just broke. It clicked in his mind how emotionally manipulative Vriska really was, and he finally realized he didn't actually want any part in it. He backed up his chair a little more, prompting Vriska to look at him with confusion in her eyes. He shot a fake smile at her, then vaguely gestured towards Gamzee, who was lurking at the punch bowl, while sputtering something about having to talk to him.

Gamzee looked up as Tavros approached him. Tavros felt panicked; he wasn't entirely sure why. Gamzee just smiled, blithely unaware of anything that was going on around him.
"Hey bro!" Gamzee said, obviously still indulging in the fact that New Years' had not yet passed, and he could, without breaking his resolution, smoke weed. "What the motherfuck is up?"
"I… I don't know what to do about Vris- is that vodka?" Tavros asked, only just noticing the bottle in Gamzee's hand.
"Yeah, thought I'd liven this party up a bit, brother, and motherfuckin' spiked punch never fails."
"H-how did you even get that? No, it doesn't matter. Gamzee, we can't drink, we're like, 14."
"You ain't gonna tell anybody, are you, bro?"
There was something vaguely threatening about the way Gamzee said that. Tavros felt something sick in his gut for a moment, but let it pass.
"No," Tavros muttered.
"A'ight, cool," Gamzee said, back to his loose, smiling self. "So, what did you wanna fuckin' talk about bro? Vriska? Thought you were gonna kiss her tonight." Gamzee winked at Tavros.
"Yeah, but, see, that's what she wants. She's using me now to make John jealous."
"Whoaaaaaa, motherfuck, man."
"Yeah…"
"So… you're free, for a midnight kiss then?" Gamzee said, waggling his eyebrows, insinuating… well, something. Tavros grimaced, but still blushed a little bit.
"I don't… I… fuck, Gamzee, give me a glass of that spiked punch."
Gamzee looked absolutely baffled for a moment, then with a chuckle, finished dumping the entire bottle into the punch, and poured Tavros a cup. "Watch it, bro, vodka can be motherfuckin' harsh," Gamzee said, though he was sure to keep his voice down. Tavros took a sip, feeling the burn a little bit in the back of his throat.

Tavros found himself returning to the drink table more than once, not even minding the taste after a while. Karkat was the one who caught on to Gamzee when he went to get a glass of punch, though it wasn't until after Tavros had drank at least three.
"Why's this taste weird?" Karkat asked, looking down at his cup, a frown set deep into his face. Gamzee snickered, leaning against a wall nearby. Karkat looked from the cup, to Gamzee, back and forth a couple of times, before throwing the punch in Gamzee's face. "You piece of shit! You spiked the goddamn punch!" Karkat yelled. Gamzee kept laughing, disregarding the sticky drink dripping down his face.
"No wonder Tavros looks worse than usual," Vriska sneered. Tavros didn't even care at that point. He was, amazingly, the only one who had even gone for the punch, and therefore, the only one having sobriety problems. It was nearly midnight at that point, and Tavros was sitting a bit too close to Vriska again. He looked down to find her hand on his knee. He laughed a bit too loudly when he realized, knowing she'd probably been trying to get his attention for a while, but he hadn't been able to feel it. As the countdown commenced, Vriska invited herself to sit in Tavros' lap, in the wheelchair. Tavros laughed again.
"Waht're you doin'?" Tavros slurred.
"I was gonna kiss you at midnight, you drunk fool."
"Ahah!" Tavros said, shifting his arms to push Vriska off of him. She stood, very awkwardly, and looked around, everyone looking back. Tavros was completely unaware of the attention he was drawing to them. "I, uh, no. Nnnno," Tavros kept slurring, gesturing widely with his arms. "You don' wanna kiss meeee, you! Jus' wanna make… John… jealous." Vriska blushed bright red, looking over in a panic at John. "An anyway! I don' think I wannaaa kiss you, anymore. You're uhhhh, a mean. Person. You are mean to me. I don' like it. And if I haaaad to geuss, I don' think that, uh, mister John likes it very much, either. I know… most of us? Don't like it either. And uh, that's just. Sad. Vriskers. That most of us don't really like you? You're… too mean, eheheh. Gamzee! Can I have anudder drink?"
Most of the friends were silent, all except Gamzee, who was laughing wildly.

Tavros woke up the next morning with an amazingly bad headache. He remembered… most of the night. He remembered saying a lot of things to Vriska, just before midnight. That was the last thing. In the time since then, someone put him on the couch to sleep… wait. There were someone else's arms around him. They were spooning. The other person snored- Gamzee. That was… weird. Tavros didn't want to shift around too much, partially because Gamzee was still asleep, and partially because his head was spinning. His stomach churned, and he knew he needed to move. He woke Gamzee up as fast as he could, but it didn't matter. Tavros threw up on Feferi's mom's new rug.

His head was still spinning by the time his mom came to pick him up. Tavros tried to act normal, as he didn't want to get anyone else in trouble. Though he doubted it would matter. He was the only one who actually drank. As soon as Tavros got to his computer- the screen was making his headache worse- he saw unread messages from Vriska.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began pestering adiosToreador

AG: Tavros!
AG: You want to tell me what the F8CK that was all about?
AG: You're a goddamn embarrassment
AG: I can't believe you got w8sted and SAID all that shit
AG: In front of EVERYBODYYYYYYYY!
AG: Was your goal to humiliate me?
AG: Make me look like an idiot?
AG: Because NEWSFLASH!
AG: It doesn't matter what you said, because you were fucking DRUNK!
AG: Why were you even drinking?
AG: I bet you knew there was shit in the punch
AG: Don't think we didn't all see you in the corner whispering to Gamzee.
AT: wow
AT: hi, vriska
AT: don't think im not paying for drinking
AT: my head really fucking hurts
AG: Serves you right, dumbass.
AT: but um
AT: i don't think what i said to you was wrong?
AG: Excuse you?
AT: i mean
AT: blunt? Yes
AT: but…
AT: i don't think i'm really romantically interested in you
AT: and i don't think you are or have been in me, either
AT: i stand by what i said last night
AG: You really think all our friends hate me?
AT: …no….
AT: but i do think you were using me to make john jealous
AT: and i don't think it would make a difference
AG: Maybe you're right, Tavros
AG: Maybe I just don't know how to be nice.
AT: wow….
AT: really?
AG: Maybe?
AG: I don't know.
AG: I have to go.

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering adiosToreador

Vriska didn't talk to Tavros for the rest of break, even going so far as to ditch English class. Though, she'd been doing it before break, so Tavros doubted it had to do with him. He saw Aradia get up about ten minutes before class ended.
"Where're you going?" he asked.
"I have something to deal with," Aradia murmured before leaving. The way she said that gave Tavros such an ominous feeling.
As it turned out, Tavros was right. When class got out, Tavros entered the hallway to find a crown forming. He made his way towards the front of whatever they were crowding around, and doing so, found Aradia standing over Vriska, who was on the ground, bleeding and clutching her prosthetic. Aradia glanced at Tavros, who looked from her to Vriska, before Aradia left the scene. The crowd began to disperse, but Tavros stayed. He helped Vriska off the ground to the best of his ability.
"Come on, I'll take you to the nurse," he said, pulling the wounded girl into his chair. She was clinging a little too tightly for Tavros to really feel comfortable, but he didn't want to make things any worse.

"Why are you helping me?" she asked.
"Jeez, Vriska, just because I don't want to date you doesn't mean we aren't friends."