Chapter 10
"Stop."
Ichigo looked at himself in the mirror, standing in the same bathroom where he had miscarried his triplets. It was his first time in two months ever leaving the basement, his body sickly looking. He hadn't showered at all, his stench enough to make him gag.
He had finished his book in a week, his editor having sent him a letter about how much she loved it. It was a sudden switch to what Ichigo originally had in mind, but he didn't really care. It had first been about a man who met a woman and the cliché bullshit, but Ichigo changed it up.
He made that man mirror his pain, made it become the person he knew he had become. That man met a woman, and that woman became the love Ichigo thought Renji had for him. She helped him, gave him a reason to live past the pain. In the end, the woman died after being hit by a car, but the man did not die along with her. He vowed to live for her.
That was why he stood in front of this mirror now. It took a book for him to realize how dead he had become, and he wanted to change that. He was planning on moving to a shrine that had a dojo connected, an old friend of his owning it.
Uryu had become very successful with archery, but expanded his horizons to karate, jiu jitsu, and the practice of the sword. Ichigo didn't know much about karate or jiu jitsu, but he looked forward to learning more. After what happened with Grimmjow, he refused to be weak. He carried around a knife at all times now, and pepper spray.
To live at the shrine he would have the chores of cleaning it every morning before people took afternoon tours of it. Ichigo didn't really mind, wanting to be put back to work. He already had his bag packed, a note on the table for his father.
The shrine was in Osaka, so Ichigo hoped he would be more isolated in the mountains where the shrine was located. Right now though, he had to let everything from his past go.
Ichigo walked away from the mirror, heading downstairs and grabbing his bag. He left his house without looking back, closing the door softly behind him.
At least, that's what he wanted to do.
"Do it." Ichigo looked at himself in the mirror, trying to convince himself to leave. He had hoped he would get over his past easier, but he doubted it would. Writing a book that sold over a million within a three day period around the world was nothing compared to reality. Ichigo didn't realize his first book had made him so famous.
Ichigo turned away from it, tired of looking at himself.
Could he really do it?
The last time he thought he had left everything behind, he had just ended up back in the same situation. Ichigo stripped down, hopping in the shower. He took a quick shower and dressed in black skinny jeans and a white shirt, putting his new phone in his back pocket. He grabbed his wallet and picked up his dirty clothes, putting them in to wash. He grabbed his bag quickly and practically ran out so he wouldn't be tempted to go back to the basement and hide again.
He covered his eyes when the sun struck him, lowering his head as he walked away from his house. He basically ran to the train station, forcing himself to leave. He bumped into somebody, apologizing as he rushed to the train that would leave any minute. He jumped in, looking down quickly when he realized he was being awkward.
He went over to an open seat, sitting down. He sighed softly, taking out his phone. He put in his earphones, blocking out the rest of the world. He took out a book from his bag, reading silently as he listened to rock metal music. He usually didn't like that type of music, but it was nice to hear someone scream how he felt.
Seeing as how he couldn't scream for himself.
He tapped his foot to the music, keeping his eyes on the stops. It took a while to get there, but he didn't mind. He got through half of his book by the time they got to Osaka, Ichigo getting up quickly and bolting out the door to avoid the usual shoving of people.
He walked quickly out of the station, keeping his head down. He was stopped a couple times to give autographs to fan girls and men, but he tried not to say much. He knew his orange hair was a beacon, so he stopped by a bench, pulling out a hat. He flattened his ears, putting the hat on.
"Why do you were hats?" Ichigo looked up, seeing a little girl standing a couple steps away. Ichigo closed his bag, picking up his bag.
"Don't talk to stranger's kid," Ichigo told her, the little girl taking a bite of the candy bar she had.
"Why?" She asked, Ichigo wondering if she was serious.
"Because I can be a bad person," Ichigo told her, the little girl chewing loudly on the candy bar.
"If you were you wouldn't say that. I saw you on the book my mom reads, so you're not a stranger." Ichigo snorted, turning away from her as he tried to remember the route to the shrine.
"Just don't do it kid," Ichigo told her, looking down when the girl called her mom. Ichigo thought he would get in trouble but her mother asked for his autograph instead, Ichigo bowing when she left with her daughter who said she proved he wasn't a stranger. Ichigo shook his head in wonder, speed walking towards the shrine. He took a couple buses to get there; looking up to the steps that he would need to take to get there.
He walked up slowly, already knowing he would get tired before getting there if he ran. When he got there, Uryu was standing at the top, pushing up his glasses. Ichigo rolled his eyes, dropping his bag.
"No hello?" Ichigo questioned, Uryu throwing him a pair of keys. Ichigo caught it, Uryu turning and crossing his arms.
"You room is at the end of the hall to the right. There's no hot spring here, the bath is behind the shrine. Get up at five. I put a list of chores on your door."
Ichigo watched Uryu walk away, rolling his eyes in annoyance. He picked up his bag, knowing at least where his room was. Shinji didn't know about this place, and Ichigo liked it that way.
The blonde wasn't as all knowing as he thought he was.
Ichigo stopped walking to the shrine when he saw a familiar face, a smile touching his lips. He walked over, tapping her shoulder. Orihime turned around quickly, her eyes lighting up when she saw Ichigo. She hugged him tightly, Ichigo not expecting the sudden onslaught of affection. Her neko ears tickled his nose, her tail swooshing back and forth lazily but happily.
Orihime pulled away, looking him over, looking to his face with a smile.
"I'm glad you came back." Ichigo smiled, fighting back tears. He nodded, Orihime walking him to his room as she told him everything that had happened at the shrine in the past few years. Ichigo listened intently, just happy to be by somebody he knew so well.
"How has life been to you?" Orihime asked, Ichigo's lips pulling down into a frown. He didn't want to think about the past. He didn't want to remember all the pain he was trying so hard to forget.
"I finished my book," he told her, Orihime stopping by his door. She laced her fingers behind her back, her eyes shining up at him.
"I heard! I plan on reading it later," she told him, Ichigo smiling softly as he shook his head.
"I didn't think it was that good," Ichigo told her, Orihime slapping his arm playfully.
"That's because you're the author! Your opinion doesn't count," she told him, Ichigo chuckling softly. Orihime moved closer, rising onto her tippy toes. Ichigo was shocked when she placed a kiss on his cheek, Orihime pulling away quickly with a blush. Ichigo had always wondered if he liked woman, mainly because he had found Orihime attractive in high school.
Ichigo still felt attracted to her in a way. He wondered what starting over with her would be like. After some silent contemplation, Ichigo knew it wouldn't work out. He didn't want her to know what he had gone through. He didn't really want her in general. Orihime ran off, Ichigo watching her go.
Ichigo smirked, unlocking the door with his keys. It wasn't a shoji thank god, the back of the shrine more modern than the front. It had been built into the shrine, allowing the residents to rest during the night. He grabbed his chores quickly, stuffing the paper in his pocket.
Ichigo took out the key, opening the door and pushing it open. He had a small made bed placed on a wooden frame, a dresser for his clothes, a closet, and a sink with a mirror. He walked in, closing the door. He opened a door by the sink, finding the toilet. He shrugged, just happy to have a place of his own.
His closet was full of the uniforms he had to wear, white kimonos with red hakamas. He thought he wouldn't have to wear fundoshi's, but there was an entire drawer filled with them. Ichigo sighed, knowing he wouldn't wear them anyway. He unpacked his bag, dressing into his uniform to make sure it fit. He looked to the mirror over the sink, realizing he kind of looked more masculine than he thought he would.
He left his room like that, trying to get used to the uniform. He walked around the shrine, passing by tourists who took pictures of him.
Ichigo didn't really mind, looking for the main places. He found the kitchen on the other side of the shrine, the bath, the laundry room, and the dojo. Ichigo stopped in front of the dojo doors, remembering his years of training here. He was not very good at hand to hand combat, but he trained well with a sword.
Ichigo pushed open the doors, seeing nobody inside. He walked in slowly, taking in the scent. He walked around the dojo, seeing himself as he fought opponent after opponent. He had lost so many times, but he never gave up. He trained till his hands blistered, perfecting every move as best as he could.
Ichigo looked to the wall that held all of the swords used for training, walking over to the one he had deemed his own. It was all black, unlike the rest. Orihime had called it his third arm, since he used it so well. To Ichigo, it had been his soul.
He picked up the sword, touching his finger to the edge. He smiled when his finger was cut instantly, bringing the bleeding digit to his mouth. His sword was a lot heavier than he remembered, his younger body having worked hard to gain the muscle to use it.
After years of sitting down and writing, he had lost a lot of his muscle. He had lost even more after his miscarriage, making him feel weak. He grabbed his sheath, sheathing his sword. He attached the sheath around his waist, leaving the dojo.
He walked over to where he used to train, a cliff that looked over the ocean. It had been his inspiration, his dream. He had thought if he worked hard enough, he could make it to the championships. When reality kicked in due to lack of money, he found something else he was good at, writing.
Ichigo had enough money to go anywhere now, his eyes staring out at the ocean as he remembered how he felt as he dreamed. He smiled, knowing all of the steps by heart. He got into his fighting stance, unsheathing his sword. He swung the blade through the air, hearing its ring. He moved as swiftly as he did then, remembering everything his teacher had taught him.
Ichigo got lost in this dance, his sword singing a song as he pretended to fight the opponent that wasn't there. His mind took him to what he dreamed, hearing the thousands of people scream as he fought his last opponent. Ichigo swung his blade quickly and swiftly, moving quickly with his opponent.
The dream suddenly ended when metal clashed with metal, Ichigo opening his eyes. Uryu stood there, his eyes as blank as always. Ichigo unlocked their swords, Uryu lowering his own.
"I see you still know it well," he whispered, Ichigo lowering his blade as he nodded. Uryu walked up to him, Ichigo realizing he had grown a bit since they had last met. Ichigo was still taller, but he was almost able to look Uryu in the eye.
Ichigo remembered a long time ago, he had wanted to be with Uryu. He hated the smart ass deeply, but that hate had turned into respect and adoration after a few years of knowing him. Ichigo's ear twitched when Uryu reached up, touching the soft appendage. Ichigo sometimes forgot he had them, and his tail.
Uryu rubbed the appendage, Ichigo not sure of what to do as he felt his stomach stir. Uryu pulled his hand away, lowering it back to his side.
"I always wondered if they were real," Uryu told him, Ichigo realizing just how close he was all of sudden. Uryu took a step back, Ichigo sniffing his scent. Uryu smelled good, Ichigo almost leaning in when his body started feeling hot. Ichigo stopped himself, telling himself he was just deprived.
"Tell me Ichigo, do you want me to tell anybody why you're here?" Uryu asked, already knowing Ichigo's back story. Ichigo was glad he could tell him without facing judgment, the man one of few words.
Ichigo shook his head, raising his sword. Uryu raised his own, getting into his own stance. They fought for what seemed like forever, neither one wanting to go all out on the other. Ichigo had never felt so alive, the clash of the metal like a song to his ears.
Uryu landed a hard swing, Ichigo blocking quickly. He took a step back, Uryu pointing his sword at him. Uryu always used a mix of traditional with american, making him a hard opponent to read. Ichigo slapped his sword away with his own, Uryu lowering it with a small smirk.
Ichigo didn't realize how cold it was till the wind blew, shivering in the cold air as his sweat dried. Uryu turned away, leading him back to the shrine. There they ate some soup, Uryu walking Ichigo back to his room afterwards. Ichigo turned to face the smaller man, giving him a small smile.
Uryu opened his door and walked in, Ichigo confused for a second. He walked in after him, closing the door to better warm up the room. Uryu turned to face him, his eyes stoic. He took off his glasses, placing them down on Ichigo's dresser. His eyes said one thing. Ichigo was by no means a virgin as he was back then, walking up to Uryu who grabbed his shirt. Ichigo kissed Uryu, leading him back towards his bed.
Ichigo would be on top this time, the same way he was when he almost lost his virginity to this man. Ichigo missed the feeling of being on top, reaching his hand into Uryu's pants.
Uryu grunted from the coldness of his hand, Ichigo pulling away from his lips. He took his hand out of his pants, pulling the offensive clothing down. Ichigo kissed his way down Uryu's body, planning on doing the very thing he should have done all those years ago.
He erased Grimmjow from his mind.
But to Grimmjow, the neko burned holes of his memory inside his.