Chapter 10

Before

Rather than the escort of ships that Hux had left Atterra Alpha with, Kylo left the First Order training base with his Upsilon-class command shuttle, a handful of troopers and even fewer officers. It was unnecessary to show his might beyond the lightsaber that rested at his hip and not one member of the squadron he had taken with him commented on it either.

'We will be arriving in five minutes, Your Excellency. Do you have any requests on landing?'

Kylo shifted his chair towards Lieutenant Wynn, though did not look at her. He'd thought it smarter to take the officer who seemed to understand the order of hierarchy with him, rather than fill his shuttle with Hux drones, ready to share and hide whatever information he bade them to.

'No. Has the remaining leadership agreed to meet?' Kylo questioned, staring ahead at the stars shooting by through the viewport.

He sensed her nod. 'Tomorrow sir. We will arrive just after noon and the summit will begin at ten hundred hours the following day. I have arranged the appropriate files to be forwarded to your quarters in Hanna City.'

Blinking, he finally turned to the Lieutenant who looked as if she was barely maintaining her composure. 'Quarters?'

She nodded. 'The First Order has an apartment complex within the centre of the city. Though has been vacant since the Superweapon was built.'

Turning back, he settled in his chair again, preparing himself as they pulled out of hyperspace and the vibrant blues and greens of the planet came into full view. Kylo could faintly remember the last time he'd been here, steadily departing the planet and thinking that he'd return soon, that it wouldn't be forever. He breathed out heavily and closed his eyes as they began their descent.

After

Kylo could still smell her in the air around him. Standard regulation soap and the slight sour smell of clothes freshly washed, but not hung out to dry soon enough. His fingers still ached from touching her, even through his gloves, and he closed his eyes, barely withholding the urge to cry out in sheer relief.

His chest pained him steadily, and the more he thought about Rey, the more the bruise seemed to bleed and grow. The base of his skull throbbed and when he closed his eyes, she shined behind his lids. The bond was sinking its claws into him again, and he softly followed its lead, just like before, letting her take everything from him without complaint.

Everything he had said was all wrong. It wasn't what he practiced, it wasn't what he promised himself that he'd say. He was giving her more than an ultimatum, he was giving her time, and he'd promised not to. She'd had time, she'd had weeks and weeks of it now.

Even knowing what he wanted, what that path needed to look like, it seemed that he was far more willing to allow her to take the lead first and Kylo knew that this was a poison he needed to fight off. If he was not the executor of his own will, he would continue to lose against her. And this is what their relationship had become. It was a win or lose game, where losing wasn't an option for either of them, not while they were connected. But he would win, because he still had something over her – the Force, his own knowledge of it too. Even if she searched the universe for answers, she'd find nothing more. He could give her what she needed.

The thought was almost convincing, and then he remembered the object she'd held in her hand — the Holocron. Seemingly undamaged by time and whole in her hands, as if the Force was hellbent on making a laughing stock of him.

His brow furrowed as he looked out of the window of his temporary bedroom, night having fallen in the capital and the city steadily falling asleep beneath the stars.

That was the one thing Ben had always missed. There were cities wherever you went that 'never slept' and yet Hanna City always did. As if night were a holy time and the vigil of sleep was a religious experience. Lights steadily dimmed, the starshine brightening as he looked over the small city, and he smiled briefly to himself, reminded of his mother before remembering who he was and where he was.

He closed his eyes, shaking his head and taking up the glass of Chandrilan raava, trying to think of anything but his life on Chandrila.

Let the past die, he whispered to himself.

Kylo turned from the window, gesturing for the curtains to draw themselves and he sat at the end of his bed, removing his gloves steadily as he balanced the glass on his knee with the Force.

Rey wanted to hide the fact that she'd found a Holocron from him. She must have known what it was, what it contained. He wondered where she could have possibly found one, and whether its contents were valuable or not. She knew though, she had to have known, and that's why she had reacted that way.

Rey was stretching away from him.

When they had met she knew nothing, but she welcomed knowledge, and he could have provided her with everything she could possibly want to know about the Force, yet now she was squaring herself away from him. If she strayed too far, then she might truly never be convinced.

His grip on the bed-spread grew slack once he heard the material give under his hand, ripping slightly at the seams.

The anger that had built up in him over the last month wanted to be displaced on her, yet from having seen her, it seemed to evaporate like a puddle in the mid-summer sun.

The idea that she could be convinced didn't seem so far off, and despite him promising himself that it would be with him, or death, he thought that perhaps it wasn't necessary. She could come to him. She would, eventually.

If he could find a way to manipulate the bond, it would be easier. He could see what progress she had made, help her see his way, think him the best choice – he already knew this was true, she just needed to see it for herself. Kylo only wanted what the Force did. A united front for the both of them, with her by his side. He could see it materialising in front of him. And it was all he needed.

It wouldn't be like what Snoke did.

XxX

Rey laid in her cot, looking up at the metal slats that held the upper bed as she turned the polyhedron in her fingers again. She'd done everything to try and prize it open, even down to spreading blood and saliva across the crystal-like material.

Kylo had recognised it with surprise, which meant that it was something important, yet it did not want to reveal its secrets to her. Rey held it up to her eyes, twisting it and seeing the light reflect off its faces.

Her lightsaber sketches were left abandoned beside her, Rey having grown frustrated very quickly at her lack of imagination when it came to building her own lifeline.

Letting go of the cube, she let it float above her, watching as it bobbed in the air before closing her eyes. She focused on the world around her. The dust particles in the air, the distant sound of the wind blowing past the Falcon, even the jumbled voices from outside. It calmed her to do so, and she sensed a steady hum of energy coming from the cube. Visualising the energy expanding and opening, blooming to her like a flower, she heard a dull click and her eyes opened to see a purple glow cover the device before a hologram of a young Nautolan appeared.

Rey immediately sat up, placing the device beside her and watching with interest as the hologram began to speak.

'I am Trex, the gatekeeper of this holocron. This holocron was created in the year 7468 C.R.C for use by Padawan learners at the Temple of Alaris Prime.' He spoke Basic, though there were words he used that Rey had not heard before and could only guess the meaning.

'What is a holocron?' Rey asked.

'A holocron is a device used by Force-users to store information.'

Rey considered this, narrowing her eyes at the device with interest. 'What information do you contain?'

'This device contains 1 petabyte of data. It is suitable for new padawan learners, so please be more specific in your questions.'

She chuckled lightly, realising that the hologram seemed to have a personality too. 'What information do you have on lightsaber building?'

'I have stored information regarding lightsaber maintenance as well as combat instructions for Forms I to III.'

Rey reached towards the table, grabbing her datapad and beginning a list. 'What are the key components of a standard lightsaber?'

'A padawan learner's lightsaber should include modulation circuits, an energy gate, a blade emitter shroud, an emitter matrix, an activator button or switch, the lightsaber hilt, a length adjuster and most importantly, at least one Force-imbued kyber crystal. I recommend including a low-power setting for training purposes.'

'Do you have a blueprint for a lightsaber as an example?'

'Please refer to another holocron regarding lightsaber mechanics. I have only stored information on maintenance for the key lightsaber parts in this volume.'

She frowned but reached forward, grabbing for the device and hoping it eventually turned itself off as she looked over her notes. There were several items that she had already known she had needed from dissembling the broken Skywalker weapon, however several others she still needed to get her hands on. Like the blade emitter matrix and shroud.

Rey stood, sifting through her things in the bottom of the one draw she had decided to keep the Jedi tomes in and pulled when her fingers met the cool edge of the broken lightsaber. She peered into the shaft, carefully looking over the crystal.

It had been clear very quickly that her biggest issue would be finding a crystal and knowing when she'd found one. Rey knew the crystal hadn't broken when she had fought with Ben for it, but it didn't feel right to use it. Even as she looked at it now, it seemed as if the crystal itself was gently pulsating away from her.

She slipped it back into the drawer and went back to sitting on the cot, looking tiredly down at her hands before closing her eyes to slip briefly into meditation.

Sitting on her cot, feeling the souls milling around on the base, she felt Kylo more pronounced than she had in almost two months. Rey couldn't be sure why the Force had allowed the almost two months of reprieve, though she had not been prepared for his presence and the dread of another untimely appearance was distracting. It was as if their meeting had fed the bond, sated it and energised it to a more robust hum beneath her skin, behind her eyelids.

Despite knowing it was nothing good, Rey struggled to understand why it persisted, and with the knowledge that the Force sought balance, she couldn't help but wonder whether it was the Force's sick idea of balance. Connecting Rey and Kylo like two sides of a coin.

The thought of having to continue like this unsettled Rey, yet a part of her, despite being small, thought that perhaps something good could still come of this, even if it was at war with everything else around her.

Chewbacca knocked on the door frame then, and Rey's eyes opened, smiling up at him as he asked whether he'd disrupted her.

She shook her head and stood. 'I was just thinking.' He made a face and Rey chuckled. 'Not about anything too dangerous, I promise I won't do that again.'

The Wookiee didn't seem to believe her and Rey sighed, her eyes glancing toward the drawer holding the lightsaber. 'Sometimes I wonder if I tried hard enough, Chewie. It's silly, I know, yet somehow I'm still here, so I often think, what if?'

Her eyes met his blue and he seemed intent on listening as she spilled her secrets. Even if she would never say it out loud, Chewie reminded her immensely of the old women at Niima Outpost. Hardened from the life, but keen to listen, be attentive, offer water or bread to those in most need. Always giving. Always accepting. She saw it in his eyes, felt how his steady heart beat, how the Force wove through him, and it comforted her immensely.

Rey had told Chewie. Eventually. It had been hours since Crait, before she'd even spoken to Leia, and it wasn't that he cornered her, but he saw how unsettled she was – still covered in dirt, shivering not against cold, but from everything that had happened. Her adrenaline had run low, and she had been reeling.

Chewbacca had been the only person to know that she had gone to the Supremacy and he had known why, she had told him her plan before she had left. He had let her go, forgoing protests, trusting – or perhaps just hoping – that she was going down the right path. Luke had been against the plan, so Rey felt as if she carried the only answer. She knew Kylo—Ben, somehow she had come to know him. Even now it made no sense. So, she had told Chewbacca what had happened, the things Snoke had said, how Kylo had turned, what had followed. It did not help her understand why Kylo had not followed her – telling Chewie – yet it gave her some release.

'When Snoke was torturing me…' She murmured softly, taking a seat at the small table, Chewie following suit, folding his large form into the small chair. '…He said that he would kill me with the "cruellest stroke" and I only realise now what he meant and it frightens me immensely.'

'Ben?' The single word was simple, said with pain, but not needing any preamble or explanation.

Rey nodded. 'I resist, I can do that much, though sometimes the part of me that took me to that ship, it still calls out to him and it feels terrible, because I know it's not right.' She felt the tears come then. What she felt most poignantly was frustration and powerlessness. If she fought Kylo again she didn't know if she could win against him, or if the time came, she'd even be able to put her whole heart into it.

And she thought, as Chewie pulled her against his furry chest, that that was the worse thing about it all. She didn't know if she could ever truly fight him again.

XxX

The First Order had sent its full might to Vardos and Mar couldn't say that he wasn't impressed by the fact that Kylo still wasn't aware of the strikes that Hux was carrying out under his nose. If he had known, Mar knew that he would already have been facing against a hologram message from the Supreme Leader.

They'd been on the planet for days now, camped out a few miles from the capital city of Kestro as hundreds of shuttles worth of weaponry and goods were transported down by the hour. The sheer quantity of troopers and equipment was beyond what Mar thought necessary. Even during the First Order's toughest battles on land, it had been nothing like this, and the idea that they were on Vardos to quell a potential coup, seemed very unlikely. This seemed like they were fighting a war.

Mar took his time appraising the soldiers around him, touching whatever he could get his hands on to get a feel of the situation, to further understand why they were here and why the Supreme Leader wasn't allowed to know. The Jinata system played a paramount role in First Order control, so when the Empire had fallen, the gauntlet of power had deftly been placed in First Order hands. Unbeknownst to the New Republic, Jinata Security and the First Order were one. Without J-Sec there was no First Order conscription and without that, there was no army.

At dawn on the fourth day, Mar was vividly aware that their presence was all for show. Without Kylo, they were Hux's next best thing, and Mar was uncomfortable knowing that Xhona was very much aware of this. He pulled on Jojen's vibrosword regardless and moved out of the makeshift shelter they were housed in and into the brightening light. There was smoke in the air and Mar could feel the agitated thrum of the Force with every step he took.

Xhona was leading a squadron of Stormtroopers up a ridge, gaining the high-ground against the piss-poor excuse for a coup. Even if it had the potential to go planet-wide, even after almost a week, it was merely made up of the citizens in a mining town several miles from the city. General Hux must have predicted more if he wanted to shut it down now with the unnecessary force of several star destroyer's worth of soldiers. Mar could already imagine what Jojen would have said if he were here; that Hux was overcompensating for something else. The thought made Mar chuckle, because he suddenly felt closer to the ridiculous man only once he was dead.

A sensor went off in Mar's helmet, indicating that a non-First Order affiliated life form was approaching the unit and he turned towards it, cocking his repeater rifle. He sensed that Yonduun and Kem had already moved forward to join Xhona, so he stood mostly alone, bar several straggling foot-soldiers.

Mar frowned, wondering why someone or something was approaching so swiftly and he broke away, trying to meet it in the middle.

Perhaps it was foolhardy, yet he still did it without hesitation, knowing from his years helping Kylo deceive the other Knights, that sometimes going on his own was the best option.

He paused, the sensor resetting and analysing the environment again to pinpoint the location of the unknown.

Removing his mask was automatic, and Mar placed it beside him on a nearby boulder before he dropped to his knee, his hand against the ground as he read out with the Force. Its steady ebb flowed through him, reaching out like roots, feeling all that was connected to the earth, down to the soldiers not even two hundred metres away and what seemed like a young Weequay standing several feet away, with a blaster in one hand and a thumping heart in his chest.

'Do you plan on taking an entire army on?' Mar questioned, standing and opening his eyes.

The boy stood in front of him then, the blaster aimed true, despite Mar knowing that regardless, he would miss.

There were tears in his eyes and as the Kiffar stepped forward, the boy took a step away.

'I will end it now,' he murmured, despite the sadness etched on his features.

Mar shook his head, pulling the rifle onto his shoulder by the strap. 'No, you won't.' He appraised the boy briefly, his eyes narrowing and sensing him out with the Force. The Force weaved itself through the boy and Mar had to restrain himself from smiling briefly as he looked down at him. He had been touched, as they would say on Kiffu about Force sensitives.

'Why is your village fighting? Where is the Protectorate, Gleb? Mar questioned.

'Dead.' He seemed unperturbed and Mar wasn't surprised. The Kiffar could imagine that a whole planet being under the control of a single J-Sec officer was hell and that her death was probably welcome.

'Of natural causes?'

The boy grunted and shook his head. 'Nobody thinks so, but we're fighting for absolute freedom. No J-Sec, no First Order, just Vardos.'

Mar's wry smile was automatic. The young Weequay reminded him of himself. His peoples' blood ran strong with loyalty, as if Kiffu itself thrummed through the veins of the Kiffar, even if they were one hundred parsecs from home.

'What's your name?'

The boy narrowed his eyes, not understanding why he was being asked the question, though his hands did not shake as he held the weapon against Mar, despite the Kiffar's clear disregard for it.

'Ranz,' he eventually said, when silence had continued without neither of them making a move.

Mar nodded and he reached for his helmet, holding it beneath his arm. 'Well Ranz, my advice to you is to get yourself and those you care for far away from here. You have a future if you allow the Force to guide you.'

'The Force?' The boy straightened, knowing his concentration was waning. 'Are you not with them? Are you not here to kill us all?'

The Kiffar merely nodded. 'Perhaps, though I'm in the business of making my own choices.'

He watched the young man hesitate, before lowering his blaster and scurrying back down the hill, resolution clear in his step.

Mar joined back with the ranks as if he had not separated, even if it was for an incredibly small amount of time. He moved quickly to cover the ground between himself and the other Knights, and removed his rifle again as he walked into step beside them.

There were screams up ahead, and he cocked his weapon, not entirely liking the fact that they had very much become hired hands, enforcers even, for General Hux, and that blood would spill for the general, when he should have been on the list of people the knights should never trust nor pledge their swords to.

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