10

Sheldon flopped back against his bed. Oh, God! Now what have I done? It wasn't bad enough to impregnate Amy, now I asked her to marry me? Where does this insanity end? Amy had left his room to go face their friends. She'd wanted him to come with her, but he asked, no begged, for a few minutes alone. His life was continuing to spiral out of control, and from any angle it was apparent his dreams were bursting into flames. He would find a way to gain control. He would not sacrifice his goals. It might take longer than he wanted, but he would win the Nobel Prize. How many times had Leonard pointed out Einstein managed to find a way to have a family and make ground-breaking discoveries? If he could do it, Sheldon Lee Cooper could too, and do it better.

Feeling a little calmer, Sheldon sat up and looked around his room. Nothing was going to have to change. He'd have his room and Amy would have. . . . What? For the first time he considered where Amy was going to stay when they got married. He'd told her she wouldn't be in his room, but what was the other option? She couldn't sleep on the couch. Would he have to move to accommodate Amy? Would they need to find some place with three bedrooms? Would Leonard even stay roommates with him when he married her? Obviously he hadn't thought this through. Just another example of how Amy Farrah Fowler had turned his life upside down from the moment he'd met her.

"Oh, what fresh Hell is this?" he asked the empty room, gripping his head in his hands. Maybe he should tell Amy that upon reflection it wasn't such a good idea they get married. He'd find some way to break the news to his mother. Would she be any more scandalized he had a baby out of wedlock than having premarital sex? Either one was likely to give her apoplexy. If he didn't "do the right thing" by Amy, his mother was likely to show up and cart him off to Texas, away from the den of iniquity known as Pasadena. She'd stick him in some religious cult and not allow him release until he sincerely renounced science. Sheldon shuddered. Surely it was easier to resolve his domicile dilemma rather than face his mother. Just as he was about to lay back down, there was a knock on his door.

"Sheldon? Buddy? Can we talk? The others have left."

"Is Amy still here?"

Leonard continued speaking through his closed door. "Um, yeah. Would you like me to ask her to leave? She could probably hang out over at Penny's for a little while." Sheldon thought about the offer. It would be easier to talk to Leonard if they were alone, but he didn't want Amy to return to her apartment. There was a lot the three of them had to decide. Why do I even have to decide? Why can't I just wake up and this will all be some hellish nightmare?

"Yes, please ask her to go see Penny. Let her know it's only temporary though." Sheldon heard Leonard's retreating footsteps and half expected to hear Amy slamming the apartment door, but there was nothing. Apparently Leonard managed to placate her.

Footsteps came closer. "She's gone. You can come out."

Cautiously, Sheldon looked around his door frame. He didn't think Leonard would try to trick him, but he wasn't taking any chances. Walking to the kitchen, he watched Leonard place the kettle on the stove.

Leonard smiled at him and pushed a mug and the box of tea toward him. "I thought you might like some tea."

"Yes. Thank you, Leonard." Sheldon took a seat at the island while his roommate chose to remain standing. He was concentrating on his mug, unable to meet Leonard's gaze. "If you're going to mock me, please get it out of the way."

"Mock you? Why would I do that? Sheldon, you're taking responsibility for your actions. Why would I make fun of you for that?"

"Howard would," he said, continuing to stare at the countertop.

"Well I'm not Howard! And why do you care what he thinks anyway? You barely tolerate him."

He looked up, realizing Leonard was right. "True. It's like being mocked by an inferior life form, and that shouldn't bother me." Leonard said nothing, just stared at him.

Sheldon went about fixing his mug, carefully unwrapping a tea bag, placing it so the string and paper tab were lying to the right of the handle. He then squirted two seconds worth of honey into the bottom. Looking up, he saw Leonard watching his actions. They didn't say anything for a few minutes and when the kettle whistled, it broke the stalemate.

"I don't want to get married," Sheldon said, and Leonard stopped stirring his own tea, looking at him with confusion. "I don't want things to change."

"I don't suppose you do. Want things to change, I mean." Leonard took a tentative sip from his mug then added, "So why did you ask Amy to marry you? Howard was right. There really isn't a reason beyond your own sense of morality. You certainly can both raise the child without being married."

"I don't believe my mother would allow me to raise a child with Amy without benefit of marriage."

"Again, it's your life, Sheldon. Is it Amy? Has she pressured you to marry her?"

Sheldon did a double-take. "What? No, of course not! Didn't you see how she reacted? I had to convince her it was the right thing to do."

Leonard's eyebrows seemed to be frozen in a permanent state of bewilderment. "Then I don't get it. Why did you ask her?"

Sheldon sighed and looked at the floor. "I thought it would be in the best interest of the child. I can make sure Amy takes the proper precautions during her pregnancy." It was a moment before he looked up at Leonard. "But I don't want to lose you as a roommate! I like the life we have here! You know my routine, you know how I like my take-out, we've come to have an orderly existence and I don't want to lose that!"

Leonard pulled out the stool across from him and sat down. "I guess I hadn't really considered it, but I guess if you guys get married then I will be moving out. Even if you two were going to share your room it would be kind of weird if you. . ."

"Get a hold of yourself, Leonard!" Sheldon recoiled. "I assure you, just as I did her, we will not be sharing a room."

"I bet that went over well," Leonard mumbled to himself.

"She understood completely. I dare say she welcomed the reassurance our relationship would remain as it is."

Leonard shook his head. "I doubt that. But that's beside the point. The point is if you stay here, Amy's going to need a room, and that room would be mine." He looked to be considering his options when he brightened. "I could ask Penny if she wanted to try living together again!"

"I would think after the last time you wouldn't be so anxious to return. In fact, now that I think about it, I should have taken Amy's moving here into account before offering a state of matrimony." He looked up at his friend. "I can't have 'his' and 'hers' towels in my bathroom again."

Leonard took a drink from his mug, trying to hide his grin. "You didn't really think this through, did you?"

Sheldon slumped and sighed. "No, I didn't. I mean I did, but I guess I forgot about all the minutiae of daily life." Sitting up straighter, he came to a new conclusion. "Perhaps I can un-ask her. Tell her that upon further reflection I've decided to rescind my offer."

"You can't do that. I'm sure she and Penny are deep in wedding plans right about now. You better think about getting measured for a tux."

"Oh, dear Lord!" he cried, leaping to his feet, pacing the room. "I can't do that! Leonard, I can't do a big church wedding! All my relatives will want to be there! All hers! I haven't even met her mother in person! She's never spoken of her father, but is he around? Is he dead? Is some strange man going to suddenly show up and start to give me advice on how to take care of his 'little girl?'" Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

"Sheldon! Calm down! I'm sorry I brought it up! Look, I'm sure there's a way to avoid all that." Leonard was walking back and forth between the living room and the kitchen, twisting his fingers as he thought. "How about this: You and Amy could be married by the Justice of The Peace, like Howard and Bernadette were going to do before he went into space. The only people who would be there would be us, and you can tell your families after the fact. Kind of like eloping but you don't have to run off somewhere."

Sheldon's pacing slowed a bit. "Well, that does seem like a viable alternative," he thought. His mother and Meemaw would be upset to have missed out on seeing him wed, but anymore upset than they were going to be over the reason he would be engaging in a shotgun wedding? He almost giggled at the thought of his mother standing up at his nuptials pointing a firearm in his direction. "I'm sure Amy would prefer the whole big wedding affair, given as how she feels about wearing that silly tiara."

"Maybe you could point out how romantic an elopement can be. She might buy into that."

Sheldon stopped in the middle of the living room, staring at his current roommate. "You have been hanging out with Koothrappali for far too long, Leonard. Romance? Really?"

Leonard too stopped his movements around the room, only to stand fidgeting before Sheldon's piercing stare. "I have sisters," he shrugged, attempting to defend himself. He straightened up, sticking his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. "I think she would agree to the practicality of a civil ceremony. Especially if you pointed out she could wear the tiara."

It would be a logical solution, Sheldon thought. He wouldn't have to deal with anyone's relatives and would be surrounded by his friends. If there was an upside to this whole situation, this might be it.

"That still doesn't address the issue of who's going to live where." Sheldon swallowed. He didn't want Leonard to know how much he depended on his companionship. How much better his life was because of their friendship. He didn't want to lose that. He couldn't lose that. Not for Amy, not for anyone. "I, uh, don't want. . . ." he started, but the words seemed lodged in his throat. "Idon'twantyoutoleaveLeonard," he said, hoping if he said it fast enough some of the embarrassment would be negated.

Leonard's gaze traveled around the apartment, studiously avoiding looking at him. "I guess I would kind of miss you too."

"Who said anything about missing each other? I just said I didn't want you to leave. You pay your rent on time."

Leonard shook his head. "Sheldon, we've been over this. Even if there was an extra room, I'm not going to live with you and Amy!"

"I thought you liked Amy after you dated her!"

Leonard did a double-take. "Dated her? I went with her to a wedding! And yes, it did change my opinion of her, but that doesn't mean I want to live with the two of you!"

Sheldon dropped down to his spot on the sofa. "I suppose the only option is to make some arrangement with Penny. If you tried moving in with her again, it would almost be the same as you living here. You could still drive me to work."

"Yeah, that's my prime consideration in finding a place to live."

"Well it should be!" Sheldon said, wondering why this was so hard for Leonard to understand.

"I don't know that me moving in with Penny is such a good idea," Leonard said, beginning his pacing and finger twisting again. "It kind of had a negative effect on our relationship."

"But you're in a much better place now. You told me so yourself."

"Yeah, and I don't want to jeopardize that. I would love to live with Penny," he sighed with a far-off look Sheldon had come to realize was Leonard's "Penny face." "I just don't know if she's ready to try it again."

Sheldon was on his feet heading towards the door. "We'll just go ask her."

"What! Sheldon, No! You can't just. . . ." But he was already across the hall, knocking on her door. On the third rap Penny immediately opened the door. "What's up, Marriage Pup?"

"That just makes no sense at all," Sheldon chided.

Penny shrugged. "It's the only thing I could come up with on short notice." She lounged into the door frame. "So, You and Amy tying the knot! How cute is that?"

"It has nothing to do with a factor of 'cuteness' and everything to do with practicality. Didn't Amy sufficiently explain the logic behind our pending nuptials?"

Penny was waving her hand in the air. "Yeah, she went on about you being able to hold your head up the next time you went home or some nonsense like that." She leaned in closer to him. "I know you just needed some silly excuse to tell Amy how you really feel."

Sheldon was indignant. "I assure you that is not the case! And there certainly would have been no offer of marriage had the current predicament not placed us in this socially awkward situation."

"Whatever, Sheldon. Lie all you want to yourself," she said dismissively. "So, I'm guessing you're here to talk to Amy? Start making some plans?"

"Actually, I'm here to talk to you."

Penny stood up from the door frame, arms crossed over her chest. "Really?"

"Yes. I'm sure you recall your recently failed attempt at living with Leonard."

"Sheldon!" Leonard cried. He was standing on the threshold of their apartment as if a force field prevented him from moving any closer.

Sheldon saw Penny look around him to gaze at Leonard. "I don't know that 'failed attempt' is the term I'd use."

"Oh, so then you won't mind if he moves in with you again so Amy and I can take up residence in my apartment."

Penny shifted from foot to foot, glancing across the hall, then back at Sheldon. "Don't you think we should talk about this? All of us, I mean? Maybe Amy doesn't want to live in your apartment. Maybe she wants some place that's new to both of you."

"Of course she wants to live in my apartment. She wasn't very happy when I asked her to leave."

"That was because of you not the apartment," Penny sighed.

Just then Amy walked up behind Penny. "Sheldon, I don't believe asking your friends to move in together to facilitate your life is acceptable. It's one thing if they are ready for such a commitment but clearly they're not. We shall commence looking for a new place to live."

Sheldon was about to protest when he caught the look Amy gave him. He was proud of himself for recognizing her tactic. "You're right, Amy. It's obvious to me as well that Penny and Leonard are not ready for the reality of cohabitation. We shall have to move both your and my households to a new location."

"Now hold on," Leonard said, entering the hallway. "Sheldon, you love this apartment. You don't want to move."

Sheldon looked at the floor, quickly glancing at Amy and then down again. "I would prefer not to have to move, but I don't wish you and Penny to enter into an agreement simply to accommodate my needs."

"Really? Since when?" Penny asked.

"Since Amy has pointed out to me I'm being selfish."

Leonard moved in closer. "What do you say, Penny? Don't you think we could try it again. I mean things are better between us now, right? It could be a trial run, say, a few months to see how it's working?"

"I would be happy to draft a temporary Cohabitation Agreement," Sheldon helpfully offered.

"Uh, thanks, but no." Penny gave Leonard a pleading look. "I don't know, Leonard. Things are going really well for us right now. I don't want to lose that."

"And I don't want to lose Leonard either," Sheldon confessed. All three of them faced Penny waiting for her answer. Her gaze darted from one to the next. Even Sheldon could see how conflicted she was.

"Okay, fine! We'll give it a shot on a trial basis. No Cohabitation Agreements and no pressure from you!" she said, pointing a finger at Sheldon's chest.

Amy wrapped her arms around her friend, grinning madly. "Thank you, Bestie! This is going to be so great! You and Leonard across the hall, it'll be like a commune! One big happy family!"

"Hippies," Sheldon mumbled, shaking his head as he returned to his apartment.