Lithuania stared in bewilderment between Russia and America. America was shouting loudly and gesturing wildly while Russia eyed him blankly.
"This is totally unacceptable. Completely and utterly unacceptable! Can you believe it?"
"Da, I can. Perhaps you have forgotten Ukraine is my sister?" Russia replied mildly.
Lithuania hummed nervously under his breath and paced slightly out of range of the two upset nations. How and why he was here still confused him. Sure, he was worried about Poland, especially when the other nation never called back, and he was still worried about Latvia, but… Russia?
"Oh Jesus Christ riding a tricycle, we just bust in! Duh."
When America had said he was calling Russia Lithuania had thought it was one of America's off-color jokes. He had come downstairs to see America pacing and calling someone on his phone. He muttered and cursed, brows furrowed dramatically.
'Well, my bro's in trouble.' America said as he hung up. He riffled through some papers and gave a shark grin as he pulled up a folder. 'Those bastards are totally going to pay for taking Canada. And, er, Poland too. And all the other nations! Glad I planted that tracker system on him before he left!'
Lithuania blinked and pinched at his clothing, checking for the fiftieth time for any bugs or trackers or whatever else America decided to put on him "for his protection." So far he had found only two but he was convinced there were more. It was that itchy you got when you found a few ants trucking across your leg and you kept feeling them for hours after they were gone.
He had thought America was over his McCarthyism stage.
"Umm, can't we sneak in?" Lithuania murmured just imagining America trying one of his Hollywood stunts complete with lots of explosions, shattering glass and trashed vehicles. Both of them whipped around to stare him down and he took a step back. "Er, you know who this is, right?"
Because Lithuania didn't have a clue. Unless America was a really good actor or had split personalities, it obviously wasn't him. And he was worked into a righteous fury over the disappearance of his brother. It was good he wasn't waving around a gun in the airport, grumbling something about gun control laws, but Lithuania was quite sure both America and Russia were heavily armed.
"Of course the hero knows everything!" America boomed then grinned sheepishly, "Well, mostly."
Lithuania gawked. He knew America had a bad habit of going off half-cocked but this was… he sighed. It was completely in character for the forever positive thinking nation. Obviously if he wished it hard enough things would all work out for the better.
Russia merely rolled his eyes and giggled with a smile tugging at his lips. He was probably thinking far less flattering things about their "fearless leader." A slight smack of the pipe affirmed that thought and Lithuania inched away a little more. Towards the car. He was going to use it as a shield because he didn't like the maniacal gleam in America's eyes anymore than the smile on Russia's face.
"What do you know?"
"Hmm, I know I've irritated England quite a bit more than usual and that this isn't really any of my business, which pisses him off even more." America hummed cheerfully, like it was his life's goal to annoy the nation that raised him. He held up a finger and continued, "I know that he's not the only one behind the nations disappearing and that he's working for someone. The final baddie, the big boss!"
"Do not wet yourself in happiness, da?" Russia grumbled, clearly getting tired of listening to America's fan boy attitude. He had a notoriously short patience for America's heroism.
America drew himself up indignantly and got in Russia's face, "Hey, cool it. I'm not done. And I don't pee my pants. I might do other things in there…"
Lithuania cleared his throat.
"Oh, right, ahaha. I've got an inside agent, see? He's totally on our side."
"Yet you do not know who is in charge?" Russia asked, violet eyes narrowed dangerously, "I cannot believe that your contact does not know this information. He is simply not telling you, and I will not act on incomplete reports."
"Like I said, I kind of know. I'm just fuzzy on the details." America rubbed the back of his neck, "He is one of us. And Germany, England, France, Spain, and Italy are helping him."
Lithuania took in a quick breath. Of course he suspected that whoever was abducting the other nations was a nation themselves. That was the most plausible explanation. But confirmation… who would do that? Europe had problems but it was nothing like the 17th century of war and betrayal. In some ways those were golden times, despite the hunger, pain, and fighting, but modernization had increase prosperity and longevity. And any nation could easily say that happy citizens were a blessing.
And the European Union had provided happy citizens, stable economies, and universal laws. Why would the five most influential nations in the EU suddenly start collecting countries… Who would they be working under… Lithuania's stomach sunk a little more. He had seen the rise and fall of nations, after all, he was older than Russia, and he felt like a fool for assuming that there was no room for new nations in current affairs.
"Whom is one of us?" Russia clipped out, "Your so-called informant or the one who pulls the strings?" He had allowed his childish smirk to fall, replaced with a brittle smile, his eyes cold and shaded. "How do you intend to resolve this, oh Hero? Perhaps with another war? You have cut yourself off from the UN, with no chance of ally aid, and enraged those with whom you have cultivated close ties with. Your military funds were cut many years ago to pay your deficit, do not shake your head at me, and your exports are simply embarrassing. You are not in the best position to strong arm. Perhaps you should have spoken with China?"
America shuffled slightly and glared at the ground. He finally looked up, a dark look on his face, "Are you suggesting I just leave it alone? Fine, you can just leave; I don't need help. Fuck you. And I did speak to China; he doesn't care as long as he gets his money."
"I am merely pointing out the reality of the situation." Russia replied calmly, "And I ask not out of curiosity or to taunt you but simply because these are questions you may not have considered."
"I'mgonnatalkdammit."
"Hmm?"
"Talk, you know, run my mouth? Isn't that what everyone is always preaching? Talk it out? Well, I'm going to talk it out. And in grand style too. So there."
Russia started chuckling. It rumbled low in his chest and worked its way up his throat. After a few moments his whole frame was shaking and tears were gathered at the corner of his eyes.
"This… this I must see. You have convinced me. I will come with you."
"Asshole." America muttered, beet red, "I happen to be very charismatic and a great orator. Now, what can you tell me about empires? I mean, you're older than the dinosaurs, so you've got to remember all that shit about subjugation and housekeeping or whatever."
Russia was still stifling a few stray giggles but he looked at America and started laughing again, even harder.
"It depends on a nation's citizens, America." Lithuania ventured, remembering his own "subjugation and housekeeping" stint with a slight tremor. America had never been truly invaded or occupied long term, and he had fought the majority of his wars over foreign soil, so of course he wouldn't know the crippling feeling, the terror, or the shame. At most he had felt the pain of war and the frustration of losing, but at the end of the day he could always go home and be his own nation. "As long as they view themselves as citizens of a nation then that nation will continue to exist, even if the nation is under the rule of another. It is very hard to dissolve a nation."
"But Prussia disappeared."
Lithuania was surprised that America even remembered the albino nation, although he had been a key player in declaring Prussia no longer a country. Although he might just remember the glory of tossing candy out of a plane to the starving nation.
"I can only assume the last Prussian finally died." Lithuania offered. He wasn't sure how this conversation was even remotely helpful.
"Cool, so nobody's actually dead. That's a relief. Well, time to go rescue Mattie and everyone. Then I can go mind my business in peace, right? This empire business is totally bogus and wrong." America glared at Russia briefly before adding, "Besides, it's pretty pathetic to compare England to my states, right? I mean, not to diss my states, but I totally rule over them."
Russia, who had recovered himself, giggled even more. Lithuania tried not to roll his eyes. America had control over his states like a dog walker with fifty rabid poodles on leashes.
"Okay, we need to get this show on the road!" America said, happily slinging an arm over Lithuania's shoulder and adjusting Texas on his nose. Lithuania sighed, hoping he wasn't planning on ringing the doorbell.