Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight characters, I have borrowed them by the fantastic Stephenie Meyer.

Hi. I'm here with the tenth chapter. :) I'm really excited for the eleventh chapter, actually. You'll know when you read it tomorrow, the 19th of August. ) The last chapter got quite short, and I'm sorry for that, but this will be as long as the others are. And I'm sorry if I have spelled anything wrong. :) The normal length I write in a chapter is around 2000 words, or 2500 words.

Ready, set, READ!

Chapter 10. Forgiving

EPOV.

I think about people quite alot. I like to think 'people' instead of myself, because most of the times, that I think, I think of people instead of me. It makes it so much easier to think. So.. people have to forgive and forget things that has happend in the past or in the now to move on, but how do you do that if you have deep scars form the happening? And how do you move on if you don't want to.

I have decided to visit my family. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I wake up. And then I lay wondering if you should do the right thing.. But what if the right thing makes you unhappy and miserable? I know I don't want to put another person in pain because I choose to move on. If you don't want to hurt people, and you don't want to hurt yourself, how do you do the right thing?

It took me an hour to call my mother. My own mother! I couldn't pick up the freaking phone, and dial a easy number to my mother. I feel like a coward, but I just had to get the time and work up my courage. I sighed a deep sigh and then I pressed the bottons down. Now I don't have any reason to freak out. It took four rings.

"Hi mom." I said before she even got time to answer.

"Oh Edward! I'm so happy you called. Oh honey."

"Yeah, it took some time to even call, actually. I'm so sorry mom. I know it was wrong of me to cut you all out, I didn't mean to."

"It's okey honey, I know why you did it, you have your reasons. You have had the most rough months, it's only fair to give you time to work things out!"

"I love you mom. I don't deserve your love and understanding.." I sighed.

"Of course you do honey! You have all the rights in the world to be sad and unhappy right now. You lost the most important person in the world for you, it's hard." She sighed and sobbed quietly.

"Mom, don't cry. I called to ask you something." I took a deep breath and held it.

"Yes honey?"

"Plase, can I come home and live with you for a while?"

Silence, not a good sign. It was quiet for a little while longer, and then I heard my mother begining to sob again. "Mom, it's okey. I don't have to come home, I just want to." I sighed and tears began to build in the corner of my eyes.

"Of course you can come home honey! That's why I'm crying. I never thought you would ask!" I blinked the tears away and smiled a little. God, it felt good! I haven't smiled in many months. Not an actual happy-smile.

"Thank you so much mom. I love you. Can I come down tomorrow?"

"Sure you can honey. I love you too. See you tomorrow." I smiled a bit more.

"Thanks mom. Bye." I hung up after that, missing mine and Bella's game we used to play. Who could hang up the phone first? I miss her...

Time for packing and nothing more than feeling realived to get home again. Our apartment don't feel like home anymore. Once before, I could call it home, but a piece in the puzzle is missing. Someone to share my ex-home with. My ex-home for now.

I miss being a part of loving for real and I miss being a part of happiness. Right now, I don't have time to feel pity for myself. I have to pack my things and go to bed. I don't want to get late to my family reunion.

I woke up around nine this morning, feeling nervous. I don't know why I feel nervous to meet my family again.. It's probably because I haven't seem them in two months now. I think this weekend will be great, though.

I ate my breakfast, cereals and milk, and threw on some clothes, a botton up shirt and a pare of jeans. Then I took my bags and walked out of our apartment, turned around and locked it, hopefully forever. Well, I can't hide from it forever, but I hope this is the last time I have to lock it up in a while.

The drive was easy, airy and nice. I bought some snacks to have during the drive and got on the road. Along the way I drove past a car crash, and that made me breake down, I cryed almost all the way to Port Angeles and then I sat wiping my eyes every five minutes and then I saw the sign that said; The city of Forks, welcomes you.

That made me smile a little again, and it felt just as good as the last time. I arrived at my parents house five minutes later. I got out of the car, I decided to leave my bags for now, I took a deap breath and walked up to the front porch and walked in. I didn't want to knock on the door, that would feel awkward.

"Oh Edward! I have missed you so much honey!" My mom cried as I walked into the livingroom.

"Hey mom. I've missed you too. Where's Alice? I really have to talk to her.." I gave my mother a hug and then I kissed her cheek.

"She's upstairs on her room." I smiled and nodded once, then I walked into the kitchen and said hello to my father, then I walked upstairs to Alice. I knocked on her door once, I wanted to surprise her so I didn't say anything.

"Yes?" Alice said, and then I walked in. "EDWARD!" She squealed. "Oh, Edward! I've missed you so, so, so, so and so much!" She jumpud up from her bed and into my arms that was waiting for her. I hugged her tight and buried my head into her spiky hair.

"I have missed you so much Alice, I can't believe I did this to you. I've hurt you, will you ever forgive me?" She nodded several times and turned her head and kissed my cheek once more.

"Of course I do Edward. Don't ever think that I hate you, because I don't. Okey?"

"Thank you Alice. I love you, and I need to talk to you!" I put her down on her feet again and smiled at her. All this smiling makes me feel good! I can't believe I didn't notice it before when I experienced real happiness.. That thought made my smile fade.

"Aww, Edward." Alice said sadly. "I need to talk to you too. I hate seeing you so sad." She smiled a sad smile.

"I know, I don't look into the mirror anymore. I'm afraid of what I'll see." I looked down and admired my shoes.

"C'mon, let's go and have dinner with mom and dad!" Alice said enthusiastically, to lighten the mood. "Ok." I whispered back. We walked down, hand in hand, together and into the kitchen where are parents were waiting.

"Hey kids." Dad smiled. He and mom was sitting at our little dining table, wich was full of barbecued food.

"Hi mom," Alice said and kissed Esme's cheek. "Hi dad." She walked over to Carlisle and gave him a hug. "Hello pumpkin." We sat down and ate. During dinner, we talked alot, only bright convesations. No one mentioned Bella, but of course Alice asked, she's so worried.

"No.." I answered. "She's still.. not awake." I put my fork on the plate and looked away. I didn't want to speak about it. It would only make me cry again. And I promised myself in the car that I wouldn't cry during this week.

"Okey, who wants desert?" Our mother asked. We just looked at her, it was obvious. "Oh, right. I don't need to ask, stupid me. I have forgotten about that habit of ours." She laughed a bit and we laughed with her. Or, Alice and dad did, I just smiled a little, still a little raw about the turn that our conversation had taken.

Our mother walked out with our plates and then after a few moments, she came out with a key lime pie. "EEEEEE! Yummy, key lime pie. Two pieces for me please!" Alice started to bouns up and down in her shair, she's adorable. We all laughed at her, I had to join this time. She's so sweet, and she is suposed to be my big sister. We ate a piece each, but of course Alice had to take another one.

After a while, I noticed that we were a person short. "Hey, where's Jasper?" I furrowed my eyebrows, I was confused. I didn't point out that we were actually two people short. I didn't want to bring up the subject again.

"Oh, he had to work." She looked a little disappointed. "It's okey, though. He said he was sorry, and that he really wanted to come." She smiled a little, he must have done something to her that I rather not picture in my head. Ugh.

"Okey," I said simply. We had really fun later that night. We played memory and we talked ha whole lot. Alice didn't know that I'm planning to stay here for a while, so I decided to surprise her. We were up at my room, talking and stuff. Catching up.

"Hey Alice, do you want to know a secret?" I smiled.

"What?" She asked and her whole face lit up. She loves secrets.

"I'm moving home to mom and dad for a while!" I smiled and she smiled back.

"Oh, Edward! That's great, but..." She looked concerned about something.

"What?"

"How are you planning to see... uhm.. ah. Bella?" She looked away. I thought about it for a while. I hadn't been thinking about that, actually. It doesn't matter if I see her, it will be okey if Charlie and Renee calls me to tell me some new, if there is any, and tell me that they still have her plugged to the respirator.

"It will probably be okey if Charlie and Renee calls me every friday as they have done every week for the last month." I sighed and she looked up again. "I don't have any reasons to wisit her... anymore. I just- I.." I turned my head away from her, and I could feel tears began to burn and threatening to flow over.

"Shh," Alice said and got up, hugging me. "It's okey, I know. Shh." We sat on my bed and she held me when I was crying and explaining why I couldn't take it anymore. I told her that I wanted her to go and talk to Bella sometimes when she got the chance, and tell her about my decisions, because I know that I can't do it myself.

Some night I wake up and picture Bella standing infront of me, blaming me for leaving her. I know that Bella would understand if she was awake, but if she was awake I wouldn't have to leave her. I wouldn't have to move on, because she would be here and there with me all the time. No regrets, no going back.

Telling Alice this was the hardest thing I have ever done, except for making these decisions that I told her about. She asked if I had found someone new, and I told her the truth.

"No, there will never be anyone else for me then Bella. I will never be able to feel this way again, it's over. I can't control it."

"I understand, but you don't know that yet. You haven't met all the worlds women." I got a little mad when she said that, I looked up at her with teary eyes and spoke a little harder, if you get what I mean.

"Alice, how would you do if the situation was reversed? If you were the one who had to make the choice by leaving the love of your life? Even though she is practically dead? Would you leave Jasper for someone else that you know you wont love as much as you love him? If you don't want to hurt that someone new, by telling that someone you loved someone else even more, because you want someone to be there and support you, how do you do it then?"

She looked down at me chocked. Wow, I never thought I would say that out loud. I have been thinking about it for so long, but I know that it's the truth. It's the rough, hard truth. Over and out.

There you have the tenth chapter! Sorry that I'm so freaking late with it! The most of you will read it tomorrow, or, today actually, August the 19th. Well, the eleventh chapter will be out today night! ^^

Just so you know, my school starts the 23th and then I will probably not be able to keep the chapters rolling day by day, but I'll try my very hardest! I promise you on that. :) Bye.

ANN PLEASE, REVIEW PLEASE! x)