AN: Here you go! Please enjoy and review. Thank you for reading!

Chapter 10: Somebody That I Used to Know is Better as a Song Than An Actuality

I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom of As The Page Turns, while fluffing the curls that I painstakingly placed in my hair. The push up bra that Jess conned me into buying was pushing my breasts up and out of my navy wrap dress that I had bought before Edward left, but had never worn. Jasper was picking me up after I finished up at the store to head to Seattle. I was attempting to look my best, even after shelving books all morning.

I stared at my frowning face as I felt the pulsating throbbing of my brain from that wicked grape juice that I sucked down last night. I had nightmares most nights, but I swore that the wine brought my worst memories to light. Of course, it might be simply be that the anticipation of the possibility of new romance was bringing to the forefront my biggest worries about being intimate again. Which didn't explain Barney and Elmo, but that might have been because I find those talking animals horrifying just like my final memories of my time with Edward.

When Edward left he pushed me into a very bad place of self-doubt and hatred. The sweet boy who caressed me and whispered loving words into my ears when he entered me had disappeared with his cruel words. The loving husband that brushed my body with gentle kisses had morphed into a sneering monster that crushed my feelings of worth. I was left by him as a shell of my former self, but before last night I felt that I had moved past my previous incarnations of subservient girlfriend and betrayed wife to a stronger version of myself.

Unfortunately, I found that this date with Jasper was making all of my bitter thoughts resurface. What if I was really boring in bed? Maybe, I would just lay there like a lump? Even worse, could I be reading way too much in the situation and Jasper didn't want to get closer in a romantic fashion. Was his kiss just a very inappropriate friend kiss? Did I perhaps move my head and made a simple cheek kiss into something more? The very worst possibility was that Jasper was trying to get a rise out of Esme and Carlisle? Would he do that to me?

I burst out of the small bathroom trying to distance myself from my confusion and ran head first into old Mrs. Cope. As i tried to right myself on those destructive heels, the old battle ax yelled, "You have no manners, girl? You stink up the ladies lavatory?"

"Mrs. Cope, Bella did nothing wrong! Stop hovering around the bathroom, because you think you own it." Jessica pointed her finger at the cranky widow. She stood with Angela at checkout counter and grinned at me. "You look smokin', sexy!"

Angela took the tortoise shell glasses perched on top of her dark hair like a headband and placed them on her face giving me a critical look. I squeaked at her, "I know it is a bit low cut, but it's not you know whore of Babylon territory."

"I was going to say you look lovely, Bell," Angela sweetly smiled. She really was a good friend. Then her face quickly turned to a stern look. "I just want to remind you to keep those legs crossed, until Mr. Whitlock puts a ring on it!"

Jessica started guffawing as I stammered, "Are you kidding me! This is a first date! If you could consider it a date and not the usual hanging out that we normally do."

"I would consider that 'usual hanging out' to be dates. You and Jasper have been on hundreds of unofficial dates. The looks you two give each other are practically sinful. I pray for the both of you nightly," Angela pointed out as she went through receipts at the register.

A gruff voice chimed in, "I second that statement about keeping those legs crossed, kid. You do look very pretty. Like your mama, but without the crazy. I would add some sweatpants to that dress, though. Also, a thick, oversized sweater would be helpful."

"Thanks Daddy. I think I'll pass on the sweatpants and sweater combo, though." I smiled at him then realized that his visit was far later than usual. "You're a little late for lunch."

"Right...well...I thought it would be best to have a chat with young Jasper and make sure these sleeping arrangements in Seattle are kosher. I think it might be a good idea for the boy to see how nicely I clean my gun."

"Jesus, Dad! Cut it out!"

Angela shoved the curse jar into my face. "A dollar to the curse jar, Bella for saying our savior's name in vain."

Jessica pulled the jar from Angela's hand, "Give it a break, Angie. Shouldn't you be mourning Santorum quitting the presidential race?"

"What!" Angela cried grabbing her IPhone and started reading an article on her phone, muttering, "I swear if that Democrat in disguise gets the nomination..."

"Thanks, Jess! She' eating up all my profits with that stupid, swear jar."

"I know, right! She's taking all my strip club money," Jessica agreed. Then her eyes widened as the bell on the door rang out. "I knew that lunchtime was way too easy. I guess they wanted front row seats to your night out."

I looked towards the door and saw Esme and Carlisle rushing in. Huge smiles lit up their faces, as they rushed towards me. Carlisle stopped in front me and announced, "We have a magnificent surprise for you. You'll never believe it!"

I had never seen Carlisle excited about anything in reference to me; so to say it made me nervous was an understatement. He was always judgmental about the choices that Edward and I made. He was a big reason that there was an underlying tension in. my marriage. Carlisle was a jerk. I was about to tell him where he could shove his excitement, when Esme added, "The timing couldn't be more perfect, Bella darling! You look pretty today. It's the perfect outfit for today. It illustrates that it's the perfect time to get you back on track with your life. Oh shoot! I told them to wait outside until I could talk to you first. Children never listen to their mothers!"

My eyes widened and shock, as a blur of couture entered the room and grabbed me with force. "Bella! Oh my god, how ARE you? Why are you dressed up? Where is your hoodie? God, James can you just stop hovering! Grab a book and pretend you can comprehend something other than Playboy."

I looked behind the dark haired waif at a leering blond that stood next to us. He gave me a creepy look and licked his lips, which made me feel dirty. That must be the fiancé. Alice's taste went downhill fast when she left Jasper.

I pulled away from Alice and gave her an angry glare, as Jessica pulled to her side and said, "I think it would be best if you left. Bella has things to do and they definitely don't include you, bitch."

"She's my best friend, Jess..."

"Bitch, please. The only friend you have is your own self-centered self," Jess interrupted. She waved at Angela. "Just add those to my curse word tab, Ang. I'm sure I will have quite a total by the end of the day."

I rubbed Jessica's arm. "I'm okay. I can handle this."

Which I thought I could until a silky voice said, "Hello there, Isabella."

I looked over to see Edward standing before me with his wild, bronze hair and perfect body. He wore the staple suit that millions saw him wearing on the nightly national news as the ABC medical expert. I wanted to launch at him and in turn punch and kiss him passionately, until I saw his companions. My ex-husband was sandwiched between two big breasted blondes that looked like they came out of a Frederick's of Hollywood catalogue. What a pig.

"I...I...oh flying fuck," I replied at his greeting.

Charlie shook off his shock and rushed over with a yell, "You better get the hell out of here, boy! I have a bullet with your name on it! Aren't you glad daddy brought his gun, Sweetie."

"Shit. Shit. Shit," Jessica said. She grabbed Charlie and pulled him over to a table, as I stared wide eyed at Edward muttering curse words. "You sit here and keep your mouth shut and your gun in your pants. That's kind of funny. Never mind. This is her business, Charlie. She can handle this!"

Jessica rushed over to my side and whispered, "Calm down, Bella. You are acting like you have Tourette's."

"It's just the shock," I whispered back. I stood straighter and pushed my enhanced boobs up and out. Thank goodness for push up bras. I said loudly to Edward. "You and your...friends need to leave. I have the right to refuse service to whoever I wish."

"Don't be silly child, Isabella. I am just here for a chat," Edward stated looking annoyed.

I started to laugh angrily, "You don't get to say that I am being a silly. We aren't married anymore and your thoughts on my childishness aren't appreciated. Soo...fuck you, dumb head!"

I grabbed my purse and searched for a dollar.

Angela gave me a quick hug and removed my hand from my purse. "It's on the house. Next time I might suggest not using the name 'dumb head'. It was somewhat childish."

I glared at Angela, and then turned my gaze at the man that I had loved and possibly still loved. What are the chances that today, of all the days, that he would show up at my store? That's when heard a happy giggle behind us and looked over to see my former mother-in-law beaming. Esme set this up to ruin my date with Jasper!

I looked at her and exclaimed, "Did you do this on purpose, Esme? You are such a bitch. Crap, I only have twenties. Do you have change, Angela? Forget it."

I stuff a twenty dollar bill in the jar. I'm sure that will about cover my language for this fucked up day.