I'm alone. No one's coming. No one cares. They lied. They said they were my family. They lied. How could they? How? Years I waited, then they lead me on, just to hurt me. I'll never be free. I'm alone.
I can hear his voice. He's calling me. He needs me to help him, to save me, ironic huh? The great Naru needs my help for once. I would laugh if it wouldn't hurt, but alas it will, so I won't.
I'm messed up. It's hard to keep focused on him. The darkness keeps trying to drag me back into it. Into the pain and fear so that I can listen to that voice and give in. well tough. I'm lucid, for once, well kinda, and I'm gona show you what I can do.
I can see him through the bars of my cage, he's slightly too far away the idiot. Oh well, let's see if I can't fix that. I'm calling him, my voice echoing, giving him a rope so I can drag him down. What do you want to know sweet Naru? What do you want to see? What do you need to feel?
I already know everything. I've been here years it wasn't hard to figure out a lot about the man, as he has been named. Could have been a tad more original but hey, why ditch what works?
Show you where I am? I'll show you more than that. You abandoned me. You left me. You hurt me. So I'll hurt you. So what if it'll make me darker, I'm too broken to care.
The darkness clears as I create the door and lead him through into the smooth white walls and wooden floors, at least The Man had taste. He's talking, something about how he redecorated this stupid place, about how the screams drew him in. I heard it all before, obviously, it's my memory.
Naru's looking at me, I'm smiling. I hate him, he never came, I hate him. But I don't want to hurt him. How sad is that? It's pathetic, that's what it is. After all this time, I waited and now he's finally coming. He shouldn't. I should tell him to run, snap the memory away and force him out while screaming that I love him, pray he understands and I die here like I was borne to. I won't through, I want to live. Cause I'm selfish. Screw survival instincts and what-not. I WANT TO LIVE. Please, come save me Naru.
This memory has served its point. I don't want him to see more than he has to. He doesn't need to know about what happened. He's already blaming himself, he should, I wish he wouldn't. He's making me confused. Fuck him. He hurt me. He has no right to do this to me. To make me feel so dam hopeful. To make me believe that I'll live. It hurts.
I'll show him something that will tear him apart. I'll punish him. I'll break him, then he'll be just like me.
I can't take it anymore. Every day he touches me like I'm something to be treasured, tucked away where only he can love me, a work of art, nothing more. It hurts. I want it to stop. I know the deal I made with him, I won't run and he won't hurt them, but I can't take it anymore. I tried for months, to give in and forget, but I can't. I'm so sorry, please forgive me.
My legs hurt, I haven't eaten in three days, I'm so tired, but I can't sleep. That's the worse torture, every time I close my eyes I'm dying over and over again, what will happen and what has happened merge into a monster of grief and pain. I wish I was blind, so I'd never have to see it ever again. I still hear the screams, feel the pain, beg for death. I have to run. I'm so sorry.
I can hear the sound of my feet pounding on the forest floor, I think they might be bleeding, doesn't matter. Even if there's pain I can't feel it, my body's gone numb.
Keep running. I'm almost there. Ten miles away from that place, there's a house, I know I'm almost there. I can sense it. There are people there, two feel familiar … I can't tell who they are yet, too tired, so tired.
Breathing is agonising. Lungs, throat, mouth. Everything hurts. The air is like acid, burning me from inside out. I probably hit the wall about ten times by now. I don't think I can keep going much longer. I just have to.
I can see it. The house. There's a van out front. A TV crew. MASAKO! She's right there. AND MONK! I'M SAVED! I'M SAVED! I'M SAVED!
Pain erupted as my hair is grabbed and pulled. I try to scream but my throat closes up. His arms wrap around me. His breath's on my neck. The screaming fills my head, blood starts to coat my skin. Rotten flesh and metal blood fills my nose. It's disgusting. Let go let go let go let go let go.
"Hello again my love, I missed you." He kissed my neck, I can feel the infection spreading through me from it, I want to throw up.
He isn't trying to stop me screaming. Wait, why aren't I screaming. I can feel them, silent screams trying to break out of me, but they can't get passed my throat. Why? Why? Just make a noise. Something. PLEASE. ANYTHING! JUST MAKE A SOUND!
"Shhh, little Mai. Don't worry, they won't take you away from me."
what?
"They understand that you belong here."
NO!
MASAKO. MONK. LOOK OVER HERE. PLEASE! MONK! SAVE ME! JUST LOOK! SOMEONE! PLEASE! PLEASE! MONK! MASAKO! SOMEONE!
They're leaving. NO. Don't. Please. Don't leave me. No.
WAIT .. Masako turned around. She's looking. MASAKO! MASAKO! MASAKO!
NO!
She looked … she looked straight at me … she looked. "Don't worry, I'll let you rest soon." NO Masako, I'm not a spirit. Masako. PLEASE. Just look again, just one more time. I'm here. I'm right here. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME MASAKO!
NO.
NO.
no
I don't understand. There were right there. Why? How? No. please. They were right there. Why? You're my family. Why? Save me. No one's going to. Save me. I'm alone.
That's not true.
I'm his.
I'm crying. At that stupid memory. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Don't look at me like that Naru. You should be crying. HURT. IN PAIN. Why are you looking at me like that?
Don't look at me.
I'm broken.
Shit. What did I just do? I just let it … the darkness.. I'm losing it. oh no. oh no. I'm losing myself.
I'm so sorry Naru. I'm so sorry. So sorry. Please forgive me. I should never have called you. I should never have done this. It's too late Naru. I'm so sorry.
It's too late.