A/N: Ok so even though I said this as just for fun some of you think I'm character bashing. Like I said I respect everyones opinion. I'm not a huge fan of Sakura, Sasuke, and Temari, but I'm not letting my dislike of them ruin this fic. I can honestly say there are bad and GOOD qualities to all Naruto characters...well most of them anyway, and that includes the ones I DON'T LIKE. and its that that will keep me from making this fic and all out character bash. Some stories will seem like they target characters, but its different for every character and how popular they are, especially with OTHER characters. Now, to end my rant, I know everyone has their opinions so I'm sorry if it seems like I'm doing something I dont intend, but know its only for fun and entertainment. Heres a shikamaru one. Remember, this is just for fun, please dont take offense, and ENJOY!
Chapter 10: Shikamaru
Dear Naruto Fanfiction Authors,
Man, what a drag. Ino and Temari teamed up and are forcing me to write this stupid letter to comment on your fanfictions.
To be honest, I read some of them, and I think you guys are seriously nuts. While I do like that most of you keep me in character and complement my IQ, there are some things I need to address.
Like first. There is NOTHING absolutely NOTHING going on with Temari and myself. I mean, women are too weird for me to understand. Besides, I don't really want to deal with her brothers. It'll be too troublesome.
Speaking of women, heres the list of women I'm NOT interested in that you pair me with: Sakura, Ino, Temari, Tayuya, Hinata, Kin, and Kurenai.
Hold on a minute, I need to say this now. I will NEVER EVER EVER see Kurenai as more than just a sensei. She was Asuma's girlfriend. Why would I even THINK to do that?
Next, who the hell came up with ShikaHina? What kind of crack pairing is that? Sure she's alright I guess but...thats as far as I go with that. It's too troublesome to go any deeper.
And Tayuya? Really? I mean...just because we fought doesn't mean anything. That's about it. We earned eachothers respect through combat, and you guys think we're meant to be. I just...don't get you people.
I already ranted about Temari but let me say it again incase you missed it, NOTHING GOING ON! That includes you Naruto, I know it takes a little extra push to get things through your head.
What a drag...
I don't like Sakura either. I mean, just like Hinata she's never really given me a reason to take a second look. Too troublesome. Besides I really don't like that temper of hers...I have enough with these blondes...
Temari: Excuse me?
Ino: Just because we don't have your IQ doesn't mean we still can't think for ourselves!
Temari: Or beat you to a pulp!
See what I mean? What a drag...
And as for Ino, we are Ino-Shika-Cho. We are the best of friends. We are teammates. And that it. Just because she usually leaves her body to me when she mind-transfers doesn't mean sh*t. Point blank and simple. Chouji's jutsus require him to move, mine don't. It's only common sense she stick with me.
As for Kin? No, didn't find her attractive at all. I actually thought she was pretty stupid for forgetting there was a wall behind her. Simple minds these days, and I thought Naruto was bad...
Now, another issue that's troublesome for me is...*shudders* yaoi.
Let's get this straight, right now. Just because I think women are complicated, doesn't mean I'm gay. Or bi. Or ANYTHING.
Let's go through that list, shall we? Hidan, Naruto, Neji, Kiba, Asuma, Chouji and Sasuke.
I mean, do you guys enjoy pairing me with people? What a drag...
First things first, I've never liked Sasuke. But he was from Konoha, so I'd try my best to bring him home. I mean, I don't have the connection him and Naruto have, but we're the rookie nine, friends til the end, right?
And now I know how Naruto feels about those SasuNaru or NaruSasu fics. Chouji and I are best friends. There's nothing going on between us, besides the fact I completely trust him. FRIENDS. The end.
Except we all know Naruto and Sasuke are gay for each other...but Chouji and I are not.
And Asuma...seriously? He's my sensei! He taught me almost everything I know. Yes I was heartbroken when he died, yes I killed Hidan as revenge, but you would too if someone killed your teacher and closest friend. There's no romance here. His only romance is with Kurenai.
And Kiba...another crack pairing. The only thing we have in common is that we're the rookie nine. I guess that makes us all friends but...I just don't understand how you even came up with that.
As for Neji...I can kinda see your thought process, being that we were both deemed geniuses, but thats about as far as that relationship goes.
And Naruto? UGH! Now you're really pushing it. No just...no okay? Close friends maybe but, no. Nothing romantic there. Sure we trust each other. I mean, he is the main character, and is really strong. But...no.
Last but certainly not least...Hidan. Like Tayuya, I know alot of you like to think enemies fall in love or something, but with him it was all about revenge. I didn't pull a Sasuke and run away or anything, but I couldn't wait to avenge Asuma. He got what he deserved. No romance, at all. Got it?
Hmm, thinking about it...I guess Hidan and Tayuya would make a good couple...they are similar.
Tayuya: Hey, scumbag! Don't start encouraging those f***ing people! I have my own rant to do!
Hidan: HEY! SAME HERE YOU ***hole! You're going to get me angry, and when I get angry-
Alright I get it.
Anyway, if you are going to complain about my laziness...you must really be stupid. Laziness is my thing. Just because YOU'RE lazy doesn't make you a genius. I'm too smart for this sh*t. *flips table*
What a drag...
Shikamaru Nara.