X: But Before I Go
A/N: Here we are, gentle readers, the lovely chapter I know a lot of you were waiting for, and it was a great relief for me to finish for you. I hope you enjoy it! We're getting close to the end of this little story, believe it or not. I'm deciding now whether I want to continue it past my original vision, or stop where I'd planned to. But in either case, i think you'll like it.
Thanks, as always, to my lovely beta killer-elephants, who got to keysmash at me more than usual this chapter.
~M
Warning: A LOT of sex between two very consenting women below. If you don't wish to read the smut, feel free to skip to the next break.
...
"Please... I want to forget."
Emma didn't immediately pull away when she leaned in for a second kiss. She kept her eyes open and she saw the genuine distress in the other woman's gaze, felt the way her lips trembled with every exhalation against her own. Without knowing how or why she had begun to actually kind of care about Regina, her arms were tightening around the brunette's hips, pulling her in for an embrace that was less about arousal and more about comforting.
She was nearly at a loss, knowing that just about a thousand things had to be going through Regina's head right now. When she felt the woman in her arms begin to shake with fresh sobs, the memory of what she'd heard happen in Gold's office stirred like a rousing snake, venomous and deadly in her mind. She felt her own tears begin to well, but blinked them back. "Regina," she sighed, "this isn't what you need."
Regina didn't respond verbally, but tears were streaking down her cheek when she pulled herself closer to the blonde. She began to trail a string of kisses down Emma's cheek, heading towards her collarbone.
"We really shouldn't," Emma murmured, but did nothing to halt the progression of Regina's lips down her neck, nipping and sucking on her pulse point. Her head fell to the side, her breathing now coming in gulping lungfuls of air. "Regina..." she murmured, and she tried to make it sound more like an advisement and less than a moan. "We should sto-"
"Please," Regina repeated, actually whimpering now. "Make me forget." She detested how vulnerable she was feeling. How fragile she had to be appearing. But countless encounters before now had taught her to use just about every tool she had to get what she wanted; it was why she was so good at manipulating others. And she could use this to her advantage, if she had to. With a sobering inhale, her sobs fell away, her breathing evening out. She pulled back a little to look directly into green eyes so very full of conflict. What she saw shocked her to her very core.
Emma desired her; that much was obvious. She was repeatedly trying to tell Regina to stop not because she didn't want her, but because she didn't want to hurt her. She earnestly seemed to not have another agenda. Regina didn't quite know how to take that. She didn't know anyone else who didn't at least want this of her for their own reasons. Her throat was dry when she tried to speak the first time. Swallowing, she tried again. "I want this," she whispered against Emma's lips, and she was shocked to discover that it was actually true. Her eyes held no deception when they poured into Emma's. "Emma... I need this."
The resulting kiss from the blonde caught her by surprise. Before, Regina had tried to keep herself in check, to keep her explorations of Emma's closed lips shy and uncertain. Emma, when instigating, had no such shyness. A shiver ran its way up Regina's spine, her body trembling in a surge of sensual need. She was so used to being the one to dominate things after one of her... sessions with Gold. With Mal or whoever else, sex happened on her terms, with her being the seductress. It was a role she played well. But as her own lips parted to Emma's tongue and the kiss deepened into a deeper, wetter, more demanding sort of play, she felt herself giving in. Her body curved next to Emma's, eliminating all sense of space between the two of them. Their tongues arched together, alternating between dueling for supremacy and exploring the other's feel and taste.
Slowly, olive fingers snaked up to the lapels of Emma's blue jacket. Regina broke the kiss, beginning to tug the jacket down and watching the blonde intently. If Emma was going to protest again, now would be the time she'd do it. Instead, the jacket hit the floor in a careless fling of motion, Emma's arms immediately returning to encircle Regina's waist and pull her close again, pressing kisses to the column of her throat. "If this is what you need," she heard the blonde murmur against her skin, "then I'm not going to refuse you."
Regina laughed, then, a hollow, haunting sound that Emma could feel reverberating through her neck as she kissed it. "Is that how you're rationalizing this?" the brunette questioned, her hands digging in to the bare, muscled flesh of Emma's shoulders. "A pity fuck?" she didn't pull away, not exactly. But Emma watched her eyes as Regina seemed to close herself off, the wall that hid her emotions coming back into existence.
She shook her head quickly, running her fingers lightly over the sensitive area at the small of Regina's back. "That isn't what I meant," she recanted, honestly. "I want you. God, I want you, Regina. I've wanted you since that first morning when you answered your door in little more than lace. Certainly when I fucking flirted with you at your club." She kissed her way around to the nape of the other woman's neck, nipping just a little, trying to bring Regina back. She wanted this, yes, but only if Regina wanted her for her, and not just because she was here. Enough had been taken away from the brunette without her truly wanting it, Emma knew. For this, she wanted Regina to be very willing.
The darker woman sighed at the touch, her head leaning forward to rest on Emma's shoulder. Her hands slid over the defined muscles of Emma's arms, running down to twist into the fabric of her ever-present white tank. "You did, didn't you?" Her fingers slipped beneath it, beginning to stroke against trembling, hidden flesh. She felt Emma's tongue travel the length of her collarbone, a trail of nips and fevered kisses forcing her head to the side and a pleasured gasp to work its way out of her mouth. She was no longer retreating, her attention and desire held in this moment. Emma wanted her for no other reason than because she wanted her. And she actually cared enough to double-check, even now, that that was the same reason Regina herself wanted this. She felt a surge of fresh desire bubble in her lower body. "Emma," she breathed, and the use of her name pulled the blonde's attention away from her neck. "The bedroom."
Stepping back enough to untangle her arms from around the brunette, Emma shot her a grin, and then grasped her hand in a gesture that said both 'I'm here for you' and 'I want you.' Tugging lightly, she pressed a kiss to the very inside of Regina's wrist, and then pulled the darker woman in the direction of the room that she was slowly coming to consider hers. At least for now. As she dropped Regina's hand to tug the door open, Regina slid her body forward, pressing herself close against the blonde's backside with enough force that the door slammed shut again, Emma's chest pressed against it. "No," Regina muttered, a hand gathering the curling gold of Emma's hair away from the back of her neck so that she could string molten kisses of her own along her nape. "My bedroom," she nearly growled, and sunk her teeth into the pale skin. She wanted Emma, and she wanted to forget, and she would be ruthless in that goal until she did.
Gasping, Emma felt her knees promptly turn to jelly. She leaned heavily against the door to her room, bracing her palms on its cool surface to steady herself. Regina was marking her, she knew, but she couldn't be bothered to care. Besides, no one would see as long as she wore her hair down. She felt hands dipping beneath her tank top again, felt Regina's teeth lessen a bit as those hands curved up to cup the swells of her breasts. Wonderful as it felt, Emma forced herself to push off from the door, turning herself around to face the other woman once more. They had to stop here, or they'd never make it to the bedroom. She gave a gentle shove to Regina's shoulders, guiding the other woman back one stumbling step. "Lead the way," she offered.
Eyes widening, Regina understood the full implication of those three words. Even now, Emma was still giving her a choice. She felt her heart pound faster and harder at the knowledge, a soft smile tugging at the edges of her lips. It was her turn to tug the blonde towards her and to her bedroom, her turn to pull away for a moment to open the door to her room. She paused, once entering, to drop Emma's hand and move to the bed to actually turn down the sheets. Emma found it almost endearing.
She also took advantage of the moment to spin the darker woman around and once again possess her mouth. Regina's lips widened into the kiss, a soft 'ah' of pleasure escaping into the blonde's mouth. Emma sucked lightly on Regina's lower lip, slid her tongue deeply into the warm, accepting mouth. Finally tearing herself away from those lips, kiss-swollen and pink, Emma's eyes were burning with her desires. It was frightening, almost, how much she wanted this.
Not to be outdone, Regina once more brought her attention slightly lower, nuzzling into the soft, sensitive spot beneath Emma's ear. "Emma," she purred, and her hands once more strayed to the base of the tank top, this time curling her fingers around and lifting it to reveal inch after tantalizing inch of her stomach. All she could think about in this moment was to lose herself in the forbidden fruit that Emma was offering to her. In her mind, she could already picture the blonde spread out on her sheets, writhing in all her naked glory as Regina buried her head between the thighs currently hidden by jeans.
As if reading that thought, Emma grunted, "I think we're both wearing too much." Her voice had dropped an octave, low and dark. Her hands drifted to join Regina's at her shirt, lifting the tank up and over her head. Though she desperately wanted to do much the same to Regina's dark, simple shirt, she forced herself to hold back. She still knew what the other woman had been through today, after all, and didn't want Regina to feel that she was taking too much rather than giving. She left Regina to deal with her own clothes, and focused her attention on the cumbersome process of pulling off her jeans.
A deep furrow danced its way across Regina's brow as Emma refused to aid in her disrobing, until realization dawned. She smiled, understanding the motive but disagreeing with it, and reached across the distance to the blonde to draw Emma's hands away from herself and to the top button of her shirt. She didn't say 'please,' but the intent was definitely there in her eyes. Her own hands dropped to replace Emma's at her jeans, popping the button open and dragging down the zipper.
Smiling with her own understanding, Emma methodically undid each button of Regina's shirt, pausing to stop the brunette from tugging down her jeans so she could divest her of the garment fully, leaving them both down to their bras. Kicking away her pants, Emma was left only in her red panties- the same she'd worn what felt like years ago when Regina had knocked on her door at Granny's, and a plain white bra. As Regina's pants likewise fell away, the blonde let her eyes roam approvingly over the wide expanses of olive skin. She'd seen it before, of course, but couldn't help but run the tips of her fingers over Regina's stomach, deceptively muscular from years of pole dancing.
The touch sent shivers racing through Regina and she arched her back into the touches, curling her own hands around Emma's naked midriff to run her fingernails up her spine. She pulled the blonde close against her, wanting -needing- the skin-to-skin contact, and had to moan when Emma's fingers became trapped between their bodies. Chuckling, the blonde managed to free her hands, twining them up to curl into the short locks of Regina's hair and then once more claim the tempting fullness of Regina's lips.
The kiss was tender and sweet, at least at first. Then another moan from Regina and she was deepening it, growing rougher and demanding. Regina's tongue plunged into Emma's mouth, ruthlessly coaxing pleasure as it ravaged over every inch. Not exploring, claiming. With a husky groan of her own, Emma stepped back enough to work her fingers under the still-present cups of Regina's bra, stroking through the lace and then beneath it, pulling the garment up until the soft flesh was freed. Her hands cupped the soft swells, running thumbs just under the aureoles with a needy sort of desire that made Regina gasp and arch her back further, offering up nipples already tight and aroused. With a wet pop, Emma separated from those demanding lips, locking eyes with the brunette and slowly lowering her head to suckle at one of the stiff points begging for attention.
A rough cry dragged its way out of Regina's throat as soft lips circled and sucked, Emma's tongue flicking over the tender bud of her nipple. Her fingers buried themselves in the corn silk of Emma's hair, tugging and pressing her mouth closer at the same time, Regina's head falling back with another delighted cry. A cry which only deepened when a flash of teeth suddenly nipped and grazed and sent a wave of fire burning through the brunette. "Oh, god!" she hissed, and felt the heat of her center nearly pulsing with need already. Regina wasn't exactly sure when she had fallen into a less controlling role, but found to her surprise that she honestly didn't mind sitting back and letting this unfold. Letting anyone else, even Mal, take the lead would ordinarily have been unthinkable, but she wanted this, wanted Emma, too much to worry about control. She relaxed for the first time in a very, very long time, and let it come.
It was easy, she found, to separate this- whatever this was, with Emma- from what had happened... before. And it was incredibly, almost frighteningly easy to lose herself in Emma Swan. Easier than it had ever been with Pamala Phillipson. With Mal, there was always a layer of memory that remained, a vague fuzz of why she was doing this left over. With Emma, that was quickly deteriorating, and Regina found herself lost in a haze of sensation. The only reason she was with Emma now, she felt, was because she wanted to be.
She whimpered loudly when Emma finally pulled away with a taunting exhalation over wet flesh. The nipple stiffened further as cool air rushed across it, and Emma gave a soft laugh at the sight, feeling her own desire welling ever deeper in her stomach. Leaning in again, she gave a playful nip to that delicate skin, and Regina jolted against her, a frantic yip of pleasure echoing through her room. With a sly smile, Emma decided it wouldn't do to play favorites, and brought her talented lips over to give the other breast equal attention.
Regina's knees began to buckle beneath her, unable to support herself as her body trembled under Emma's touch. With an almost regretful smile, she cupped her hand beneath Emma's chin, drawing the other woman's talented mouth away from her breast. Backing up with the blonde in her arms until her knees hit the bed, she fell back upon it, laying prostrate with her legs dangling over the side of the bed and bringing Emma down on top of her. She could think of other places she wanted that mouth, and said as much with a low groan.
Chuckling at Regina's confession, the blonde remained on her feet bent at the waist above the other woman, looking down at her with obvious intent. "I think I can arrange that," she grinned, hooking her thumbs beneath the matching lace of Regina's underwear. Arching her back to help, Regina reached behind herself and groped for the catch to her crumpled bra, finally succeeding in undoing it and letting it fall out of sight somewhere on her floor. Emma dragged the one remaining garment slowly, tauntingly down toned thighs, getting onto her knees to finally slip the panties away, bringing her at eye-level with the glistening folds of Regina's very, very aroused sex.
Unable to resist leaning in, she placed her hands gently on Regina's sensitive thighs, spreading her apart enough to allow the blonde ample room to settle between them. She exhaled playfully over the heat of Regina's sex, much as she had done to her nipples, and felt the brunette arch and cry out at the tormenting. "Emma!" she groaned, her hands falling to rest with one at the back of Emma's neck while the other once more buried itself in blonde hair.
Deciding that Regina had clearly had enough teasing for now, Emma leaned forward and quickly brought her mouth to the slick folds of Regina's sex. Dark eyes opened wide as Emma ran her tongue up the entire length of her cunt before laving and slipping inside. Emma had clearly done this before, her tongue skilled in alternating between soft, flickering caresses and lingering, broad strokes inside of her. Hips bucking, Regina gasped in wild delight, every movement feeling so utterly divine that it brought her one step closer to feeling whole and perfect again. She'd almost forgotten why she'd needed this in the first place.
Emma was busily burying her face into the soft, cloying wetness, unable to get enough of the glorious taste that was Regina. Every cry, every moan only spurred her on, until finally the quivering of hips and thighs and the panting, ragged breaths began to warn that climax was very, very close. A strangled moan burst its way past Regina's lips as she quivered beneath the blonde so busily suckling and thrusting her tongue deep- wonderfully, achingly deep inside. Every movement was bringing her closer, every flick and flutter of breath on her heated core. Emma's fingers finally came into play, rubbing gently over her lover's extended clitoris and then, teasing, pinching it. The next sound out of Regina's mouth was nearly a scream. She trembled uncontrollably, moaning out Emma's name in a ragged voice.
At last, Emma's tongue and her fingers switched places and, with a growl, Emma claimed Regina's clit with lips and teeth and tongue, fingers slipping inside her deep enough to graze each and every sensitive spot within. Regina tensed, trying to hold off, wanting to last a bit longer. With a smirk, Emma pressed over the rough, sensitive patch within the brunette, and added a third finger.
It was too much for Regina, and Emma knew it. Bucking frantically, Regina finally opened her mouth to her scream, fingers becoming tight enough to pull at the locks of hair, but Emma was not deterred. The touch, the taste, the scent, the feel of Regina coming undone beneath her was too delicious to worry about anything else.
Finally, with a gasping, shaking breath, Regina withdrew her hands from Emma's hair, reaching down to grasp her shoulders and lightly pull the blonde away from her still-spasming core. "Come here," Regina gulped, languid and boneless in that breathless way that comes just after a truly wonderful orgasm.
Smiling at the flushed skin, Emma stilled, licking her lips of the last of Regina's taste. She paused to remove her own bra and panties, finally reveling in being gloriously naked before the other woman. She stalked her way onto the bed, crawling on hands and knees up Regina's body until she was finally on level with parted, breathless lips, and then pressed her own against them once more. They opened for her immediately, and Emma took such delight in claiming them that she almost didn't notice when two tapered fingers slid slowly and stealthily between her legs and into the dripping wet of her cunt.
Almost.
Gasping with surprise into their kiss, she broke away to look down at a decidedly- smug looking Regina. And then with an arching of hips well muscled from years on the pole, Emma found herself rolled and spun until she was on her back looking up at that smirk, Regina's fingers still buried with her. Dark eyes burned down at her, pupils blown wide with desire, and Emma's breath caught in her throat, staring up with wide eyes as Regina's tongue darted out to run over her own kiss-swollen lips. It was sexy as hell but a little disconcerting, like Regina was ogling that which she was about to devour whole.
"Regina..." Emma whispered, her hands running over her lover's chest to rest on her shoulders. She gasped when the two fingers still within her began to move, crossing and uncrossing and somehow slipping deeper into her heat. Groaning, Emma's head fell back against the bed, her back arching to thrust her hips forward, demanding. "God, Regina!" she gasped again, "More." She felt a soft laugh reverberating through her chest, dark and sensual.
Regina's free hand came up to cup her chin, long fingers lightly caressing over the sides of her cheeks. "'More'?" she echoed, amused. "If you insist," she smiled, readjusting so that she was fully straddling the blonde's aching, arching hips. Her fingers pulled out of clenching walls desperate to keep them, only to slam back in a moment later and causing a higher-pitched gasp of need and desire to come spilling out of Emma's mouth.
Regina kept her movements horribly, tauntingly slow, drawing out and then pumping back in with smooth, even movements. With each thrust inside, she slid deep, deep within the blonde, loving the way Emma's inner walls tightened around her as if they never wanted her to leave.
"Regina!" Emma gasped, finally remembering her hands enough to curl them around Regina's shoulders, grasping tightly as she bucked and writhed. With every flick and twist she felt a new slew of sensation building into her, and she spread her legs wider, frantically trying to increase those feelings further still. She was getting close, she knew, but would never fall over the edge of orgasm unless Regina gave her more. "Regina," she whimpered the name this time, locking eyes and pleading with every rock of her hips. "Ple-"
"Don't!" Regina cut her off, growling loudly in her vehemence as her fingers froze within the blonde. Confused, Emma whimpered again, wide-eyed. Regina just shook her head, letting out a long, slow sigh before her fingers began to move again. "...Don't beg," Regina said, softer this time, her free hand reaching out to almost tenderly caress Emma's cheek. She bent down, adjusting her position to allow her to press another kiss to lips parted in question.
Before Emma could even ask it she felt another finger dipping between her folds. She felt Regina's tongue flicking against her lips, and opened them to it, wanting it all, wanting everything. Trembling as her need built within her, she moaned into Regina's mouth, answering the kiss as passionately as she could and wrapping sweat-slick arms around the other woman's neck, desperate for release. As a helpless puppet, Emma arched and writhed, Regina's fingers moving harder and faster inside of her, drawing out another quickly-consumed cry with each and every thrust. Gasping for breath, she continued to meet those wonderfully demanding lips, eagerly accepting Regina's tongue as it danced over every inch of her mouth, laying claim to her.
Regina drank in every cry, loving the taste of them, and finally rose her thumb to circle and then flick the sensitive nub of Emma's clit. Breaking the kiss, she pulled back to watch as ecstasy finally bloomed over Emma's face. The blonde was screaming now, her body nearly unable to cope as a wall of pleasure finally slammed into her, forcing her to convulse and suck in air in greedy, shallow inhales as her mind folded in on itself.
The thrusts continued throughout, Regina somehow needing to ensure that Emma's climax lasted as long as it possibly could. After what seemed like hours, she felt the blonde twitching as she fell away from orgasm. Almost regretfully, Regina slid her fingers out of her lover and drew back, rolling over to the side and watching Emma's chest heave as she fought to catch her breath. Unable to keep from touching her, Regina allowed her fingers to wander over that chest, her fingernails tracing little patterns along skin shining with sweat.
Slowly, Emma felt her mind return to her body, giving a soft groan before she rolled over onto her side. She leaned over, needing the closeness, and smiled as Regina shifted her shoulders to allow Emma to lay against her. She rested there for a moment, relaxing in the calm after her orgasm, allowing her energy to return before twisting to press a small kiss to the corner of Regina's mouth. As she had when this had begun, she kissed down the column of Regina's neck, this time taking a moment to nip just below the curve of her ear. She pulled back a bit, allowing her eyes to run over the naked, flushed skin of her lover. There had been multiple occasions when she'd seen almost this much of Regina before, but it almost seemed that this was the first time she could truly see her. "You're beautiful," she murmured, pressing gentle, cooling kisses to the heated skin of her neck.
"So are you."
Emma felt a firm, muscled thigh slip between her legs and groaned at the sensation, feeling her desires already building within her once again. God, this woman could be the death of her, but she arched against her anyway, wanting more. She spread her legs, her own thigh arching to rock against Regina's core, and shifted down to lay her head between her lover's breasts. The motion made it possible to feel so much of Regina against her... the heat of her sex, every quaking rise and fall of her chest. Softly, she moaned into the swell of a warm breast, pressing kisses to flesh that was once again growing stiff under her lips. Her own thigh rocked even harder into Regina, loving the friction building between her thighs.
Regina's hands slipped over her shoulders, fingernails digging into her skin enough to leave crescent-shaped imprints. "Emma..." she moaned out the name, and the blonde pressed harder against her as they rocked together. They kept the motion slow, sometimes deepening the pressure only to ease up again, both of their bodies already quaking and weak from earlier lovemaking. Finally, both releases came together, and they shook and groaned in each other's arms as their cries echoed around the room.
Panting, sweating from exertion, they both finally stilled against one another. Regina sighed contentedly and breathlessly, releasing her hold around Emma's shoulders to pull her lover close against her quaking body."I-" Regina began and then hesitated, unsure even how she wanted to end that sentence.
Smiling, Emma just pressed her lips to the other woman's chest, resting against her as their breath finally evened out together, each causing another shiver from the brunette as Emma's breath teased over her nipples. "I know," Emma sighed. "Me too." Looking up, Emma met the smoldering, pleasured eyes of her lover. She loved how Regina looked right at that moment. Dark hair that was usually so perfect lay spread in wild disarray. Her face flushed, eyes half-lidded, mouth parted in soft pants. Time itself seemed to draw to a standstill, revolving only around that perfect moment. Emma found herself possessed of a burning need to kiss the other woman again, this time perhaps until their very souls had entwined. Before she even realized it, Emma had leaned up to captured the tender softness of Regina's mouth beneath her own.
Seeing the intensity in those green eyes, so full of tenderness and caring and ...salvation, Regina felt a stirring she could not deny shake itself through her core. Fresh, unadulterated desire swept through her senses like a storm, and she met Emma's lips with everything she had. She felt strangely, wonderfully, finally at peace.
A flash of lightning burst behind her eyes when their lips finally touched, and something... shifted.
…
In his office, Gold paused with his hand poised directly over some paperwork, pen hovering, just about sign the document. The pen clattered to the desk, dropped from fingers suddenly shaking. "No," he whispered, the rest of his body as still as if it were frozen.
And then the moment shattered and he burst into action, ripping one of the drawers open so fast that most of the contents spilled out as he tore it out of his desk. The drawer itself hit the floor with a loud thud, and Gold scrambled down onto protesting knees, arm snaking deep into the back of the desk and pulling out the panel behind the discarded drawer.
The noise brought Cora running in, her mouth tightening as she saw her 'boss' fighting with the massive wooden desk. "What the hell are you-?" she began, until her eyes fell on the small yellowing scroll clenched in his hand as Gold emerged from the desk. Red lips dropped open. "No..." she echoed his earlier whisper, striding quickly forward to cover the remaining distance between them as Gold hurriedly spread the small parchment over the surface of his desk.
Before their eyes, the words were changing.
"...It's not possible."
…
Regina couldn't breathe.
Her chest constricted, sharply, painfully, and a sharp hiss was the only sound she could produce. With a desperate, choking gasp, she thrashed beneath the blonde, pulling away from her lips and clutching at her chest. If felt as though there was a fire burning in her breast, expanding and consuming her from the inside out. Her body thrashed, her mind physically unable to cope or stand a chance against the forces that were now flooding through her body, mind, and soul. Had it allowed her to draw breath, she would have screamed far louder than anything Emma so enjoyed coaxing from her.
"Oh god!" she gasped in shaking, wheezing breaths that had nothing to do with orgasms. She sat up from the bed quickly, gulping in air like it was a stiff drink. "I remember," she wheezed, eyes brimming with sudden tears that dripped in shining lines down her cheeks. "I remember everything."