Notes: Point-five between "Proxy" and "Trial And Error".
"Creature Comforts"
K
It was at least a week before the night terrors stopped.
Or... they didn't so much stop as, ease up.
For everything that had been erased and altered to eradicate Beverly Marsh from Derry's surface, It found he had overlooked one crucial bit of editing work.
The girl's own memories.
Of course.
In hindsight, it seemed so obvious. Embarrassingly simple.
But, also in hindsight, It realized the uniqueness of this error.
Most of it could be attributed to the fact that, this was the first time he had ever had reason to overlook such a thing.
It was the first time he had taken a mortal under his proverbial wing.
So, of course, there would be things he simply forgot to do.
Spiriting her away from her old home had been the easy part. The obvious part.
After that had come a lot of careful tweaking, nudging, string pulling around town.
He was so focused on those matters, without addressing the biggest problem lingering right under his nose.
By the time he realized it, it was almost too late.
But as quick as they veered off course, they veered back.
She was still getting used to a lot.
The new reality that was her second chance. The notion her newfound protector lived underground. The changes that would have to occur to her diet. The fact that the being who looked like a clown was not at all what he appeared to be.
Besides all that, Bevs was just getting used to being called Bevs.
Not Beverly.
As such, it took a few 'nights' before she settled down enough to appreciate the privacy of the circus wagon. Not that there wasn't safety enough underground, out of the light, but having one area to call her own helped. Then, it started to feel like a proper little den. Better yet, was the solitude of the cistern, the nexus from which all the tunnels seemed to radiate from like the center of a spider's web.
And she was the honorary spiderling.
Already, it felt about ten times safer than the apartment on Main Street ever had.
Ten times, and counting.
She still had trouble falling asleep, though.
While he stuck by her side for hours at a time, Penny didn't seem to understand. Gathering food for her wasn't his only learning curve to overcome. Keeping her company for as long as her eyes were open, that came naturally. But he didn't know that to put someone to bed wasn't as simple as "here's a blanket, a pillow, now sleep".
He didn't know what it was to tuck somebody in.
Bevs supposed she couldn't blame him. He was... odd sometimes, even about the normalist of things.
He was learning as much as she was.
So, at first, she tried not to fuss. That wasn't considerate of her, after pleading with him as she had. She didn't complain about any lack of attention (for those moments were as few as they were unintentional), or her small rations of food (if table scraps and lichens could be called food).
To some extent, she was already used to that.
Daddy, through his ignorance, had made sure of it. Through his negligence, he had assured it.
But Penny wasn't Daddy.
He was trying to do better.
So, by the fourth night, when Bevs awoke, twitching and crying, she had expected to wake up alone. To find herself almost lost in a nest of old blankets and stained pillows. It was warm and dry here, but she had expected to be as isolated as ever.
Instead, someone was there with her.
Bevs turned over, pulled the blanket from over her head.
Looking up, she spied two anxious eyes, peering down at her.
Despite the leftover tears on the girl's cheeks, she promptly burst out giggling.
"Bev... BeverLy?"
His confused tone of voice...
Snorting, Bevs pulled the blanket back over her head.
Silly clown.
He got it backwards.
Her giggles turned to laughter.
Maybe it was the hunger, making this seem more funny than it really was. Or maybe it was the lack of actual, restful sleep just making her touchy, sensitive.
That dummy.
Instead of tucking her in, he was there after she woke up.
She kept laughing for some minutes, curled into a ball under the blanket, before he dared speaking up again.
Like he was... unsure of how to take this reception.
"Uhm, BeVs?"
The five-year-old snickered, willed herself quiet again, and pulled the blanket down from her face, just far enough to reveal her eyes.
He was still there, standing stooped over. His hands were held before him, with that same peculiar look on his face.
Like he didn't know whether to smile or frown.
"Is... something wroNg?"
Bevs sniffed, wiping at her nose. She glanced away, considering her short list of answers.
I'm kinda hungry. Again.
I'm a little scared. Even now.
I'm still tired.
You didn't-
"BeverLy."
With only that for a warning, he crouched down. He leaned close, arms held out to either side for balance, shortening the gap between their faces.
She blinked, eyes going wide, pressing back against the filthy pillow.
He looked concerned enough, but that move-
How Daddy used to loom over me-
"Were you... having another bad dReam?"
The girl sniffed again, blanket still bunched up around her face.
She didn't dare drop it, lest he see an expression from her that he didn't like the look of.
"How- how do you know I was- "
He didn't interrupt, verbally.
But the way his red mouth creased downward in a frown, that stopped her mid-sentence.
Shivering again, Bevs felt new tears welling up already.
At what?
Her own painful memories?
His reaction?
Why?
She had asked him to take her in so things wouldn't be so sad anymore.
How come they still were?
He must have noticed her eyes, how they were filling up again.
Slowly, hesitantly, he reached over.
Then stopped, hand frozen in midair.
Just like... he didn't know what to do.
Bevs sniffed one last time, wiped her nose with the blanket's edge, and blinked.
Careful to avoid his touch, she sat up, held the blanket to her chest.
"How- how can you know that, but you d-don't know what it is to tuck someone in?"
Pennywise blinked, slowly, deliberately. His irises stayed blue.
Despite the oppressive darkness of the wagon, she could see his eyes. They never lost their glow, even in the daytime.
The entity's frown didn't ease.
But it didn't deepen any further.
After a thoughtful pause, he let his poised hand drop back to his side.
Straightened up, holding back at a safer distance.
"...It isn't just thaT, is it?"
"It would've helped, Penny," Bevs whined. Normally, she wouldn't have dared, never thought to take on such a vulnerable tone.
But again, this wasn't Daddy.
Penny wouldn't strike her for simply changing her voice.
And he had asked, taken more of a step in righting this wrong than Alvin ever had.
In the past, when the nightmares had gotten the better of her, Beverly remembered waking up crying.
Sometimes, Daddy would look in on her.
But he would only go as far as the open bedroom door.
With one glance, he would close the door.
Sniffling, Beverly would wipe her eyes, curl up, and try to go back to sleep.
If she somehow managed, then woke up squealing again, middle of the night, no one would check on her.
She learned to give up trying the bedroom door when it was closed. Daddy would lock it so she couldn't go anywhere.
Not to him, not to Mommy.
Nowhere.
She would be left to suffer alone.
Daddy was good about tucking her in. Sometimes.
But he never comforted her when it mattered.
Penny had it backwards, maybe, but he was already half right.
Which was more than the quarter-of-a-time Alvin ever got it right.
Like how the clown was listening to her now.
Calling him out on his mistake.
He didn't grumble or look away or snap at her to be silent.
Mutely, he stayed there, accepted the answer for what it was.
He finally sagged in place, like a sad-looking puppet, and hung his head in defeat.
"Sorry, deareSt one. I'm trying, but... I try wrong sometiMes."
Bevs blinked, chin ducking against her covered hands.
I... guess that makes sense.
At least he admits it.
Daddy would have never admitted it.
"Will you- s-stay this time, please?" she asked, voice wobbly. "I just- I won't wake up again, if you stay."
At that the clown smiled. It was the same quirky, little half-smile he had given the day they met.
He seemed at once amused and bemused by her reasoning.
"That so?"
"Will you, ple- eep."
The girl squeaked, belatedly thinking to scoot aside, to avoid being hit.
Pawing aside a wide swath of blankets, Pennywise instantly made space enough to curl up beside her.
No more questions asked.
Bevs sat there, astonished at how little convincing it had taken, but when he reached over to pull her close, she dove in without a second thought. The warm folds of that suit were a vast improvement to those icky, old blankets.
Her new roommate held still long enough for her to get comfortable, then draped an arm across her far shoulder. From there, she wiggled her way into place, nestling in the crook between his chest and elbow.
Lying side-by-side, she couldn't think of a more ideal place to be than in his shadow.
"BetTer?"
Bevs giggled again, fidgeting a moment longer, trying to put her pillow between her head and his arm.
Then, abruptly deciding against it, she tossed the pillow aside.
His arm would be her pillow.
"Heh-hee. Much better."
Held close, both arms woven around her, she felt him nuzzle against the back of her head, breath ruffling her hair.
Content, she sighed and pulled the blanket up to her chin, eyes smiling themselves shut.
In her mind's eye, she saw him doing the same.
"No more nightmaRes, Bevs. Not for you, no. I promiSe."