Hi Again! I promised a quick update, so here you go! Also thank you for the lovely reviews. They mean so much to me!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games, but i do think Suzanne Collins is a genius!
Enjoy!
What makes you any different than me? Zane's final words swirl through my head, stabbing at my conscience. "What have I done?", I whisper to my reflection in my hotel room mirror. The truth is, I am no different. I am violence incarnate. I would cry out against the Games, but I have perpetuated violence on my own. I took Coin's life because she took Prim's life, but how right could that have been? Mia, someone who loved Coin, didn't think it was right and now Peeta is in a hospital bed. He may never wake up again. "Oh Peeta." I am shaking. I have committed torture for Peeta. Yet Peeta would never have condoned that action. No matter what Zane had done to him. Truly good Peeta would never have stomached such a thing. "What have I done?", I ask myself again. I close myself in my glass shower and begin to sob. The stream of water washing away the ever-coming tears. I don't know how long I stand in there. It is only when I decide to leave the shower that I notice the water is ice cold. My teeth are chattering and my breath is hard to catch. I never turned up the water's heat.
From the look of the sun it is well into morning. I dress simply, donning a warm wool coat, and decide to make my way to the hospital. I need to ask Peeta to forgive me. As I walk the couple of miles to the hospital, I relive the night before. My mind always going to those seven words: What makes you any different than me? I am a murdering torturer. I shudder as I walk down the hall to Peeta's hospital room. My breathing is labored. I reach his opened door and am about to walk in, when I hear the most beautiful sound ever.
"It was so bizarre Haymitch, I could hear her. I could hear her asking me to come back to her." Peeta is awake. My first instinct is to run to him, confess my love again, and ask him to forgive me. Sadly the truth sinks in as I sink to the floor, out of sight from those dwelling in the room. Peeta isn't going to forgive me, He will see me for what I am; a disgusting soulless monster. The tears I thought I no longer had, burn like fire as they travel down my face.
I find myself glancing down the hall, and see two agents approaching. Instinct tells me to get out of sight. I quickly duck into the unoccupied hospital room next to Peeta's. My instincts have paid off again, because the agents walk right into Peeta's room. I cautiously move towards the door so I can hear.
"Peeta Mellark?" One of the agents inquires.
"Can I help you?"
"I am Agent Fredericks and this is Agent Wilson. We are inquiring about your whereabouts between 8pm and 2am last night."
"Are you daft?", Haymitch snarls. "The boy's been in a fucking coma for over a week now. Don't you watch the news?" I love you Haymitch. I watch Agent Fredericks stiffen.
"Well than Mr. Abernathy, can I ask about your whereabouts at that time?"
Haymitch grunts, "At the Regal Hotel bar. Served by a pretty young thing named Irene. You can ask her yourself."
"What is this about anyway?" Peeta sounds impatient.
"We are investigating the death of one Dr. Julian Zane. It is being looked at as a homicide." Fuck! How do they even...? I hear Peeta gasp, and see Haymitch shut his eyes briefly. I lean in a little more and see Peeta start rubbing his temples at hearing that name.
"Well you've asked your questions time to..." Haymitch is cut off by Agent Wilson.
"One more question. Do you know the current whereabouts of Katniss Everdeen?" Haymitch who has been sitting this whole time jumps out of his chair.
"She's been sick, has been making herself sick ever since this boy got shot saving her life. She even left me a note." He hands my note to the agents who both read my broken message. "She tends to turn to...", he makes a gesture like he is drinking out of a bottle. "Can't say I blame her. She's probably locked up in her room, sleeping it off."
"Well according to the hotel's housekeeping,", the same agent begins, "no one has used Miss Everdeen's room in two days." I watch the sheer panic appear on Peeta's face. I can't let him worry about me anymore. Not after what he's been through.
"That's because I've been sleeping in Peeta's room." I state as I walk into the room. Peeta connects his eyes with mine and relief floods his face. "It helped with the nightmares. I hope you don't mind." Peeta simply has time to shake his head no and smile before I am sitting on the edge of his bed, facing him. I take his face gently in my hands. I stare intently into the two crystal blue orbs I haven't seen in so long. "Don't blink." I whisper. "I haven't seen your eyes in so long." I'm sure its because of the lack of blinking that moisture begins to well up in his eyes. "When did you wake up?" Guilt begins to flood inside of me, that I wasn't here.
"Last night. They checked me out though, said everything looks fine, no brain damage." I laugh out a cry, as tears form again. I am so happy.
"Peeta, I am so sorry I wasn't here when you woke up." My hands still cupping his cheeks.
"It's ok, you're here now. That's all that matters." I am overwhelmed, my heart is aching to be as close to Peeta as possible. At this moment I don't care how he feels about me, because I know how I feel about him and the intensity of it is making me shiver. I suddenly find myself bringing my face down to his as I gently push my lips against his. I almost get the sense that he is pushing back, but brush it off as my imagination. When I finally pull away Peeta's eyes remain lazily shut. His lips are so still . I almost go down for a second, when a throat clearing drags me away. Oh right.
"Miss Everdeen, my partner and I have been asked to bring you down to our headquarters for questioning." Peeta's eyes start to worry again. I keep my hands on his face but look away, over my shoulder, not wanting him to catch my lies.
"What for?" I allow my voice to spit irritation, for ruining my reunion with Peeta.
"We need to question you about the death of Dr. Julian Zane."
"Who's that?" I ask apathetically still not making eye contact with Peeta.
"That's the doctor who hijacked me." Peeta's answer is barely audible, but it makes me shudder my next breath. I am now looking Peeta in the eyes, because what I say next could be no more true.
"Then I'm glad he's dead." Peeta's eyes intensify on me, his face slightly scrunched in concentration. He is trying to read me.
"Will you come with us willingly Miss Everdeen or will we have to arrest you." My breath begins to quicken. Peeta weakly pushes himself up to a sitting position, and gathers me in his arms, pulling me down to his chest. I feel his mouth press into my hair.
"I won't let them take you." He breathes. I begin to laugh out loud. Poor Peeta can't even sit up without a struggle, but it would be just like him to do something heroically stupid if I let him. I sit up, though his arms still stay wrapped around my waist. I stare at his beautiful eyes again, the laughter still on my lips. I kiss him gently on his nose and allow my forehead to rest against his. I place a light hand on his stomach where he was shot. I whisper back my response.
"I won't let you get hurt for me ever again." Peeta closes his eyes, but his forehead stays pressed up against me, and his arms wrapped tight. They may have to pry me away after all.
"For fucks sakes. She hasn't seen him awake in over a week. He saved her life. He's a hero. Hell, she's a hero. That's what they were getting medals for, when you guys dropped the ball. Allowing a gun toting psycho that you obviously hadn't background checked present them. Now I think you guys can ease up a bit, give these kids a little while to get reacquainted before the government once again rips them apart." The glare on Haymitch's face is so intense, verging on murderous. At first both agents look angry, not liking being called out by the likes of Haymitch Abernathy. Eventually Agent Fredericks' face seems to soften. He taps Agent Wilson on the arm.
"Let them be. I have a couple of calls to make. When I am done you will come with us without a problem am I correct Miss Everdeen?" I nod and then both agents leave the room, though Agent Wilson is posted outside the door. Haymitch gives me a dark knowing look and follows the agents out. Peeta lays back against his pillows and I manage to curl my body next to him on the bed. I rest my head on his arm and drape my arm over his waist avoiding his stomach..
"You asked me to come back to you. Real or not real?"
"Well more like begged, but yeah, real." I glance up and watch a smile spread across his face, then he makes an exaggerated sigh.
"Phew, that would have been so awkward if it was not real huh." We both start laughing and for a brief moment nothing else matters, not the love block, or Zane or the agents outside. Peeta has come back to me, and I will never let him leave again. A mix between curiosity, amazement and paranoia guides my next question.
"You could hear me talking to you?"
"Bits and pieces. a phrase here, a word there. It was all very dreamlike but I knew it was you. The last thing I remember was something about a pearl I think." When I don't fill him in he just smiles and shrugs.
We continue to lay together quietly, Peeta plays with my hair while I'm tying and untying knots with the long drawstring of his hospital pants. Suddenly I feel Peeta shift.
"Hey look its me!" I look up at the TV that has been muted and, until now, didn't know was on. There on the screen is a picture of Peeta. The same headshot used during our first Hunger Games.
"Gah, couldn't they have used a more recent picture?" I complain
"Oh I don't mind." Peeta chimes in while turning up the volume. "Its back from when I was handsome." I can't help but roll my eyes at him.
"You're still handsome", I say before the blush hits my cheeks. Peeta gives me an unconvinced face. You have no idea how beautiful you are. Once the volume is up we catch a females voice.
"According to hospital sources Peeta Mellark is out of his coma and on the road to recovery."
"Hooray.", I cheer. "Didn't take them long did it?" Peeta chuckles and our attention turns back to the TV. Peeta's picture is gone. Instead the woman who was speaking earlier is on the screen.
"We are all so happy to hear of Peeta's recovery, but am I alone in Panem at still being blown away by the video from that day. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Can we play that footage for the audience now?" Oh shit. The realization of what footage she is talking about sinks in and I am panic stricken.
"Peeta give me the remote." I am nearly begging. At first he looks alarmed by the panic on my face, but then a slow grin appears. He shakes his head and stuffs the remote underneath him. I am tempted to go after it, but am afraid i'll either hurt him or pull out a wire. Instead I sit up, hang my legs off the bed. I am staring at the floor, trying to not to faint. I hear the video, the shooting, the commotion and me losing my mind, and of course professing my love for the boy who is oh so close in proximity right now. He doesn't say anything, and I am mortified that I will have to face him. My cheeks are burning.
"Miss Everdeen, it's time." Yes it is. I exhale the breath i've been holding and get up to head towards the door. Curiosity gets the best of me and I turn to Peeta. His face expresses something that I don't have words for. His eyes seem dark, and his mouth is slightly open. He then glances at the agent in the doorway and his expression instantly turns to a mixture of worry and anger.
"Don't worry Peeta, I'll be ok. I promise." I try to give him a steady smile. He doesn't seem convinced. Agent Fredericks takes a gentle hold of my arm at the door. Haymitch appears in front of me. He looks me in the eyes.
"It'll be ok Sweetheart." I nod and the agents and I start walking down the hall.
"Katniss... Katniss." I hear Peeta hollar. "I... I..." We are too far out of earshot and I never get to hear what he was trying to say.