Chapter Ten

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

"It was to the Jedi traitor Revan," one of the handmaidens was telling the Exile when Revan, Bao-Dur, Kreia, and Atton finally located her.

"So people are talking about me again," Revan remarked. "Joy."

"Revan wasn't a traitor!" the Exile cried out. "Take that back!"

"I kind of was," Revan disagreed.

"Don't let the non-believers poison your view of yourself, Revan," the Exile said passionately.

Revan sighed. "Whatever…"

"Perhaps he had a point about the Exile," Atton mused. "Still, best not to risk it."

"What were you saying about Revan?" Bao-Dur asked.

"I was talking about how people can communicate through combat," the Handmaiden explained.

"Like, when they're talking?" Atton asked. "Because yeah, everyone can do that."

"No, I mean they communicate through combat," the Handmaiden corrected.

"News to me," Revan announced.

"But it's true!" the Handmaiden insisted. "Take Malak's destruction of Telos-"

"It's so nice to be able to hear about that without listening to angry vows of vengeance, even after we killed Saul," Revan said serenely.

"It was brutal and lacking in finesse and yet it showed that he was committed to destroying the Jedi," the Handmaiden said earnestly.

"I should hope so," Bao-Dur said dryly. "He did destroy an entire planet."

"With Revan it was different. Revan was also committed to defeating the Jedi yet he was much more subtle," the Handmaiden continued. "He was so eloquent in battle and taught us so much. I believe he was speaking to Malak in that final battle, though few knew it. Imagine all the pain and anger and betrayal he must have been feeling!"

"You know, that's really not how I remember it," Revan replied.

"What arrogance!" Kreia burst out. "Claiming to know anything at all of Revan…"

"Don't you do that exact same thing all the time?" Atton demanded.

"That's different," Kreia insisted. "I understand him."

"Kreia is very wise," the Exile said loyally.

"And how do you know that Revan even had a choice in the matter?" Kreia inquired. "Sometimes the Force just, well, forces you down a path and there's nothing you can do but fulfill your destiny."

"If by 'the Force' you mean 'Carth and Bastila' then I think you might actually understand me more than this handmaiden does," Revan declared.

"But what about free will?" the Handmaiden challenged.

"Can we table the philosophical debate?" Revan implored. "No one really cares."

"I care," the Exile argued.

"Then you can listen to them going at it later," Revan replied.

"Why are you staring at the Exile?" Atton inquired. "It's kind of disturbing."

"It doesn't bother me," the Exile told him.

"Well I'm creeped out for your sake," Atton countered.

The Exile beamed at him. "That's so sweet."

The Handmaiden flushed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to. I just…Atris told us all about you."

"This will be good," Revan said, rolling his eyes.

"She said that you betrayed everybody, including yourself, by going to war and have no loyalty to anyone or anything but your own animal impulses as well as the reason you fell to the dark side," the Handmaiden revealed.

"Wait, how could she have betrayed herself by going to war?" Bao-Dur wanted to know. "It wasn't like she made herself a promise not to go or she told herself not to go and didn't listen to herself."

"I only know what Atris told me," the Handmaiden replied, shrugging.

"The Exile is far too firmly attached to the light side and the Jedi Order for anyone to think that she's not loyal," Kreia scoffed. "Even now, ten years after she was exiled, she still reveres that defunct order."

"But she hasn't stayed away like Atris, the only Jedi remaining, wishes her to," the Handmaiden tried to explain.

"Dark side?" Revan couldn't believe it. "The Exile? Really? Did you miss the fact that she seems to literally have a halo?"

"Atris mentioned that the Exile was very good at fooling others," the Handmaiden answered.

"Including the Force itself, apparently, as I have no other idea where she got that thing," Revan muttered.

"I'm not one to disagree with Jedi," the Exile spoke up hesitantly. "But I do have to wonder why I wouldn't just keep fighting with Revan if I were a Sith."

"Atris says it's because you've fallen so far you can no longer feel the Force," the Handmaiden offered.

Revan shook her head. "And that just continues to prove that Atris is full of it. You can't turn so evil that you suddenly just lose your connection to the Force. Trust me, I knew Sion."

"Just how much time did Atris spend talking about the Exile?" Atton demanded, still disturbed on the Exile's behalf.

"So…I've always been curious about the Force," the Handmaiden said awkwardly. "Does anyone want to tell me what it's like?"

The Exile promptly burst into tears.

"Does that handmaiden really think that we didn't notice her sneaking aboard the ship?" Atton demanded.

"Eager offer: I would gladly kill her for you, Master," HK proposed.

"Maybe later if she won't tell us her name," Revan said vaguely.

"Belated lie: It is so good to see all of you once again," HK continued.

"What shall we do now?" Bao-Dur wondered.

"Well, I need a lightsaber before we do anything else since Atton has convinced me that I wasn't actually banned from using one and that if other non-Jedi could use them safely than they would be allowed to use lightsabers as well," the Exile announced.

"If you can find the parts somewhere in this vast galaxy then I will help you construct one," Bao-Dur offered. "I may not be a Jedi but I am very good at building things."

Revan wrinkled his nose. "An intergalactic scavenger hunt? No way."

"The Exile needs a lightsaber and I don't see a better way of getting it," Bao-Dur retorted, his tone slightly frosty.

"Exile, you can use any of the four or so dozen lightsabers that we found during our hunt for the Star Maps or you can build your own with the parts I have in the garage area," Revan told her.

"What Star Maps?" Kreia inquired.

Revan waved his hand. "Oh, you know. Part of defeating Malak and whatnot. It was another intergalactic scavenger hunt and I vowed never again."

"Could I?" the Exile exclaimed, touched. "You have no idea what this means to me!"

Atton glared at Revan.

"What?" Revan asked defensively. "I'm supposed to be mean to her just because you want to date her?"

T3 beeped suddenly.

"Jealous mutter: Oh, of course you 'just happened' to find the secret trial record for the Exile that could answer all of her questions and give her many more," HK said disgustedly.

"I really wish you two would just get along," Revan said, sighing.

"Petulant complaint: I asked you once which one of us you loved more and you told me T3 without even hesitating!"

Everyone turned to look at Revan.

"What?" he asked innocently. "I was just being honest! It's not my fault he can't handle the truth."

"Perhaps you should play this record," Kreia suggested.

The Exile started shivering. "Perhaps we shouldn't do that. I mean…that was a very painful time in my life and I just don't see how reliving it will help at all."

"It has to have been made secret for a reason," Atton said logically. "You don't have to be here when we watch it but it might be something important."

"I agree," Bao-Dur said, nodding. "And you'll need to face your past at some point if you wish to move on."

"I guess you're right," the Exile said bravely. She took a deep breath. "Play the tape."

T3 began projecting the image of the trial for them.

"Do you know why we have called you here?" Vrook began, his tone harsh and unforgiving.

"I assumed it was because you heard that I landed on the planet," the Exile replied matter-of-factly.

"This is no joking matter!" Kavar told her gravely.

"But…I wasn't," the Exile protested.

"Why would you defy us?" Zez-Kai Ell asked, sounding honestly stumped. "The Jedi are guardians of the peace and have been for centuries. Going to war goes against everything we stand for!"

"Well, yeah," the Exile agreed. "But…there was a war going on."

"And it was not your place to fight!" Vrook burst out. "You were a Jedi and Jedi have no place on the battlefield."

"There is a long precedent of this not being the case," the Exile pointed out. "We're not supposed to start wars or fight for frivolous causes but if it's important – and this was so important – then we are allowed to fight to maintain the peace. That's why they call us 'guardians of the peace' in the first place. I mean, if we even just look at what happened with Exar Kun-"

"Your arrogance is astounding!" Atris snapped. "I am the Jedi Historian here, not you."

The Exile blinked, confused. "I…apologize if I came off as arrogant. I was only trying to explain that the Mandalorians were killing people and they needed to be stopped. I help stop them. I don't know what would have happened if we hadn't gone off but at the very least, the war would have gone on for far longer."

"There were others that could have fought," Zez-Kai Ell pointed out.

"And the Mandalorians were killing civilians because they were trying to bait the Jedi into going to war," the Exile countered. "We had to give them what they wanted or they'd just continue to kill the innocent."

"No Jedi went to war!" Vrook thundered.

"The Mandalorians beg to differ," the Exile said politely.

"Do you even believe that you've done anything wrong?" Atris challenged her. "Why did you even come back?"

The Exile bowed her head. "Of course I do. I wasn't allowed to go to war and I did so anyway. By my actions, I have disgraced the Jedi Order for all that I also helped save the Republic. I went to war to stop the Mandalorians and now that they are stopped, I am done with battle. I will accept any punishment that you see fit to give me."

"Your arrogance is astounding!" Atris bristled.

"I think you're kind of reaching," Vash opined.

"Well no one asked you," Atris snapped.

"By being a member of this council, my opinion is sought by default," Vash shot back.

"I'm glad that you see the error of you ways," Kavar said loudly. "Perhaps you will also accept that you must leave us."

"Wait, I don't understand," the Exile objected. "Why are you exiling me? Why must I leave?"

"Never mind that," Vash said quickly. "You're just exiled, is all."

"From now on, we will refer to you only as 'the Exile'," Vrook announced. "Now kindly surrender your lightsaber on your way out."

The Exile promptly stabbed her lightsaber into the pillar at the center of the room and walked out without a glance back.

"Okay, now that was kind of impressive," Kavar said the minute she was gone.

"What arrog-" Atris started to say.

Zez-Kai Ell sighed. "Yes, we know. You think she's arrogant."

"…She breathes arrogantly," Atris said quietly.

"We really should do something about her Exile issues," Vash told them.

"No point now, the Exile is gone and we'll never see her again," Vrook disagreed.

"I don't have Exile issues!" Atris denied.

There was a beep and Vash looked down at her communicator. "Revan just sent me a message assuring me that you do, in fact, have Exile issues."

"How does he even know what we're talking about?" Atris demanded. "That man is infuriating."

"Do you think we should have told the Exile that we exiled her because she was a giant gaping hole in the Force and it freaked us out?" Vash inquired.

"I don't see why," Vrook replied. "It's not like it matters to her any longer."

"It's not even like she's a Jedi," Atris sniped. "She tried to be like Revan and she's just not good enough."

"And with Revan returning we really don't have time to deal with the Exile right now, much as I might have liked to be able to help her somehow," Kavar said ruefully.

"Do you think that maybe our teachings might have had something to do with Revan falling, half of the order joining him, and this kind of thing going on every generations?" Zez-Kai Ell wondered aloud.

"Don't be preposterous!" Vrook ordered. "We are doing nothing wrong. Those who fell clearly just weren't cut out for this kind of life."

"It's all Kae's fault anyway," Atris announced. "We should exile her, too."

"We'll see," Kavar said tolerantly.

"And we should have killed the Exile, too," Atris continued. "Clearly she's evil and will just go and join Revan again."

"She won't be much use to Revan without the Force," Vash pointed out. "And Jedi do not kill their prisoners. Still, I wish we could have been honest with her. She deserved it."

"Maybe one day we'll explain it to her and help her to heal," Kavar said almost wistfully. "If we have time. If not, well, we'll live."

The recording ended.

"Now do you see why I hate the Jedi and their lies?" Atton asked rhetorically.

The Exile stood frozen. "I…I can't believe it. All this time I had thought that they were the ones who cut off my connection to the Force. Now I find out that it's not true but that they do know what happened to me, even though I don't?"

"Didn't you feel that you were cut off from the Force after Malachor but before you showed up for your trial?" Revan asked curiously.

The Exile shrugged. "I don't even remember. I was still in shock from Malachor, I think."

"What did happen at-" Atton started to ask.

"I don't want to talk about it!" the Exile said quickly.

T3 beeped again.

"According to T3, if for whatever reason we had any desire to track any of those people down, Vrook is on Dantooine, Zez-Kai Ell is on Nar Shaddaa, Kavar is on Onderon, and Vash is on Korriban and thus is probably either dead or evil," Revan translated.

"All of the Jedi that were there when the Exile was sentenced…that is a strange coincidence indeed," Bao-Dur said quietly.

"There are no coincidences with the Force," Kreia declared. "This is clearly a trap."

"Has anyone ever told you how paranoid you are?" Atton asked her.

"I don't really feel like tracking anyone done but we were planning to go to Nar Shaddaa anyway so I guess that we might as well see if we can see any sign of Zez-Kai Ell while we're there," Revan suggested.

"Those are Atris' records you have stolen!" the Handmaiden said, outraged, as she stormed her way through the ship and up to them.

"And it was my ship and droids that Atris stole and then you who stole aboard my ship," Revan countered. "Deal with it."

"What the hell are you doing on our ship?" Atton demanded.

"I came to join you. I can help you against this threat," the Handmaiden assured them.

"Well, Atton and Kreia are the only ones who might think that the Jedi are a threat and now that Bao-Dur is here we outnumber them," the Exile said apologetically. "Sorry."

"I was actually talking about the Sith," the Handmaiden corrected her.

"Oh."

"That's not really our problem," Revan argued.

"They could wipe out all life everywhere!" the Handmaiden cried out.

"I don't care," Revan said flatly.

"Well I do!" the Exile disagreed.

"I agree with the Exile because she said it," Atton voted.

"I need some form of atonement," Bao-Dur explained.

"We have no free will so we might as well give in and lull it into a false sense of security before brutally murdering it when it least suspects it," Kreia declared.

The Handmaiden stared at her. "Out of curiosity, are you talking about me or the Force?"

"The Force," Kreia replied.

"Good," the Handmaiden said, relieved. "That still makes you crazy but much less likely to snap and kill me. I think."

"I wouldn't count on it," Atton said darkly.

"Look, if you want to travel with us then you're going to have to tell us your name," Revan said firmly. "It's bad enough that she insists on being called the Exile but at least she was actually exiled first. We're not calling you the Handmaiden."

"I can't tell you my name," the Handmaiden said, biting her lip.

"We'll drop you off at Citadel Station then," Revan declared.

"Okay, fine, it's Brianna," Brianna admitted.

"See, was that so hard?" Revan asked, pleased.

"I might get exiled for this!" Brianna exclaimed.

"Well, you'd better not steal my title," the Exile warned her.

Review Please!