Again, I want to thank my lovely beta, TheStoryOf14.

Warning: Rated M (I think so).

Chapter 9

At first he just stared at her, agape. It was obvious that Peeta was never prepared for something like that to happen, and his eyes widened with surprise and for a few moments he lost the ability to talk, his mouth opened and closed as fish gasping for air.

Katniss felt like maybe she could finally trust the baker's son. As as matter of a fact, she could no longer deny that she needed help, no matter who was willing enough to care, to give it. She was in no position to decline his persistent offers, especially at that moment, after he hid her from those soldiers. Only then she understood the severity of his actions; if they would have found her underneath him in that little alley she would have gotten blows from the soldiers, just because she was talking with a German. He saved her by hiding her under his body, hiding the emblem from the soldier's eyes, and suddenly she realized how stupid she was; he truly wanted to help her, because if he didn't - he wouldn't have done that.

She felt as if that realization changed something; she couldn't figure out what, but she now knew that she was going to owe him a life-debt, and that she'd probably never find a way to pay him back. The other thing that wouldn't leave her alone was a question - why? Why would Peeta risk his life and help his former, Jewish, class-mate? Her mind was still fuzzy and everything since that morning felt so surreal, or maybe it was just that all the past few months felt like one, sick hallucination. Her gray eyes drifted to the street, to the place where those soldiers stood while Peeta seemed to still struggle with words.

"How did you make them leave?" Katniss asked, eyes still focused on the alley's exit, and at the sound of him groaning she snapped at his direction.

Peeta massaged his temple and looked strangely uncomfortable, "I told them they were interrupting.." He tried to explain, without really explaining, his eyes glowed to the concrete and his cheeks flushed.

"Interrupting what?" Katniss asked with a frown, annoyed. She was tired from not understanding him. His blue eyes met her and it looked as if he was surprised that she looked so perplexed.

"Well... you know… us…" He mumbled quietly and even his ears reddened.

Katniss frown deepened. "Why would you say that the soldiers interrupted -" And then suddenly she understood, "Us… Oh." That was embarrassing, and she could feel her cheeks heat, but luckily her skin was tanned enough to hide her flush. That explained his cocky, careless tone when he addressed the soldiers, they probably assumed she was some Polish girl he was messing with. A picture of Peeta kissing her with her back pressed hard to the wall behind her flashed through her head, and she cursed her stupid imagination, but at the same time she couldn't help the blush that was creeping further to her cheeks, and strangely it was almost impossible to meet his gaze. She felt strange, and she hated the unfamiliar feeling she had at the moment, so she associated it with all the emotional exhaustion she was experiencing that day, she was weak and that was the only possible explanation for it.

"Look," She started. Katniss wanted to go home and curl in her bed until she would fall asleep, because she couldn't stand staying awake and live through the rest of this horrible day, not to mention the fact that since Peeta pulled away she felt like she was slowly and painfully freezing, and all she wished was to have something hot in her stomach, but there was nothing that could keep her warm. "I should go." She gave him the answer he wanted to hear, and even though she hated to admit it - she needed all the help she could get, but she was not going to wait like that in the freezing cold, not like that. Katniss had nothing else to say so she turned to leave, but he stopped her from doing it.

"Wait." He had the tendency to grab her by her arms, and it sent anger jolting through her system; he acted as if he owned her, as if he could determine when she should go, and she felt trapped like a bird in a cage, and if there was one thing Katniss really hated and couldn't accept, it was someone taking her freedom. She had to bit her lip hard, until she cracked the broken skin of it and felt the blood's metallic taste. She couldn't lash out at him - she owed him and she couldn't be stupid and ruin that opportunity.

Peeta seemed to noticed the way she flinched at his touch and released her, looking slightly uncomfortable. He pushed his hands to the front pockets of his expensive fur coat, "I don't know when I'll see you again, and I thought that this was my last chance to convince you." He couldn't help but give her a small smile, and Katniss didn't miss the little dimple in his left cheek.

But something was off, what did he mean by saying that he didn't know when he would see her again. "Are you leaving?" It wasn't any of her business, her mind reminded her, but she couldn't care less, she wanted to know, and strangely it felt like she had to know.

Blue met gray and his smile faded, leaving no traces behind. "Yes, I'm leaving for Germany." He stated without showing no sort of emotions.

"You are all going back?" She knew she was being rude. That it was none of her business, and that a German shouldn't even bother himself with explaining that to her, but... It was awkward in a way - Peeta represented everything she would never have; he was rich, handsome and free as a bird. The lucky bustard, she thought to herself, could return to his homeland and forget he ever lived in the freezing hell, also knows as Warsaw.

She could tell he was choosing words carefully, "No, my family stays here, but Roland and I have to pay a visit in Germany." His voice was light and casual, but she could see that there was something off in his eyes. Katniss wanted to ask, but she couldn't, she already was being too rude and blunt, and she didn't really care, but somehow in times like that she had to remind herself that he was above her, way above. It wasn't her place to ask some minor, foolish questions.

For some strange reason Peeta looked highly dissatisfied; his jaw was clenched and she could easily see the tensing of his muscles. However, she did not ask why. The sun shone higher in the sky and the half-shadowed alley was almost completely lit in the dim winter sun. Katniss started to feel uncomfortable in that scenario, everyone who would glance at their direction would notice them, and she did not want to hide her emblem under Peeta's tight hand or her face in his board chest again. She so badly wanted to leave, and even though Peeta's presence no longer stressed her quite as much now that she felt a little bit more secure with him, she wanted to say a final goodbye, but she owed him. She felt like all her control was in his hands, as if she were at his mercy and had to wait for him to have the final word. She studied him in silence, trying to appear indifferent, but knew that she was failing at it miserably.

He reached a hand to the inside of his luxurious coat and took out a white envelope and handed it to Katniss. "Here, take it." He offered it with a warm smile, but Katniss couldn't bring herself to smile as well. She felt weak for accepting his help, but she wouldn't back up, now she couldn't, so she reached for it with her trembling, slightly blue from the cold, hands and took it from him. Their fingers brushed and even though it was only for a brief moment she backed away, her back now pressed to the wall.

Katniss felt as if she was about to collapse, her stomach protested violently, and she had to lean against the freezing wall whether she wanted to or not. Her vision went black when she moved too much, and she tried to recall the last time she ate. She couldn't. Everything she brought home was immediately passed on to Prim with the lame excuse that she already ate on her way home because she couldn't help herself. It was almost funny in a way; here she was, starving against the wall with a beautiful, healthy German that look concerned for her safety. She would have laughed if she had the energy, but she had to save it for the long walk home.

"Thank you." Katniss sighed and placed the envelope in her pocket. The curiosity for its content would have eaten her from the inside if it weren't for the hunger. She thought she should have said something else, more significant, something that would explain how much he truly helped her, but she was never good with words.

He kept watching her while she gathered some inner powers that would help her to walk away from the wall and turned to leave, her vision blackening for a moment. "Do you need help?" Katniss heard his tender voice and suddenly anger rose within her in a moment. "No." She snapped sharply at him, hissing through her teeth in anger, although the quick motion made her almost lose balance on the slippery floor. She needed no pity from him. It was above and beyond that he had to see her so helpless and weak, so she would go home without his help even if it would kill her.

The wind blew harder now, causing a few raven locks to escape her braid, and snowflakes started to fall on them quietly. He said no word, but she could easily see that he was hurt, and soon she realized that she shouldn't have offended the man who helped her. "No." She said softly again, "I don't want your pity." The poor choice of words was almost ridiculous, but she had no silver tongue and that was her best way to explain that she wouldn't be able to stand his pity because she would not be able to be so weak next to him, or anyone else.

Something changed in him; Peeta's blue eyes lost their spry and became glazed and distant while he stared at her with agony and sorrow, as if he was hurt. By the deep frown that was formed on his forehead she knew he was lost in thoughts. The only sound she heard was the harsh wind that crept underneath her clothes while she tried to push some raven locks from her eyes, still waiting for him.

Out of nowhere he reached his hand to her, eyes still dazed away, and Katniss would have moved, but the wall was just behind her, so she had to stare with wide eyes as he rested his hand on her cheek. His palm, even under the clove felt warm and comforting, and he raised his wrist so his fingers were the only thing brushing against her face. Peeta reached for her unruly hair and tucked it behind her ears so gently, as if he was afraid to break her. Katniss couldn't move because her back was almost pressed to the wall, or maybe she just was too amazed to move. Or maybe, a thought crept to her mind, she did not want to move. "I do not pity you, Katniss." He whispered fiercely, "I want to help you because I can't see -" He shook his head and took a deep breath, as if he was preparing to a major confession. But instead he let out a bitter laugh, his eyes still not completely warm and welcoming and darker than they usually were, "You still don't see it." He said, half surprised and half sadly.

She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and the sound of her sudden exhale seemed to wake him up in a snap. His blue eyes shot up in surprised and he locked gazes her with her before he removed his hand from her as if he was burnt. His eyes snapped at the snow covered pavement and his cheeks were crimson red and just then Katniss realized her cheeks might have been in the same shade as his. He was so tender, and the last time someone touched her that way beside her sister was her father, and he'd been dead for three and a half years now.

What did he mean by telling her she didn't get it? It felt like every moment she passed with Peeta she spent coming up with some new question she couldn't answer. There was something so livid, almost urgent in his bright blue eyes that she could feel the weight of his thoughts and emotions, but did not know their meaning.

"See what?" Katniss was reaching the limit of the questions she could ask while time ran out mercilessly and the day buzzing started to take off, more people walked down the street, luckily avoiding the little alley they were standing in.

Peeta clearly did not know how to handle her question, as if he was surprised he had let out such information without even noticing. His eyes flickered from one place to another and he tried as hard as he could to avoid her skeptical gaze. He looked at the street for a few moments and sighed deeply, running a shaky hand through his now snow covered curls. "I need you to be safe." He said, finally looking at her with more sincerity than she had ever seen before, his eyes pleading. "And I wish I could look after you, Katniss." He spoke her name almost like a whisper and it sent shiver through her body. He took her hand and held it between his two. She found herself holding in another breath, almost sighing in relief when his warmth touched her again. He looked as if he wanted to say something else, something significant but he was distracted by her trembling and he frowned. Peeta studied her for a few moments, frowning deeper by the moment while she was quiet because she wasn't sure whether or not she could trust her voice.

His let go of her hand and started taking of his own gloves silently, eyes fixed on his palms. "Take it." He said while his eyes drifted to found hers. It wasn't a demand, more like a plea. The cloves were black and simple, and obviously well made. Probably from real leather that would isolate her body heat better. She could… "I can't…" She had no power nor will to fight properly.

"You can. I want you to." He took both of her hands this time, the expensive gloves in his palm and looking desperate. The minute he had her hands in his he hissed sharply, "You're freezing." A glint of fear and concern evident in his eyes. "I won't need them, I assure you." He tried to reassure her, giving her a small smile, but the worry in his eyes left traces. "You can sell them if you want."

The only thing she could do was nod, and his smile seemed to become a little more genuine. He glanced at the street again, her cold hands in his and she felt weaker then she ever did before, and suddenly her knees threatened to betray her. His hands were so soft, warm and big. He had long strong fingers and she saw some dough under his fingernails. It felt as if his heat warmed her from the inside as well. "I have to go." His eyes were still glowed on the street and she knew he was right and she was relieved she would be free soon. "Just… take care, Katniss." He squeezed tightly with a final look in her eyes. The blue was so bright and she could suddenly see his caring for her in those big blue sapphire stones and she was overwhelmed by the intensity of it. They stood like that for a moment or two more than they should have and she tried to understand the urgency in eyes but couldn't. Finally, he let go of her hands while the cold reclaimed her entire body again and he walked away fast, glancing again before he turned around the corner.

She leant her head against the frozen wall and closed her eyes. Snow flacks fell on her face but it wasn't possible to feel colder than she already was. Katniss felt the warm, soft fabric of the gloves and wore them after a moment of consideration, completely ignoring the fact they were too big for her. She was on the burst of collapsing, and she tried to balance herself against to stone. She was tired and so weak that she really didn't know how she'd get home, and just taking a few steps felt like an impossible mission. All she wanted was to return to a hot, cozy house with fresh, appetizing aromas. Her stomach was growling to hard that it almost overcame the wind, and she knew she'd have to get some bread from the little Jewish bakery on her way home.

Katniss was lost and strangely she felt extremely empty, as if this day had already drained everything from her, but she knew she had to start walking away from that alley. She stretched her leg and took the first step, which was the hardest because she had to force herself to open up her eyes, and again, almost everything went black. With a deep breathe she stretched the other and started to walk slowly towards the street, trying her best to regain her balance. The moment she started walking in the street it hit her all over again and she was painfully aware of the emblem on her right sleeve, the only difference was that now she could still feel Peeta's tight grip on it. Even though it was way bellow the freezing point the gray streets were buzzing in life, and unfortunately soldiers were walking all over the place with their arrogant smiles as if they owned it. She wasn't strong enough to make a point and show them, but mostly herself, she was strong and their hatred didn't effect her, so she lowered her head and tried to walk as fast as her legs allowed. She couldn't stand any nasty looks that were sent to her and her blue Star of David, so she focused on her tiny steps as she made her way through busy Warsaw.

The snow just kept falling and the floor became more slippery by the minute and for a girl who already had trouble just raising a leg it was almost impossible to keep walking. She wanted to get the hell away from all those Polish and German that surrounded her, as if they were mocking her with their blonde hair. She could see that people tried to avoid her, passed her by as quickly as they could, and sometimes she caught a few insulting comments that were cast in her direction when she wasn't focusing enough on the slippery snow. Her insides were torn apart because all she wanted to do was to have enough strength to raise her head and show them that they didn't touch her, that she was way above it. She wanted to look into the eyes that tried to insult her and show them that she wasn't empty, or worthless, she wanted them to see the fire burning in her eyes, but she couldn't. She couldn't because it demanded strength she didn't have at the moment, and so Katniss felt as if her soul was slowly, excruciatingly burning and every breath she took burnt deeper and harder, but she was so damn helpless.

Finally, after a walk that seemed to take forever, she reached her Jewish neighborhood. It looked even grayer than the rest of Warsaw did. People were nothing but ghosts who hurried on the streets, eyes glowed to the concrete in fear, and suddenly the emblem she was wearing was everywhere; a young boy with a worn out hat and a dirty coat rushed through the streets running and his emblem looked brighter than it truly was, two women that wore headgear walked with little black baskets filled with some ingredients. The women were walking almost hand in hand, silently with their head bowed and muscle tense, as if they were preparing for a German soldier to walk in, the blue Star of David was easy one to found, and while Katniss thought she would feel better surrounded by her people with the same problems as hers, who felt the same way she did - she didn't. She only felt worse.

The hunger was troubling her more and more, and with every step she took she was positive that she wouldn't make the next one. Every meter she had gone was a success, and every meter meant she got closer to the little bakery she could afford.

Here she was, standing in front of the store. Every bit of power she had was focused on getting something into her mouth, at any cost, so with all the strength she had she pushed the door and was overwhelmed by the smell. It wasn't as good as it was at Mellark's, but seen as she couldn't remember the last time she ate, not to mention fresh bread, it felt like heaven. The scents and the exhaustion were too much to handle and she felt her world going into almost complete blackness and she almost tripped but luckily the door was right behind her back and it braked her fall, which ended only with a slight bang. No one bothered to look at her. People were busy with something else, their thoughts consumed them from the inside and an exhausted woman was not their top priority.

A few moments passed in which she tried to stay conscious, and she opened her eyes to watch the different sorts of bread and fresh pastries. Katniss went straight to the while loaf stood and before she grabbed it she took off Peeta's gloves - she didn't want to draw attention with her worn out, manly coat and those expensive gloves. The minute they were off she grabbed a warm loaf and almost sighed in relief. She was so hungry that it took every bit of self control she had to control herself and pay for the bread before eating from it.

She stood in the line behind a tall man, probably in his early twenties, he had sandy brown hair and a slim shoulders with a few pastries and a black bread in his underarm. There were about fifteen other in the store, and all wore a white fabric on their right sleeves. Katniss tried to feel better around them, she wanted to feel like maybe they were mistreated, but they could handle it, together. But, with every moment passed she felt worse because the emblem may had separated them from the others, it also caused them to isolate, in the name of fear.

After an eternity she was holding that bread and hadn't eaten from it she arrived to the cash desk. She placed the bread on it and watched the elderly man in front of her; he look very much alike the man who was hit by the Germans that night a couple of months ago with their white long beards and black suits. She felt like she was going to be sick, but with one look at the bread it was all forgotten. It was sad to realized what hunger did to people.

"Forty Zlotys." The old man said without blinking.

"How much?" Her eyes shot up in surprise and for the slightest moment she forgot she was starving. A few months ago she could buy five loafs in that price. She hissed in frustration because she knew she would spend any amount of money on it or else she'd faint. Reluctantly she took out the paper money Sue gave her and handed the man his bloody forty Zlotys. He sent her an apologizing smile that did everything but relax her and before she even left the store she broke a piece of it and took a bite. She moaned in delight when she felt the fresh bread filling her mouth and it seemed as if it was melting inside her mouth. Katniss enjoyed how she immediately felt better with every bite she took, and with every piece she had she felt like she would be fine, as if she would be able to manage it. For a moment she was almost happy and relaxed but that moment came to an end faster than she thought it would.

After a few bites she put the bread in her empty backpack and was ready to storm out the store and go home, to show Prim the little privilege she brought with her, but all rational thought disappeared when she heard a sound of running military boots and German voices. Everything froze as if it was a picture and everyone in the store snapped at the front door's direction. Again, she was trapped and for those frozen moments she couldn't think, not to mention comprehending the situation. Unaware she took a few steps back, her body was working on it's own, motivated by uncontrollable fear. Nothing was important anymore; Katniss wasn't hungry nor cold. The only thing that mattered was the present, and the past was nothing but a vague memory. Every thought she had about Prim, her father, her mother, Peeta, her work, the envelope in her pocket, Gale, they all vanished and left no traces, leaving room only for fear to creep in, displaying vivid pictures inside her head - the soldiers.

In one moment everything changed - she glanced at the people in the store and saw the tall man with the sandy hair with his hand on the door knob, paralyzed in fear. There was a woman with white highlights in her hair that let out a frightened sob and then she heard it.

A glass was shattered and all eyes were glowed to the window. They weren't stupid, waiting for the Germans, they just couldn't grasp what was happening. Katniss walked backwards slowly, the only sound she heard her own shallow breaths and the sound of the boots hitting the ground. Her back was pressed to the counter and then she saw it.

The first soldier appeared in front of her, a club in his hand and his light brown hair was wild from the wind. He was the perfection of confidence; he walked slowly towards the store front with a small, cruel smile curved on his lips. A few soldiers walked behind him now, arrogant and cocky just as their leader was.

The front door was open and the first soldier walked in slowly, obviously enjoying the fact that the only sound to be heard was his military boots on the wooden floor. He walked with his chest out with pride, the swastika on his uniforms was ridiculously evident in the sea of Stars of David. "Guten tag." He greeted with such a pleased smile that Katniss fought the urge to vomit, but fear was stronger.

The old owner froze in fear, and sweat began to cover his forehead, but he tried to remain calm and rational, "Good morning, Sir." His voice trembled while all the eyes in the room were fixed on him.

"I've come to boycott this property, Mr..?" His bright eyes were turquoise and shone with cruelty while he spoke with a heavy accent.

The old man swallowed hard before letting out in a whisper, "Goldberg." His eyes shot to the counter in embarrassment.

"Goldberg, ah?" His smile was so wide with pleasure it was unbelievable a man could enjoy humiliation that much. The soldiers who stood beside him didn't even try to hide their laughter. "I must ask you to leave. It's isn't your property anymore." The soldier tightened his grip on his club in a silent threat, but the smile didn't fade away.

It wasn't a secret people started losing their businesses to the German soldiers with no good reason. A few days ago Gale told her about a shoes store that was boycott because the owner was a Jewish woman, but it wasn't the thing that made her heart to beat faster than she thought was possible. She'd also heard about a Jew that owned a book store, and he refused to hand it to the Germans without a fight. It ended with him being dead, and the other three Jewish costumers that found themselves in his store at the same time. The excuse the Nazis used to justify their actions was that the Jews were threatening their safety. Katniss couldn't stand that insecurity that was building up inside her; she needed to know what to do, but she was scared down to her bones, a thing she couldn't admit just yet.

The old man eyes were still transfixed to the counter, but his hands got hold on the wooden table in front of him and without raising his gaze he let out quietly but determinately -"No."

The smug smile the soldier had started to fade, and now a dissatisfied, disgusted expression appeared, "Are you sure, Goldberg?" He pronounced his name with all the mockery he could regain. "You don't need me to tell you what will happen, right?" The woman beside her let out a shaky breath, tears were streaming down her eyes.

"No." Remained his question, but this time he locked his chocolate eyes with the soldier's, and just with one word something snapped in the German's face. His eyes just burnt with hatred. It was more than hatred, it was deep, burning loathing and then everything went chaotic.

The woman beside her screamed in horror when a couple of German soldiers shattered the storefront, and the man with the sandy hair was the first one they laid a hand on. In a split second the club the soldier held was hoisted in the air and then, with tremendous force it collided with the man's torso. A scream pierced the air and the Jew collapsed to the floor.

It was more than enough for her to see, and with eyes wide open with fright the adrenaline rushed through her body like a cure. Suddenly, she felt like she could run a thousand miles - everything to escape the German. With strength she wasn't aware she had she jumped over the counter and rushed to the back door, and apparently wasn't the only one - another man followed her and jumped over the busy counter, knocking something crystal she didn't catch. She heard the German screaming, "Jude Hund!"

The old man who owned the bakery was already at the exit and Katniss pushed every muscle in her body to move faster. She heard a few sets of footsteps behind her and she knew that looking back would only slow her down, so she had to pray she wouldn't get caught. Everything was a blur; Katniss made her way through bags of flour, almost tripping too many times and she couldn't allow that because falling meant death for her because she knew her body wouldn't stand one furious blow from a soldier. And if she wouldn't be killed she'd have nothing - they'd steal all she had had - the money, probably father's coat too, and everything she was carrying with her. She had to keep running even if her legs fell off.

Katniss leaped through another bag of flour and found herself outside, in a shadowy alley in the middle of her neighborhood. The old man who owned the place wasn't far ahead of her, and with every breath she was closing in on him. He was fast and fit for his advanced age, probably by lifting all those heavy bags, but he just wasn't fast enough and after a few seconds she passed him by, running as if her life was depended on it. Her drilled heartbeats pulsed in her head and the only sound she heard were her labored breaths.

It wasn't anything like the time she escaped Cato a few months ago, because then she hadn't known what she should except if they would have got her, but now she knew, and her life was at stake. Katniss heard something in German and then a terrible sound of a wood collided with flesh. For the second time during the past two minutes she heard an agonist scream, this time it came from the man who moments ago sold her bread. Another blow and in that silence she could hear the man's desperate pleas, "Bitte… Please…" but the answer was known in advance - another blow, but that time is was accompanied with a sickening, cracking noise.

Katniss couldn't ignore that sound and let it pass her as if nothing happened. While running on the street she turned her head back sharply and finally saw who was running with her, and after her. The man that jumped after her was right behind her, a look of complete terror on his face. Two soldiers were chasing them, cheeks rosy and breaths heavy, but that wasn't the thing she noticed.

She saw a soldier standing with a club with his hand and the old Jew laid on the snow motionless, but the thing that almost made her cry out was the red pool of blood that surrounded his head. 'Maybe he's still alive..' Katniss couldn't help but hope, but the moment she thought it the German raised his club high in the air and slammed it against the man's skull again. Another cracking sound and she knew that was it. The other Jew who was now meters away from her did cry out in surprise, his amber eyes were huge with fear while two soldiers still chased them, not even paying the slightest attention the murder that just happened.

It did slow her down, and the other Jewish man caught up with her. They were running together as fast as they could. Katniss' muscles started to burn and her lungs were desperate for air, but she wouldn't stop until a German would actually catch her, she was positive about it. They killed a man, and she saw it. The didn't just kill him, their mission was to kill Jews and enjoy it. A pictures of the club smashing against the old man's skull flashed through her head, and even though it made her almost sick with horror she was ready to run faster than she'd ever done, even faster than she did now.

They were running through the street, and made fast turns in small alleys, but apparently it wasn't enough. Not for the other man who ran beside her. While they were passing a ruined building that got hit by the German's air strikes the man wasn't careful enough and he stumbled over a few stones he didn't notice. All she heard was his falling and a frustrated, horrified cry that came from the man's throat, "Come back and help me!" She heard his desperate agonised plea but she couldn't stop, she was too afraid to stop, and now with her body working on its survival instinct she knew she couldn't stop even if she tried to help the man. Another pair of legs stopped running after her and now there was only one soldier chasing her. Her quick, light legs against the German's strong and long ones. But then she heard a terrible sound - a gun shot. Her eyes widened in horror and as if another dose of adrenaline was injected into her she moved her legs faster and faster.

Everything was becoming a blur now and she could only focus on the few steps in front of her and her labored breaths. If the German would catch up with her it would mean a certain death with no chance of survival. Another man was killed and she tried her best to make sure that she wouldn't be the next one. "Stop!" The soldier who was chasing her yelled and she did the exact opposite. But then another gun shot was fired, this time in her direction, and she swallowed a frightened sob and continued running through the alleys. He missed her once, and she knew it was only because he was running while shooting because the heavy footsteps didn't stop echoing in her head, keeping her running. Another gun shot. This time it almost hit her, and luckily she took a step to the right just in the right moment to avoid the bullet. She heard the bullet's rush of air when it passed her by a few centimeters only and the horror she was experiencing was ineffable. She had never felt so terrified in her whole life. "Jude schlampe!" He called after her in low, hoarse voice from running, "Jewish bitch!" But that was the least of her worries at the moment. After a few seconds Katniss could swear that she heard the Nazi's tempo slow down a bit, and she found the courage to look behind her shoulder.

The soldier was indeed running slower, holding on his stomach and a mask of pain and exhaustion evident on his face even from that distant. "Du wirdst das bedauern!" He roared after her, slowing even more, moving to a walk, the black gun still in his right hand and it almost glowed against the white snow. "You'll regret it!" She didn't care because suddenly she felt hope rising in her, and making it home was a possibility. She burst out of the security of the dark, narrow alleys and found herself in one of the main streets of her neighborhood. Her long black braid was jumping on her back and she felt how sweat covered her body; she didn't know if it was because she ran, or because she was so scared. The gray street was almost empty and Katniss could see all the faces that sprung out from all the windows and stores, all eyes wide and frightened. She heard a baby's cry from somewhere and she knew that everyone heard those few gun shots. Everyone was watching her while she kept on running, unsure if the danger was really gone. Katniss felt too exposed in the wide, bright empty street, and all the eyes that were glowing made her feel uncomfortable. As soon as she could she returned to the alley's secure shadows and kept running in them.

Now, all she heard where her own light footsteps on the snow. It took her another minute to emerge out to her own street and still running she arrived to her sad, gloomy building. She was safe, but there was something she couldn't quite put a finger on. She took the stairs two by two, but in the middle of her way up she stopped. A lump in her throat made it impossible to breathe, and it had nothing to do with her burning lungs.

She just couldn't make her way through the last staircase and she found herself leaning against the wall behind her and eyes closed. Her heart was still racing wildly and she tried to catch her breath, but that wasn't the reason she stopped. She felt the unfamiliar tears filling up her eyes, and the lump in her throat hurt and made her breaths become into uncontrollable sobs. She felt an urge to fight the tears, but her protests did nothing, and it seemed that only when she told herself that she wasn't allowed to cry the first salty tear made her way down her cheek. Somewhere deep inside her she felt her heart flinch with pain and it was so overwhelming that it just made it harder to breath with such pressure on her chest. Katniss felt as if she was going through a breakdown. Everything hurt; her legs, her lungs, her head, her chest and she couldn't say a proper word with the way she trembled uncontrollably, as if she was holding all her tears and anxiety inside. The pain in her stomach was too much to handle and she clenched her abdomen with both her hands. A picture of a splash of little red liquid next to the Baker's head and the picture of the club hitting his skull sent chills through her body and she fought the urge to puke. But when a picture of the man who was running with flashed through her head she couldn't help it. The vomit made its way up and the bread she had eaten turned out to be a waste of money. Acidic gastric juices burned their way up and she couldn't stop it; her tears mixing up with cold sweat and her eyes were shut in pain, or maybe in order to stop the damn tears from falling, but it did no good.

She collapsed against the wall and wiped the remains of vomit from her face with her hands, and for a moment she couldn't care less. Katniss stopped fighting tears at that moment because it was a lost cause, and while tears streamed down her eyes and she sobbed she let agony invade and take over her. Strangely, out of an instinct she wanted Peeta's strong arm around her. She wanted to hear his steady heartbeats and his warm body pressed against her, because in some weird, wrong way, the German baker was the only one that made her feel like she was worth being saved. She covered her face with both her hands and kept trembling. In a moment, all the adrenaline vanished and she was left there like an empty, damaged shell with nothing. It was the longest day she had ever had; the thought of her being fired flashed through her head returned in a second all her worries and concerns - the money, Prim, Gale and now even Rory. Everyone who wore that cursed emblem was now effected and there was nothing she could do about it.

She couldn't guarantee Prim's safety and that just made her angrier. Anger was fighting its way inside her, poisoning her. It was more than just anger, it was hatred, and it was directed at herself. She loathed her weakness, how pathetic she was sitting there, sobbing like a child. She hated herself for not stepping up, for doing nothing to protect herself. She just let those Nazis humiliate her, fear them, as if she was submitted to them, to their belief she was nothing. Although her protests to stop falling apart tears were still welled up in her eyes, but at least she stopped shaking and the lump in her throat was slowly fading. But then, something bothered her, and she searched through her pockets hectically.

She found it - the envelope Peeta gave her, the help he asked to give her and as if her mind tried to find something else to focus on than her self-hatred and weakness she opened it with trembling hands.

There was a note, and she opened it, unable to read it due to the tears that blocked and blurred her vision. She wiped them with the back of her hand and looked at the neatly written words on it, and it took her a few moments to relax and start connecting the words into meaningful sentences.

'Katniss,

I believe that if you are holding this letter you accepted my help, which means that now I'm happier and more confident than I ever was before. I'm sorry that you have to read it instead of me telling you it, but it seems like my tongue always got it wrong when you're next to me. I know you must believe that I pity you, and I'm certain you doubt my motives, but I promise you that I never pitied you. Ever since you walked into the classroom, hand in hand with you father, on our first day of school I noticed you.
I know you have probably already forgotten it, but I remember how the teacher asked if someone was willing to share his favorite song and you almost jumped out of your seat from excitement, your hair was already braided then.
You sang in some foreign language, words that I could not understand, but when you sang everything went quiet and you glowed. I'm telling you this because I think it's only fair that you will understand why I want to help you.
I noticed you since I met you, and I have cared for you since then. I'm sorry for being a coward, but I do hope you understand my fear of talking to you. You were almost untouchable to me, something I was afraid to ruin by stupid words, and you always looked so perfect from the distance.
I hate myself for telling it now, before I'm heading to Germany, but I believe that it's better to do something later, than to never even try.
I hope this will help you, and please don't feel bad for excepting it.
It was meant for you, and if you wouldn't have taken it, it would have just laid untouchable in my drawer.
So please take it and use it the way you wish to use it, because this is what I want.
I do hope I will see you again, Katniss.
Also, in case you need something look for my father. He'd help you.
And I want to ask you one thing - take care of yourself for me,

Peeta Mellark.'

Katniss read it twice before she was sure she understood everything that was written on that piece of paper, and even the second time she found it hard to believe. She just didn't know what to make of it. Her tears dried on her cheek, but her heart was still beating fast and strong.

She couldn't grasp anything right now, and she just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up in this surreal, sick reality.

Looking into the envelope she gasped with surprise, and with insecure hand she took out a pile of paper money. It was a dream she was having she told herself, and she even pinched herself, just to make sure that she was truly awake.

She was.

Katniss ran a finger through the money and with curiosity being her great sin she started counting it, every time she found another paper she was taken aback. She finished counting it and couldn't believe it, her jaw dropped in astonishment.

She counted it twice, not trusting her hands, but it was true. Peeta Mellark gave her three thousand Zlotys.

Tears welled up in her eyes again, but she didn't care because they were tears of joy. She would survive the winter, Prim would survive it, and she knew that this money would be enough to help Gale. Katniss let out a little laugh and couldn't stop laughing, like a lunatic.

Katniss was saved, rescued by the handsome boy with the blonde curls. It took her a few moment to relax, and suddenly the smile faded from her face and she knew that she would owe Peeta a life debt, and she would do everything he'd ask her, and if he asked her to take care of herself - she would.

At any coast.

She would survive.

OK, here you go. I hope you enjoyed it. I promised I'll update and it's a long one, and very eventful.

So, things are going to get darker and darker, so from now on all chapters (I think so) will be M rated, and I'll warn you in advance. For now, it mostly violence.

If you'd leave a review I'd write faster, so please .. :)

I want to thank everyone that read or reviewed, it warms my heart.

I'll try to update as soon as possible,

R&R,

Rony