A/N: Yay, faster update :) The lyrics will make sense when we get to the interview ;) Also, in answer to 'Guest's' question Lucifer is using a Logan Lerman lookalike as his vessel (picture here: user_images/S/SW/SWE/SWEETCUPCAKEXO/1293941126_1300_ ) Michael is still using Adam Milligan (Jake Abel, picture here; . /_gZxvCHbYjPo/Sf0B3AFmMSI/AAAAAAAADqs/_pevF_n_ ) Thanks for the lovely reviews.
It's time to make it hot, you know that we don't stop.
And when you get it hot, you got to be on top.
You wanna be on top?
Na na na na na na, na na na na." – Tyra Banks, America's Next Top Model Theme.
Meanwhile…
-Sam-
Sam was in shock. This woman, who looked eerily like the dead demon who had tricked him into starting the apocalypse and he didn't know, was kissing him. Freaking kissing him! When she pulled away Sam stared at her, unsure of what to say or how to react. Dean did it for him, eyes wide in surprise.
"Wait. You and Ruby?" he asked, looking between the two of them uncomfortably.
"You and Eloa?" Sam shot back without thinking. Yeah this was weird but Sam couldn't help but scoff a little at his brother's attitude. Dean's tone made it clear that he wasn't surprised about whom he was apparently dating but more that she had chosen to be with him. Dean floundered slightly for words at that, uncertain of what to reply. From beside Sam, Ruby rolled her eyes.
"Do you honestly think that's funny, Jensen?" she snapped, looking less than impressed. Dean swallowed and shuffled his feet awkwardly as he tried to fix the situation.
"Right. Right. 'cause you're not Ruby. You...I mean, how could you be?" he stammered. Sam nodded a little to urge him along, secretly a little amused but just as freaked out by the whole thing. "You...Of course! You are the lovely actress who plays Ruby. And you are, uh, in...Jared's house, Uh, because you two are..." Dean trailed off and Sam nudged him pointedly to make him speak. Dean must have found some sort of inspiration as a second later he continued. "Married!" Ruby still didn't look pleased though and gave him a disgusted look that grew into a sneer as Dean turned to Sam. "You married fake Ruby?" Sam shrugged a little and mouthed 'Eloa' at him in response as Ruby spoke again.
"What are you doing?" she demanded. Sam bit his lip then replied, trying to seem natural.
"Work. Work!"
"Yeah, just, uh, thought I'd pop in, say "hey." Hey," Dean joined in to keep up the act, failing miserably. "Uh, and - and -and maybe run some lines. It's..."
"You've never even been to our house," Ruby interrupted cuttingly. Dean winced slightly as if she had actually hit him.
"Well, now that I know there's an alpaca out back, I'm definitely coming back," he replied with a bad attempt at humour.
"Well, alpacas are the greenest animal," Ruby said flatly once again looking fed up with his behaviour. Sam sighed a little, glancing between them. It seemed that even fake Ruby and Dean couldn't get on whilst the woman was 'out of character'. Ruby changed the subject quickly after that before excusing herself to go to some sort of charity dinner that Sam had a feeling he should have been going to from the way she talked to him about it. He couldn't honestly say he was sad to see her go. Both he and Dean had stuff to do and she would only get in the way if she was hanging around 'their' house. As soon as she was gone they started searching for some sort of computer to see where they could get a 'bone of a lesser saint' as Balthazar had put it. It took them a while, what with the house being huge and the rooms being over stylised in every way possible, but eventually they managed.
A few hours later they were sat at desks, both looking up bones of saints as if it was normal for them. Well, they had dealt with weirder things before; suicidal teddy bears, murderous fairytale characters and urban legends coming to life. Compared to some of those buying the bones of someone holy was pretty tame.
"Wrist bone of saint and holy reliquary. Museum-quality, from diocese in Oaxaca." - Looks legit." Sam stated as he found another website, hoping that this one was actually useful. So far all he had found were badly written necromantic websites with supposed dark (and very much fake) spells and potions on them. They were nothing to worry about but they weren't particularly helpful in their case either. Dean came over to look over his shoulder and nodded, starting to muse over how soon they could get it and how. Sam cut across him quickly, holding up a black credit card. "Or we could just buy it," he suggested. Dean's jaw dropped for a moment then he smirked.
"Hello Jared Padalecki."
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-Sam -
The next day the got up early and were dismayed to find that Clif the driver was waiting for them in his car outside. Luckily, after a little persuading, they managed to get him to take them to the airport that the bone was supposed to arrive at so they could collect it. Sam was the one to actually collect it from the plane, it being fake his credit card after all, and when he got back Clif was nervously asking Dean whether they were doing anything illegal. Sam raised his eyebrows.
"Would it make you feel better if we said no?" he asked pointedly. Clif was silent for a moment before replying with a barely audible 'no' and starting to drive then the studio that they had first arrived in. When they arrived, after thanking Clif, they hurried back to the set they had crash landed on to prepare, surprised when the lights above them flicked on a few moments later and voices began to echo around the room. The brothers glanced at each other as Bob walked into view, talking to a crewmember gruffly. When he saw the Winchesters he smiled.
"Here for the first run-through, before anyone else? Dedication!" he commented. Sam raised his eyebrows and Dean stepped forward to talk to the guy, trying to seem confident when he wasn't.
"Uh, can I talk to you for a second? Um, we're gonna need the, uh, set cleared for - safe side, an hour or so," Dean said as Sam walked away to put their box containing the ingredients for their spell somewhere safe while people were around. Bob looked at him in disbelief.
"You need it cleared," he repeated.
"Yeah. Yeah. Me and, um...Jared were gonna do some actor stuff," Dean continued hopefully. Bob seemed to be taking the words in a little slowly as if he wasn't really sure what Dean was trying to say. A moment later Sam was out of earshot and sat down nervously, not sure of how Bob was going to reply to their request. The fake Castiel, Misha, was sat on a chair a little in front of him and turned round to look at the younger Winchester.
"Ooh, 'priority'," he commented "What's in it?" Sam barely glanced at him, replying without thinking.
"I bought part of a dead person." The other guy's eyes widened comically as he looked at the box with a nervous expression before looking back to Sam and suddenly seeming nonchalant. Sam had to give it to him – he was a good actor.
"Oh, cool." Sam was about to answer him when Dean came over, looking a little panicked. He stood up, leaving the box on the chair, and met him half way with a frown.
"Uh so…bad news. We kinda have to do a bit of acting," Dean told him sheepishly. Sam stared at his brother at the revelation.
"What?"
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-Sam-
This was officially Sam's worst nightmare come to life. Him and Dean acting? It turned out that they weren't very good. In fact, they were terrible. For all their lying and fake identities during hunts they couldn't act to save their lives and, to make it worse, they were acting as themselves. Who the hell was that shit that they couldn't pretend to be pretending to be them self? Okay, so that sounded a little complicated but the idea was simple. It was an idea that neither of the Winchesters could grasp. Currently they were stood on the same set – Bobby's house. Now, however, the guy who played Cas was with them for some sort of scene where they were talking about Balthazar. Sam stood nervously at the back of the set, Dean a little to his left as 'Castiel' stepped forward to face the camera in front of them.
"Balthazar is no hero. But he knows Raphael will never take him back," the actor declared before turning to face them. Both the brothers froze as he did and Dean looked down, noticing he was on his mark and stepping on to it.
"Cut!" the now familiar voice of Bob yelled, sounding annoyed. A few moments later they started again much to Sam and Dean's displeasure.
"Balthazar is no hero. But he knows Raphael will never take him back," Misha told them again, exactly as he had before. This time Dean attempted to reply through the script, clutching it in is his hand nervously. Sam bit his lip, hoping he would do it right.
"Dean, grimly." No such luck apparently because Dean was reading word for word. Most people knew that the beginning of the speaker's part wasn't supposed to be said. Evidently Dean didn't get the memo. "And yet, somehow you got no problem with it!"
"Cut!" Sam glanced at Dean at the newest shout and his brother groaned, glaring at the script with unhidden venom. He clearly wasn't impressed and Sam wholeheartedly agreed with him. This was absolute bullshit. He was briefly aware of Misha mouthing something to the camera with a shocked expression but didn't even care. He was too busy freaking out. They moved on to another part of the scene after that and it was Sam's turn to speak. Not much fun for the younger Winchester. At the call of action Sam started talking, trying to be convincing but too busy staring at the camera.
"That's because...That's because we have no other choice."
"Don't look at the camera," Dean hissed at him. Sam gave him a frightened look.
"What?"
"Look anywhere but the camera!" Sam quickly looked at the ceiling at that, taking his brother's advice and repeating his line with as much conviction as he could muster.
"That's because we have no other choice!"
"Cut!" Bob yelled again, gesturing for him to move onto another line with a sour facial expression. "Action!" Sam tried again with the new line but Bob shouted out another cut before her had even started the second sentence, restarting once again. Carrying on as he was told to Sam tried not to let his frustration show.
"If there's a key...then there has to be a lock. And when we find the lock, we can get the weapons, and then we can have the weapons," he said gesturing wildly and making erratic movements between Dean and Misha. The latter was staring at him with wide eyes, possibly as part of his character but Sam had a feeling it was more out of fear as he continued. "And the lock. We'll still have the lock, I imagine, because we've opened it, and, of course, the initial key."
"We need to get all three of that crap," Dean agreed, managing to keep to his cue. Sam, however, blinked at him in confusion.
"What?" he asked without thinking, dropping his 'character'.
"That's how he talks," Dean explained before turning to Bob, looking nervous as he addressed the director. "Do we really need all these lines? I mean, I-I think we've covered it. Right?" Bob gave him a nasty look waving them both away with a flick of his hand and turning to talk to someone sat beside him. The two brothers quickly went back over to the chairs with unhidden eagerness and Sam looked through the script as he sat down. He shook his head as he read it.
"Who wrote this?" he demanded, sounding slightly desperate and running a hand through his eternally messy hair. "Nobody says 'penultimate'!" Dean nodded in agreement.
"Gun, mouth," he stated making a gun motion at his chin as he spoke. "Now." As he stopped talking across the room so did Bob and the crew guy who quickly announced they were moving on, much to the Winchester boy's relief. Grabbing the box they headed back onto the set using the prop table to keep it on as they unpacked the various ingredients. It only took a few minutes to complete the spell, much to Sam's surprise, and after a sarcastic comment from Dean they set about finishing it, jumping through the fake window.
Moments later Sam found out just how hard the set floor was as the both crash landed onto it. The spell hadn't worked and although Sam hadn't had much hope about it in the first place he couldn't help but be a little disappointed. As much as their world was hell, it was still their home. Here he and Dean weren't even brothers for crying out loud.
"Maybe we did it wrong," he suggested as they made their way back to Jensen Ackles trailer to regroup and come up with a plan B. Dean shook his head, about to speak, when a random crew member came over and interrupted them.
"Mr Ackles, it's time for your interview with the CW channel," the guy said, grabbing Dean's arm and half dragging him away. The elder Winchester gave his brother a panicked look.
"Wh-what? No, I'm fine thanks. Can you rearrange it or something I'm not really-" he replied even as the person pulled him towards wherever the hell he was supposed to be going. Sam followed a little way behind, watching in amusement. So now Dean had to go through the interview hell.
"You've rearranged it twice now sir," the crew member cut in "CW do not want to wait any longer. They need to record it ASAP."
"Well, can't we do it tomorrow?" Dean asked desperately. The guy shook his head and stopped suddenly outside a studio, getting a key out of his pocket and opening the door.
"As I said Mr Ackles. It can't be rearranged, even for a day." The man then turned to Sam with a slight frown. "I didn't know you needed to be in the studio Mr Padalecki."
"Erm…yeah, I though I might just hang around. Jensen and I want to run some lines after so…" Sam lied. The guy nodded, seemingly convinced and ushered them both into the building. Sam held back a grin.
This was going to be hilarious.
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-Dean-
"So, Jensen, season six; Sam's back from hell, he lost his soul, you got it back again and now there's apparently gonna be a new angel on the block. So tell us. Are the rumours true? Has Dean got a new angel?" the interviewer asked brightly, swishing her brown hair back over her shoulder. Dean stared at her for a moment, completely stage struck and speechless. They were sat on the set of the 'Tyra Banks Show'. Dean could hardly believe he was being interviewed by freaking Tyra Banks! Plus, she was asking him about Eloa. Why was everyone asking him or mentioning freaking Eloa? After a moment of silence, he realised he had to answer the question pretty soon and swallowed, trying to pretend that this was just some random chick asking weird questions in a bar.
"Well, I wouldn't say she's replaced Castiel," he replied with a smile, slipping in 'flirting mode' with a bit of unease. "Saying that though…you probably will be seeing a lot of her. Castiel is kinda busy throughout the season, so El-this new angel provides some angelic help here and there."
"Ah, so the new angel is female?" Tyra inquired.
"Erm, yeah…played by my wife actually…"
"Wow! That's amazing! Danneel on the show guys! Oh, and talking of romantic partners, I've heard some speculations that there's gonna be some romance on the cards for both the Winchester boys. Can you give us any hints about pairings? Will Destiel fans finally have their dreams come true?"
"What?" Dean asked, shocked. Tyra laughed, showing pearly white teeth.
"Surely you know your own pairing names," she said cheerfully "Destiel. Dean and Castiel slash."
"Oh, no, no, no! That is one pairing that won't be featured!" Dean replied quickly, secretly having at mini heart attack at the mere thought. Pairing Sam and him was bad enough, but him and Cas? Fan girls were psychos, he decided, absolute psychos. Dean wasn't gay. At all.
"Awww, sorry Destiel fans! One rumour down!" Tyra announced "Any other romance hints you can give us Jensen?" Dean floundered for a moment, trying to think of something then smirked. It may throw away the interview, he wasn't sure, but it would sure as hell annoy Sam.
"Well…Sam might be getting a little lucky but not with a lady." He glanced into the audience as he spoke, waiting to see Sam's bitch face. He was surprised when he couldn't find it; Sam wasn't there anymore.
"Ooooh!" Tyra commented "And who's the lucky guy?"
"I can't confirm that," Dean said, grinning like a jack o lantern and wildly making things up. "It does have something to do with Cas, the war and someone we thought would never grace the show again though."
"Wow, so a lot of mystery. Talking of Castiel and the war. Gossip mags have been saying that season six has him bringing out his dark side. Just what type of dark side is it exactly?" Dean stared at her again, looking confused and slightly uneasy.
"I can't tell you that I'm afraid," he replied without humour. Tyra looked surprised but nodded turning to the audience.
"Well there you have it guys! A new angel, slash and possibly a darker Cas!" Dean guessed that that meant the interview as over and, after a moment someone yelled 'cut' confirming his presumption. He stood up quickly, noticing Sam coming back into the room as he did. Without another word he hurried over.
"Where the hell were you? I thought you were staying!" he hissed. Sam shook his head.
"I'll tell you later, alright?" he said looking at the other people in the room pointedly. Dean sighed, agitated.
"Fine, but you're gonna tell me ASAP. You didn't just have to go through interview hell, acting as if you knew shit when you didn't."
"I did earlier," Sam reminded him with a small smile. "Dude, it couldn't have been that bad. You just had to talk about our lives."
"It was fucking awful!" Dean told him, gesticulating wildly to emphasise his point. "She started asking me if I was gonna get with Cas! You know, as in, get with get with!" Sam laughed, not able to hold it in.
"At least she wasn't asking if we were gonna get it on."
"This isn't funny Sam!" Dean growled.
"It is," Sam disagreed, smirking. "It's hilarious! Almost worth the trip."
"Yeah well it looks like you might be getting some guy on guy action later on in this freak show anyway," Dean retorted. Sam's eyes widened and Dean grinned; pleased the tables had now turned on his brother.
"What?"
"Well I might have mentioned it in the interview…" Dean teased, loving that he was the one with the cards now. "And they didn't say anything about it being wrong." Sam glared at him.
"Liar."
"I'm not lying Sammy and I can't say I'm all that surprised. All that incredibly mushy talk about feelings and shit? It all makes sense to me now. The reason you act like a girl is 'cause you wanna be boned like a girl," Dean replied. Sam's expression turned even sourer as each word left his mouth, morphing into a full blown bitch face when he had finished.
"I'm not gay Dean," he insisted, tone dangerously close to violent. Dean shrugged nonchalantly ignoring his brother's mood.
"Well, according to the writers of 'Supernatural' you are," he stated. "Anyway, more important things to discuss you know. Your sexual preference can wait." Sam gave him another warning glare and he held up his hands. "Serious now Sammy, the spell didn't work so maybe we can't get out of…whatever this is right now, but we can at least get back to America."
"Yeah," Sam agreed shortly as they walked out of the studio and across the various buildings for the 'Supernatural' sets. Dean was glad he had let the gay jokes slide for now but knew he would probably get hell for them later from Sam's bad mood. They started to walk toward a kind of cross roads thing and Dean started to go ahead at it. "Wait a minute….we should go this way!" Sam said, pointing to the right. Dean shook his head.
"No, it's this way." He continued the way he was going but Sam didn't move, still looking in the direction he had motioned to. Dean looked over his shoulder at him as the younger Winchester spoke, trying not to look exasperated by Sam's constant bickering tone.
"No, Dean, I really think that we should-" Sam began, suddenly the guy who had been chasing Balthazar before they had been sent to this place rounded the corner in front of Dean, who didn't see as he was looking at Sam. "Dean!" The elder Winchester turned to look where he was going but it was too late. Virgil had already got close enough to get to him.
"You think you can run?" the angel asked scornfully, placing a hand on Dean's forehead to mojo him to death.
"No!" Sam shouted, knowing anything he did would have no effect now, and Dean tensed. Nothing happened.
"What's happening?" Vigil demanded, clearly trying again. Sam frowned, relieved but confused before a small smile flitted onto his lips.
"Dean, the spell didn't work…maybe it's because no magic works..." he suggested as Dean relaxed a little, also a bit unsure of what was going on. Dean smirked at the idea and looked up at Virgil. The powerless angel glared at him.
"Which makes you nothing but a dick," he summarised before punching him in the face. Sam joined in straight away as Virgil went to fight back leading to a full out brawl with the Winchesters against the angel. After a bit of a scuffle, the brothers got into a pattern where they took turns punching the angel and throwing him between them. The fight was pretty short lived after that though as they had drawn attention to themselves and some of the 'Supernatural' crew members hurried over, pulling Sam and Dean away from Vigil.
"No! Stop! You don't understand!" Sam protested, trying to twist out of their grip as Virgil managed to steal the key from his pocket before running away.
"You're dead, Virgil!" Dean yelled at the angel's retreating back. "Virgil! I'm gonna break your frigging neck! Hey!"