Chapter 10

A/N: Thank you to quickihdetherum for being so helpful in bringing this story to life. I am expecting this to need perhaps another five chapters but to be honest, this fic is going every witch way and I am just rolling with it.

Thank you so very much for your comments, kudo's, faves and follows. They always make my day and keep me smiling.

Pansy stretched her legs and sank into the uncomfortable waiting room chair. Next to her Harry sat stiff and unmoving, his eyes on the receptionist's desk. The receptionist, a young man with long blond hair and specks of acne on his chin, did his utmost best not to look at them. Pansy grinned at him and he bowed his head lower, his lips moving as he counted out the letters on his desk. Letters for the Minister, Pansy assumed. The man was so very busy, so busy that he had refused to see them for the last week and a half. Harry grit his teeth and she placed a hand on his arm and bit her tongue to keep back the 'I told you so.'

'How long are we going to wait today?' Harry asked.

They had come to the Ministry holding hands like children about to get Sorted. Harry's certainty had been infectious and Pansy had allowed herself to believe that it would be easy. They would go to the Minister and he would grand them whatever Harry wanted and then they would go to Antwerp and meet with his cousin and there would be smooth sailing all around for the rest of her life. Of course, real life didn't work that way. It took three days for Harry's comfortable bubble to burst but when he realized that Shacklebolt was not going to see him, was perhaps even avoiding him, his anger burned quick and destructive. Pansy had managed to prevent him from yelling at the lackey with the ungrateful task of delivering the news that Minister Shacklebolt was very-busy-regrettably-so, but she could not prevent him from sitting there as if he was atop of a life wire.

'As long as you want,' she said moving her fingers up his arm, 'I don't need to be anywhere.'

Around them countless Ministry employees were scurrying around like ants trapped in a maze. Sometimes one would give the pair of them a curious look, turn red upon recognizing Harry, and scurry off into an unknown direction. Pansy let out a sigh and started counting the tiles on the ceiling.

The Ministry of Magic, to Pansy, had changed over the years from an impressive castle to boring hub to an anxiety inducing prison, a place she felt she couldn't breathe in, that cut off the circulation of her blood and made her a statue, trapped in her own fear. The first time, with Harry by her side, the Ministry had looked like it was mocking her, reminding her just how far outside of her assigned place she dared to go. After four days though it merely looked like a waiting hall, a place to sit in, like she was sitting now, and look at the walls and think. She had started to quite enjoy herself in this hall with its seemingly endless slew of receptionists and other staff running around all looking so very busy. Busy enough to forget the war they had just collectively gone through.

An hour passed. The blond receptionist disappeared. Harry started thrumming his fingers against his knee. Pansy closed her eyes. It was nice, just to sit here, to know that this was something she still could do without fear. To maybe even imagine that she could belong again, in this place and perhaps to this man next to her, however unexpected that was. The last days had had a routine that she was growing accustomed to. Pick up Harry from Auror training, sit in this waiting hall until the receptionist told them to leave then go home to their room in the Leaky where Harry would rage for a while and then fall asleep in her arms. There was life in this endless waiting, or rather Pansy thought, she enjoyed the waiting for a life.

'I understand the two of you want to speak with me,' said a booming voice above her head. Pansy opened her eyes. The Minster was an impressive sight, she had to admit, power suited him. It made him more approachable, made the way he commanded the room seem natural. He was wearing a formal robe that Pansy immediately saw was hand- made and he was looking down at the two of them. 'I assume this is about your father Miss Parkinson?'

Pansy's lips twisted into a grimace. He actually thought she was here to beg. He thought she brought Harry with her to help her beg. She felt her insides grow cold, her spine straightened. She was incredibly glad that the length of her skirt was just right, that her make-up was flawless and she looked at him, this powerful man, and did not stand up to acknowledge him.

Harry did stand, blinking, he shook her hand off and she saw in his eyes the same foolish hope, the same certainty, as if they had not just spent a week being pointedly rejected.

'Actually, Minister Shacklebolt' he said, at least he had enough brains not to address the Minister by his first name. 'I am here to talk to you about a different matter. Pansy has been kind enough to keep me company these last few days while I waited to see you.'

Pansy's eyebrows shot up. There was steel in his voice and not a hint of friendliness. Had she just underestimated Harry Potter? The thought made her stomach do a backflip.

The Minster looked confused for a fraction of a second, then his shoulders relaxed and the expression on his face became almost friendly. 'I'll gladly make time for you, Harry,' he said. Harry looked back at Pansy.

'Will you wait?' he asked. There was a hint of insecurity to his tone, or perhaps she just imagined it.

'No one's inviting me to come with,' she said almost lazily and both the Minister and Harry blanched. Inwardly, she smiled. There was power here, the kind of power she had been taught how to wield from a young age and yet she found herself unwilling to push further.

'I'll wait,' she said when Harry was about to open his mouth, he closed it again with a snap and Pansy watched, amused, how the colour rose in his cheeks. He was easy to rile she decided. And then she decided, she liked that.

The two men disappeared into a long hallway that, Pansy assumed lead to the Minister's office. To Pansy, it felt like they were leading Harry away from her, the Harry she had come to know and she was suddenly, painfully, afraid of what would return to her. She sat up straight, her eyes fixed on the receptionist, the muscles in her legs tight and painful. She sat like that for what seemed to be ages when the door behind her opened and Draco and Theo appeared. Theo's eyes lit up when he saw her and he grinned and waved but Draco kept looking in front of him.

She felt anger flare up in her, white hot and overwhelming, because Draco Malfoy, her Draco, wouldn't even look at her when it didn't suit him. And then she thought that she had simply lost the ability to exist with her emotions, they would overpower her one by one until she belonged to them bodily. Her eyes to anger, her mind to fear, her heart to… well that one was still being played around with by every single thing she felt. She knew she would run into someone at the Ministry but she had expected that someone to be from Harry's side, Granger, or a Weasley and then she could stand perfectly still and flash her angry eyes and puff her cheeks and think: how unfair and think: is he mine? Isn't he? How stupid are his friends? But here she was and the friends she had run into were hers, or had been hers, and she felt grateful that Harry wasn't there and then ashamed of her gratefulness.

Draco had drawn himself up to his full height, his pointed chin trusted out like an insult. He looked like his father when he tried to hide his feelings, Pansy wondered if he knew that about himself. Probably not. People don't look in mirrors when they are uncomfortable. She wanted to reach out to him, instead she stood and hugged Theo.

'What are you doing here?' Draco asked. Pansy looked at him, she could snap something back, she supposed something along the lines of 'None of your business' or 'Could ask you the same.' Something that would amount to: 'You left me for her'. And then what? It was clear to her that if she did that then whatever vague and uncertain future she was beginning to build with Harry would not become solid. Ever. If she did that, then what was she doing with Harry to begin with? Who would she be if she was the kind of person who used one man's pain while secretly wanting to be with another?

'I'm waiting,' she said and smiled. She didn't want to delve in further, not because she didn't want them to know she was with Harry but because she didn't want them to know why Harry was here to begin with.

'Waiting,' Theo said and sat down into her chair. 'Funny, I'm here to wait too.'

Pansy gave him a quizzical look.

'I want to speak to the Minister,' Draco said. 'Regarding my father.' There was colour in his cheeks now. Pansy was struck by the notion that this boy who was trying so hard to be a man, used to be her friend before they went and got all complicated. Draco used to be just Draco, her confidant, the boy to be friends with and make all her other friends jealous, the one who had taken her hand and led her into her first ballroom, the one who had spent entire nights making her homework with her, preparing for their O.W.L.'s.

She grinned at him. 'Good luck with that. Harry and I had to sit here for more than a week before he deigned to come out. He's acting more like a king then a Minister, though, I suppose there is not much difference.'

Both men looked at her with almost identical expressions of surprise on their faces. Pansy kept her face neutral. She was not going to make a week with Potter ruin her friendships but she also refused to forfeit a chance for a another week.

'You're here with Potter?' Draco asked at the same time as Theo asked ' Aw hole week?'

Pansy sat down next to Theo and rolled her eyes. ' Longer. They refused to see him.'

Theo let out a low whistle. 'Well that does not look hopeful for you then,' he said to Draco. Draco's features relaxed a little.

'Don't know, I mean, a week and some days, it's not even the length of a decent Quidditch match.'

The three of them looked at each other and for some reason started laughing. To Pansy the whole situation suddenly seemed ridiculous. Here they were, she and her two friends, in the waiting hall of the Minister of Magic waiting for her new lover, she couldn't exactly make herself think 'boyfriend', to be done pleading for the dignity of one dead man only for her best friend to go in and plead the dignity of a man who was as good as dead. These were supposed to be the grown-ups the ones they were mean to look up to and aspire to be like. And they had nothing to show for themselves. They had, Pansy thought, nothing on them. Her and her friends who had done and would do more great things, more useful things than these so called adults ever did. She wiped a tear from her cheek and put one hand around Theo's shoulders and the other around Draco's who had sat down beside her.

Love poured through her, uncomplicated and more filling then the anger and when she looked at Draco again she knew she would be able to save their friendship and knew that that was all she truly cared about.

'How's your mom?' she asked.

Draco stopped laughing abruptly. 'Strange, to be honest,' he said frowning. 'She is away from the house a lot, preoccupied. I thought at first it was because of Astoria, that she didn't approve but that doesn't seem to be it.'

'Your mother is one of the most complicated and secretive people I have ever met,' Pansy said 'She-' but she stopped abruptly and looked towards the hall. The blond receptionist was leading Harry back towards her. Draco stood abruptly, his jaw set, his eyes full of uncertainty and dislike. She could see, even from a distance, that Harry was angry, it was in the set of his shoulders the way he moved his body carefully as if trying to keep all the anger from boiling over. When he saw her he froze, his fists were balled and an array of emotions passed on his face. Finally he shook his head, once quickly and walked towards her.

'No luck?' she asked standing to meet him. Harry glanced at her two friends. It felt to Pansy as if she could see a complicated puzzle in full view for the first time. Draco had stood upon seeing Harry and was now at the far end of the hall as far away from the three of them as possible. He was looking at them with an expression only someone who knew him intimately would recognize as lost. Harry looked grateful to for a chance to let out some of his anger as he stared at Draco. Pansy took his hand in hers and he turned to her, confused, as if he had forgotten she was there. She squeezed his fingers.

'What did he say?' she asked again.

'What are you doing here, Malfoy?' Harry asked instead.

'Nothing that concerns you, Potter,' Draco shot back. Pansy let out a frustrated huff. At Hogwarts they had managed to be civil but apparently running into each other like this made them thirteen again. She wanted to slap Harry just as much as she wanted his hand in hers.

Theo was the only one who seemed calm. But Theo, she knew, was always calm, because unlike the three of them, Theo had an escape route. Theo was good at something and she could see in the lines of his face and the glint of his eyes that that something was going to get him out of here. Far away from Hogwarts and Britain and the war and everyone. Theo had known that he would escape somehow, he had known that since he was eleven, and now he had carried that knowledge to fruition and was about to put it to work for him. He stepped between Draco and Harry with the easy confidence of someone who had already detached himself from a former life and thrusted his hand out to Harry.

'I don't think we were ever properly introduced at school, I'm Theodore Nott.'

Harry blinked, startled out of his anger and Draco too, looked confused.

'I know who you are,' Harry said but shook hands anyway. Theo grinned.

'The Minister will see you now,' said the blond receptionist who had been looking at the scene with unhidden glee. Draco started, then nodded and followed the receptionist without looking back at any of them. Theo walked over to one of the chairs and sat back again.

'Well I'm waiting,' he announced. 'Emotional support and all that.' Pansy sighed, glanced at Harry and then sat next to Theo as well. She was going to wait, Draco was her friend and he needed her. She gave Harry a look that she hoped was questioning instead of pleading.

'There is room, Potter,' Theo said. Harry seemed undecided. His lips twitched as if he was about to say something then he seemed to think better of it and he walked over to Pansy and sat next to her. There was silence for a long time.

'You can talk in front of Theo, you know.' Pansy said when she had grown frustrated enough. She wanted to know what happened, wanted to know if their trip to Antwerp was still in the cards, she wanted all this to be over with. Waiting she could handle, but this felt an awful lot like living a life. A confusing life and she refused to do that. Yet.

Harry sighed. 'He said he won't hear anything until I give him…proof.'

'So give him proof,' Pansy said. Harry looked furious again.

'No.'

'And Dudley?' she asked.

Harry turned to her fully, looking lost for a minute as if he had forgotten about everything in life except for this new cause he had found.

'What about Dudley? He is expecting us after my exams, I spoke to him yesterday.'

'So we're going?' Pansy asked. She felt small and because she felt small she glowered at him.

'Of course we're going,' Harry said. 'You were right, this thing is going to take a lot longer than I thought.'

'Things usually do,' Theo said smiling. He sounded curious but Pansy knew him well enough to know he was never going to ask. Anything at all. She gave Harry a glance and when he shrugged she answered.

'Harry and I are going to Antwerp, his cousin lives there.'

Theo's eyes lit up. 'Nice, for how long? Will you be back in April?'

'What's in April?' Pansy asked.

'Me going to Japan,' Theo said. 'Snape left me recommendation letters and Mahoutokoro School of Magic has the best Potions program all around. I mean, I have money, why not spent it?'

'Plus it's in Japan,' Pansy grinned.

'Definite plus,' Theo agreed. 'Although Millie will be upset I will miss the opening of her shop.'

'I can handle Millicent,' Pansy said.

'Snape left you recommendation letters?' Harry asked, his eyes were big with surprise.

Theo nodded. 'I was always good with potions.'

'And always very modest about it,' Pansy said rolling her eyes. Harry's lips quirked up as if he was about to smile.

'And you are running away to Japan?' he asked.

'Exactly Potter, running and not ashamed.'

Pansy sat back and listened as a conversation u folded about the Japanese school and the pro's and cons of studying so far away. Sometimes she put in a remark but if truth be told studying didn't interest her anymore. She had trouble keeping a bored expression. Harry had slipped his arm around her while he talked and she leaned into him and Theo did not say anything, did not even look at her. The realization that she was stepping out into the world hand in hand with Harry Potter still pierced her like a needle. But here in this moment as the two men discovered their similarities and told each other of their futures she could see something more. She knew she was wanted, she had only to look into Harry's eyes to know she was, but this was something different. As she heard the two men make ridiculous plans to go out for ice cream she thought this might be acceptance. She leaned into Harry's shoulder. This was trust. And while she had no idea what to do with it the magnitude of what she saw unfolding before her lulled her into a sense of peace she didn't think she was ever going to reach again.