Title: Not the Same
Author: D (pleasefuckoff)
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine. :[ So don't rub it in.
Author's Note: Big update. Big WARNING: Action action, peoples. Please if you are not of consenting age, do not read.
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I dip in and kiss her again. I feel her arms wrap around my shoulders and I can't help but smile against her kiss. "We're in the middle of the street." She whispers, trying to pull away from me, but I don't let her. I don't care about anything in this world right now apart from Emily Fitch kissing my lips. I lean further in to shut her up with my mouth. She eventually complied. Thank. God.
At one point she pulls back again, "We're in public." She says again, trying a little harder to pull apart from me. I know she's normally not bothered by it enough to pull away so the only reason would be because of me.
"I don't care." I whisper back and continue to kiss her. I indulge myself a few more minutes before we break away from one another. My arms are still loosely wrapped around her waist and hers are still resting on my shoulders. We're both trying very hard to catch out breaths.
"Emily. Believe me. I wouldn't eve-" I'm trying to say ever in a million years, but I can't get the thought out because she kisses me chastely again, cutting me off.
"I know. If you had, Effy would have one or two more marks on her." Em says to me cheekily as we pull apart to start walking. I'm not sure where, but I'm just content that Emily's with me. I give her a funny look because I'm confused. I don't know what she's talking about. She gives me a look like a should, but when I don't react, she breaks out in a laugh and explains it to me.
"Honey, hate to tell you, but you're a biter. If you slept with Effy, she'd probably have a welt the size of my fist on the side of her neck and no amount of foundation can cover something like that up." I laugh at her reasoning as we walk silently (and happily) down the street. I think we're headed towards a bus to my house, but I don't open my mouth to ask. I enjoy our silence as we walk next to one another. Emily's looking straight ahead with a smile, a bit far off in her thoughts.
I take a moment to study her features, down her profile from cute slope of her nose to her lips before noticing a spot of foundation on her neck near the slope of her shoulder, the powder doing its best to conceal a dark but fading bruise just a bit bigger than a shot glass ring. Looking forward to where we're walking, I smile to myself privately at the memory.
Without looking at her, I reach out to casually take her hand. Emily's arms are swinging as she walks and she brushes past my hand at first as if thinking I had moved my hand into her personal space on accident. When she swings her arm back again, I take her hand with a little more confidence. She stumbles a bit when I hold onto it.
After catching her footing, she looks at me, then smiles down to the ground the same way I am. We walk like this the entire way to the bus stop before breaking apart. There are a few people at the stop.
Sitting silently at the stop, we don't make eye contact. I think if I look at her, I may jump her and I am being completely serious. Either that or spontaneously combust. Instead, I option to start a conversation. The only thing I can think of to talk about is what just happened. "I can't believe that really just happened. Never seen Freddy so pissed."
"Well, he did think that you slept with Effy." How many times do I have to say that I would never ever sleep with Effy? Ever. I let out a deep breath and roll my eyes. Yes, he thinks that. The dumb twat.
"I was in Effy's bed," I say, emphasizing the word bed because that was all I was doing, "comforting her, ironically, comforting her because of him." Only in my world. Only in my fucked up world.
Emily frowns and turns a bit to look at me, her brows scrunched up in that cute little way when she's thinking hard about something. "Why would you be comforting Effy about Freddy?" To this, I give her an incredulous look. Emily is a smart girl, possibly the smartest in class and she hasn't figured this all out yet?
"Because Freddy? Effy?" I try to gesticulate my meaning, flailing my arms about (I'm sure) like a moron. "I was comforting Effy. Freddy walked in. Drew his own conclusions. And bloody bit my head off for it." I hear a scowl from the other side of me and I turn to the baldheaded old man with a grotesque goatee.
"Excuse me. I was trying to have a conversation. If you have something to say, you can just fuck off because nobody cares." I huff, shaking my head as I turn back around to Emily. Some people just have no manners whatsoever. "I swear. I swear to whatever you want me to swear to. Nothing inappropriate happened between me and Effy. Absolutely nothing."
Emily looks me dead in the eye for a few moments before kicking her feet down at the concrete ground. "I believe you." She nods. I know she's said it more than once now, I just need to be sure. I've never been so concerned about what some thought of me before. Her voice is lower and I just barely catch it, dripping in sincerity, "I'll believe anything you say."
We sit like that some more, just waiting for the bus. I do my best not to clock the baldheaded man next to me in the teeth because he's still making those ugly scowls at me. Emily does her best to calm me by putting her hand on my thigh. I put my hand over hers and sigh. It works.
"So where are we going?" I ask, squinting a bit as I look from one end of the street to the other, wondering where the bus is. She shrugs in the corner of my eye.
"I dunno. I assumed you probably wanted to go home. Then I was going to have a walk." Emily (like me) likes to walk. It's something we share.
"You can come over." I tell her, but then I think I'm being too forward. "If you want," I amend, fiddling a string on the fabric of my clothes. "Or we can have a walk together." I propose alternately, but add on once more, "If you want."
She's trying to act as nonchalant as I am failing at. Nonchalance is not my forte. Anything short of loud defiant yelling is not my forte. I don't do well with explanations or apologies and I'm glad that Emily isn't the one to look for either. She's not the type. She's my type. Everything she is is my type. I hold onto her hand a little tighter, suddenly afraid she'll slip away from me.
Em squeezes my hand back reassuringly and nods. "Yeah, we can go to yours." She says with a smile. I smile back just as the bus rolls up in front of us. The bus ride is quick because I'm enjoying Emily's hand in mine and I made it a point to move as far away from the goatee man as I possibly can. Which is wonderful because he smelled like cheese. French cheese.
I can't stop smiling as I let her into my house. My mum's gone. I'm not sure where she's gone to, but it isn't like I have any clue regularly. I don't really care. We walk straight to my room and I'm nervous. I'm not sure what to expect. I seriously don't want her to think I'm suddenly okay with having sex with her because like I said, it's happened once, but that was the heat of the moment... with a lot of vodka and slightly drug-induced.
Not to say that I need drugs or alcohol to have sex with Emily, it's just, well there are inhibitions involved and a lot more thinking. She leans against my dresser, looking down at the floor once more. "Cook came onto me. That night." She confesses and I feel a flame a jealousy flare out. At the same time it feels like someone's ripped something vital out of my body. Like my stomach because I suddenly feel so very nauseus.
"I was upset with coming out and... I guess I was trying to go back in just a bit. I thought I saw you and Effy dancing together. I was drunk. And Katie came by and put a stop to it, but even if she hadn't, I want you to know I don't think I could've gone through with it." She looks up at me so she meets my gaze steadily. "I wouldn't do that to you. He-he wasn't you."
Something else flames up into my head, a sudden respect for Katie, not for saving Emily, but for being the only girl who hasn't done something with Cook. Outside of Pandora, obviously. Em continues to look at me and her head tilted down chewing on her lip. I take a few steps forward, closing the gap between us and bring my hands up to her face. I kiss her, languidly, lovingly, in the privacy of my room. I want her to kiss her with the things my lips refuse to say.
It only starts to get out of hand when her hands unconsciously land onto my hips and her thumbs brush against the bare skin right under my shirt. I push her hard so she's right flush against the dresser and lean into her, my arm looping behind her head to pull her deeper into me. God who would ever think that I'd do anything like this with anyone but Emily? I feel like the pit of my stomach is a volcano. I can feel the heat starting to radiate. It's driving me insane.
Emily's hands are still burning against my hipbones, not moving and it's beyond frustrating how much she's trying to do right by me. I reach down to tug at the hem of her shirt. She abruptly pulls away and looks into my eyes, trying to find meaning or direction in them. I don't think there are.
But the look in my eyes must be speaking volumes to her because she doesn't say anything, just raises her arms so I can pull off her shirt and toss it aside. I was too shy to really touch Emily anywhere that night in the forest, but now that I have a look at her (and in better lighting), I want my hands everywhere. I kiss her again before my nerves go completely into over drive. My hands are shaking as I bring them up from gripping her arms down to her bare sides, brushing up the fabric of her bra. She whimpers against my lips as the combination of my caress and my teeth lightly biting against her lips assaults her.
Her hands are slowly sliding up my back, bringing my shirt up with them. I comply and shiver as her hands slip against the side of my breasts. Her arms wrap around my neck after she's pulled the shirt off me and I can feel it drop onto the floor behind me as she kisses me again, her tongue darting out to trace my bottom lip. I groan and run my nails up her sides, bringing her close to me so our bare midsections touch. It's electrifying.
I'm breathing heavily in ways that my mother finds annoying but in ways that make her moan as I dare to look up in her eyes. She shuts them when my gaze reaches hers, unable to keep them open any longer, and takes a deep breath, tipping her head back as she does so. When her throat becomes exposed, I can't help but lean in and suck at her pulse point. She's right. I like to bite.
Emily moans even louder in my arms. And she likes it when I bite. Her hands reach down and push at my skirt until it's pooled at my feet before she shoves me back onto the bed. I look up, resting back on my elbows as she puts a knee between my legs on the bed. I want her.
My entire body is buzzing with want, but my brain is still trying to scream at me. 'What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?' I'm not listening. The buzzing is too loud as she leans over me and kisses me again. Emily. My Emily. I moan into her kiss. For a girl who's never had sex, she is supernaturally good. Better than any boy I've ever met. Better than my own fantasies.
I can feel her breath tickling my ear. It's not heavy, overbearing, masculine. It leaves me wanting more. "It's okay." She says simply, unclasping my bra. I whimper, my hands reaching at her and I'm not sure if my body's trying to stop her or egg her on at this point, my mind's melted into a haze. "It's okay." She repeats encouragingly and I feel her tongue trace the shell of my ear, trying to convince me. Oh god. I shudder in response, my hands gripping hard against her as I feel her slip off the straps of my bra.
Oh god oh god. Her hands drift to the waistband of my panties and my breathing starts to quicken even more. Emily glances up at me, concerned that I may hyperventilate. I really might. It's so intense. I can feel her fingertips dancing across the bottom of my stomach.
My brain is screaming again, telling me that I'm not ready. I don't want to listen. I feel myself dripping down my thigh. My heart is thudding. I've only felt this type of good once in my life, and I want it again. Reaching around, I unsnap Emily's bra. She looks up at me surprised, but then her pupils dilate. She looks like she's going to devour me as she slowly pulls off her bra.
I want her. My hand hooks around the back of her neck and I moan as I feel the skin of our breasts against one another when I take her in for a kiss. I feel the smooth skin of her breasts against mine and the feeling shoots straight through me. It's a feeling I will never forget. So good. "Naomi." Her husky voice whispers. Christ, I love how she says my name. I arch when I feel her fingers hot against the outside of my panties. She cups me and groans, hiding her head in the crook of my neck. She feels how wet I am. My entire body throbs to the pressure she builds.
Her lips suck lightly against my neck, down my collarbone, between the valley of my bare breast and down my ribcage making me inhale sharply. Her tongue traces a wet trail across my hips as her fingers dip my panties just a bit lower. No. No. My brain is winning as I sit up. I don't know if I can deal with what happens after. She's looking up at me with a piercing gaze, her lips hovering the inside of my thigh. I'm speechless. I can feel her breath on me. Light. Not overbearing. Feminine. It makes me want more despite everything. Yes. So much yes.
I submit and lift my hips as she pulls off my panties. My legs shut immediately after she's removed them. Conflicted, and my emotion swinging back to doubt, I don't think I'm ready. I don't think... Emily looks at me again, taking a step off the bed and pulling me until I'm sittting against the edge. She brings her hand up to my cheek, cupping it. Her lips cover mine, slowly, tenderly. Everything I need to push logic off the fucking cliff before she kneels down in front of me.
Fuck. I watch as her lips kiss the top of my knee, her eyes not leaving mine. Then a little higher on the top of my thigh and the other knee. She brings her lips higher up the inside of my thigh and my breath hitches. "Please." She mouths against the skin of my inner thigh. The feeling makes my insides clench. Her eyes are closed. "Let me." She whispers, her lips drifting even higher, but slowly afraid that I'll stop her. I'm not sure. I don't own my body anymore. She's making me feel so...
"I can't stop thinking about this." She confesses in an even harsher whisper before I feel her lips.
Jesus. Fucking. Christ.