Living on a Prayer

Both Dean and Hannah were in the doghouse, and they knew it.

Cas's anger was subtle, but it was still there. He took the car keys from Hannah, and Dean was once more banished to the backseat. He obviously didn't like the fact that the two of them had tried to think of a way to save him, and that bothered Dean. He had already figured out that the angel didn't really care if he died, but now it seemed that he almost wanted to.

That was too much like the other Cas for his liking.

Shortly after they got on the road, and it was in the middle of the afternoon by then, Cas got another call from Sam. Apparently Sam had managed to snatch up Demon Dean and was heading back to the Bunker to cure him. Cas sighed and agreed to meet him there with his entourage. Then he turned the wheel in the direction of their original destination.

Dean wanted to smack his head against the window. After all, they had basically wasted time when they could have gone there in the first place. Besides, Castiel was clearly in no state to go against any demons, Dean or not. He looked like crap and he probably wasn't feeling any better.

They were driving through the night, because Cas obviously wasn't going to stop again, when Hannah turned off the radio and asked the same question Dean had been thinking.

"How are you holding up?" She asked politely.

"Fine." The terse answer came, though he obviously was trying hard to make it sound like things were fine. The hunters in the backseat winced at how much he sounded like them.

Dean actually snorted. "You're a terrible liar."

Cas frowned and looked at him in the rearview mirror. "Why does everyone keep saying that?" He seemed to be asking himself.

Hannah gave Dean a warning look over her shoulder. "You say you're fine, but you don't look fine." She clearly didn't believe him.

Cas sighed. "It's what the humans do." He gave a pointed look at the backseat in the rearview mirror. "They say they're fine. And even if I – I don't look it." He glanced at her. "You say I look well, and that way we can avoid talking about something we can do nothing about."

Yes, that was certainly something he learned from the Winchesters.

Dean knew that he had probably seen it, and learned it, mostly from Dean himself.

Hannah chewed her lip a bit. "I'm sorry. I just can't see how Sam Winchester could ask you to drive all this way to help his brother, knowing your condition."

Cas glanced at her again, but quickly looked away.

"You did tell future me, right?" Sam leaned forward.

Silence.

And the guy asks why people say he's a terrible liar.

Actually, come to think of it, how the hell did he lie to them this whole year then? As Bobby had pointed out, he seemed to avoid lying outright, but still…

"He doesn't know." Hannah sounded incredulous. "About how badly you're hurt. He doesn't know your grace is fading, does he?"

Something twisted in Dean again. After all, if Cas was hiding this from his future self, then that was basically the same thing that their Cas had been doing with his deal with Crowley. That did not bode well.

"He knows some." Cas said, and that didn't really make it much better in Dean's book. "And he didn't have to ask. Sam is alone in this, he's attempting to change Dean from demon to human with the cure of sanctified blood, but, there's no guarantee that will work. It could potentially work better than the last time it was used, but the Mark complicates matters. If it doesn't, then Dean will be gone," his grip on the wheel tightened, "and the demon must be dealt with."

In other words, he would have to kill what was left of Dean.

This whole thing sucked all around.

Cas clearly did not want it to come to that. His knuckles were white where he clutched the wheel, and his face was pensive. Dean was almost touched by his reluctance to hurt him.

"I just – I worry about you." Hannah admitted, giving him a smile.

Castiel avoided her gaze, turning his eyes back to the road in front of them.

Dean looks between the two. It almost seems like Hannah has a crush on Cas, though that might not be the case considering the big sister vibe she gave off when she first arrived. Cas doesn't seem to return the crush though, which somehow makes Dean feel relieved. Still, Cas seems to be a bit lost about what to do about it.

For a long while, the drive was silent, and Dean found himself drifting off.

It was light out when Dean woke up. The car was stopped in the road, and Cas and Hannah were peering at a map. Looking over, Dean saw that Sam and Bobby were also waking up.

"Sorry, I missed another turn." Hannah was saying. "I have no idea where the main road is."

Cas sighed a bit as he sat on the hood a bit, looking around with his back turned to the other angel.

Hannah was now looking at the car with slight disgust. "These things are so… confining and primitive." She glanced up and frowned.

Dean followed her gaze. Cas looked even worse than before and, was he breathing a bit harder?

"It's getting worse, isn't it?" Cas glanced back at her a bit, before Hannah walked around the car to face him. "Castiel, it's time we stopped avoiding the obvious." She gestured, trying to appeal to him. "You and I both know how to fix this – both you and the situation."

Castiel was clearly fed up with the conversation. Then again, how many times had he said this in the last few days? Dean didn't know and he didn't care. "I will not slit some angel's throat and steal its Grace." Hannah opened her mouth to argue, but Cas quickly cut in. "And before you say it, we definitely are not going begging to Metatron."

Hannah gave a slight nod as if she had been expecting that. "What about helping your friend and sending the rogue angels back to Heaven?" Dean hoped this would work. After all, if appealing to Cas's sense of duty didn't work, then Dean didn't know what would. They had already tried the family card, and that didn't work. Cas avoided her look. "Your preference to die for your principles – it's very noble, but it is meaningless."

Cas stared at her. "Then you carry on." Unlike the other times, there was no anger in Cas for the suggestions. Dean wondered what that could possibly mean.

"I'm not enough." Hannah said, clearly slightly afraid at the prospect of doing it by herself. She also sounded slightly desperate to make Cas see reason.

Cas looked old for once. In all of the time Dean had known him, he had known that Cas was old, but the angel had never really looked it. He looked old and defeated and tired, and Dean hated it. "Sometimes, enough is whatever you have."

Hannah looked down and then as Cas started to move away, she took his arm. The two of them stared into each others' eyes, and Dean felt a bit uncomfortable.

"Remember when you asked what it was I meant about your and Cas's staredowns making me uncomfortable." Sam leaned over to Dean and whispered, making Dean jump. He had almost forgotten he was there.

"What?" Dean asked.

Sam nodded at Cas and Hannah. "It's kinda like that from the outside. Though," he continued, "you and Cas tend to be a lot more intense than this."

"Cas and I don't stare at each other that much." Dean said, confused.

"Yes, you do." Bobby supported Sam.

The sound of a cell phone interrupted all of them. Cas looked down and pulled it out of his pocket. He walked off a bit as he answered it.

Hannah sighed and refolded the map before returning to the passenger's seat. Dean found himself staring at her.

"What?" She asked, clearly annoyed.

"So do you have a crush on Cas or something?" Dean asked, lifting an eyebrow.

Hannah frowned. "I have no desire to crush him."

Dean fought the urge to facepalm. It was like talking to Cas way back in the beginning.

"That's not what he means." Sam's voice was tight, like he was trying to stop himself from bursting out laughing. "He means if you have romantic feelings for Cas."

Hannah's frown didn't leave her face. "I am an angel. I don't have such human feelings."

The brothers glanced at each other. "Uh, angels do have feelings, as much as you all seem to avoid admitting it." Dean finally said. She avoided his look.

"I admire Castiel." Hannah admitted. "He is an excellent commander and sticks to his convictions. I just," her lips thinned, "I wish he would have more regard for himself and take care."

"Yeah, seriously, what's up with that?" Dean asked. "Why does he keep putting this whole thing with me before himself? Doesn't he have an ounce of self-preservation?"

Hannah turned around to look at him. "I do not know." Her eyes seemed to be boring into his soul. "I suspect it is because it deals with you. I have told you that he has lost much because of you."

"Yeah, Yeah. He said he rebelled for me, that's old news." Dean said, ignoring the glares that Bobby and Sam were surely sending him. Besides, despite what Cas said, it's not like he rebelled just for him. It was for the world and stuff.

Hannah looked at him in surprise. "Castiel gave up an army for you." She said quietly. "He has chosen you over Heaven, so many times." She leaned in. "And I do not know why."

Dean leaned back, uncomfortable. Was this lack of personal space an angel thing? He didn't really like it when an angel besides Cas was doing it.

Cas opened up the door and slid into the driver's seat. "Hand the map to Sam, Hannah." He said, turning the key in the ignition. "He excels at navigation."

"What's wrong?" Dean asked as there was new urgency in Castiel's movements.

He ignored Dean's question in favor of driving away as per Sam's instructions. Finally, he said, "Sam thinks it's killing him."

There was no response as Cas put the pedal to the metal.

The car started to run out of gas a few miles away from where Cas said the Bunker was. Despite what Cas wanted, they had to stop.

The three humans were thankful for it as they scrambled towards the gas station's bathroom. None of them had felt like using a bottle.

It's funny how fast things can dissolve. Dean had heard the sound of Cas and Hannah talking about something as they went towards the bathroom, the angels getting out of the car slower than them. He didn't pay it any mind as he had other things to worry about. It was after he had answered the call of the wild that he heard the crash of glass and a thump.

He and Sam, who had managed to get to the bathroom before him due to his freakishly long legs, exchanged a glance before they pulled out the weapons they had on hand and walked towards the corner of the shop. Dean peered around the corner.

He fought back the urge to swear. Some chick was crouched over Cas punching him. Dean could already see blood and shards of glass embedded in his skin. With a glance at the shop, it looked like Cas had been kicked or punched through the front door, probably by this chick.

Meaning that this was an angel they were dealing with.

Still, it was like Cas wasn't even defending himself. For a moment, Dean wondered at this then it hit him. It wasn't that Cas wasn't defending himself, it was that he couldn't. Things were even worse than Dean had thought even with the piling evidence.

Dean moved to go help him, but Sam grabbed him and held him back. "We don't have angel blades or holy oil on us." Sam hissed in his ear. "We can't do anything."

Dean grimaced at his own uselessness, but Sam was right. He grit his teeth.

The angel seemed to be content with Cas's state and stalked back into the store where Hannah probably was. Dean made to go help him, but he stopped himself and hid as a figure materialized.

The figure was short and dressed in all black. Dean would recognize that balding head anywhere. "Crowley." He growled.

Crowley walked up to Cas and seemed to study the panting angel. Cas looked up at him, his eyes hazy, and he didn't seem to have enough energy to work up a glare.

"Hey, champ." Crowley smirked a bit. "Look at you," he mocked. "Talk about roadkill."

Crowley looked into the store and walked in himself.

Figuring they were now alone, Dean once more tried to get to Cas's side. Sam's hand on his arm stopped him.

"Think of the field day Crowley would make of this." Sam whispered as Bobby crept up next to them. "We can't let him see us."

"Cas is hurt." Dean said.

"And what exactly would we be able to do, boy?" Bobby asked.

Dean tried to respond, but he stopped as he saw Crowley walk out of the store. In one hand, he held a bloody angel blade, and in the other, he held a glowing bottle of something. It seemed familiar to Dean, and suddenly, he remembered the search for Anna's Grace and that dick Uriel having a vial filled with light.

"That's – " He watched in surprise as Crowley crouched down and lifted Castiel's head. He unstopped the bottle and tried to bring the bottle to Cas's lips.

Cas groaned, so he was still conscious. He turned his head away from the bottle and his hand came up to push Crowley's arm away.

It looked so weak that it made Dean want to cry.

"Don't be an idiot." Crowley growled, looking around as if checking to see who was watching. "Yes, it's hers, but she was killing your girlfriend. Your hands are clean."

Cas's eyes fluttered close, even though it was obvious that he was trying to stay awake.

"Much as it pains me to say this, you're useless to me dead." Crowley continued, and, wow, Dean did not like the sound of that.

Cas's hand fell and Crowley took the opportunity to tip the bottle further towards Castiel's lips.

A white, smokey light poured forth from the bottle and slipped into Cas's mouth. Crowley put the angel down and quickly stepped away as Cas consumed the Grace. A white light started from Cas's stomach and engulfed his body. When the light faded, there was no sign that Cas had been injured other than the blood on his clothes. Hannah stared, bloody and dumbstruck, from the doorway.

"You owe me." Crowley said matter-of-factly as Castiel glared up at him from where he sat on the ground.

Cas got to his feet. "Why did you help me?" Cas growled, suspicion in his gaze.

"Purely business." Crowley explained. "Since you're 5 miles away from the Winchesters' clubhouse, I can only surmise that you're headed there and that Dean has become a handful. Having him as a demon has caused me nothing but grief." Crowley pointed at Cas and ordered, "Fix the problem."

"You realize – worse comes to worst, that means killing him." It looked like that thought pained Cas.

Crowley gave a half shrug as he walked away. "I'm not sentimental." He walked a few more steps before he teleported away.

Hannah walked over to stand by Castiel's side and the two of the exchanged a glance.

The three hunters walked out from around the corner, staring at where Crowley had disappeared.

Castiel growled again. "Get in the car." He gestured for the three of them to get in.

"So you're okay now?" Dean asked, tentatively, as he paused before getting into the backseat. That was a good thing, right?

Cas gave him an exasperated look. "For now." He sat down and started the car. "But now I owe Crowley." His voice held a hint of discuss.

The hunters exchanged a glance. Sure, Cas was fine, until this new Grace ran out, but…

It might not be worth owing Crowley.

Dean hoped that it would be enough.

AN: Owing Crowley is never a good thing. Seriously, you don't want that. Personally, I'm wondering when Crowley's going to call that favor in. Sorry for not having the Winchesters interact with him. Having them interact would just make things that much more complicated for them and luckily Sam saw that. Also, with the title of this chapter, it's referring to two things. Cas himself is praying that he will make it to the Bunker in time and Dean (his Dean) will be alright. Then we are all praying that Cas won't end up dying again and that this thing with Crowley won't make Cas hate himself anymore than he already does. Also, I apologize for not having the chapter names at the top of the webpage not match the actual chapter title. I just caught that and I think I fixed it since it was just the last couple of chapters.