Chapter 10

He had no idea how long he had been sleeping, but when he opened his eyes it wasn't Molly's face that he saw. Instead he saw his brother, asleep, sitting on the chair Molly had used before. And like Molly his brother held his hand. Sherlock gazed at his brother, wondering why he was holding his hand. But he had to admit to himself that the idea of his brother keeping vigil by his side was strangely reassuring. As Sherlock tried to move his hand a little bit his brother woke up.

"You are awake." Mycroft stated.

"As are you." Sherlock replied with a smile, his voice still raspy.

Mycroft smiled. "You must be feeling better when you are already able to mock me."

"Slightly." Sherlock replied, breathing in deeply which triggered a bad coughing fit. He only just noticed the panic expression on his brothers face and how he wanted to press the alarm button to call a nurse. Sherlock just managed to stop him by placing his hand on his brother's arm. Mycroft hesitated, clearly not convinced that he shouldn't call for help, but he waited. Finally the coughing stopped, Sherlock was gasping for air, still keeping his hand on his brother's arm.

"It is okay." He whispered, trying to breath evenly.

"Are you sure?" Mycroft asked.

Sherlock just nodded. For a few minutes neither of them said a word.

"Why did you do it?" Sherlock asked.

"What?" Mycroft asked, but Sherlock just frowned.

"Oh, you mean, why I forced John and Lestrade to sit in your room for the past week? Molly told me you dismissed them." Mycroft replied. "I wanted them to see."

Sherlock frowned again, indicating that he wasn't satisfied with that explanation. Mycroft sighed and looked at him for a moment before he continued. "I thought Molly had explained it to you already."

"I want to hear it from you." Sherlock stated plainly.

"I wanted them to see what there unsuitable reaction to your return had caused." Mycroft explained and as he noticed that Sherlock wanted to object he hastily added "I wanted them to see that you suffered. I wanted them to understand what you've been through, for them, to keep them safe. I wanted them to regret what they said to you, how they had treated you."

Sherlock gazed at his brother trying to understand what he had just said. Recognizing that his brother waited for a sign of agreement or disagreement he just nodded.

There was another moment of silence.

"You shouldn't have done that." Sherlock finally said. Mycroft raised an eyebrow, clearly disagreeing.

"But thank you." Sherlock added. He wouldn't ever had that kind of idea, but he had to admitted that he liked it. Well, not as an retribution for John and Lestrade. He liked it, because it showed how much Mycroft cared, but not in the annoying way he usually did, but in a rather genuine way. When Sherlock had noticed Mycroft presence in that cell in Serbia he was confused why his brother risked infiltrating the fortress himself. He despised legwork. And then he was even more confused when Mycroft didn't immediately stepped in but rather watched when one of his captors beat him up even more, breaking some more ribs. Back in England Mycroft explained that he couldn't give himself away at that moment without risking the whole operation, stating that they wouldn't have been able to escape safely when he would have stepped in too early.

And now, now Mycroft was by his side, holding his hand. He had been by his side all the time.

Both men stayed silent and Sherlock slowly drifted away again.

Over the next couple of days Sherlock slowly got better, he still was a little feverish, he still had severe coughing fits and he still needed high doses of painkillers and antibiotics. But he felt better. And he was amazed at the persistence of his regular visitors to stay by his side – Molly, Mrs. Hudson and Mycroft. Molly tried to entertain him with some stories of bizarre case from the morgue. Mrs. Hudson brought in an endless stream of home-baked scones, biscuits and cakes, very much to the delight of Mycroft who even endured Sherlock's mocking without snapping back.

One day Mycroft brought Sherlock his computer and his phone. He had been asking for them a couple of times but everybody agreed that he was too weak and should focus on resting and gaining his strength. So when Mycroft finally handed them to Sherlock he couldn't hide a pleased smile. He turned on his phone, just to find dozens of messages both from John and Lestrade, pleading him to let them visit him, wanting to talk to him. Lestrade offered him some cold cases against the hospital boredom. Sherlock frowned.

"They want to get in touch with you. They contacted us as well, Molly, Mrs. Hudson and at the beginning me as well." Mycroft stated. "We told them that you would contact them if you wanted them to visit you." He observed Sherlock who still stared at the messages. "We thought it was better to keep that" Mycroft hesitated for a second. " that problem from you for a while, until you got better. And since you haven't asked and didn't even mention them we thought that would be okay."

Sherlock heard the unusual apologetic tone in his brother's voice. He looked up from his phone to meet his brother's eyes.

"It is okay. I don't know what to do yet anyway" And that was true. He had pushed every thought about John and Lestrade away the last few days. He also pushed away every thought about what to do when he was allowed to leave the hospital. And with either his visitors constantly around or doctors and nurses fussing about him it was easy to push those thoughts away even though he was quite aware that he had to think about all that one day. When he was in this hospital for the first time, right after he was rescued from that Serbian cell he was so sure that he could return to the life he had before Moriarty forced him into this mess. He was so sure that he would work as a consulting detective again, that John would be his friend and would still want to accompany him to crime scenes. Even after Mycroft had told him that John was dating someone called Mary and that it was a serious thing, even then, Sherlock was still sure that he could reinstall is former life. But now, after everything that had happened, he wasn't even sure if he wanted that anymore, even if John and Lestrade would now want him back.

Mycroft obviously sensed Sherlock's train of thoughts.

"You don't have to talk to them." He said carefully.

"I know." Sherlock answered. "I will have to think about it."

"I will leave you to do that." And with that Mycroft left his room. Sherlock turned his attention back to the phone, flipping through every message John and Lestrade had sent him. Some of them were quite pleading. Most of them contained some kind of apology. If they just had know. Yes, that would have obviously changed everything. If they had known that he had been injured they would have behaved differently. That thought shocked and appalled Sherlock. At the same time he came to the realization that he would have to talk to them and that postponing it wouldn't make it easier. He would start with John.

"You can visit me tomorrow afternoon – SH" Sherlock hesitated a moment but pushed the send button on his phone. Tomorrow he would listen to what John had to tell him and then he would make a decision.

He send another message to Molly who was scheduled to visit him tomorrow afternoon. He needed time alone with John, but he asked her to visit him in the evening. He had to smile as he realized that he not only got used to her presence, but that he would miss her if he wouldn't see her every day.