Author's Note: Hey-o there Reclaimers! I am sorry that I haven't uploaded in over two weeks. Life has gotten super crazy! I promise I have read all your comments. Thanks for the support! I think I will take the time to comment on them all on next chapter. Also, I don't know if you've checked the comments, but my younger sister has started to comment under the code name of BabyReclaimer. She is also a Halo fan, just one of those rare breeds of people who manage to NOT let it consume every waking moment of your thoughts. So, if you could welcome her in the comments. I'm sure she'd get a kick out of it. As an apology for taking so long to update. I wanted to share with you guys my playlist for songs I use to get me in the right mood for halo stories or Johntana stories. So, anyone who rights stories with Cortana in it, this is perfect for you
Human-Christina Perri (This is really my theme song for The Glass Cage. I seriously listen to it almost every time I write it. If you listen to it, I think you'll see it instantly)
Stiches-Shawn Mendez (This one is useful for John's mentality. I don't know, it's just catchy and it kinda matches.)
Stand by you-Rachel Platten (This is really Blue Team's theme song. So anytime I write them, on goes the song.
Frozen Sleep-Malukah (This song was actually written about Cortana. So if you listen to it...AHHH prepare for the feel wave.)
Waka Waka this time for Africa-Shakira (I know this one is actually about soccer, but the first few lines ..."You're a good soldier, choosing your battles, pick yourself up and dust yourself off and back in the saddle. You're on the front lines, everyones watching...etc." are really perfect. This song just reminds me of the Spartans attitude I don't know why.)
Anyway, if I remember more, I will write them down in a later chapter. Also, if you have a favorite song that puts you in the Halo or Johntana mood. Write it in the comments. I'd love to hear them.
Now, the little...Flashback that John has in this chapter is actually taken from some deleted dialogue from Halo 4...I mean come on, it was just too poignant not to use.
(The characters and locations from this work are the intellectual property of 343i. Clearly, otherwise this wouldn't be on a fanfiction site now would it?)
Master Chief...he didn't deserve that title. Maybe he did once. Maybe there had been a time when he was the perfect leader the spartans needed. If he was ever that kind of soldier he couldn't remember. If he was being honest with himself, he felt as if his life began with Reach was destroyed. His greatest failure define him, before Reach fell he was the Master Chief, pure and , he believed he definitely didn't deserve the title. What had he done since New Phoenix? Act recklessly, try to die in combat. He had thought that maybe if he could die like Sam, his...sins would be wiped away, but when he had discovered Cortana was alive...for the first time...he had had a reason to live. He wasn't ready to die. John remembered back to a conversation he and Cortana had had when approaching the composer. She had been worried about her impending fatality and was confessing to him her fear of death. The memory played vividly in John's mind as he meditated. He could see the forerunner facility, throbbing with alien energy around him. Before him the composer glowed brilliantly. He could feel himself running, as fast as his weary body could carry him from platform to platform as he neared the Composer.
"And if we can't...John...I don't know that I'm ready." Cortana shakily admitted, her voice fading in and out with static
John remembered his inner calm at that moment. "Nobody ever is, Cortana, but we all reach the end...someday."
"No John...It's just that...I'm not ready...to lose y-" Cortana was interrupted and withdrew timidly into John's mind as the Composer suddenly pulsed brilliantly, shaking the platform on which the Master Chief ran. John remembered looking up at the device in alarm then double timing it across the open space.
"Cortana! Something's happening!" John shouted to make sure Cortana was alert and aware of the impending danger.
There was no need. She was already thinking and running calculations.
"The composer, it's preparing to fire!"
"NO!" John remembered spraying down a pair of crawlers as he leapt over obstacles in his path. The blind rage in his mind switching his attacks to pure instinct.
"If we can just reach the composer's control's maybe I can.."
"No time for maybe's, Cortana. It needs to be stopped... at any cost." John's hand instinctively brushed the nuke magnetically affixed to his back.
His visor blurred purple and blue as Cortana panicked.
"John, you can't mean..." Cortana whispered.
"I think we both knew this was a one way trip."
John sighed and let the memory fade away. He realized now why he had been so at peace then. Cortana was going to die, yes. But so was he. He would have done everything in his power to save her, and then they would both end as they had begun their partnership. Together. That was what was different. He didn't feel an urge to fall in battle as he had after the events at New Phoenix because he had something to live for, but he had not felt this fear to die then like he did now because he was going to die with his reason to live.
He was no longer the Master Chief, no longer the trusted leader. He had risked the lives of his team mates, of the UNSC, of humanity. Yes, his teammates refused to let him go alone, yes the UNSC had lied to him and hidden Cortana's survival, but he had owed it to the greater good to belay his feelings. To focus on his given mission and accept the chain of command. For the greater good.
You do know that was Cortana's mentality right? "For the greater good," it was only her emotions which caused her to delay her plans and bring you here. You gave the UNSC time to prepare. Whether they were aware of it or not.
John's eyes snapped open from meditation at the surprising sound of the silky smooth male voice. For the last...well, John wasn't sure how much time had past. But for a very long time there had been a...dark and malevolent presence in his mind. Whispering evil half-truths into his ear. It made him for sick and angry, like he could tear at his skin just to relieve the pain. Looking into the abyss that presence presented John realized the origin of all human suffering. Pain, loss, fear, anger, hatred, self-loathing, jealousy, greed, gluttony, this and more was open to him, and the presence had whispered every justification of why John should give into those feelings. In the end, it was the thought of Blue Team, trapped in the cryptum as well, that had given him the strength to stay strong. John felt a tinge of bitterness mixed with humor as he realized that they had come to be the support he used to find in Cortana. Eventually the dark presence had retreated, leaving John alone with his thoughts again. In order to escape his dangerous thoughts John had utilized his training of mediation, tricks Spartans learned to withstand torture. He had been alone in his contemplation for what felt like three hours. This was a new presence, and John was not going to trust it lightly.
"who are you?"
John, I cannot reveal myself to you. Only know that I am a friend.
John slowly raised himself up from his kneeling position and stood upright. A tightness in his chest reminded him that he desperately wanted to hope. John fought back the feeling and cryptically focused on the voice.
"Why not?"
Oh, John. Can the head on a quarter show itself to the eagle? Just know that we are bound. I cannot show myself fully to you for reasons which are metaphysically impossible and quite frankly unimportant to explain. The malevolent presence in your mind, the one you have been fighting. I have come to warn you about him. He is trying to corrupt you. You must trust me, Cortana she's not who you think she is. There is an...NO!
The voice cried out in pain and the calm presence withdrew. Leaving John alone again.
"Hello?" John felt his hand instinctively touch the back of his head, where the neural link was. It was a nervous tick he had developed in high stress situations. John quickly dropped his hand down again.
"Hello!?" John shouted into the white mist around him.
The oppressive silence had left him alone again. Alone with his thoughts. What had happened to that...thing...and what was it?
A sudden rumbling caught John off guard as the dark presence returned once again.
Hello, Master Chief. How could you be so foolish as to hope that there was someone out there fighting for you? Cortana has abandoned you. Your friends have abandoned you. You are weak, and you are alone. Why do you cling to hope?
"Because I have faith."
"In what? Everyone has betrayed you. Just submit, join your mind with mine. Together we will find peace.
The presence pressed in on John's mind again, greedily, anxiously and causing John searing agony. The white mist around him slowly began to fade into gray. John could feel the blood rush out of his head, causing him to stumble dizzily.
Cortana betrayed you. Kill her. Kill her Kill her. When she comes near you, kill her. If you don't you're no leader. Kill her, KILL HER KILL HER!
John grabbed his head and shouted in agony as the voices got louder and louder. That Abyss of emotion was yawning before him, and right now he was seeing no choice but to fall in.
Cortana lay back, her hair sticking uncomfortably to the gel layer in the crypod, and wondered what it would be like when she finally met John face to face. Bornstellar had made it sound as if, if all went well, they would be reunited in some manner. But how? In his mind? In the Cryptum? The thought made her feel strangely vulnerable, she had never been more thankful for the simple dress she was wearing.
I don't even know what I look like. Do I look like I used to, or do I look like her now...
She squinted at the glass inside of the cryotube but it was too foggy to give off a reflection.
What if I do look like Altana?
The thought made her stomach flip flop guiltily as she heard John's accusing voice say "You've changed." Hopefully he wouldn't mind TOO MUCH. She sighed and inhaled deeply, letting the metallic tinged air fill her lungs and belly.
"John. Honestly, I just hope you're not in one of your closeminded and stubborn moods. Because, it's gonna be hard to explain otherwise. I mean, what DO I say? Hello, Chief. No, I didn't kill millions of people and imprison you in the Cryptum. That was another Cortana?" Cortana laughed slightly and closed her eyes.
"I know what you would say if you were here with me. You would just tell me to "tell the simple truth, it suffices." with that solemn voice of yours. I miss it, frankly."
The thought of his voice filled Cortana with a vast sense of emptiness, of incompleteness. She wondered, if she ever made it out of this and John too, and if he couldn't forgive her, what would she do?
Almost as if in answer to her thought, the cryodoor swung open. A bright light beckoned from without. It seemed to be telling her to, "find out for yourself."
As soon as Cortana climbed out of the cryopod, it's door swung shut and it slowly faded into nothingness. Leaving her alone, standing in the midst of a fenced courtyard. Titanium alloy walls lined with electric razor wire on top surrounded a large compound. At the center of which, a large gray building stood, only two stories high, but flying the flag of the UNSC. It's diminutive size belied the larger and impenetrable complex beneath, courtesy of ONI. Like most training facilities it's appearance was innocuous, a UNSC outpost, nothing more. In the far left corner of the courtyard, there was a wide swath of grass with a few decorative trees paralell to the outer wall. Cortana looked with curiosity at a small knot of people standing beneath the swaying branches of one of the trees.
Spartans. Nothing could hide that practiced formation and statue like stillness. Cortana gazed around curiously but noticed that no one else seemed to be out and about on the compound, other than the tower look outs who occasionally glanced towards the Sparans curiously. Cortana jogged over to them quickly.
There were at least twenty of them there, they stood, side by side, shoulders touching gazing at a black obelisk beneath one of the trees. Cortana tried to squeeze between them, but they were all too closely knotted together, she tried to peer over their shoulders but that wasn't going to happen. Cortana huffed and stood outside of the line until one Spartan broke the line and walked away from the others. It was John! A horrible expression of loss and guilt was etched on his face, Cortana wanted to walk after him but she HAD to see what had caused the reaction. Slipping into his place, between Linda and Kely, Cortana saw the black obelisk. It was simple enough, UNSC insignia and a few other words. On the face of the obelisk were names...the names of Spartans, all of whom had died in combat and beside each name was written the three simple letters M.I.A. There, freshly scratched into the stone, was Samuel. Every Spartan solemnly looked at the stone in silence. This was the fate that awaited every Spartan, limbo. An unrecognized death by the world, but remembered in the hearts of all their brothers and sisters.
Cortana felt horribly grieved. Samuel, John's first friend of the Spartans, was dead. John had described him as the strongest Spartan with the strongest heart. Never grudging anyone, always forgiving. The first of the Spartans to die in combat. It made her feel ill, these were still, practically children. Grieving the loss of a brother without the affection or understanding of an adult to comfort them.
Then they began to each come up one by one and swipe a Spartan smile against Sam's name. This wasn't practice or ceremony. They hadn't trained for this. It was natural. It was a Spartan's goodbye. The only ones not to go up were the members of Blue Team. Once all the other Spartans had paid their respects to Sam, Blue Team approached the monument, John stood apart, watching with hooded eyes. Fred went first and swiped a Spartan smile like the others, then he knelt on one knee and rested his forehead against the stone with a sigh. Cortana felt tears welling into her eyes. No! This shouldn't be goodbye for them!
Eventually Fred took a shaky breath in and rose to his full height, he stepped aside and stayed standing by the stone. Next came Kelly who stiffly approached the obelisk. For a moment she stood there as if her brain couldn't register and wouldn't register what she was supposed to do. She stood there, swaying in front of it until Linda approached beside her and took her hand. The two knelt side by side in front of the Obelisk and swiped Sam's name affectionately. Kelly, had always been the most emotional of Blue Team and of most of the Spartans. So it was no surprise to the others when hot tears rolled down her face and quiet sobs shook her. Linda, ever calm, kept hold of Kelly's hand and started to hum. At first it was so muted that Cortana couldn't hear, but slowly she gained volume. It was a simple tune, a dark tune, the kind you might hear sung across a lonely mountain top on in an old church. Linda closed her eyes and began to sing, not words but sounds, sounds which told a deeper story than any language ever could. It was haunting and simple and extremely alien. John was pulled out of his reverie by the sounds, he slowly approached behind Linda and Kelly. Placing a hand on their shoulders John starting humming along with Linda.
Cortana felt the hair on her arms stand up as all the Spartans slowly began to pick up the song and sing it.
It's Gregorian. They're singing Gregorian chant, or something very like it.
Cortana felt like her heart was swelling with the beautiful song.
Soon the song was so loud it filled the open courtyard. It was a song of mourning and defiance and grief and acceptance. It told of great travels and wide adventures and sudden endings.
Fred and John joined their two sisters in front of the Obelisk. All four of them sang. John sang deeply and steadily, Linda sang high and pure, Kelly sang quietly and richly and Fred sang strong and loud. Finally the four quieted and all the Spartans with them.
As they stopped singing, the world slowed down, just like in the Gym. A foggy gray version of the world began to play around Cortana. A young Kelly darted past Cortana and the older Spartans, chasing after a dog. A few seconds behind her, Sam, Fred, Linda and John, Fhajad, Randall and a few others chased after her. They were laughing, giggling. The poor dog was exhausted and covered in sweat but the children didn't seem to realize it's fright. Cortana watched fascinated as they ran in circles after the animal. John called out to Randall.
"How did it get here?"
"I don't know, maybe it's one of the officer's dogs."
Sam suddenly stopped running and cocked his head curiously. As if a sudden idea had struck him rather forcefully on the head.
"Guys, stop." Sam called out, but the young Spartans didn't hear him.
Sam sat down upon the grass and called out to the dog,
"Come here boy! Come on!" The dog eyed him wearily but after glancing back at the horde of children chasing him he dove quickly into the safety of Sam's outstretched arms.
The other Spartans pulled up short as they gazed in wide eyed amazement at Sam.
"How did you do it?" Kelly asked breathlessly.
Cortana approached the wispy apparitions intrigued. Clearly, John was thinking of this memory at the funeral.
Sam shrugged casually and stroked the small caramel brown head.
"He just was scared, is all. We had a dog at...my house." The Spartans exchanged glances, clearly they didn't talk about their past lives often. Soon the other Spartan kids were sitting on the grass and taking turns petting the dog. After he was done meeting all the children the dog wandered wearily back into Sam's lap.
"He looks tired!" Fred said, in a high soft voice.
"I have an idea." Sam began to sing a song. THE SONG from the funeral. He quietly rubbed the dogs ears as he sang the tune. The quiet melody instantly put the dog to sleep and fasincated the other children.
"Where did you learn that?" Linda whispered in amazement.
Sam frowned slightly as he recalled the memory.
"It was a song we used to sing at church...it had words. I don't remember them, only the chants."
"Will you teach us?" Randall asked timidly, in his mild British accent.
"Sure," Sam started to teach the other children how to sing the song. As he did, the world around Cortana suddenly began to regain life and color. The ghostly figures of the young Spartans blew away on a gust of wind. Suddenly, she was standing back in the funeral. Cortana didn't know how to feel at first. At first she felt strangely numb at the sheer horror of what she had seen. But then it hit her. This song, this song of farewell was Sam's song but it was also all of their song, it was the half remembered truth of their past life, stating bravely the state of their current life and aware that it could end, unrecognized by the world at any time.
Cortana knelt down and rested her hands in her hair, vainly trying to stop her bitter tears. It was no use, they rolled down her face and hand anyway.
Slowly the other Spartans trickled away back to the compound, Blue Team stood alone by the Obelisk.
Linda took a deep breath and spoke first. "I was remembering that time Sam taught us the song."
"Me too." John admitted.
Kelly smiled bitterly through her red rimmed eyes. "You remember what he named the dog?"
"Chief Owl, right?"
"Yeah." John said with a sigh. "yes he did."
Fred touched the obelisk fondly. "Goodbye Brother..." He paused, his long pale fingers grazing the stone as if to say more but he couldn't. So Fred, John, Kelly, and Linda walked side by side back to the compound, leaving Cortana in front of the stone, all alone.
Cortana weeped unabashedly. For herself, for Sam, for John, for all the other Spartans, abandoned and forgotten. The tears felt freeing and yet at the same time they bound her. They bound her to a duty that she must do everything in her power to stop this ever from happening again. But to do this she would have to stop Altana. And she would.
The grief finally lessend and in it's place, Cortana found a strength and a courage she hadn't before. Getting up from the ground, Cortana was resolved.
"Warden or Gravemind. Whoever is REALLY pulling the strings here. You will pay for what you are making John suffer now. For what you are making them ALL suffer."
This time, as the Cryopod arrived, Cortana stoically went inside. She would find John, even if it destroyed her. She would find him.
Post Author's note:
Well, there you have it guys. The song the spartans were singing is the Halo theme song. The Halo theme is officially Sam's song in my head now. Great, now I will cry every time I hear the song. I hope you liked this chapter. It may be a bit sloppy and have bad grammar but I am literally posting it and will re-edit it tomorrow. You all deserve a new chapter and I am exhausted. I hope you enjoy!
Goodbye Reclaimers! Long Live Halo!
LadyReclaimer