Author's Note:
In this chapter, it is all Ana's POV. As the story goes, I realized I need not just Christian's POV so I hope it is okay with you guys. As we go along expect other's POV in my story. :) I used Dion Roy's The Daughter song for this chapter. Please review. :)
I push the end button of my phone, eager to seek some answers with questions running in my head. How could he? I even opened that topic few days ago but he said nothing. What happened about talking things out? I thought we agreed to talk to each other first. Oh Ana, don't tell me that you told Christian everything. We both know there's something else that you choose to keep to yourself. I immediately snapped on the voice in my head and focus on the matter on hand. I have no time to deal with things that happened a long time ago.
I can feel the heat on my cheek. I think it is obvious how angry I am now. I don't want him keeping things from me especially if it has something to do with me, my work or anything that I am doing for myself. I can see that there's still light in his study and I don't think twice to enter it without knocking. I am too upset and I just need answers now. I see Christian about to leave his seat but he returned in his chair again when he saw the look on my face. Well Grey, I hope you get the message and know that I am really upset.
"Christian, is there something going on that you need me to know?"
I have to get the question out of mind so I gave him my first shot.
"Baby, can you please take a seat first? I don't know why you are acting like that. You were okay a few minutes ago. And what are you talking about, something that you need to know?"
I am not backing out, stop playing with me Christian. I feel so strong about this conversation so I blurt out.
"Oh come on Christian! You're a smart man and there's no need for me to tell you what it is. You know what you did not tell me."
"You know everything Ana. Just say what it is that is making you upset now."
"Really? I know everything? So why is it I have no idea about GEH buying SIP?"
I can't help it. I have no time to play games with him so I said what the issue here is. I never want him to interfere with my work. I want my job and I don't want others to think that I got it because my boyfriend is actually the owner of the company. Thinking about it makes me want to explode. If he has issues with himself, I also had mine.
"So someone called you up today and informed you about it then. I don't know how the news spread that fast but I had no plans of not telling you, Baby. The deal just got closed yesterday."
"I don't care when the deal was closed. My point is, you did not tell me that you were going to buy it. Why SIP, Christian? Because I'm there and you need to control me while I'm at work?"
"Oh, baby please don't think like that. It's not about the need of controlling you, but it is a need for me to make you safe. You know my issues and I am hoping that you understand that part."
"But I don't want you to be connected with my work. I don't want others to think that I have a job because of you. I want to do it on my own… to be in a place because of my hardwork."
"I do understand your point Ana. And believe me Baby, I have nothing to do with you being hired at SIP. I just thought of buying it because I want to explore the publishing industry and I want you to be safe. It will give me peace of mind and at the same time, I'm expanding my company."
"But why didn't you tell me earlier? It would be better to know it from you rather than having someone call me to inform me about it."
"I did plan to tell you today. I am just sorting out the documents here. But I guess I'm a little too late as you already knew it before I could even tell you."
Ana, relax. So that's it. He never planned to keep it from you. I don't know how to react now after that confrontation. What I know is, I need time to myself. I might say horrible things to him if I stay here. I need to calm myself. I just hope Ray is here. He's the only one who can make me calm in a second. I know what to do now, wherever is Ray right now, I will certainly go there.
I told Christian that I need time, and in the end, he gave me what I needed right now. I made it a point for him to understand that I am not running, that I will be back. I really need to have myself back, and for me to do that I need to be somewhere and think things over. I need to convince myself that the thing I am always scared about will not ruin anything I want to start with Christian. I just need to sort myself out and I really hope he can understand that.
He is there sitting on the edge of the bed while watching me packing some set of clothes to bring with me. It breaks my heart seeing him that way but I don't want to give him the broken me. He deserves the best and I am not my best right now. I am struggling to fight my past that hurts and scares me everytime I feel like I am losing myself, my independent self. In time, when I have the courage, I will tell him why I need time and to be away even for a single day.
Christian chose to stay in the room. I know it hurts him. Taylor is now waiting for me. I want him to drive me to Ray so Christian will be at peace to know that I am safe. I feel the urge to cry but I hold my tears at bay and decided to send him a message instead.
To: Christian Grey
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: I love you!
Dear Christian,
I know you are still in there and not wanting to get out of the room. Please don't feel that way, I will be coming home tomorrow, that's a promise. I love you Christian, please don't doubt that.
Only Yours,
Anastasia Steele
Once I am inside the car, I called Ray to know where he is at the moment. I know that he is just an hour away because he told me the other day that he wants to see and congratulate me about getting a job. Oh well, its because of my job, why I am like this now. An early father-and-daughter get together is now in place. We are now on our way to the hotel where Ray is. Once we arrived, Taylor opened the door for me and even asked to walk me inside the hotel lobby. I never argue because I know, once he get home, Christian will ask him about everything until I get somewhere safe.
Ray is waiting for me in the hotel lobby. He shakes Taylor's hand as a sign of thank you and gets my things from me. I nod to Taylor and tell him to make sure Christian is fine while I'm away. Ray ushered me to the elevator and once we came in his room, he gave me a very tight hug. I can feel how much he missed me and I am feeling the same way to him. I loved being with Ray. He is my father and always be my father. I started to shake and I can't help myself but to burst into tears.
Ray let me cry while I am still in his arms rocking me a little while his hands is soothing me in my back. He doesn't ask me right away what's wrong. He just holds me in his arms and in my surprised he started singing our song.
Watch where you walk and where you stand
Lead yourself with an open hand
Believe that you're worthy of more
Live like you're meant to be adored
I tell you this
If I stumble if I fall
If I'm not there
To answer your call
Remember that
My love would move the stars above
Daughter, remember who you are
Know that you're more than beautiful
And need no one's arms to feel secure
So scream at the top of your lungs
Or whisper the words if you want
I tell you this
If I stumble if I fall
If I'm not there
To answer your call
Remember that
My love would move the stars above
Daughter, remember who you are...
The comfort and love that Ray never fails to give me is making me love him even more. I feel so blessed having him around me when I need him most. After the song, he pulled me away just enough to see my face. I know I looked like a little girl right now in front of Ray but I don't mind. In my heart, I will be always his little girl and I know he always see me like one. I am not ashamed of how childish I may look like but this is me when I'm with Ray. His thumbs started to dry away the tears in my face and I smile at him at return. He walked with me and let me sit in the couch while he is getting a glass of water for me drink. He came back holding a glass of water that I gladly accepted. He sits beside me and I know that in the way he looks at me, he wants me to start speaking what's in my mind.
"Daddy, I'm sorry. I know I looked like a mess right now but I just need to see you. I feel upset and you're the only one who can make me see things in a different way. I am torn between me, being an independent one and me, being in love with a man."He started to shift on the couch and I know he is thinking.
"Don't be sorry Annie. I am happy to see you today though I am not expecting to see you so upset. What happen Annie? Did you and Christian have a fight?"
I take a deep breath and started telling Ray about Christian buying the SIP and what I feel about it. I know, he understands where I am coming from in reacting that way. Ray saw how hard it is for me to put myself together after my Mom married her husband number 3. And being independent helps me to make myself in my toes again.
"Okay Annie, I understand your need of being independent but I also understand why Christian did that. Besides, he already told you that he was going to tell you today but you got to him before he even got the chance to tell you. Look Annie, Christian has no intention of hurting your feelings. He is a businessman and he knows the pros and cons of every decision he is making. He bought SIP to expand his business and at the same time, it is to assure him that you are safe while you are away from him, let's say when you both are working. It's like hitting two birds with one stone."
"But Daddy, how about what other people will think? I can't.."
"Anastasia Steele, listen. I did not raise you to doubt yourself. You know what you are capable of. Whoever owns the company you are working with, as long as you show people that you worked hard to be in the place you are now, I think there's nothing to worry about. Remember what I told you before? You don't exist to please others; you just need to please yourself. And that means, you should not be affected of what other people might think of you. You just need to do what you loved. Just be yourself, be who you are. That's what I witnessed years ago when you are trying to be so independent. You even left our house to live with Kate while studying at WSU and taking part-time jobs to support your studies."
He moved to sit closer to me, put his arms around my shoulder and guiding my head to rest on his shoulder.
" I know how much Christian loves you Annie. I can see on how he looks at you. And I know that he is doing that not to take away your credibility on your chosen career but that is the way he sees fit to make you safe. Please understand his side as well. Did you tell him about what happened years ago, that's why you acted that way?"
"No.."
"Well Annie, you should. Sometimes it is hard for us men to understand how women think. You should tell him why and I'm sure he will understand where you are coming from. Can you do that little girl?"
I smile at the way he said 'little girl'. With Ray, I am always his little girl. I look at him and smile.
"Do I still look like a little girl Daddy?"
"Yes you are, a few minutes ago I had my little girl in my arms trying to soothe her from crying."
"I like to be your little girl daddy. That wont change.."
"I know Annie, you are my little girl and you'll always be."
He kisses the top of my head and whispers… "I love you Annie."
"I love you too Daddy, and thank you..."
Author's Note:
Hi! :) I told some reviewers that they will know the reason why Ana reacted that way in Chapter 10. But while writing this chapter, I realized that I want to focus with the father-and-daughter scenes first. And for that I am sorry, I decided to include some flashback scenes once Ana and Christian have a talk after giving her the time she needed. I hope you will still like this chapter and I will be waiting for your reviews. :) Thank you!