Ten

Wake up, take a breath, and remember why you're even breathing

MY EYES WIDENED.

I hadn't expected any news on Victor so soon, if ever. Lissa was understandably terrified out of her mind, but she managed to take a breath and report to me, "He's disappeared. The guardians and psi hounds haven't found one single trace of him. The only thing they got was this." Lissa held out her hand and revealed a perfectly smooth, yet torn out piece of notebook paper to me. Gingerly, but curiously, I took it from her, unfolded, and read it. It was short and precise.

Rosemarie,

Well, we did have a deal, my dear. My wonderful brother is currently dwelling in Brooklyn, New York. He's not well, as I assume you know, so he is living with one of our childhood friends that can look after him. Her name is Michelle Paval. She has a townhouse in the city that can't be too hard to locate. I'm afraid that's all the information I can give you. But I do thank you kindly, Rose, for releasing me. It was a wise decision for the Moroi and dhampir society. Soon, you all will realize this. Unfortunately, you will regret your decision on not joining in on my plan with Vasilisa. What a shame. It would have been such a great pleasure to work together.

Until next time,

Victor

"What does it say?" Lissa asked as soon as I folded the paper again, slipping it into my jeans pocket, just in case it might be necessary again. I couldn't bring myself to answer her yet. Brooklyn, New York. Well, it wasn't Siberia, but it still wasn't right next door, either. I held back a sigh. I had my work cut out for me. How I was going to sneak the Dragomir princess off on another mission was beyond me, but I would come up with something, as I always did. For now, I turned my attention back to Lissa, who was waiting with baited breath.

I couldn't tell her about the threat he snuck in, of course, despite my promise to not lie to Lissa ever again, after all my secrets had blow up in my face. I did tell her something though. "It gives Robert's location, sort of." Naturally the address couldn't be handed to me. Nothing in my life was ever that easy. I was going to hunt Doru down after all. Ugh, I'm already getting a headache just thinking about how the hell we were going to pull this off. I found Dimitri, "staked" him, found Victor, and broke him out of prison, yet this smaller task seemed inevitably bigger than the last. I kind of wanted to give up, or at least, take a break. But I couldn't do that. Not after all the work I had done and especially not since somewhere deep inside, Dimitri was counting on me to save him. I wasn't finished yet.

"Well that's good," Lissa said, trying to sound optimistic. Thoughts and memories of her worst enemy plagued her mind, but she was trying to be strong, like me. I knew from experience (duh!) how hard it was, practically impossible, sometimes to be strong. It sounded so easy to just let go and let your own fear eat you alive. But Lissa was learning the hard way that it was worth it in the long run to keep fighting, even when sometimes, you could forget what you were fighting for. Lissa sighed, shaking the past away. "What are we going to do?"

I had been working on a couple of plans lately, but right now, we were still in school. Even when currently fighting with my mother, I wasn't going to break my promise to her. I promised to stay in school to the very end, which is exactly what I was going to do. I looked into my best friend's eyes, for the first time wearing my guardian mask in front of her. "Graduate," I told her flatly. Feeling like the paper was a ton of rocks in my pocket; I turned around and walked back to my dorm.

The next morning I received a lovely wakeup call once again from Lissa and Christian. Only this time, it wasn't their love birding the interrupted my sleep. It was Lissa's pounding nervousness that yanked me into her head. She was up and dressed early this morning, climbing the steps to the attic in the school's church—her and Christian's old romantic getaway. Butterflies flared in her stomach as she twisted the knob to the entrance and opened the door, stepping inside. Christian sat by the window on the floor in the exact same place the two of them have their first real conversation, but at that time, Lissa had been sitting there.

I read the story in her mind; surprisingly finding out Christian had requested to have Lissa meet him up here. He hadn't really been mean since their tragic break-up, but he hadn't been nice and friendly either. Christian had just needed his space after all that went down, which Lissa had a hard time understanding and an even harder time giving it to him. That's what made this little visit so weird. Other than our road trip together, Christian never voluntarily stayed in the same room as Lissa, let alone asked for a conversation with her. This was going to be good.

He looked at her as soon as the door shut. I was forced to feel the reoccurring pain and longing that bubbled through Lissa every time she looked at him. Their eyes connected for the first time in a while and while Lissa only felt her heart trip, I could see the same misery and desire in Christian's eyes that she didn't. He cloaked it well though, a second later, and frowned. "Hello Lissa," he greeted civilly. She inwardly winced at the formal way he spoke to her, so different from before. He gestured toward the vacant spot in front of him and Lissa obliged.

If it wasn't an awkward silence they were in, then I didn't know what was. Lissa was fiddling with her fingers while Christian studied the floors, obviously trying to gather his thoughts. Finally he sighed and dropped the unusual solemn act. "Look Liss, I know what happened wasn't entirely your fault." Lissa opened her mouth to agree, but Christian shook his head. "Please let me finish. I know you were influenced by Avery's compulsion and darkness and overall Rose's leaving, but you were still changing right in front of me regardless, right?" Lissa nodded meekly, biting her lip. Then, her love did the unthinkable and lifted her chin gently with his fingers. His ice blue eyes looked at her with the same venerate and gooey look as before that made me nauseous. "But, I can't hold that against you. You lost your best friend. That changes a person. I changed when I lost my parents, obviously. I'm not angry with you."

Lissa wanted to fly away with happiness, but something in his little speech bugged her. "But you've been avoiding me for two months! Why?" In a whisper, she added, "I missed you."

Christian's frowned deepened at the clear sadness in her. "I really needed some time on my own. I'm done now, though, so...." He trailed off suggestively.

Her eyes widened, her heart flooding with hope. "So....does this mean you want to get back together?" Lissa tried so hard to not get too excited, in case Christian wasn't thinking the same thing she was, but it was hard. She was struggling enough to not throw herself in his arms right then and there. I was happy for her, really happy, don't get me wrong, but the same jealousy resurfaced in me. She just might get her happy ending while my prince was still a frog monster that wanted to kill me.

Christian turned thoughtful. "We're graduating later today. A lot of things are going to change." Lissa held her breath. "Our futures are coming." He looked at Lissa again, conveying all the love he had for her in his eyes. It made my own heart ache. "And I can't imagine my future without you in it, Lissa." She continued to stare, hopeful and confused. Christian gave a rare, genuine laugh. "Yes," he told her. "I want us to get back together!"

Lissa laughed then too, wrapping her arms around his neck and letting herself melt against his body once more. Just as they were about to kiss and probably celebrate their getting back together, I pulled out of Lissa's head. Leaning back against my pillows, I noticed the ache in my chest hadn't left yet. Honestly, would it ever? It had been over 3 months since I had been with Dimitri but it might as well have been 3 minutes. I was learning that you just couldn't get over true love like that easily. Especially since that person wasn't really gone. With a heavy, dramatic sigh, I snuggled back into my bed and willed myself to sleep.

When I felt myself drifting off, I was so sure Adrian had decided to pay a visit. Since we spent so much time together during the day, he had been laying off the dream stalking but, well, I guess he wasn't going to let go out of it completely. But I was wrong. This wasn't one of Adrian's dreams, yet it wasn't one of my normal ones either. I found myself standing on an empty beach, the moist sand warm between my toes. The sky was pitch black, nighttime, with sparkling stars sequined across it. The moon hung beautifully full, seeming to kiss the tips of the dark, deep blue ocean stretched before me. I noticed I was only dressed in a deep purple bikini top and black jean shorts. My nazaar dangled from a belly button ring, but my chotki was nowhere to be found. I didn't pay too much attention to it, deciding to admire the eerie looking, yellow moon instead.

A nostalgic sigh broke from beside me. "God, you're so beautiful. How can my memories serve so poorly against how amazing you really look?"

I expected my body to freeze up at the voice, like it would in the real world, but I seemed to somehow know I wasn't in reality right now. That knowledge allowed me to easily turn my head and find Dimitri sitting in the sand only a few feet away. He was staring at the moon now, like I had been. He looked the same as always, except there was something significantly different about him tonight. Well, other than the fact he was wearing a pair of dark jeans and nothing else, leaving the breathtaking view of him shirtless. I took in his pale skin and red eyes calmly, as if nothing had been out of the ordinary and found myself strolling over and sitting beside him.

Dimitri faced me. Hanging from a black string around his neck was one of the silver, plain, spirit rings. Technically, he wasn't wearing it. This fact, like everything else, didn't bother me either. Everything on this beach seemed peaceful, even me, when I should have been freaking out. His eyes regarded me longingly. "Roza," he whispered. I was able to reach out, cupping my hand over his cheek. The skin wasn't ice cold. It felt lukewarm, like the sand and the air on this beach. Dimitri leaned into my touch anyway, closing his eyes. Then, he hooked an arm around my waist, effortlessly lifting me so I straddled him, sitting on his lap. My hand slid down, resting on his chest with my other hand. Both his arms were encircled around my waist now. He opened his eyes, sighing again, and this time, it was weary. "I wish I could stay here with you forever."

My fingers traced his perfect abs, making his eyes flutter close, body melting to my touch. "Where are we?" I actually wouldn't mind staying here forever either. It was so serene, like all of my problems and pain from the world just left me, like it couldn't touch me here. Sadly, I did know though that it was a dream and I had to wake up, sooner or later.

Dimitri pulled me close to him, kissing right below my ear. I shivered and my skin caught fire when his lips touched me. I no longer feared the fangs. "It's a place similar to where Adrian goes for his dreams, except I'm not a spirit user, so I can't do that. But it does involve spirit, so it's just an illusion." His tone was wistful again.

I buried my face in his neck, clinging to his body. It would have been the perfect opportunity right then to ask how he was involved with spirit and where he got the ring, but strangely, I didn't care at the moment. I just wanted to relax and be with him. "I don't want to go back." I mumbled into his strong chest. His hands rubbed my back soothingly.

"Mmm, I know Roza, I know." He didn't say anything else and strangely, that was okay. We didn't need words when we were together, just like before and like now. I let him hold me, rubbing my back and running his fingers through my hair while I kissed all over his chest, savoring every beautiful second I had with him, on this quiet, strange beach. Eventually though, I knew the dream was coming to an end. Reality was back to wake us up. Sighing, Dimitri untangled us from each other. His voice was bitter and angry. "You have to go back now."

"No!" I protested, for the first time feeling something other than nonchalance and love. It was like being at Galina's again, only better. I was away from everything. Just thinking about going back reminded me about Lissa and how today was graduation. I didn't want to remember those things and even more importantly, I didn't want to leave Dimitri.

"Yes Roza," He argued calmly. He clearly wasn't happy at letting me leave—he probably would have kept me here forever, if he could—but he accepted that he had too. Seeing how upset I was, Dimitri tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear, kissing my neck sweetly. "I'll see you soon." He ended the dream.

I opened my eyes just a second before hearing the pounding on my door. It was Lissa. She was here so we could get ready for graduation together and then have the boys escort us to the ceremony. Well, she had been here for the past 4 minutes, banging on my door, growing concerned. But when I answered her slight annoyance and worry faded and she squealed, bursting inside the room leaving me to sluggishly follow. I still hadn't really returned from that weird dream. Dimitri had really been there and so had I.

The thought of us like that, together without death threats and fighting, made warmth flood me, all the way to my toes. But it didn't last. I was back to the real world where my mind could function and I could remember—and freak out—about what I had just discovered. Dimitri was in contact with a spirit user! Avery was institutionalized and Adrian and Lissa were with me. I highly doubted Oksana would help a Strigoi, even if he was wearing a ring. That only left Robert Doru, as far as spirit users I knew. Did Dimitri beat me to him? Wow, what bittersweet irony. But maybe...maybe he had met another spirit user? Someone who could help him?

"Come on, Rose, don't zone out on me again!"

I snapped back to life, where Lissa was holding at least 8 different, gorgeous dresses on her arms. My eyes zeroed in on one. "Ooh, I want that one!" I jumped up and down like a little kid, pointing excitedly at the shiny blue one. It was stunning: a glossy, sky blue gown with crisscross straps in the back, a flowing train, and diamond details. Lissa giggled at my eagerness and handed it over. Without hesitation, I striped and changed into it, staring in awe at how incredible it looked on me. Lissa had perfect silver heels to match.

Once I was dressed, I helped her pick out what she wanted to wear: a strapless, shimmering gold gown with a ruched bodice and beaded lace sewed into it. We were going to give every male a heart attack, just like old times. After we were clothed, Lissa straightened her hair, leaving it shiny and long around her while I went for a stylish, elegant bun. It showed off my tattoos and kept my hair out of my face. We completed our make-up, laughing and talking as we did so. I soaked it as much of the girly free time as I could, knowing it wouldn't last. By the time we had finished, it was only an hour until graduation. Lissa's turn to freak out.

"Oh my god!" Lissa screeched when she saw the time. "Ah hour, Rose! Ah hour is all we have left as seniors! Can you believe this?" She squealed and shook my arm.

I laughed at her antics, but on the inside, I was miserable. No matter how much I resented the Academy, I wasn't ready to leave. As soon as I stepped out of these gates (metaphorically, of course) everything was going to change. The games began. No field experience. No classes. It was the real deal. I had slain numerous Strigoi, yet that didn't make me invincible. I wasn't scared exactly, but, I didn't know if I was ready to leave just yet. But, this was all on the inside and like so many times before, I was thankful Lissa couldn't read my mind. "Unbelievable," I agreed with a forced smile. Seconds later someone else beat on the door. I was seriously considering get a door bell.

Lissa rushed to answer it. I followed behind. There stood Christian, swallowing his pride, in an all black tux and gold tie that coordinated perfectly with Lissa's dress. Adrian stood behind him, not matching me, but still looking devastatingly handsome in his gray suit and green unbuttoned undershirt. He had slicked his hair back and it looked good. "Little dhampir," He whistled, not paying attention as Lissa snapped multiple, unwanted photos of Christian in his tux. "Don't you know how to make my knees weak?"

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. "Isn't that hard, Ivashkov." He grinned back, winding his arm around my waist. Dimitri was still on my mind and in my heart, but it was nice to be with Adrian right now and I admittedly liked the idea of him taking me to my graduation. It was unexpected but pleasant.

"Guys, gather together!" Lissa ordered handing the camera to Eddie, who had walked up with Meredith and another novice girl. He had avoided wearing a tux, but still cleaned up nice. Lissa squeezed between me and Christian. The four of us huddled together, waiting for the light to flash. One big happy family. I would never really be able to explain to anyone why my smile was so fake when that pictured had been taken.

Thankfully, Kirova had decided to let us senior not have the graduation at the school, which meant we got to go somewhere nice instead. Dozens of guardians went along with us, including my mother, who was still here. I felt a little weird seeing her, but said nothing. It took about 6 school vans to take all of us, but we finally didn't arrive at the place, only about an hour away from the school, closer to the city. The ceremony was being held in a park where they set up a large stage surrounded by folded chairs. Lights were spread out and hung from the trees, illuminating the dark place. It was big, but also well hidden enough for creatures of the night to have their secret graduation.

Everyone dismounted and we got straight to business. Guardians encircled the area while the students dressed in their caps and gowns. We all looked great, but I knew I would regret the high heels I was wearing when I had to climb the steeps steps to the stage and try not to snap my ankle. They placed us so girls sat on the left side of the stage and boys sat on the right. We would be paired up, novice with Moroi, Moroi with Moroi, novice with novice, as we went up to get our diplomas. Without any delay, our Headmistress took the stage, Alberta loyally at her side, and began to read off the people in alphabetical order by last name. I zoned out until someone important actually went up.

"Vasilisa Dragomir and Eddie Castile," Kirova called neutrally.

Blushing, Lissa stood up and met up with Eddie. I whistled and cheered loudly, half for Lissa and half to get on Kirova's nerves. They strolled up the steps, Eddie making sure she went up smoothly like a true gentleman, and took their diplomas. I went left alone as my best friend and Eddie went to stand beside the stage where the other graduates were. I waited, impatiently, as Christian got called up with some novice girl. I swear Kirova was waiting until the last possible minute to give me my damn diploma. The names just kept being called, none of them mine.

"Lillian Harkov and Steven Galca.......Charlotte Ivashkov and Brian Gordievsky........Rosemarie Hathaway and Jesse Zeklos......."

At first, I thought I was imagining it. How in the hell did Zeklos go with Hathaway? From Jesse and Ralf's howling laughter, I figured he somehow snuck his name in there. Rolling my eyes, I stood up anyway, smiling at my novice friends and Adrian, who was doing this embarrassing whistle thing from the back. Dressed in a blood red, untucked and half-way buttoned shirt, Jesse didn't look too bad, but I still inwardly gagged when I saw him, making sure he didn't dare to touch me as we walked.

Of course Jesse tried to be all cool and slick tried to get his arm around my waist but my warning glare and threat stopped him before I could get expelled right before I was supposed to leave for injuring another student. "Unless you're planning on graduating with a dislocated arm, Zeklos, don't touch me."

Jesse smiled back loftily, but we both knew my threat was taken seriously by him. He stepped back, allowing me to clamber the stairs without his help, though I secretly wouldn't have minded something to hold on to while I wobbled my way up. Thankfully, I maintained my balance and reached Kirova, smirking like the troublemaker I would always be at heart. "Don't cry too much when I'm gone, Kirova." I joked, shaking her hand. I had to admit, it made me a bit sad thinking I might never see her or any of my obnoxious teachers again, like Stan.

She shook her head and grinned in response. "It's been fun, Miss Hathaway." There was a fond twinkle in her eye that I could never forget. "You're going to be a great guardian."

I nodded in acknowledgement to her compliment then moved on to Alberta, who, despite her touch exterior, had tears streaking her leathery cheeks. She smiled and rubbed my arm. Her words both pleased and killed me. "He would have been so, so proud of you, Hathaway." Then, I was forced to keep moving, exiting off the second staircase over to a bouncing Lissa who was clinging onto to Christian and Eddie. Her joy mingled with mine, except mine was tainted by pain that I didn't show.

"Alright," Adrian began, ambling over with his hands in his pockets. I had to urge to kiss him—I was feeling horribly sentimental right then—but held back and hugged him instead. "Why don't I take the little graduates out to eat?" He asked everyone, but his eyes were on me.

For some reason, I felt like there was a sea of mixed up emotions swirling through me. I felt happy, bitter, nervous, relieved, and sad all at the same time. Not wanting to say something stupid or even worse, breakdown, I just nodded then allowed my friends to pick a place. I was only half listening as they bickered about where to go, my eyes prowling over the park. I'll see you soon....how soon was soon? According to his last letter, the real battle was about to begin. Shouldn't I be reacting? Shouldn't I be getting ready to fight?

Adrian touched my back, shattering my thoughts. "Come on, Rose. Let's go celebrate!"

I allowed him to lead me away, though I wasn't sure I should. I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

The place my friends picked was amazing. I'm talking straight up, 5 stars, Royal Moroi worthy. It was an exquisite sky-scraper, silver building that seemed to glow against the dark skies in the night and touch the moon. Towards the very top of the tower, all of the walls were made of glass. Adrian explained that the bottom half of the building was a restaurant while the upper half were bedrooms that people could stay at over night. He teasingly suggested we could rent one for the two of us and despite denying him; I had an odd desire to go see one of the rooms. The city itself was already extraordinarily beautiful. I could only imagine what the view would be like from up there.

The Ivashkov prince led the way through the restaurant portion. The floors were coated in crimson red carpet. It smelt of expensive perfume and wine. The walls were really the best feature though. They were made out of large, carved rocks and boulders, shaped to frame the room with a glass roof that was surprisingly impossible to see through. You only got a glossy reflection of yourself if you looked into it. Scattered around the big room were wooden tables and booths, covered in gold tablecloths and fine silverware. The chairs seemed to be made out of some polished wood. Adrian guided our group over to a booth towards the back. The room was fairly crowded.

As soon as we sat down, for some reason, all eyes fell on me. I stared back blankly. "What?"

Lissa toyed with her black napkin. "Rose, I told Christian about what happened with Victor and the note he sent you. He wants to go with us."

Adrian looked clueless, which, he kind of was. "What note?" He peeked at me accusingly. "Where are you guys going?"

Lissa snapped her eyes to me in disbelief. She had no idea I hadn't told Adrian anything about our plans. He barely even knew the specifics about why we broke Victor out of jail, but he helped, for me, anyway. I begged her with my eyes not to say a word. With pursed lips, she agreed. You have to tell him. I nodded to confirm that I would, even though I really didn't want to. "Don't worry about it," I told Adrian calmly, not showing how unstable I was feeling on the inside. I had a feeling my weird emotions might have to do with spirit darkness. I turned my eyes to the happy couple. "We'll talk about this another time, just.....not tonight, please."

Conversation switched to Lehigh University. Christian swore he was going to attend with her now and Adrian started blabbing about what "plans" the queen had for the Dragomir princess. I stayed quiet throughout the discussions, just eating my dinner, while trying to not think too hard about one problem. The joy of graduation was starting to wear off faster than I thought it would. Lissa noticed, but not wanted to attract attention to me when I obviously didn't want it, she didn't say anything. I was grateful. By the end of the meal, I felt like I was going to explode. Was this how Anna felt before she flew off the handle? I could scarcely bear to sit still. Everyone else was going to return to the school. I told them I would meet with them later, deciding to check out one of the rooms after all.

"I'll go with you." Adrian offered cheerily, slipping his jacket back on. I think he too realized something was up for me. I had been far too quiet to be myself, so I guess it couldn't have been too hard to put 2 and 2 together. Also, I think his ulterior motive was to get me to talk about Victor and his note. Adrian didn't like being left out of the loop.

"That's okay," I said, trying to keep cool. It didn't work to well, considering my shaky voice. "I'd rather go alone and I don't want to keep you guys from getting back before dawn." That was a good excuse. I only had about 30 minutes, probably less, until the sun started to come up.

Adrian couldn't argue with that and finally left with Lissa and Christian. As soon as they were gone, I went straight to the elevator. I pressed the button for the highest room on the 22nd floor. As soon as the doors opened, it was like my crazy emotions increased. I quickly stepped out and wandered down the long hallway. The floors had the same carpeting as the restaurant and the walls were made out of this cool, metal. Running my fingers over them, I found they were as cold as I guessed. When I got to the end of the hall, I stopped, only to find one of the white, French double doors were creaked open. My mind told me to turn around and go back to the safety of the Academy, but my instinct told me to go inside. Which do you honestly think I listened to?

I stepped inside, shutting both doors behind me, and was wafted over by cool air conditioner. I drank in the room with awe. It was even more beautiful than anything else inside the building, shaped like a crescent. The entire west side of the wall was made out of glass, giving a breathtaking view of the busy city below and the dark night. I could see the moon poking out from behind another gorgeous sky-scraper across from this one. Turning around, I found there was a crackling fire place in one corner, warming up the room, made out of sleek, black wood. The walls behind it were made out of metal similar to the hallway. It was like all the sounds from the outside had been blocked out. The floors were shiny and black marble tile. Deeper into the room, I saw there was a plush-looking, king sized bed decorated by a velvet, blood red comforter and a mountain of gold and black, down pillows. Last but not least, in the center of the room, were two black leather loveseats. Slouched in one of them was my company.

"Hello Roza."

Happy Spring Break everybody!!! Thank you so much for all my reviews. Your support really does inspire me. :) So now that school is out of the way for a little while (hallelujah!) you can expect a lot more updates from me with this story. I already have chapter 11 halfway done and can't wait to finish it up! So at least 3 reviews for the next chapter. Thanks

52 days til Spirit Bound!!