The electronic ring of his cell phone roused Logan from a sound sleep.
Rory, who was nestled against his chest, muttered something unintelligible and turned over as Logan hurried to disentangle himself from her arms. He grabbed his phone from the desk and glanced at the caller ID.
"Hey, Honor," he whispered. "Hold on a sec."
"Why do I have to hold on? Are you okay? You didn't come home."
Logan felt around in the nearly pitch-black room until he found his sweatpants and pulled them on before quietly letting himself out of Rory's room. The small bulb burning over the stove cast a dim light in the kitchen.
"Logan? Are you still there?"
He gently closed the door to Rory's room. "I'm here. I didn't want to disturb Rory. What time is it?"
"You're with Rory? Oh, Logan, that's great! Here I was worried you were stuck in a snowbank somewhere and you're in bed with Rory. You were in bed with her, weren't you?"
"A gentleman doesn't say."
"Since when are you a gentleman?"
"Hey, be nice. We were sleeping."
"Sorry, but where exactly are you?"
"Stars Hollow. It was snowing pretty hard when I brought Rory home, and she didn't want me to drive back to Hartford. I didn't call you because it was around two. And considering how dark it is outside, that couldn't have been too long ago."
"It's 6:10."
"Honor, why the hell are you calling me at 6:10? I've had like four hours of sleep."
"Well, excuse me for being concerned because you never made it home in a snowstorm."
"You don't usually know if I make it home at night."
"Usually you're not supposed to be in the room across the hall. I thought I should check to see if you're okay or if you needed me to cover for you. So tell me—"
"Do you have to cover for me? I no longer have a curfew, and I think I'm a little old for Mom and Dad to ground me. Although I guess technically Mitchum could take away the car keys."
"Don't be a smart ass. I meant tell me about Rory. Is everything good now?"
Logan couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. "Yeah, I think so. I mean, we still haven't figured out exactly what comes next, but we're going to be together."
"That is such good news. I'm so happy for you!"
"Thanks. So am I."
"Now don't be an ass and screw it up this time."
"Thanks for that overwhelming vote of confidence. Can I go back to sleep now?"
"Yes, but you have to tell me everything later. Are you coming home to open presents? Why don't you bring Rory for breakfast? Or dinner. I'd love to see her."
"Oh, well, we haven't really discussed our plans for today. Has it stopped snowing?" Logan walked to the back door and peered out into the darkness. "It's too dark outside to tell, and I don't want to disturb anyone by opening the door or turning on a light. Lorelai is already not thrilled that I'm here."
"I thought you made your peace with her last spring."
"Apparently not." Logan noticed the kitchen brightened and turned away from the back door. Someone had turned on a light in another part of the house, possibly in the hallway or in the living room. He wondered if he could sneak back inside Rory's room before he came face to face with either Lorelai or Luke.
"I can see the floodlight over the garage from your window. It's not snowing right now."
A floorboard creaked seconds before Lorelai appeared in the kitchen's archway. "Then it's probably stopped here, too. Look, I've got to go. I'll call you when I figure out what I'm doing."
"Okay, bye. I'm so happy for you, Logan."
"Thanks. I'll see you later." As he ended the call, Logan experienced a fleeting moment of relief that he'd had the presence of mind to slip on his sweatpants. Bumping into Lorelai while he was wearing boxers and a t-shirt would have been awkward. Or more awkward. "Sorry about that," he said. "With the snow and everything, my sister was worried when I didn't make it home last night. I came in here, so I wouldn't wake Rory."
"You don't owe me an explanation, Logan," Lorelai said. "I woke up and thought I'd come down to see if it was still snowing."
"Honor said it stopped in Hartford, but I couldn't see anything in the dark. I didn't know if the switch worked a light next to the door or a flood on the house. I didn't want it to shine through your window."
"It's right outside the door." Logan stepped back to give Lorelai access to the door, and she flipped the light on. "It stopped," she said. "What do you think? Maybe five inches of new snow?"
Logan looked over her shoulder. "Probably. Enough to shovel, anyway." He stepped away toward the kitchen cabinets on his left.
"Luke will get his snowblower." Lorelai turned off the outside light. "He loves the snowblower. It's like a toy to him."
"Well, yeah, snowblowers are awesome."
Lorelai looked at Logan with raised eyebrows. "Forgive me for wondering when Richie Rich ever used a snowblower."
Logan shrugged. "We had a groundskeeper who used to let me help him. When I was eleven, I thought the snowblower was the coolest thing ever."
"Must be a guy thing," Lorelai said, shaking her head. "Well, I guess I'll try to get a little more sleep." She started toward the doorway.
"Lorelai?" As soon as her name left his lips, Logan worried it was a mistake.
She stopped and turned to meet his gaze in the dimly lit room. "Yes?"
"Um, thanks for letting me stay."
"You didn't really think I was going to send you out into a snowstorm, did you?"
"No, of course not, but..." Logan paused, uncertain of what to say. "Lorelai, I want you to know that...well, you and I are on the same side. Whether you realize it or not, we want the same thing."
"Which is?"
"For Rory to be happy."
"And you think you can make her happy," Lorelai said.
"I think so, yes," Logan said. "I certainly plan to spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to make her happy."
"Okay."
"Can I ask you something?" Logan interpreted her silence as permission to continue. "The day I came to see you, if you were so against my proposing to Rory, why did you give me your blessing?"
Lorelai frowned, crossing her arms. "That's really only a formality, isn't it? Does anyone ever refuse?"
It was Logan's turn to frown. "So you really wanted to say no, but didn't think you could?"
"No, not exactly." Lorelai sighed. "Look, Logan, I believe that you love Rory."
"More than I ever thought I could love anyone."
"And I have to give you points for that—"
"But you don't think I'm good enough for her," Logan said. "You're probably right. I doubt anyone is good enough for Rory, but I will try my best to deserve her. I know how lucky I am to have her."
"You may not believe me, but my main objection wasn't about you. I just thought, I still think, that Rory is too young to be thinking about marriage," Lorelai said. "Hell, I think you're too young. I know you're older than she is, but you aren't that far removed from the whole carefree college lifestyle. You both need more time to grow up, to experience the real world and all the responsibilities that go with it."
"Why didn't you just tell me that?"
Lorelai scoffed. "Would you have listened?"
"I don't know. Probably not." Logan leaned against the kitchen counter. "I really messed everything up, proposing like that, and I can't tell you how sorry I am for walking away. But I love Rory, and I won't apologize for wanting to spend the rest of my life with her."
"I'm not asking you to. I just don't get why you were in such a rush to get married."
"It wasn't that much of a rush. We'd been together for over two years."
"But you spent months of that apart."
"How is that relevant?" Logan asked.
"It's just that you weren't really together for two years. For a lot of that time, you were working in London or off gallivanting around Europe with your buddies or sleeping with your sister's friends."
Logan clenched his jaw at that last remark. "Nothing like going for the jugular." He forced himself to keep his voice low and under control. The last thing he wanted was for Rory to wake up and overhear any of this conversation.
"Am I wrong?" Lorelai asked.
"That happened when we were broken up. Do I wish that it hadn't? Of course. But we weren't together at the time. I have never been unfaithful to Rory. Not once. Not even close. Is that your objection to me? That you don't think I can be faithful? Or is it just that you're going to hold every mistake I've made against me, no matter how long ago it was or whether Rory's found a way to get past it?"
"But you admit it was a mistake."
"It was a mistake for me to assume that the terrible argument we had meant we were broken up. And, in the sense that what I did hurt Rory, then, yes, it was a mistake. But it's not fair to say I was unfaithful when I honestly thought our relationship was over." Logan took a deep breath, fighting the urge to remark about how absurd it was for Lorelai Gilmore to criticize anyone's relationship history. The conversation had deteriorated enough without his hurling accusations about her romantic failures. Instead he decided on a new approach to explain why he had proposed when he did. "Do you know much about my parents? About their marriage?"
Lorelai looked puzzled. "Not really. I don't exactly move in their social circle."
"Lucky you. Well, my parents have not had what you'd call a happy marriage. My dad pretty much does whatever the hell he wants, and my mom puts up with it. But, you see, the thing is, I grew up thinking that was normal because most of my friends' parents were the same way. I know you've had your differences with your parents—"
"That's a nice way of putting it."
"But you must realize how unusual they are. From spending time with them and everything Rory's told me, it seems like they have a real marriage. That's not the norm in their world. At least, not from what I've seen."
"They've had their problems, too," Lorelai said. "If not, they wouldn't have renewed their vows a few years ago. I believe you were there that night. Spent some time in the dressing room, didn't you?"
Logan grimaced, but ignored her dig. "My point is that your parents stayed together because they wanted to, not because they had to preserve a corporate merger or avoid a scandal."
"I guess, but what does that have to do with anything?"
"I always assumed I would end up exactly like my parents. I grew up with the expectations of being the heir to the Huntzberger fortune, and I knew at some point that would mean marriage to some girl my parents deemed suitable because of her position in society or her family's business connections. I figured I'd be lucky if they let me have any say in the matter, and the best I could hope for was a wife I could tolerate. I thought that was just the way it was in my world."
"Until Rory," Lorelai said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Logan nodded. "Until Rory. She changed everything. For the first time, it occurred to me that I could have something better than my parents, something real. I could be happy with her. We could have a life together. We could have children because we wanted to, not because I had to produce the next generation of Huntzbergers."
"That's great, Logan. You love Rory. You want a life with Rory. Why did that mean you had to get married the minute she graduated from college?"
"Well, you know we weren't going to get married the minute she graduated, but I understand now what you mean. Last May, I didn't. With everything that happened, losing that money and leaving my dad's company, when I got the job in California, all I could think was I had a chance to start a whole new life, free from my family's control. I wanted Rory to be with me for that."
"But that would have been what was best for you, not Rory."
"Maybe, maybe not," Logan said. "She would have had job opportunities in California, too."
"You don't know that she would have found a job that made her happy."
"It's not like the job she has now makes her happy, is it?"
Lorelai shook her head. "I guess not."
"So you can't say she would have been any worse off in California." Lorelai started to protest, but Logan cut her off. "However, I am willing to concede that her job's been good for her, if only because it showed her what she doesn't want for her career. And, at the same time, it probably helped me that she wasn't there."
"What do you mean?" Lorelai asked.
"I devoted myself to my job, which I probably wouldn't have done if I'd had Rory to go home to every night. I've been working incredibly hard to be successful on my own, and I'm supporting myself one hundred percent. I haven't touched my trust fund or taken anything from my parents since I left."
"Oh, so what do you want—a medal? It's not like you're doing anything that the majority of people don't do. Most people have no other choice."
Logan frowned. "I realize that, Lorelai. I'm not looking for sympathy for the poor little rich boy. What'd you call me? Richie Rich? I know I grew up with the money and privilege that most people only dream about, and I took advantage of everything that was handed to me. My attitude was to live it up while I still had some control over my life, but I'm not that spoiled kid anymore. Being with Rory, falling in love with her, had a lot to do with that. So did nearly killing myself in Costa Rica. I'm not perfect. I'm going to make mistakes, but I've grown up and taken responsibility for myself."
"You know, my father said Mitchum's been bragging about how well you're doing in California."
"You're kidding."
"That's what Dad said."
"Wow. I don't even know what to say to that. That's a first." Logan couldn't recall a time when Mitchum was proud of his achievements, at least not without giving the credit to Rory. "I can't even remember what I was going to say next."
"You've grown up..."
"No, er, yes, but that wasn't it." Logan shrugged. "I guess I just want you to know that I would never try to limit Rory's options. I'd never forgive myself if I held her back in any way. I know how brilliant and talented she is."
"At least we can agree on that," Lorelai said. "But, for the record, I never shared my...uh, misgivings with her."
"I know that. I also know that she cares a great deal about your opinion, and even though you didn't say it, she knew you didn't want her to say yes."
"So you're blaming me?" For the first time, Lorelai raised her voice.
"No, Lorelai, not at all." Logan glanced toward the closed door to Rory's room. "That's not what I'm saying. It's just that things will be a lot easier for Rory if she knows you're not against us."
"I don't need you to tell me what my daughter needs."
"I'm not trying to do that. You may think she's too young to get married, but she's not a child. She can make her own decisions, and she loves me and wants to be with me. But you and I both know how much Rory wants to please the people she loves, particularly you. I'm afraid that if you can't find a way to accept me, she'll never be truly happy. I was there when you stopped speaking to her after she dropped out of Yale. I saw how upset she was—"
"So I get blamed for that, too?"
"I'm not blaming you for anything. You dealt with things the way you thought you had to, and so did Rory. And, by the way, I thought her dropping out of Yale was a bad idea, too," Logan said. "What I'm trying to say is I remember how unhappy she was when you two weren't speaking, and the last thing I want is to come between you."
"I don't want that, either."
"Good. All I ask is that you give me a chance. Please. If not for me, do it for Rory's sake. Apparently you intend to hold every mistake I've ever made and that fact that my family is rich against me, but I'm really not a bad guy."
"I never said you were. And I'm not holding all your mistakes against you." When Logan raised his eyebrows, she added, "Okay, maybe I have, but I'm her mother. It's my job to protect her."
"You don't need to protect her from me. She means everything to me, which I believe I told you last May."
"Logan, I have no doubt that you love my daughter. I also know you're no longer the spoiled kid I caught making out with her in a country club dressing room."
Logan smirked. "Right. A country club. I'm not the only one around here who came from a wealthy family."
"Okay, fine." Lorelai rolled her eyes. "My blood is blue."
Logan chuckled softly. "Please understand that, as great as everything has been for my career over these last months, I've been miserable without her. I thought she didn't love me. Not enough, anyway. But now that I've read her letters, I know that isn't true."
"Her letters?"
"The ones she's been writing to me since June. She e-mailed all of them to me Sunday night."
"First I've heard of that," Lorelai said. "Although that does explain why she was obsessively checking her e-mail and phone yesterday."
"It took me hours to finish reading them."
"That's why you asked to see her last night," Lorelai said.
Logan nodded. "I have a flight back to San Francisco on Wednesday. Tomorrow now. I needed to see her before then."
"And all it took was a few hours and you're back together."
"It wasn't quite that simple, but yes. We haven't figured out how this is going to work with my job and her job, but we know we want to be together. I promise you that nothing is more important to me than Rory. I hope you can find a way to be happy for us."
"I'll try," Lorelai said. "I want Rory to be happy."
"I know you do. So do I. That's why I said we were on the same side."
They stared at each other for an awkward moment. Finally, Lorelai smiled slightly, and asked, "Does this conversation seem a little like déjà vu to you? If only we had some pie."
"You mean you don't have any—" Logan yawned. "Sorry, guess I could stand a few more hours of sleep."
"I imagine we all could. Why don't you go back to bed?"
"Okay, but let Luke know I'll help him with the snow removal."
"You just want to play with the snowblower. You might have to fight him for it. Good night...or...good morning. Whatever. See you in a few hours."
"Yeah, see you in a few hours."
After Lorelai left, Logan slipped back into Rory's room. He closed the door, then eased into the bed without bothering to remove his sweatpants.
"Logan?" Rory mumbled.
"I'm here," he said as he pulled her to him.
"Woke up...thought it was a dream." From the soft grogginess in Rory's voice, Logan knew she wasn't quite awake. Over the years, he'd discovered that entire conversations could occur while Rory hovered in the limbo between sleep and consciousness, conversations she wouldn't recall in the morning. Logan had always found her sleep-laden murmurings adorable. Of course there was very little about Rory Gilmore that was not adorable to Logan.
"No, Ace." He kissed her gently on the top of her head. "Definitely not a dream."
"You're here." She relaxed against him, nuzzling against his chest. "You love me."
Logan chuckled. "Yes, I do. Now go back to sleep. It's still early."
Rory didn't say anything more, and it wasn't long before her breathing evened out. Despite his exhaustion, sleep didn't come as quickly for Logan. The conversation with Lorelai had been intense, even hostile at times. She may have claimed her objection was to the timing of Logan's proposal, but it was obvious she still harbored doubts about his suitability for Rory. Her remark about Honor's bridesmaids had been particularly harsh and, Logan thought, unfair. His only consolation was that he'd refrained from retaliating with some discourteous words of his own—because nothing good would have come from that. While they had made progress toward clearing the air and the conversation had ended on something of a friendly tone, Logan wasn't certain that he had won Lorelai over, at least not completely.
He also couldn't shake the nagging feeling that he'd made a mistake in revealing the secret of Rory's letters. It had not occurred to him that Christopher would know something about Rory's life that Lorelai didn't, although, in hindsight, Rory had mentioned that she and Lorelai had not talked about him during her time on the road. He hoped his slip wasn't going to cause additional problems between mother and daughter.
Because as certain as Logan was of his and Rory's love, he was also certain that, without Lorelai's blessing, Rory would never allow herself to be completely happy. He believed he and Rory could and would make a good life together—a contented life, even—but the specter of Lorelai's disapproval would always be there, lurking under the surface.
Logan could only hope that Lorelai had meant it when she said she'd try to be happy for them.
