Fathers and Sons

by bjxmas

100 word Drabbles examining the complicated relationships between John Winchester and his sons. John loved his boys but he made mistakes. As tough as their lives were, he was never a deadbeat dad! How do his sons come to terms with their upbringing and heal the hurts of childhood? Hard truths in hard lives. Reconciling John's love with his faults. Including As Time Goes By, & Henry

10. My Sons

Chapter Ten – My Sons

I am so damn proud of my sons.

Dean is steady and true.

Strong in ways he doesn't even see.

Always protecting his family.

A fierce hunter.

A good man.

Sammy, he's so much more than his old man.

Forged from the same traumas

But stronger, braver, more sure in his reactions.

Both my boys know loss.

Yet, they still feel.

Still care.

Somehow they held on to their humanity more than I could.

I retreated.

From them and the world.

Focused on revenge.

On justice.

They have each other.

The best gift I could give 'em.

So damn proud.

The End

bjxmas

September 2012

All standard disclaimers apply.

The true tragedy of the Winchesters is the father/son relationship that suffered because of their loss. That John never had the chance to fully reveal how he felt about his boys, to tell them how proud he was of them. John had to be conflicted about how he brought them up. He had to know on some level the damage and neglect he inflicted on them. He felt he HAD to, to protect them and keep them safe, to save him from losing them to the danger that dogged them. It was collateral damage, them losing their father, him losing his sons… Better to have them hate him and resent him than for them to die. He simply couldn't face losing another piece of his family. He'd rather die first.

Such pain and conflict. No good way out except to barrel forth, fighting evil and looking to take down the demon. In many ways John was a coward, afraid of loss and terrified of failure. His sons living all that mattered. Willing to sacrifice that father/son relationship and assume the role of drill sergeant. A loss they all felt.

And honestly, without John's drive and forcing his sons to become soldiers at a young age, would Sam and Dean have survived? Would they have been strong enough to do the impossible? We'll never know, but as Sam realized back in Nightmare, a little more drinking and a little less demon-hunting and they might have had the life of Max or hundreds of others who weren't up to the challenge of surviving.

Surviving is tough, conquering evil on the vast scale the Winchesters encounter is near impossible and yet they do persevere. And through it all they hold tight to their family, as battered and bruised as they all are. They are heroes and that is never an easy role to fill.

Thanks for reading…as you can see, I LOVE discussion! Comments…please!

Later, B.J.