Learning to Fall

I'm learning to fall.
I can't hardly breathe.
When I'm going down don't worry 'bout me.
Don't try this at home.
Pretend you don't see.
I don't wanna know that you know it should have been me.

Could you be with him?
Or was it just a lie?
He doesn't get you like I do.
And you don't know why.
You change your clothes and your hair,
but I can't change your mind.
oh, I'm uninvited. So unrequited, now.

"Rosalie, about this morning…" He started. "I'm really sorry. That was wrong. I know you really love him a lot Rose. I am being so selfish, but…. But now I just want you to be happy Rosalie but… And… But I want to be the one giving you corny love letters to make you smile. I want to be the one that you wake up in the morning and see standing outside your window with a bouquet of roses. And… and sing lullabies to you at night. I want to be the one to run up to you in the parking lot and… and letting everyone know you're mine not anyone else's. I want to be what makes you blush and makes butterflies fly in your stomach. I want to be him. I want to be yours. I love you Rosalie. I may not be able to give you what he can. But… I…"

I shivered and took three quick breaths. I held up a trembling finger to silence him. My heart was pounding in my chest and my skin burned. I had waited so long to hear those words. My heart was leaping and screaming for me to tell him; Me too! I want you so badly. I love you. I always have. I've yearned to hear those words since the sixth grade… Since the day I met you… But I silenced my heart, ceasing its outburst.

"Emmett, you're too late." I mumbled so low I doubted he could hear me.

"I know." He whispered, just loud enough for me to catch the crack in his voice. He kept his head down as I started my car and looked straight ahead not saying another word as a few of our favorite songs played on the radio.

Then Separate Ways by Journey came on. Emmett sang along quietly and I clenched my teeth.

Here we stand
Worlds apart
Hearts broken in two, two, two
Sleepless nights
Losing ground
I'm reaching for you, you, you

Feelin' that it's gone
Can't change your mind
If we can't go on
To survive the tide
Love divides

Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
How we touched
And went our separate ways
If he ever hurts you
True love won't desert you
You know I still love you
Though we touched
And went our separate ways

Troubled times
Caught between confusions and pain, pain, pain
Distant eyes
Promises we made were in vain
In vain, vain

If you must go
I wish you love
You'll never walk alone
Take care my love
Miss you love

Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
How we touched
And went our separate ways
If he ever hurts you
True love won't desert you
You know I still love you
Though we touched
And went our separate ways

I quickly turned off the radio, my heart beating quickly and unevenly. My breathing came quickly and heavily. I was sure he'd noticed. because I sped up tightening his hands to the wheel. My knuckles went white as I drove quicker and quicker not saying a word. I stopped in his driveway and turned off the car. No one was home.

"Emmett," I started nervously. "I… I want to tell you... But…" I wrung my hands anxiously up and down the steering wheel.

"Just tell me Rose, if…. If it were me…." He interrupted then sighed. He stuttered to find the right words to say. "Rosalie, I just want you to know… You can enjoy the thrill of being onstage, but I'll be in the wings waiting for you. I don't care if it's for eternity. I'll be backstage with my heart for you Rosalie. Forever. Forever Rosalie." He said his voice smooth like velvet. I took a quick deep breath. He didn't know how long I'd waited for those words… I avoided his eyes not knowing howto react. I bit my tongue to keep the truth from pouring out. Emmett, I love you. I love the air you breathe. You are my everything. My sun. My moon. My stars. Emmett, I give you my heart. I give you my soul. I live for you alone. Every breath that I take. Every moment I'm awake. I love you… I bit my tongue until it bled. I didn't realize I was crying until the tears stained my T-shirt.