This chapter was really hard to write. That awkward moment when your own story makes you tear up. Thanks for the reviews guys they really motivate me to write more and update faster. Here is the next chapter!
Christmas came and went and before I knew it Jack and I were a month into our last semester of high school. Thanks to me forcing him to study, Jack hadn't gotten anything less than a B all semester and as long as he did the same this time around he would be able to graduate. Me and his mom couldn't have been more proud, but he just ran his hand through his hair and shrugged saying that it was no big deal. Every time he said that graduating was no big deal I slapped him on the arm, placed a kiss on his cheek, and told him it was a huge deal.
It was the day before Valentine's Day and it was also time for me to find out if I had been accepted to the school in Georgia that I had applied to. They had a program there that would let me graduated a certified Wildlife Biologist which would put me on track to do what I wanted to do with my life. Jack and I hadn't really talked about what we were going to do when we graduated. I knew he was planning on trying to find a way to move to New York with the guys in his band and he knew I was dead set on going to school in Georgia. We just didn't know what we would do about us when it got to that point. I never really wanted to talk about it, but if I did bring it up Jack would get fidgety and tell me that we had plenty of time to figure it out. We had been dating five months and I knew I loved him, I just didn't know if he knew I did or if he loved me back.
We were sitting in his room one night after he got back from band practice. He had just sat down on the bed next to me when he pulled a big envelope out from under his leather jacket. "Look what came in the mail today." He said, smiling despite the sad look in his eyes.
I froze as I looked at him. I felt like someone was squeezing my heart and I was torn between ripping the envelope open and leaving it in Jack's hands. My mind raced and so did my heart, "You open it." I said clearing my throat.
"You sure?" he asked. When I nodded he ripped the top of the envelope open and pulled out a thick piece of official looking paper. He was quiet for a second, lips pressed together as he scanned the words in front of him.
"What does it say?" I asked, my voice shaking with the nerves.
He looked up at me and, slowly, a sad smile spread across his face. "You got in Wills. You got some big scholarship too."
I squealed and jumped on him, throwing my arms around his neck as I knocked him back onto the bed. He laughed as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my hair. I pulled back and looked at him as he put a hand on my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb. "I'm proud of you Wills." He said softly as a tear escaped my eye. "Hey, what's wrong?" His eyebrows drew together in a concerned look as he wiped the tear away.
I lay my head on his chest and curled into a ball by his side. "What are we going to do Jackie? I'm going to Georgia and you're going to New York. How is this going to work?" I whispered.
He stroked my hair and was quiet for a second before he spoke. "We'll figure something out ok." He lifted my chin so that I was looking at him. I could see his throat working and his Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped. "Willow, I love you and everything is going to be fine."
I stared at him and smiled through the tears. "I love you too Jackie." I said as I scooted up and kissed him.
Jack's hand ran up my back and his fingers tangled themselves in my hair as he held me close. I straddled him and I parted my lips slightly as he ran his tongue across them and he took that as an invitation to explore further. As our tongues twined themselves together, Jack ran his free hand along the waistband of my jeans and my hands worked their way through his hair, loving the way it felt between my fingers. I pulled back for a second to catch my breath. We were both breathing hard as I pressed my forehead to his and looked him in the eye. He was smiling at me, I could see it in his eyes, but there was something else there too, a question. I thought about it for a second as he lazily dragged his fingers up and down my back, hiking up my shirt a little, and then I nodded.
His eyes grew wide for a second, "Really?"
I nodded again, smiling even wider as I pressed my lips to his.
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When I woke up I was covered with a sheet and Jack's arm was slung over my waist. He was laying on his stomach, face down in the pillow, and the sheet was scrunched up around his waist. I turned onto my side and smiled as I looked at him. As I leaned over and placed a kiss on his shoulder, he turned his head towards me and smiled, eyes half closed. "Hey." He mumbled.
"Hey. I should probably get back to my room." I said quietly. "I don't want your mom to walk in on us when she wakes up. She might kick me out of the house."
"Ma would never kick you out. She thinks you're an angel, but she might be a little pissed if she walked in on this." He laughed as he sat up slowly.
I leaned over the side of the bed and grabbed my underwear and Jack's shirt off of the ground. He watched me with a faint smile on his face as I pulled his shirt over my head and put my underwear on. I slid off of the side of the bed and stood up, thankful for once that I was so short and I didn't need to find my pants because Jack's shirt covered everything that needed to be covered. Jack reached out and grabbed my hand before I could walk away and pulled me back towards him, pressing his lips to mine before he let me go and I walked away shaking my head and smiling. As I reached the door I hear Jack softly say, "I mean it Wills, I really do love you."
I smiled as I leaned against the doorframe, looking at him stretched out on the bed. "And I really do love you too Jack. Always have, always will."
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We were a month away from graduation and Jack was still on track to walk with us despite his best efforts. Even though he was in a band and had officially decided he was too cool for school, I used my girlfriend powers and made his study and do his work.
It was a Friday night and I was in the bathroom getting ready to go to Jack's first gig. A local bar had offered to let his band play after hearing one of their songs. He wasn't paying them anything, but the fact that people would be hearing their music was enough to make Jack bounce off the walls with excitement. I had been trying in vain to get him to calm down all day, but he just couldn't hold himself together. He had left the house an hour and a half ago to do a sound check. Before he walked out the door he looked at me, biting his nails and bouncing on the balls of his feet, "What if they hate us Wills?" He asked quietly.
I stood up on my tiptoes, putting my hands on his shoulders as I placed a kiss on his cheek. "They are going to love you guys Jackie. Stop stressing about it and I'll see you there."
I smiled into the mirror as I put the finishing touches on my hair. I had taken the time to actually curl it instead of letting it do its own thing and I had to say all the time and effort was worth it, my hair looked great for once. I leaned close to the mirror, taking a better look at my makeup. I had put on a little more than usual, but I figured since Jack's band played rock music I should look the part of a rock star's girlfriend. The thick line of black eyeliner and dark eye shadow really made my green eyes pop. I had struggled with what to wear, my go to sweater look wasn't going to cut it tonight. I had finally landed on a strappy black dress that was hidden in the back of my closet. The dress was a little tight, but it didn't look bad. I paired it with my black boots since I didn't own a pair of heels.
Miss Evie was walking into her room as I left and she stopped when she saw me. "Oh look at you sweetie, you look nice."
I smiled as I pulled at the straps of my dress uncomfortable, afraid that maybe it was a bad choice or that it was too low cut. I should change, but I'll look like an idiot if I show up in a sweater. "Thanks Miss Evie."
"You and Jackie look out for each other tonight okay?"
"Yes ma'am." I said as she shut the door and I headed down the stairs and out the door.
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I pulled into the parking lot of the bar and sent Jack a text letting him know I was there as I turned off my car. I got out and started walking towards the door, heading towards the back of the line of people waiting to be let in. Before I reached the line though I heard someone yell my name and I turned my head to see Jack by the door waving me over. I walked to him quickly and he swept me up in a hug before he held me at arm's length to get a better look at me. "You look amazing Wills." He said as his eyes travelled hungrily up my body.
"Thanks Jackie." I said, blushing.
He grabbed my hand, weaving his fingers through mine and locking our hands together as he dragged me through the door, telling the doorman "She's with me man." We pushed our way towards the front of the crowd and Jack shoved some giggling girls out of the way to place me right in front of the stage. "Stay here ok?" He asked looking me in the eye. "That way I can see you when I'm up there." He looked over his shoulder as Sam, the drummer in the band yelled his name. "I've gotta go now, we're about to start." He pulled me tightly to him and I could feel his heart hammering in his chest as kissed me. "Don't you dare move." He said softly as he gave me a squeeze. He placed a quick kiss on my forehead before turned and jogged through the crowd and disappeared backstage.
I turned to face the stage just in time to see Jack and the rest of the guys walk out. Jack was grinning from ear to ear as he stood behind the microphone that was right in front of me and he looked down at me and winked before he started picking out a melody on his guitar. Girls started screaming as he looked out over the crowd and yelled "We are The Spares!" as Sam started drumming and David, the bass player started playing.
Ten seconds into the song everyone was dancing, swaying or jumping to the music, and girls were screaming shrilly. Two of the screaming girls were next to me and as I closed my eyes, letting the sound of Jack's voice singing the lyrics wash over me, I overheard one of them shout to the other, "Oh my fucking God! Do you see him? The guy singing is so fucking hot."
"Isn't that Jack Mercer?" Her friend yelled back.
"Yeah I think so."
"Isn't he gay?"
"Honey I don't care! I'd fuck him silly any day of the week."
After that I tried to ignore them. They obviously didn't realize who I was and there was no reason I should let what they were saying get to me. I shouldn't be jealous. They were just talking, that's all it was. It wasn't like Jack would even pay attention to those girls.
After about five songs, the guys took a break and I looked around for Jack. I pushed through the crowd and jumped up, trying to see over the people around me. Finally, I spotted him at the bar. He was sitting on a stool facing one of the girls who had been gushing about him earlier. He smiled and said something to her and I could see her giggling obnoxiously from where I stood. Jealousy slowly took over my brain as I gritted my teeth and walked towards them. Now I know I was over reacting, but I had been a little sensitive recently because graduation was coming up and Jack and I only had a few more weeks together.
I put my arm on Jack's shoulder once I reached him, "Jack can we talk?"
He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything the girl he had been talking to cut him off. "Excuse you, rude. We were talking. Wait your turn sweetie. You can't just interrupt us."
I spun around to look at her. I wanted to slap the smug look off of her face, but I held back. "Excuse you bitch. I don't have to wait my turn. You can sit your fake ass down and wait for me to finish talking to my boyfriend."
"Geez Wills." I heard Jack say from behind me.
I turned to face him again. "Don't 'geez Wills' me. I need to talk to you." I turned and walked towards a back hallway that wasn't crowded, knowing that Jack would follow me.
"What the hell was that about Wills?" Jack demanded when I finally turn to face him. I could tell he was getting frustrated.
"Don't you get mad at me Jack Mercer. I wasn't the one flirting with random groupies who want to fuck me." I could feel my face getting hot and I knew I was overreacting, but I couldn't stop the crazy from escaping. It was like my mouth had a mind of its own.
I could see a vein pop out in Jack's forehead, reminding me of Bobby when he got mad, and his face turned red. "I was not flirting Willow and that girl didn't want to fuck me!" His voice got louder right before he finished.
"I'm not stupid Jack. I know how this works. You become a rock star and all the girls want you so you just go for them since they throw themselves at you. And I heard her say she would 'fuck you silly any day of the week'."
"Wills, stop being crazy. I'm not going to go for those girls. What is wrong with you?"
Just stop talking Willow. Just stop before you ruin everything. The sane part of my brain was telling me, but I couldn't control the part of my brain that was going crazy at the idea of not living near Jack anymore in just a few weeks. "Why shouldn't you go for those girls? I'm leaving in a few weeks and then there will be nothing to stop you. Why should we even try? You want to be a rock star so bad, go be a rock star. I'm sure that girl is still waiting at the bar." Tears were sliding down my cheeks as I turned to walk out the back door of the bar.
Jack grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him. "Willow, I love you goddamnit. That's why I won't go for those girls." He shook me a little for emphasis. "What is all this coming from? Don't you think we are going to keep trying even after you leave?"
"I don't know." I said, barely a whisper. Then I looked up at him, my jaw set stubbornly. "Let me go Jack."
I felt his grip on my arms loosen and I pulled away. I could hear him yelling after me as I walked out the door. I wiped the tears off my face as I got into my car. I sat still for a second as what I just did sank in, and then I hit the steering wheel repeatedly as I screamed in frustration. After I got myself calmed down, I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, heading towards home.
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I felt a hand shake my shoulder, waking me up, and I opened my eyes slowly. My face was puffy from crying and my eyes felt scratchy. Finally, my eyes focused on the face that was in front of me, Jack's face. He was kneeling on the ground next to my bed so that he was eye level with me. "What's going on with you Wills?" He asked softly as he ran his thumb across my cheek.
"I don't know Jackie." I said, my voice cracking as tears welled up in my eyes. "Every time I think about leaving I feel like I am going to go crazy. I don't know if I can do it."
Jack climbed into the bed with me, holding me against his chest as I cried. "So what do you want to do?" his voice catching as he spoke.
I lifted my head to look at him and I could see the pain written across his face as he waited. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I sat up and placed a soft kiss on his lips. I felt him let out a shaky breath as he held back tears. "I don't want to do anything right now. I just want you to stay with me." I said as I laid my head back down on his chest.
"I can do that." He said softly, holding me so tightly that I didn't think he would be able to let me go when he needed to.
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In the end, Jack and I decided that we would stop dating when I left to go to Georgia. We both knew that trying to make it work while we were thousands of miles away from each other would only make us hate each other in the end.
The weeks flew by and graduation was finally upon us. After I got my diploma, I watched proudly as Jack walked across the stage to receive his hard earned diploma. Miss Evie made us a celebratory graduation dinner and Jerry and Camille came over with little Daniela to eat with us. The dinner was also a goodbye dinner for me though. I had to be on my way to Georgia the next day and this was the last time I would be seeing everyone for a long time.
After dinner I was sitting on the bed in my now empty room, absentmindedly playing with the locket around my neck. I heard a soft knock and Jack poked his head into the room before slowly walking over to sit on the end tomorrow. "So, tomorrow's the day." He said.
"Yeah, tomorrow's the day." I repeated, trying to ignore the prickling feeling at the back of my throat that always happened before I cried.
"I'm gonna miss you Wills. I'm gonna miss you so much it hurts."
I nodded, afraid to speak. When he looked up at me, I could see the pain in his eyes. "I'm going to miss you so much I think it might crush me Jackie."
He put his arms around me as we lay down on the bed. I reached a hand out and put it on his cheek, looking him in the eye. We stayed that way, holding each other, until we fell asleep.
Goodbyes the next morning were hard. I cried as Miss Evie hugged me and reminded me to call her to let her know I was still alive. I got myself together when Jack hugged me and kissed me one last time. We had said our goodbyes the night before and there was really nothing left to say to each other that the other didn't already know. I got in my car and watched them grow smaller in the rearview mirror as I headed towards my new life in Georgia.
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Jack and I stayed in touch for the first two years I was in school, but after he told me he was finally moving to New York we sort of lost touch. I talked to Miss Evie almost once a week every week that I was away. She would give me updates on the guys, letting me know how they were doing. Even though I sent invitations to all of them, Miss Evie was the only one who showed up when I graduated top of my class.
Six months after I graduated, the week of Thanksgiving, I was packing up my things to get ready to move for my new job that I was going to start in three weeks when my phone rang. I looked down at it to see Jack's name and the picture of me and him that I had never bothered to change. Why is Jack calling? I haven't talked to him in like a year. I thought to myself as I fiddled with the locket around my neck. "Hello?"
"Wills, is that you?" Jack sounded upset about something and I had a horrible sinking feeling in my stomach.
"Jack what's wrong? What happened?" I felt like I couldn't breathe as I waited for his answer.
A choked sound came from the other end of the phone and I heard Jack trying to hold back sobs. "It's Ma Wills. She's gone. Someone shot her. She's gone."
I felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room. "No." I whispered.
"The funeral's in two days. Wills, can you make it?"
I took a deep breath as it sank in. My guardian angel was gone. The woman who had kept me safe and had been like a mother to me all those years was gone. "I'll be there Jackie."
Pardon me while I cry a little⦠Ok I'm good now. I hope you guys liked it and prepare yourselves for what is to come. I have big plans and that whole thing I mentioned in the prologue where Willow thinks she is dying will come into play soon! Review at will.
