Desperation

Rebecca woke up some time later. She froze in fear when she realized she was being held closely by someone else.

Leonard heard her sharp intake of breath and felt her go rigid against him. "Shhh. It's OK Reb." he pulled her tighter against him. "You're safe."

Rebecca relaxed. "Leo, how did you get in here?"

"I overrode the security code."

"You can do that?" Rebecca felt a little fearful. "Can anybody override the codes that easily?" The thought of anyone being able to enter her quarters without permission frightened her.

Leonard felt her shudder slightly. "No, only those with clearance. Mainly the chief officers."

Rebecca pulled away slightly to look up at Leo's face. "Why did you break in?" She demanded. Feeling a little put out that he took the liberty to do such a thing.

Leonard sighed. He could sense her beginning to build up the wall again. "I didn't break in. I stopped by to check on you like I said I would. When I got here, you didn't answer the door and I could hear you crying. It scared the hell outta me."

"Oh….." Rebecca snuggled back against Leo and closed her eyes. There was a comfortable silence between them for several long minutes. The moment brought back a flood of good feelings and memories to her.

"Will you please talk to me?" Leo asked quietly, breaking the silence.

Rebecca groaned inwardly. How could she put into words the things he wanted to know? "You read it my medical chart, there is nothing more to tell."

"That's not true. Everything in that chart is what other people wrote, not what you are dealing with. There is a big difference." He explained to her.

Rebecca was silent for a long moment. She was terrified of losing control of her emotions. Telling him what had happened to her would leave her open and vulnerable to him. She had made a vow to never let another man close enough to hurt her ever again. At the moment she was struggling with that promise simply because she was being held in the comforting arms of Leonard McCoy.

"I don't know how to tell you. I don't want to put it into words" she finally said.

"How did you and Russ end up getting married? You never told me you were even seeing him." Maybe, Leonard thought, if I start at the beginning it will get things started.

How did she explain that one, she wondered. The truth of the matter directly involved him. If she told him that, would he push her away in disgust? Or anger? She didn't want him feeling guilty about the whole thing, that wouldn't do either one of them any good. And, if they were to rebuild a friendship, it was a horrible way to start.

"I got pregnant." That was a truthful answer.

"Did he show any violent tendencies while you were dating?" Leonard didn't believe that Reb would have gone through with marriage if that were the case.

"No, none at all. But he did neglect to tell me that he had been fighting an addiction problem." Rebecca had discovered that little fact too late in the game.

Leonard wanted to ask her why she hadn't gotten out of the marriage at the first sign of trouble. He knew that would probably cause Rebecca to shut down, and he desperately wanted her to keep talking. "How long were you married before the abuse started?"

"About two months. He started drinking." There was no emotion in her voice.

"Did anyone try to help you?"

"I couldn't tell anyone. It would have made it worse." Rebecca had continually lied to the doctors and psychiatrists because her husband had warned her of the consequences. Her life would have ended. Law enforcement was unable to do anything without her testimony or actually catching him in the act.

"I would have helped you…….if you would have let me." Leonard whispered with his lips pressed against her hair, as he kissed the top of her head.

Rebecca began to sob softly. He hugged her a little closer. "I……couldn't……tell you."

"How long did this go on?" He knew the general time frame from reading her medical profile.

"Almost two years." Seventeen months, actually. From the time he started hitting the booze until the time he kicked her out. Seventeen months of torture, literally. His favorite was using an ancient 'cat-o-nine' whip. It had been a centuries old 'family heirloom' that had been used during the slavery period of the Old South. He had been quite proud of it, and very forceful. He had been very careful to avoid striking her anywhere that could be observed. Her back, chest and stomach, however, were crisscrossed with multiple scars.

"After he kicked me out and filed for divorce I thought it was over."

"What happened that night?" Leonard felt her tense at the question. "Please, Reb. It will help you, I promise." He coaxed gently.

Rebecca took several moments to piece together the words to describe that night.

Her ex had been lying on her bed when she walked into her bedroom. She had no idea how he had broken through her security system. She hadn't had time to ask. He had immediately attacked her, she fought back desperately. She had momentarily stunned him by hitting him in the head with a vase from the bedside table. That gave her time to get out of the bedroom. But he recovered and charged after her.

He had grabbed her from behind, using a thin wire to choke her. She remembers fighting for air and then drifting into darkness. She woke up hands and feet tied together, lying on the living room floor. He was standing at the fireplace, heating a crude branding iron made of a large piece of flat iron. He smiled at her when he saw that she was awake. She knew what he was going to do.

Rebecca worked at freeing her hands when his back was turned toward the fire. He turned back towards her, hot iron in hand. He told her, "you will never, ever hit me again!" The searing pain that came next was unimaginable. "Take that you useless bitch" he had screamed at her. She remembers fighting against him. She remembers freeing her hands in the struggle. She remembers pulling the phaser out of the coffee table drawer.

"That's the last thing I remember." By this time the sobs are wracking her body. She feels like she can't breathe. There is a burning pain across her back. She has a death grip on the front of Leo's shirt. "When I came to, he was dead."

Leonard McCoy feels absolutely helpless. Tears are streaming down his cheeks and there is a deep ache in his chest. Nothing in what he had read had prepared him for that.