Reversed: Chapter 11
I feel like a rebel writing this chapter – it's on my mom's laptop because she's got the internet-connect memory stick-thingy and mine doesn't. Thus, here I am, in Mosselbay, writing chapter 11 on my mother's laptop. Feeling inappropriately badass about it. Thanks to all the reviewers, once again, you guys rock my world!
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine
She drove out of Sacramento only a few hours after she left him.
Her only other stop was the CBI office to drop her letter of resignation off.
Once she drove past that taunting 'You are now leaving'-sign, she picked up speed until she drove faster than she can ever remember driving before. She remembers Jane's complaints on her slow driving in her sport's car. She remembers driving with him in the black Suburban, how she clung to the edges of her seat as he flew down the highway. Speeching him on the dangers of speeding and the importance of not rushing through life…
Now she wants to get out of here, fast. So she goes above the speed limit, way above, and doesn't care when the traffic camera flashes signalling that she'll soon be sent an outrageous ticket.
The sooner she leaves this place the better. The sooner she forgets about the man she wasn't supposed to fall for, the better.
But she can't help the feeling like a magnetic force pulling her back against her seat, towards Sacramento.
She wasn't supposed to fall in love with Patrick Jane. That wasn't the plan.
Not that she went into this with a game plan, but she had a good idea on what would end well and what would end in heart-breaking catastrophe. When she made the decision to kiss him and start a relationship, she told herself that it was for purely selfish reasons. She hated herself for using him like that, but her reasons were her reasons. No real feelings were supposed to develop, even though she knew in the back of her head from the very start they would.
She fell in a trap she set herself.
And here Red John was, reacting accordingly, as she should have expected him to. She didn't know how else to keep him safe. If she stayed she wouldn't be able to keep herself from him – she knows as much from three months' worth of yearning in the office. She's too weak to be apart from him for too long, and that's what'll kill him.
So she needs to severe herself from any temptation of going back. She needs to forget…
How am I ever going to forget? She asks herself. How am I going to forget the man who saved me from myself?
X
The first sign of her departure hit him when he parked his black Suburban in the CBI parking lot.
Her parking space was open; the powder blue Citroen that normally stood right there… was gone.
It was always there. Before they began their relationship, he'd always wondered where she went at night, because her car never seemed to leave. It was there when he arrived each morning and there when he left. Even in the last three months while they were together, she'd leave with him in his SUV.
He didn't think she'd leave! From her words and hasty exit he gathered as much that she was leaving him, not that she was leaving Sacramento.
I didn't get a chance to plead my case… I didn't get a chance to try and persuade her to stay…
I didn't get to say goodbye.
The stubborn streak in him kept him from wallowing. Instead he felt rage and disappointment. How could she do this to him? So soon after they found each other, just pack up and go!
He knows very well that a threat from Red John is neither a 'just pack up and go', nor an ideal threat for that matter. She had a logical reason to leave – to protect him.
But logic wasn't getting very far in his mind right now.
He marched into the CBI building and made a beeline for Minelli's office.
"Jane, do you know what this is?" Minelli asked the moment he walked in; he didn't even say good morning.
"I don't know, what is it?"
"It's your consultant letter of resignation. Tell me, Patrick, what the hell happened? I thought things were going good! In the last few months her number of complaints have shrunk considerably. Why did I walk into my office to this thing?"
"It's Red John, sir." He said, wasting no time. "He called Lisbon this morning. Threatened her and then she left."
Minelli's eyes narrowed. "How do you know all this?"
Jane considered telling him about his new relationship with his consultant, but decided against it. Hopefully they'll figure out a way to get her back, and then what? Then they can't be together because of the stupid rules?
"She called me this morning, sir. But I didn't think she'd actually leave." He lied.
Minelli's eyes didn't return to their normal form, they stayed narrow and suspicious. Jane shifted uncomfortably. Lying was never one of his vices.
"Follow up on Red John and find her. We need the phone Red John called her on… Among things." He said finally. "She closes cases, Jane."
"I know, sir."
"We need to close cases. Close this case. And get her back."
X
She stopped in a small town somewhere in the middle of nowhere. To be honest she has no idea where she was.
The usually ever-perceptive and super-aware Teresa Lisbon was tired and heartbroken. She didn't have it left in her to navigate as well.
She got a questionable motel room and made a beeline for the bed, with the intention of sleeping it off.
But her tired eyes refused to close.
She was plagued with memories of blue eyes and blonde curls… And angry, red faces smugly laughing and taunting her.
She felt when the first tears began to stream down her cheeks and when the sobs overtook her body with violent shakes. It didn't feel like it was happening to her. It was like she was outside, watching it happen to her own body.
She imagined his warm arms around her, trying to coax herself into sleep.
Nice try, but no sale…
In a last desperate attempt, she takes out her phone (the one she's been ignoring all day along), and dials the number to listen to her messages.
"Teresa, I know you think that there's no other choice than this, but please come back! We're following up on Red John, we'll catch him! Please…"
His voice was pleading and heart-breaking, but it was his voice non-the-less. She forced herself to stop listening to his words and listen only to the beautiful cadence of his voice.
And her lullaby, finally, after countless repeats, lulled her to sleep.
So what do you think? I'm doing my best to update under the circumstances, so please review!
Zanny