Spencer felt like shit. He was a shitty boyfriend with a shitty job making shitty sculptures. He had a perfect girlfriend who was obviously going to go on to do bigger and better things far, far away from him. And he deserved it. He was going to win the World's Worst Boyfriend award for sabotaging his girlfriend's chances at following her dreams.

Even Jennifer started to notice Spencer's melancholy mood. Every night she would pull him close to her until his head was resting in the crook between her chin and her shoulder. And every night, Spencer would fall into uneasy sleep because of his overweighing sense of guilt.

He couldn't even have sex with her anymore. God knows, she tried to turn him on. But, once again, he would just think of his email and any sexual thoughts would just shrivel up and die in his head. Finally, Jennifer just stopped trying.

"What's wrong Spence?" she asked one night, her fingers brushing through his shaggy brown hair. "You just seem so down."

He closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the feeling of her fingertips brushing his hair from his brow.

"I'm just stressed." He said, not necessarily lying. "There's a guy who wants a sculpture from me in a week and he just started telling me details." Ok, there was the lie.

Jennifer stared at him, "Well that seems really rude. Did you tell him where he can stick those details?"

Despite his mood, Spencer couldn't help but chuckle. "Hon, I can't exactly tell a paying customer to stick his sculpture where the sun don't shine."

Jennifer huffed and placed a kiss on his forehead. "Well, finish this stressful sculpture so I can have my Spencer Shay back. I don't like this new one."

Then she curled up to his side, her head resting on his chest and he was left to his thoughts.

If only it was as simple as finishing a sculpture.

Before her life-changing email, Jennifer would get home, dump her purse by the door, and give Spencer a kiss hello. Sometimes, when Carly was out, the kiss would quickly escalate; but after Jennifer got that email the first thing she did, before she even pulled off her coat and shoes, is check her email.

And everyday she would log off looking disappointed.

"I don't get it. Marjorie said that she would email me by now." She said after the third week with no reply.

Jennifer sunk into the couch and Spencer hesitantly put his arm around her.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure it will come." Spencer said feeling the bile rise in his throat at what he had done.

Jennifer heaved a sigh and looked up at him.

"Yeah, I'm just being stupid." She grabbed the remote and turned the channel to a repeat of Girly Cow and just like that the moment was over.

It was too much for Spencer. Just as Jennifer was starting to laugh at the latest Girly Cow antics he vaulted off the couch like it had electrocuted him.

"What's wrong?" Jennifer asked her hand on her heart. Obviously he had scared her.

"I—uh…I just feel really hot?" He said, pacing in front of the television. "I think I need to get some fresh air."

He made for the door.

"Do you want me to go with you? You don't look so good." Jennifer was already on her feet, reaching for her coat.

"No!" She froze, her hand still outstretched. Spencer realized he had just made a mistake. He took a deep breath and smiled tentatively at her. "No, I'm just going to take a walk around the building. I'll be back in a few minutes."

She nodded her eyes still wide. Great, now he felt even worse.

The air was a little brisk but that was the way Spencer liked it. It cleared his senses and helped him see clearly. He took a break, resting against the side of the building and watching the cars speed by.

He was going to have to tell her. There was no doubt about that. He had ruined her interview and her future career. He was a terrible boyfriend and he needed to take the blame. How did he think he could get away with something so horrible? How did he ever think it was a good idea to sabotage the woman he loved?

He pushed himself off of the wall and sighed. His eyes lifted toward the endless rows of windows. Spencer knew she was in one of those apartments high above him and he was going to have to face her and it scared the shit out of him.

To prolong the moment that he would have to tear his heart out to Jennifer and probably get slapped, he continued around the building a second time. He knew he was being a coward and he knew it would happen eventually but he just couldn't face that fact. Not yet.

Spencer even sunk so low as to talk to Lewbert to try and take his mind off of what he was about to do.

"Lewbert, have you ever messed up with a woman so bad you don't think she'll ever love you again?" he asked, leaning his forehead against the cool surface of Lewbert's desk.

Lewbert was silent. Finally, Spencer felt something hard hit him on the head. He reared back, clutching his injured head.

"WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?" he screamed, checking for blood.

"You're asking me for women advice?" Lewbert yelled back. "I'll give you some advice, don't let your lady friend's SON fall down the STAIRS and not do ANYTHING about it."

Spencer took a deep breath to try and calm himself. He wasn't going to get anywhere if he let anger get the best of him.

"Look, Lewbert. I'm going crazy here. I royally fucked up. She doesn't know about it yet, but when she figures it out she's going to hate me forever. What do I do?"

Again, Lewbert was silent. He looked at Spencer like he had gone insane and Spencer didn't blame him. Usually whenever Spencer talked to him it was to ask him to fix some random utility or something. Now here he was asking his doorman for girl advice.

"Help me." Spencer heard himself whimper. He couldn't even muster enough shame to be embarrassed of showing weakness to his cruel doorman.

Lewbert sighed.

"Look, I'm not a lady expert. My first love is psychotic and my last love hates me. Honestly, I don't know why you came to me. But what I can tell you is that women love honesty. Not brutal honesty. No that will only get you a slap to your face and a knee to your gonads, but honesty is the best policy when it comes to women."

Spencer blinked at the doorman.

"Wow. That was…somewhat deep."

Lewbert shrugged and leaned back in his chair.

"I do what I can. Now get out of MY SIGHT. I'M TRYING TO EAT MY STEAK."

Leaving Lewbert brandishing a steak on a fork, Spencer made for the elevator. He felt a little bit less scared but he still felt like his stomach had crawled into his throat. She was definitely going to throw something at him. He tried to remember all of the things in the apartment she could throw at him. Had he left any sculptures out?

Finally the elevator reached his floor. Spencer stayed rooted to the floor, even when the doors opened and an elderly lady greeted him on the other side. She watched him, cautiously for a minute.

"Are you getting out deary?" she asked.

Spencer swallowed thickly.

"Yes." His voice cracked and he thought about jumping out the window nearby. "Yes, I am."

The old lady watched him carefully until he had rounded the corner and then there he was. He was standing on the threshold between life and death.

Ok, that was a little melodramatic but his heart was pounding and he couldn't breathe and oh God what if he died on the doorstep right there? With a shaky hand he reached out and turned the knob. He arranged his face in a kind of half-smile to reassure Jennifer he was ok but that they needed to talk. He automatically looked to the sofa to find her but she wasn't there. He was confused, was he gone that long?

Then he heard her cough.

And his heart stopped.

She was sitting at the stool by the computer. He could see her email opened behind her and he just knew.

"Spencer, I think we need to talk."

BRO ITS GETTING SO TENSE.

Wait, why are you all throwing rocks at me? Is it because I've been gone so long? I AM SO SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO LET YOU DOWN.