Tony and Steve walked into a large room with vast stone walls. The ground shook, and they stumbled. They looked around, and found statues of each of the 5 friends around the middle. "What the hell…" Tony mumbled. Steve looked around. "A sacrifice…. Each of us represents a different type of person."
"That's right Steve," said a voice from the shadows, the voice of the person over the loudspeaker. He stepped out, and revealed himself to be a tall bald man with a long black trench coat and a black eye patch. "Each of you are a different archetype." "Who are you? And how do you know our names?" asked Tony, wincing from a sudden pain in his leg.
"I am Director Fury. I am head of all departments here at S.H.I.E.L.D., I make sure everything runs…smoothly. What we do here is we keep the old world from rising, and to do that we must sacrifice 5 different archetypes of young men and women every year."
"Sacrifice? Why do you make it so drawn out then, just tie us to a slab of rock and get it over with that way?" asked Tony. Fury shrugged. "Over the years, it would get pretty boring just watching the same thing. We made it a little interesting." Tony laughed. "That's not, sadistic or anything."
"So…" Steve thought, "You said the 'old world.' What do you mean by that?" "Thousands of years ago, the earth was ruled by a race of creatures who were much larger than us. When we humans came along, we found a way of luring them into hiding, and keeping them down." When he said 'down,' he looked to the ground.
Steve looked down. "Is that the shaking?" Fury nodded grimly. "4 of the 5 archetypes must be sacrificed by morning, or the old ones will rise."
"Who was who though?" asked Tony. Fury gestured to the statues. "There was Loki, the Arrogant, Thor, the Athlete, You Tony, are the Jester." Tony smirked. "Bruce, the Scholar, and Steve. You're the virgin." Tony looked at him in disbelief, and Steve blushed. "You don't have to announce it…" he mumbled. "The virgin's death is optional. But if the Jester is still alive by sun up," Fury said seriously, "Then the whole world is done for."
Steve thought for a second, and lifted the gun on Tony. Tony slowly turned, and seeing Steve point the gun at him, says slowly. "Really? Really Steve? You would do that to your best friend? That you've known since childhood?" Steve closed his eyes, but kept the gun on Tony. "Yes, Steve," Fury coaxed. "You must do it, for the good of all humanity!"
Steve stared hard at the trigger, contemplating what to do. As he was doing so, Tony noticed a stray Hydra Hailer behind Steve, but didn't say anything in warning. The monster shot at Steve's arm, and he fell to the ground in pain. Tony immediately grabbed the gun, and as the Hailer was going in for the kill, shot the soldier.
He tossed the gun down and rushed over to Steve. "You okay man?" Steve nodded. "Yeah, yeah I'll be alright."
Fury grabbed the gun, and was about to shoot Tony himself, but was attacked from behind by a dark elf. Tony and Steve watched as his one eye turned red, then completely black, and dark red veins appeared all over his face. He choked, and vanished into dust.
Steve sighed as Tony sat down beside him. He was used to seeing people die by now. They both started at the shaking walls around them, waiting for the earth to be swallowed up. "Hey, I'm sorry I let you get attacked by a Hydra Hailer, Capsicle," said Tony. "No, no. I understand. I'm sorry I almost shot you. I wasn't going to!" Tony waved his hand in forgiveness, and felt around his pocket.
He let out a breath as he pulled out a mini bottle of alcohol he had kicking around, and took a big sip. He offered it to Steve, and Steve graciously accepted. "Giant Evil Creatures…." Tony mused, "who'd have thought!"
"Well, with Asgard and everything, who knows what's possible anymore!" "True. Speaking of which, I don't think Thor even has a cousin.." said Tony. Steve turned to him, passing the bottle back.
"How could he? He's from Asgard!" They both chuckled at not questioning this earlier. "But overall, it was a pretty exciting weekend," said Tony jokingly, finishing the last of the drink. "Exciting it was…" agreed Steve.
Suddenly, the whole place started to shake violently.
"Well, Tony, this is it!" shouted Steve. "Yup, looks like it. Thanks, Steve, for staying with me all these years." Steve smiled, and the ceiling caved in as a giant fist smashed out of the ground, taking the building, and the cabin with it.