Double upload Wednesday! to show how truly sorry I am! xoxo, Carolyn

I realize that we got caught up in a moment and got carried away
I realize that it is just another moment when everything changed
'cause yeah, everything's changed

After lunch, which he ate in his office, Tim Shepard took a breather. He had two cigarettes, took two shots of whiskey, and rolled the sleeves on his white button-up to his elbows. Intricate black-green lines curled up both his forearms, disappearing under his sleeves, spelling out words and pictures and symbols that weren't all clear, or even English.

With liquid courage warm in his stomach, and his hair greased back solidly, Mr Shepard opened his office door and strode out, up the aisle between the desks – a few people glanced his way but nobody really paid him much notice – and through the wooden door into Sophie Baker's secretarial area.

Sophie herself was sitting behind her desk, fingers flying on the typewriter. She was in a white dress and, with her blonde hair in a messy bun, tendrils in her face, she looked for all the world like an angel come down to earth. For a second he couldn't take his eyes off her, but for all the right reasons this time. Not like he'd looked at her before, like a conquest, a stupid little girl caught up in a war that was none of her business. But she was beautiful, even more so now. She'd grown into her face. She was perfect.

A thump on the floor made him turn his head. A little brown-haired girl was on her butt on the floor, seemingly having fallen off the waiting bench. For a second she just looked surprised; then her face screwed up and she yelled, a sound that shot through Tim's ears like an arrow. It didn't make him cringe though, not like those little brats in the parks and restaurants. This one almost made him … hurt.

"Oh, baby!" Sophie called, dropping everything she was doing to rush over and scoop the little girl into her arms. She seemed taller than her five foot two when she kneeled down to hold her daughter. Like her love made her giant.

Sophie scolded, "I told you not to jump on the bench, didn't I?" But there was no anger in her eyes.

It was then that Sophie looked up and noticed Tim standing there for the first time. He felt his palms go clammy and began to itch for another cigarette. But this was his employee, that was all. He'd talked to her before.

But gosh, did her daughter ever look like … well, just like him.

x x x

Sophie kissed Alexa on the top of the head, and left her to continue playing, done crying almost immediately. She hadn't really been hurt. Just embarrassed, and frustrated from falling off something so sturdy.

"Is there something you need?" Sophie asked, her tone a little sharp. She couldn't help it. The last time she'd talked to him had been a wreck, the only good thing to come out of it this job. Besides, she was, all of a sudden, trying to fix things with Curly, finally, after years. She couldn't be dealing with Tim too.

Tim wasn't looking at Sophie anymore. He was staring at Alexa, with a look in his eyes that Sophie couldn't quite figure out, but it was soft, and a little confused. In the same room it was impossible to deny how much they looked alike, from their face to their skin colour, even their dark whirlpool eyes.

He said, quietly and softly, "That's her?"

"That's Alexa," Sophie said in agreement. "Alexa Robin Baker."

But when Tim repeated her under his breath, barely audible, lips hardly moving, that's not what he said. He said, "Alexa Shepard."

Sophie read his lips with a lump in her throat. She was always told that a mother loves her child the minute she knows she exists, but a father doesn't love her – until he sees her.

x x x

Joel walked through the hospital with shaking legs and a stomach full of butterflies. The last time he'd been in here, he was taking Robin home. She was talking, she was okay, she was going to see her sister again and play outside again, and maybe even go to school in the fall … And then there was Freddy, who was so pissed off at Joel, and at the Shepard gang, and at himself and his own life and his homosexuality that Joel thought he could return, but couldn't … He'd meant to kill Joel. But he'd killed Robin instead.

At the end of the hall was his mother's room, and she was sitting in her rocking chair, hair wild and flyaway. She looked very thin and lined – it had been over seven years since he'd seen her last – but she seemed as strong and healthy as ever.

"Momma," Joel whispered. "Mom … you look fine."

"Huh?" she drawled angrily. "Of course I'm goddamn fine you asshole. Who are you? Fuck you!"

Joel backed up a few steps. She was on a down day, but seemed fine otherwise. Why had Sophie said she was dying? Who had told her that?

He didn't stay to visit. He had work to do, an appointment to keep and a paycheque to pick up that he hadn't gotten around to grabbing on Friday. They needed groceries soon. Alexa needed to eat – since she seemed to be the only one doing so lately. Even Joel was thinning out, though he was getting a lot of muscle to replace it.

"This goddamn rain," Joel muttered angrily, turning on the windshield wipers. The downpour was torrential, and even on full, the wipers weren't clearing the windshield fast enough. It had gotten far worse as they day went on, and Joel's knuckles were clenched white on the steering wheel.

All of a sudden something smashed into the front, and he drove over it with a thump.

"Shit!" he yelled, pulling over to the side of the road. He hadn't even seen anything in front of him! What could he have hit?

Joel threw open the door and ran out, the rain soaking him through to his skin almost immediately. He had to search a little, backtrack at least forty paces, before he came across what he hit: nothing. He couldn't see a thing, not a skid mark or blood stain, not even a piece of garbage. From the looks of things, he hadn't hit a thing.

"What the hell …" he breathed, rubbing the back of his neck. Maybe he needed a rest. Visiting the hospital had gotten him too worked up.

x x x

Curly dropped the mop head onto the floor with a gross, wet thwack. The cement was muddy from boot tracks and dropped food crumbs, and it was up to him to clean it up because Tim didn't want to hire a janitor when they had one already built in – Curly.

Through the open door he could see his brother, Tim, talking to Sophie. What could he possibly have to say to her? Curly wondered, his face going a little red. He'd already taken her away from him once, and now he was going to do it again? Just when he was figuring out that he did love her, still, that it hadn't been some drug-induced psychosis that had caused him to want to be with her all the time. Tim couldn't feel that. He didn't have what they did.

How cliché, he thought angrily. A love triangle between brothers. It wasn't funny though, because this wasn't a movie. This was real life, and he wasn't going to let Tim take Sophie away this time – not Sophie or Alexa.