"I will not be the girl stuck at home in the 'burbs
With the baby, the dog, and the garden of herbs
I will not be the girl in the sensible shoes
Pushing burgers and beer nuts and missing the clues
I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels
To be trotting along at the genius's heels
I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by"
- "Climbing Uphill" from The Last Five Years
"I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete"
- "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane
Year Two
Regina puts out a fresh batch of apple cider donuts when she hears the front door open. She waits by the sink until Emma finds her way into the kitchen. Emma notices the donuts first and frowns.
"Are you trying to bribe me or something?" Emma asks as she stops at the island in front of the plate.
Regina exhales through her nose and says, "Possibly. Or maybe I just made a treat for you and I find it incredibly insulting that you would think I have an ulterior motive."
Emma nods her head slowly and moves around the island to her. "Yeah, I'm going with the first option. And you're just mad that I figured it out before it worked."
"Well, I wouldn't say it's a complete failure yet," Regina says as she watches Emma.
"You don't always have to bribe me with food, you know," Emma says in a low voice as she puts her hands on Regina's hips. "There are other things that would work."
Regina stiffens and pushes Emma's hands away. "No."
"Okay," Emma replies, moving back a little to give Regina some space. "So, what are you trying to bribe me to do?"
"It's nothing horrible." Regina pauses and tilts her head to the side as she says, "Tamara wants us to go on a double date with her and Marian."
"So they've actually been out on a date?" Emma says as she wanders back to the donuts and takes one. "Good for her."
"Not exactly. They've talked some, but Tamara hasn't worked up the nerve to ask Marian out yet." Regina pauses and watches as Emma stuffs half the donut in her mouth. She smiles and continues, "Which is where we come in."
"Not following you, babe," Emma says around a mouthful of donut.
"A double date, Emma," Regina says with a sigh. "As a favor to Tamara."
Emma swallows and shakes her head as she chuckles. "Oh man, I thought it would be something worse than that. You really made donuts to bribe me into doing something I would have agreed to anyway?"
"I did think you would like them," Regina replies as she walks over to Emma. "And I thought a little something to sweeten the pot would help if you were resistant to the idea."
"You know you don't have to do stuff like that, right?" Emma says in a soft voice, putting the donut back on the plate and taking Regina's hands in her own. "You can just ask for stuff that you want, okay? Nothing else required."
Regina smiles, presses her thumb to Emma's pulse to feel the slow steady beat. "Okay."
"Thank you again for last night," Tamara says as Regina paces the town line. "I think Marian had a really good time."
"And how good a time was that?" Regina asks with a sly smile.
Tamara shakes her head and says, "Don't even go there. I took her home, said good night, and then I left."
"No kiss?" Regina replies as she flips through the diagrams in her hand.
"There might have been a kiss. Or two," Tamara says, coming up beside Regina and looking at the paper in her hands. "Are you sure that it's a good idea to try to inspect the border? We're still not sure about some key elements here."
Regina hums under her breath and nods her head, handing the papers off to Tamara. "We keep hitting dead ends. Maybe taking another look at the magic here will help us figure out what we're missing."
"Will I even be able to see what you're doing?" Tamara asks as Regina raises her hands.
"I suppose we'll find out in a minute," Regina says before she tentatively reaches out to the border with her magic.
When she hits the stubborn wall of magic sitting on the town line, Regina spreads her magic over it, the air shimmering in front of her as the border is revealed, semi-transparent and purple as a bruise. She can feel the familiarity of the magic built into the border, see the roots of the curse that have merged with something else.
"Oh, I can actually see it," Tamara says quietly, coming up beside Regina and reaching a hesitant hand out. The magic vibrates and buzzes as Tamara's fingers brush against it. "Can you feel that?"
"I can," Regina says, gritting her teeth as she gets a tighter hold on her magic to keep it in place. "Please stop. If we push too hard, it'll push back."
Tamara snatches her hand back, and Regina lets out a long breath as she starts to prod gently along the border with her magic, looking for any weak spots, a point of origin, something that can be exploited in their favor. She loses track of time as she works, barely noticing the metallic taste of blood rising in her mouth or the trembling of her hands as she reaches further and further out with her magic.
Tamara's hand on her arm pulls her away, and Regina sways on the spot as her connection to the border fades and her magic sinks back underneath her skin.
"Are you okay?" Tamara asks in a soft voice.
Regina swallows and blinks once, twice; she looks at Tamara and gives her a wan smile. "I think I'm a little tired."
"Let's get you home." Tamara wraps an arm around Regina's waist and guides her to the car. "Did you find anything?"
Regina doesn't answer as she struggles into the passenger seat. She closes her eyes and waits.
It's not until they're halfway back home that Regina murmurs, "No."
She tries really hard not to be mad when Emma finally walks in the front door. She does.
But when Emma greets her with just a casual, "Hey," and nothing else, Regina almost loses it.
"Where the hell were you?" Regina snaps out. "Henry and I waited on dinner for you, and you never came home! And you didn't call or text me to let me know anything."
"Shit." Emma closes her eyes and grimaces. "I meant to, I promise, Regina. Neal came by the station and asked if I wanted to grab a burger when I got done with my shift. I meant to text you but I got busy, and I guess I forgot. I'm sorry."
"That's it?" Regina's voice rises with her anger and she shakes her head. "You take off with Neal even though you had plans with Henry and me, and that's all you have to say?"
Emma narrows her eyes as she says slowly, "Wait, are you mad because I forgot to let you know or are you mad because you're jealous?"
"Does it matter?" Regina shoots back, instantly regretting it.
"I think so," Emma says as she crosses her arms over chest. "Because you should trust me no matter who I'm with. And I'm not going to let your jealousy dictate my life."
"That's not what this is," Regina says. "This isn't me trying to control you. Don't turn your screw-up around on me."
"I don't know, it feels the same," Emma replies, an edge creeping into her voice. "It's not that big a deal, Regina. I missed one dinner. I'm still here."
"Gods, I can't believe you," Regina hisses. "Why are you acting like this?"
"Why are you?" Emma snaps back. She shrugs her shoulders and pulls the door open. "Fuck this. I'm going out. Maybe I'll come back later."
Regina grinds her teeth. "Stop acting like a child, Emma."
"Yeah, well you first," Emma mutters before she stalks outside, slamming the door behind herself.
Regina holds in the scream rising in her throat and waits, sure that Emma will come back in after a few moments. She's never stormed out before; they've never had a disagreement that they don't resolve almost immediately. And maybe she is being a little petty and jealous; it's not as though she's actually worried about Neal stealing Emma away from her. But with every second that goes by, her frustration mounts and uncertainty starts to bloom.
She fishes her phone out of her pants pocket and sends Emma a text: Please come home. I'm sorry.
She waits.
She wakes up to find Emma sitting next to her on their bed.
"Emma," Regina starts as she sits up and reaches out to her, but Emma cuts her off.
"No, wait," Emma says quietly, but she does take Regina's hand in her own. "I'm sorry. I fucked up and I should have let you know. And I shouldn't have tried to make you feel guilty when I was the one who screwed up. I'm sorry."
Regina breathes out and sits up on her knees, reaching up with her free hand to cup Emma's cheek. "I'm sorry, too, querida. I shouldn't have gotten so angry with you. It was a mistake. I should be able to understand that."
Emma smiles, and Regina traces the curve of her soft lips with her thumb. Then Emma tugs on her hand, pulls Regina into her arms, and Regina goes, lets herself fall, lets Emma catch her and hold her close.