As we walk down different corridors, presumably arranged specifically so that we would all get lost and be unable to exit Wonka and Charlie's factory, I can't help but let my mind wander and think about just about everything other than what's currently happening on this second tour. I mean, yeah, this second tour is cool and all and we get to see things we didn't see the first time around, but the fact is that I'm bored and want my mind to wander.
For example: right now, I'm thinking about how it all began. Of course, you have my story behind you and know what I will talk about, so there's no point in talking about it a second time, but just so you know, that's what I am thinking about, right now. Got it? Okay, we can move on.
Alright, now that "right now" has become another moment, I'm thinking about something else. Let's explore it, shall we?
Now, I am thinking about the guy of doom and how he must see everything. He is not that well-adjusted to civilization, so he is always fun to watch and unpredictable. I take my time to fully realize the fact that he has been Wonka's employee for ten years, or as long as I have been Violet...
Alright, sorry for not making sense. I have been Violet for the entirety of my life, which is something more like twenty years. If you think that somebody swapped bodies with me, you're wrong, and I'll do my best to prove that you're wrong.
Where was I? Right. The guy of doom.
...
Look, I don't even know the guy personally. I guess he tried to take the tour away from me by showing up at the street when I was walking from my hotel room to the factory, and that's about it. Let's move on and reveal that I'm thinking about...
...the corridors.
Yup. Apparently, even though the corridors are boring, everything else is even more boring, and I cannot focus.
Whatever.
Look, there's another stairway, leading down. I guess it's interesting that Wonka actually has stairways. I thought he used boats to go down to the depths of his factory, and was above stairs. I also thought that some of the Oompa-Loompas were disabled, and therefore stairs would just inconvenience them, but whatever. I'm not Wonka, and I don't know his brand of making sense.
We finally come up to a corridor that looks more like a storage area, and I sigh in relief, knowing that deep down, Wonka actually makes sense and organizes his factory like a real factory and not like a dreamscape that we're all led to believe it is. Out of curiosity, I look at what is actually being stored here, and of course, it's some candy designed to simulate the chocolate river. The river itself, including the waterfall, is on the cover on the boxes, and the text written on the boxes reads "So tasty, you'll want to fall in!"
And then I think of, and look at, the person that these candies are targeting - Augustus Gloop.
"Wonka, this is so uncool. I tried my best not to fall into the river for a second time, and you make fun of me like that?" Augustus says.
"Come on, Augustus, Wonka is not making fun of you." Charlie answers.
"That's right! I am simply capitalizing on the success that is the first chocolate factory tour. After all, the sales of my chocolate did see a boost, and the imaginations of children all over the world got to work." Wonka boasts, and I roll my eyes.
"Yeah, whatever, Wonka. As long as you're not selling giant blueberries or tiny televisions, I can get behind..." Mike trails off as he notices the next thing being stored, which is... some sort of white pedestal surrounded by a glass cage. The tagline this time is "It will get sent down your throat in a million little pieces!".
"Alright, I have to conclude: Wonka is officially out of his mind." Mike says, and we all agree, except Isabelle, who still doesn't know English. I translate what he just said to her, and she just nods. So, I guess that is an unanimous agreement, and we can move on to the next thing that is being stored.
Then I notice what this next thing being stored actually is, and oh God, Wonka's not even being subtle anymore. Or maybe he still is, which means I will have to use the name of God a second time.
It's action figures of me and Isabelle, labeled appropriately. The tagline this time is in French, and translates to "Be better than a fashion doll!"
Great. So apparently, Wonka is making a killing out of the Golden Ticket winners,
"Wonka, this is so unfunny, I will-" I begin saying, but am interrupted by, out of all people, the fake Violet.
"Willy Wonka, you simply cannot use my name like that!" The fake Violet shouts.
"Your name, which is?" I respond, knowing that the fake Violet is not really named Violet.
"Violet Beauregarde? I'm not sure which angle you are approaching this question from." The fake Violet says. I swear, his voice makes the whole conversation even funnier.
"You keep claiming you're Violet. What's up with that?" Veruca asks.
"I would like to know that too. Unfortunately, his stay at my home proved nothing." My mother says.
This time, the star of the show is Willy Wonka himself. He thinks quietly for a minute or two, then, as no one - not even Charlie, who had the most time to get used to Wonka's mannerisms - expects, he snaps his fingers.
"I know what got into you two." He says, and we all (once again, except for Isabelle) look at him.
This is going to be a long ride.