I am so sorry it has taken me this long to update. Truth be told I have had to seriously think out the direction of this story (it was only meant to be a one shot remember!) and I have been stressing over where I want it to end up. I reckon I have got it now, so the flow should come thick and fast again...Ha, famous last words!!!

So, sorry for the wait. Hope you enjoy.

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Chapter Ten

BPOV

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I was wandering through the darkness, trying to feel my way through the void. There was nothing, no sight, no sound, no smell. I couldn't find my way and the panic that cut through me was as sharp as a blade. I didn't know where I was heading but I knew I had to keep going, keep moving.

Somewhere in the distance I heard whispering, a deep, gentle voice calling softly through the abyss. I couldn't make out the words but I knew who it was and I found myself picking up pace to get to get to him.

My Vampire.

I ran towards the voice, hearing a familiar, sweet melody flow through the darkness. Just as I was about to give up he was there, in front of me, covered in blood. It dripped from the hem of his shirt and down his trousers. I looked to his face seeing wild eyes staring straight at me, pleading, desperate. His mouth and chin smeared in the ruby red droplets that stained his clothes. His arms reached out to me, like he wanted me to save him from something.

In a flash of blinding light he was gone and I fell to the floor alone, curled up in what seemed to be my purple duvet, and cried.

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As I awoke I felt the damp pillow beneath my face and realised it was not just in my dream that I had wept. I brought my hands up to my face and forcefully rubbed my eyes trying to numb the throbbing behind my lids. I felt a dull, but not too uncomfortable ache between my legs as I remembered what had happened.

I saw Edward's dark, lust filled eyes as he pulled me to him. I could still feel his cold breath ghosting over my body, and I shivered at the thought. I remembered the moment he took me, took my innocence, and the look in his eyes as he came back to me, realising what he was doing.

I hate him...I hate him...

I hate him...?

I let out a loud sigh as I recalled my thoughts in the shower, before all this. I would have done anything for him if he had just asked. I had no idea what to do, but I knew I would have done it all...for him. Now, I feared the thought of seeing him. Would he know I was awake? I had to think of something fast. I felt my pulse race and my heart pick up speed as I tried to clear my thoughts of what I should do when he returns for me. Why had he stopped?

"Bella?"

I startled at the tinkling voice that rang across the room, a female voice.

"Bella, my name is Alice. I am here to help you," she chimed.

I sat up in the bed. I noticed I was dressed in a pair of black cotton trousers and a pale blue t-shirt. I hoped it had been this girl who had dressed me and not Edward. The thought of him having to dress me after what he had done to me sent pity rippling through my body.

What? Pity? For him?

I shook my head, clearing my insane thoughts. I looked up at the tiny figure slowly walking towards me with her palms facing up, much like you would when approaching a stray dog. I backed myself up against the head board as she moved closer. It was obvious she was just like Edward, a Vampire. My brow creased at how easily and naturally that thought came to me now, like it was nothing at all to think of these creatures in our world.

She moved gracefully, but with a different quality to Edward. His movements were always intense and predatory, which I can't deny drove me wild as well as scaring me. This childlike creature moved with such energy and bounce she was like a spring, coiled and released with each step.

Her eyes never left mine as she closed the space between us, her spiky black hair swaying as she came to the end of the bed and lowered herself down onto the far corner of the mattress.

"We thought it best if I came to explain. Edward is still a little shaken after what just happened." Her voice was like a bell and, for a moment, I was mesmerised by it, then I registered what she had said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I shrieked. "I didn't mean to offend poor Edward. Of course he would be shaken up!"

The sarcasm dripped painfully from my lips. I could feel the sting of tears well up and I tried in vain to keep them back. My tears ducts have always been connected to my anger, much to my embarrassment, and I hated it. I felt weak when I most wanted to be strong. I knew Edward would feel bad. I saw it in his face when he realised he had hurt me. At that moment he looked almost as broken as I felt. I couldn't condone what he had done, but I wanted the coward here, to explain himself. Not send some childlike angel to fight his battles.

I knew it all seemed ridiculous. Me, a tiny human girl trying to scold a Vampire, he would laugh in my face. Yet, I had to try. I didn't want him to think of me as weak and if, or more likely when, he finally kills me I need to go out fighting.

All my life I have done things to please others. Moving to Forks was just another inevitable episode in my conventional life. My mother wanted freedom, so of course, for her happiness, I would sacrifice my own. I always went along with what was expected of me, predictable, self sacrificing Bella. Well, I was sick of it. Not anymore. This time I would fight for what I want. I won't lie back and take it; I won't be the victim anymore.

Err, hello...kidnapped by blood thirsty, sex craving Vampires! Do you really have a choice?

"Bella, I am so sorry for what Edward did to you." She reached out to take my hand but I flinched away. "I know he feels the same. What he did was inexcusable. You have to understand, Edward, he's...different from the rest of us."

I looked at her questioningly. It was then I noticed the colour of her eyes. They were a beautiful shade of molten gold, liquid pools of caramel and honey glistening at me. I couldn't pull my gaze from them.

"Your...your eyes..." I stuttered.

"It shows the difference in our lifestyles...our diet. You see Bella, Edward used to be part of our family, a long time ago. He used to share our way of life. However, he lost his way. He knows this path is wrong, and only leads to loneliness and despair, but his demon won't leave him be Bella."

She moved so quick I let out a startled yelp as she sat just inches from me, staring me right in the eye, pleading and desperate.

"You can save him Bella. You can bring him back to us. Please."

EPOV

Finally alone, I watched my estranged family disappear from sight and then mind, as they took off into the trees. The silence was deafening. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the quiet hum of the forest around me. I felt the cool breeze wash the tension from my face and took several unnecessary but cleansing breaths of the still night air.

Having them here, Alice and Jasper especially, had been torture. Their invasion, grateful though it was at the time, only reminded me why I had left. The constant stream of thoughts, fears and judgements battering into me made me feel exhausted. Vampires aren't even supposed to feel tiredness, but the strain I felt while trying to block them drained me to my very core.

I returned to the house and swiftly made my way to my room. As I passed Bella's door I could hear her moving around. I paused for a moment, debating whether to see her or not. I heard her exasperated sigh and decided to leave her for a while and let what Alice had said sink in.

When did you become such a coward? Go in there and finish this.

I growled back the beast and instantly found myself sat at my piano. I hadn't played for such a long time, finding no inspiration in the loneliness that surrounded me. Since Bella came into my life though, I found the desire to compose again. She inspired me and I couldn't help but run my cold fingers over the inviting keys in front of me.

I glanced around my room, my sanctuary. It was the one place I could hide from everything. Just be me. The demon always quietened when I entered here. It was like he didn't want to be a part of this side of me.

This evil in me made me such a disappointment to my maker. Carlisle had tried so hard to help me fight it. I had tried so hard to fight it. I had been placed on this pedestal, Carlisle's first 'son.' The others had looked at me like I could teach them something, like I was just like him. So, to please them, to please Carlisle, I pretended. I acted for so long like everything was ok, that I could do it, that deer, bear, even rabbit, was enough. It never was.

The day I left them, set myself free, was the best day of my un-dead life. I could go where I wanted with no one watching over me, no one judging me for my actions. So of course my actions turned a little darker, a little more self indulgent. It felt so good to set the demon free and feed accordingly.

Oh that first hit of human blood was the sweetest flavour I had ever tasted. To go from sinking my teeth into the coarse coat of an animal to the smooth, pulsing flesh of a young woman was divine. The demon, freed, was so much quieter, happier. I was euphoric for many years, moving around from city to city, living briefly on the outskirts before moving on again before the population dwindled too suspiciously. I was a true nomad.

It was many years before the loneliness and monotony began to take its toll. I kept going, living for the hunt, drinking with such gluttony to fill the time. I stopped writing, stopped composing, stopped 'living.' I truly was dead.

Until I found her, my Bella. She changed everything. She gave me reason, hope, a desire I had long since lost. The demon was not happy at my reluctance to take her. He couldn't see the difference in Bella, that she wasn't just lunch and a quick fuck. After so long in contented calm, he reared his ugly head, and for the first time since I had left Carlisle and the others, I hated him.

Now she was lost to me. I had ruined my last chance to change my existence. I didn't want to change my dining habits or go back to living with the Cullens, but if it meant I could win back Bella like Alice implied, then I would do it. For Bella. It would be worth it. I would try, but not for Alice, not for the Cullens, for me and for Bella.

I turned my attention back to the piano. My hands had begun to play the melody I had used to comfort Bella as she had cried. It seemed to work then; I secretly hoped it would help now. I closed my eyes and let the music flow through me, calming me, filling me. I longed to make this right. I would do anything to make this right again.

I continued playing but my eyes shot open. Bella. I could smell her on the other side of my door. Her scent, though not as potent, drifted under the door and scorched my throat. I delighted in the torture of it. My Bella. She will be mine. She will. Even if I have to be 'good' to get her, I could pretend again. She will understand my sacrifice for her and she will love me for it.

Mine.

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Please review and tell me what you think! I know there are alot of readers who haven't said anything yet...are you enjoying it? Do you have any suggestions on how to improve? It really makes me want to write when I read your reviews and getting to 100 already has really helped me through this tough bit.

Thanks to all of you who review...your encouragement means the world, it really does. (I promise the next chapter is on it's way very soon!)

Thank you xxx