Tales and Prayers of a Discerning Man

by whirligigkat

"No, terribly dull, find yourself another one of those tweedy boyfriends that isn't a serial puppy-killer and you'll be right as rain in no time. Off you go. John, is there any of that take-away left?" A series of vignettes via iTunes shuffle. Cover image by Pikse.

10. (Night Time is) The Right Time

"(Night Time Is) The Right Time"- Ray Charles, 3:24

"Two, er.. beers, please. No, please use this. Four hundred and forty-three point seven milliliters."

And back he comes, clutching two beakers and looking outrageously pleased with himself.

"Well. Yes. This seems logical, of course."

"It is indeed, John. I've done the precise calculations, and in order for us to not be entirely pissed after patroning all of 17 bars over the course of 2-and-a-half hours, this is the optimal amount of imbibement-"

"Imbibement is not a word, Sherlock-"

"..Imbibement, as I say, assuming each beer comes in at 4.75% alcohol content which, by my measurements, culminates in a very standard, albeit not very exciting, alcoholic beverage."

"..Ah hah. Yes of course, I see it now."