AN: As usual, thanks where thanks are due (:

"Please don't ask me how I feel
You don't want to hear
The doubt I'm already in"

Restless by Asrai

The room was dark and even with the dim light of the only lit candle, I could barely make out Alistair's shape next to me in the bed we lay in. His hand was against my thigh, lightly caressing my skin as it slowly slid up to rest on my waist, while his mouth searched for mine. As I exhaled, a deep moan escaped from my throat, his lips smiling against mine.

"I love you, you know that, don't you?"

I smiled as well and sighed against his collarbone, trailing it with light kisses.

"I love your eyes... you ebony hair..."

Ebony hair? But...

"I love you, Morrigan."

I woke up startled, sitting up and trying to inhale as much air as I could. Small beads of sweat ran down my back and my hair was pasted against my forehead. The tent was beginning to warm up by the heat of the rising sun but my sweaty clothes, along with my armor made me feel cold and uncomfortable. I rubbed my eyes and felt my hand shaking against them. I was trembling, losing control even and now, not only were these...nuisances poisoning my thoughts, but also my dreams.

I sat up only to flinch as I felt like I had just been trampled over by a dozen ogres. Sleeping with one's armor on was most definitely not a good idea. I couldn't even imagine how Oghren could do it, let alone wake up the next morning like he had been sleeping on clouds. Although that would explain all the drinking... even so, with my sore muscles and wounded pride, I decided to crawl out of my tent and try to get cleaned up, hoping that some cuttingly cold water would be enough to drive out the drivel that insisted on living in my head.

When I finally managed to gather up the courage to stick my head out of the tent, I was greeted by the sun shining right in my eyes and reminding me why I really shouldn't drink as much as I had the night before. But foolish is as foolish does and as much as I wanted to roll back into my tent, curl up into a tiny ball and hope to die, we had wasted enough time. We had to get moving again and I needed to get the grime and sweat off of me.

As I started to drag myself outside, a mostly unwanted voice cut through the air.

"Good morning. Feeling well today?"

I dropped my head and stood there, on all fours still halfway inside the tent, trying to think of something to say or just the best route to start running away from camp. But Zevran simply stood there, surely with a smug smile on his face and I really, really wasn't in the mood to face him. Not after the night before. And especially not after the nice surprise I had in the Fade.

"It's not that I don't appreciate your... position, but the sun is quite beautiful today. I'm sure you could appreciate it much better if you didn't try to find yourself a hole in the ground, my dear Warden."

Shut up shut up shut up...

"Yes well that's all very nice but... I wanted to get cleaned up before we get moving. Which should be soon." I muttered while forcing myself to stand up, shielding my eyes from the sun and trying to avoid Zevran's gaze.

"Cleaned up? Oh..." His saddened tone of voice made me look at him, disappointment tainting his features. "I did offer to walk you to your tent but to think you'd decline and then have your fun without me... I am quite hurt, if I may say so."

And then there it was. That lecherous smile. Those lustful eyes. His overall I-want-to-get-in-your-sweaty-pants look. So my heels heeded to my headache and my nauseous stomach and quickly turned to the nearby stream, making me walk away as fast and yet as calmly as I could from the elf. I was not in the mood. Most definitely not.

"Ariadne, wait!"

Curiosity made me stop. There was something in Zevran's voice as he called out to me... something that wasn't there very often. I couldn't quite make out what it was but the strangeness of it made me turn slightly, the single task of turning my neck feeling like a task of epic proportions.

"Ariadne..." His voice once again resonated within my name, again with that intriguing tone I had heard before. "I apologize."

I wanted to ask him to say it again, fearing I hadn't heard it properly but I only managed to stand there, mouth agape and squinting my eyes.

"It is very clear you are not feeling well... and I apologize if I have helped towards that discomfort." There was no smile on his face, not a slight hint of mischief in his eyes.

"You were obviously not in a proper state last night and I was..." Zevran sighed and took one quick glance at the ground, perhaps looking for that same hole I was searching for. "...foolish to act the way I did. Take care of yourself, I will begin to prepare things for our leave."

And there it was, that slight tinge of something that bothered and yet intrigued me... he wasn't being his lecherous self nor was he being sarcastic... he was genuinely apologizing... it was regret. Despite our friendship and his support of late, this was still something new and I was still dumbfounded as he simply turned his back and began walking towards his own tent.

I knew Zevran respected me, as a fellow warrior perhaps but I did not expect this from him. I knew he could very well be a gentleman but I was more than used to his attitude towards me consisting of nothing but well crafted innuendos and I genuinely thought the alcohol fueled night would be brushed off as nothing more than that. But... he acted like I was a poor helpless maiden of whom he was about to take advantage of. This was surely different and as with all things different, it made me extremely uncomfortable. I liked to know what to expect, surprises were most definitely not to my liking and now... now of all times, that I needed some reassurance, something to help me keep my sanity, this happens. What would be next, Oghren doing my hair?

Well, if anything, the little surprise surely took my mind off my nightly terrors. Managing to break out of my surprised state, I sighed and dragged myself off to the stream, hoping that it would help me to focus on something other than men and their complications. It didn't.

The quick bathing really did nothing to improve my spirits as I sat still on my horse and remained silent through our travelling. Oghren's loud voice could be heard throughout the forest although one could very well consider it an improvement, when you think of his usual snoring.

"And you managed to bed a dwarf without getting her drunk first?"

"Yes, my fellow smelly Oghren, I have. Sometimes alcohol is not needed. A light caress here, the right word there...if I learned anything in the whorehouse is that, sometimes, people are simply... needy, and they try to fulfill the void in their souls with various pleasures. So what better way to take someone into my bed, than to appeal to that lonely place inside of them?"

Often I would look at my party members and follow their conversations, having this time fallen upon the mistake of looking at Zevran. His words felt all too familiar, the look he gave me... not so much. He turned to face Oghren and his expression changed, raising his eyebrows and grinning.

"Call it comfort, if you will."

"False comfort, no?" I shut my own mouth as quickly as I opened it and concentrated myself on the small spot between my horse's ears. I did not dare to look at Zevran once more.

"Eh," Oghren shrugged. "call it what you want, I still know what I'll be getting. And she probably won't feel very comfortable while at it."

His laughter echoed through the thick silence that had settled between me and Zevran. I could feel his eyes on me but I kept my gaze still. For once, I didn't know where I stood with the elf and I wasn't at ease with it at all. What did he want from me? A night well spent? He did say that assassins take their pleasures where they can find them... but with Alistair out of the picture, his apology felt so odd, so out of place for something that before would've been brushed off as just another night... I couldn't help but be bothered by it.

As nightfall approached once more, we stopped and began to set camp again. I always hated when we were forced to stop but Lake Calenhad wasn't all that far now and hopefully we would reach it in one more day. After the entire day travelling, we surely could use the rest. Once more, the three of us shared a meal, although this time I was less than eager to socialize, takung my leave to my tent as soon as I could. But when I sat up from my place by the fire, Zevran quickly caught up with me and stood in my way. He looked very much like his usual self, his sly smile and the confidence in his eyes but, despite the familiarity of this, I couldn't shake the anxiousness that surged over me when I saw Oghren retreating into his own tent.

"I believe you have been avoiding me."

"No, not really." I kept looking at everything but him, drumming my fingers against my thigh.

"Yes you have. But despite your apparent desire to stay away from me, I needed to speak with you."

Startled at his words, I couldn't stop myself from staring at him, trying to think of something to say but failing miserably as he stretched out one hand and grabbed my own. I felt him placing something there and closing my fingers over it, smiling at me while he slowly withdrew his hand from mine. As I looked into my palm, I saw a single gemmed earring, a dark sapphire dangling from intricate silverwork. I was mesmerized by the beautiful piece of jewelry but confused as to why I had been given this.

"I acquired it on my very first job for the Crows. My target was a merchant prince and that..." Zevran's eyes laid on the earring, a strange tenderness in them. "was all he wore. I have kept it ever since as a reminder of the occasion. It is very dear to me... and I want you to have it."

"Zevran, I..." I kept opening and closing my mouth, having been caught completely off guard. Surprises, damned surprises. "I can't accept this."

"Yes, you can. You... you have done more for me than anyone I've known." His eyes were fixated on mine, his voice lacking his usual confidence and showing a Zevran I didn't think I would ever know. "You have offered me life when anyone else would kill me, you have offered me friendship when all I was to give you was a blade through your back. You have offered me your trust. Therefore, this is the least I can give you."

Before I could say anything, Zevran quickly turned on his heels and began to walk away, leaving me bewildered, looking like a fool with the earring in my hand and my jaw dragging through the floor. Finally managing to break away from my frozen state, I gathered my own voice and forced it out.

"Zevran!"

He stopped and turned slightly back, an expectant look on his face.

"Thank you."

A smile appeared on his lips, not the smile I was used to get from him but the smile I saw when I offered him the Dalish boots. Happiness and gratitude. A different Zevran was being unveiled right in front of me and I had absolutely no idea of how to deal with it.