Blame the laptop. Blame the laptop. Blame the laptop. BLAME THE LAPTOP! I won't give you the gory details, just know my laptop has not been very kind to me this year.

But I intend to finish this story, no matter what life throws at me! This has been my favorite story to work on, and I don't want to give it up! Not when Gaz and Zim haven't even gotten together yet! I want to show all IZ fans that Invader Zim CAN have some romance and still be good….if it's done right! So even though I'm entering college and updates are going to be tough, I will not give up! No matter how much time passes between updates! I will only quit this story if I have no other choice! If that happens, I'll give you guys a note telling you what happened!

Get comfortable! This is a long one!

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. Or Dragon Ball Z. Don't worry, you'll find out later.

Mist. Haze. Grey dirt. Tiny, black insects crawling everywhere. A raven crowing in the background. The smell of raw flesh polluting the air. This is what he heard, felt, and smelled. This is where he was trapped. With all these senses surrounding him, only one thought was able to process through his mind:

What in the name of Irk did he drink last night?

"Helllooooooo?" Zim called into the abyss. "Anybody here? GIR?"

He was met with only the sound of the raven.

"Gaz-human?"

Silence.

"….Dib-monster?"

Nada.

Zim scowled. He hated being ignored. He huffed and began to ponder. He could've sworn he had just been at the base two hours ago. Hadn't he just fallen asleep? And wasn't his leg supposed to be broken? Where in the name of Irk was he? And how did he get here?

"Cah! Cah!"

The small Irken growled. That raven was seriously getting on his nerves. He quickly shook his head and focused on the task at hand. Finding out whether or not Computer slipped something into his food last night. That had to be it. He could only think of two other solutions:

One, the Dib-sister had finally followed up on her threat and sent him into a nightmare world. Although he seriously doubted it. They had left on a rather peaceful note last night. And he'd like to think if she wanted to doom someone just for kicks, she would first seek out her brother. Or Iggens.

Two, he was dreaming. Irkens were perfectly capable of having visions while they were recharging, but again, he seriously doubted it was one of HIS dreams. He was still only two feet tall. And Dib's corpse wasn't anywhere in sight.

"Cah! Cah!"

"Shut it, winged-beast!" Zim shouted at the noisy creature. The little Irken began to move onward. He knew eventually his head would clear up, Gaz-human would him go, or he would wake up. He just hoped he found something interesting by then.

"Cah! Cah!"

"YOU HAVE EARNED MY 'COLD SHOULDER', YOU INSUFFEREABLE LITTLE CREATURE!" Zim shouted over said shoulder. Unfortunately, the raven must have taken his words the wrong way, for in another instant, the bird was perched on his shoulder.

Zim sharply looked at the miserable creature. "That was not wise what you just did, little foul."

The raven merely tilted its head and began pecking at the Irken's ruby eyes.

Sputtering, Zim tried to swat the offending creature off him. "Remove yourself from Zim at once! I have no time for your ridiculous squawking!"

The bird merely jumped on the green man's head, digging its talons into his skull.

Now, Zim was fuming. "I swear, if you release your stinkies on my gorgeous head, then we are so doing the 'bringing it on'!"

The raven lowered its head so it was right in between Zim's eyes. The Irken frowned. "Uh…"

"NEVERMORE!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Zim screeched as the startling bird finally took flight. The Irken quickly picked himself up off the ground and watched as the raven flew off into the abyss. He remained silent for quite some time, then finally he said, "You know….even this universe has a limit on the randomness."

"Zim…."

Zim quickly turned his head to see who was speaking to him. He didn't see anyone. "Yeeees? Did someone refer to me in a sinister tone?"

"Zim…..come to me….come to me…..."

Zim blinked. "Uh….no?"

"Yes…"

"No, I don't want to."

"Come, Zim…."

"No."

"Now, Zim…."

"I don't wanna."

"Come…."

"No, I said."

"ZIM! GET YOUR LITTE GREEN HINEY OVER HERE NOW! …I mean, come to me….."

Zim gulped. "Okay….but only because I left my GPS at home…." That being said, he began to follow the creepy voice into the abyss.

Several minutes passed, but they felt like hours to the loud Irken. His only company was the creepy voice leading him deeper in the mist. He gently rubbed his temples.

"Mr. Creepy, am I there yet?"

No, not yet Zim."

"But Zim needs to release his bladder!"

"…You should have done that before you came to me…"

"ZIm didn't have to go then!"

"ENOUGH!"

"But I cannot have an accident like some filthy human! Or GIR!"

"STOP! You are here."

"Oh, goody!" Zim checked his surroundings….and felt the overwhelming urge to scream. It looked as though he never moved an inch. He was trapped in the same misty haze he had been in fifteen minutes ago! The only difference was a single teddy bear lying in the dirt. The Irken groaned and picked up the tiny toy.

"Well, I'm probably going to die out here, but at least I'll have this HUMAN TOY to keep me company!" Zim scowled in frustration.

"What? Not good enough for you? Why don't you go hang out with the human then?"

Zim's jaw dropped. "AHHHHHHHH! Possessed toy thing!" He sharply threw the horrifying object on the ground.

"…Ow."

"WHY?" Zim bellowed. "Why do you haunt me? Does this have something to do with my past actions? Because GIR'S piggy just HAD to go! I mean, how am I supposed to work with that thing staring at me all the time?"

"Do you KNOW how crushed your SIR unit was after the death of his piggy? The teddy bear frowned.

Zim nodded. "Yes, it was very funny."

"Heartless creature….but that is not what I'm here for!" the teddy bear cleared his throat. "We need to talk about your character development."

Zim blinked. "I'm sorry…what?"

"You are changing Zim. You are changing deep within."

"You mean I'm finally getting taller?"

"I meant emotionally."

"…My emotions are getting taller?"

"No! I mean your emotions! They are rapidly changing!"

"….Are they getting taller?"

"NO! NOTHING'S GETTING TALLER!"

"Then what's happening to me?"

"You're beginning to care!"

"…..About getting taller?"

"…Murdering is a sin….murdering is a sin…."

"Huh?"

"Listen to me!" the bear growled. "You're being deceived!"

Zim smirked. "You're telling me…"

"You have been living a lie! Everything you know is a lie!

Zim raised a non-existent eyebrow. "How so?"

"You are not TRULY an invader! You have been-"

"LIEEEEEES!" Zim instantly screeched. "How dare you! How dare you question the status of the almighty ZIM? You are nothing more than a human plaything!"

"Zim, you were sent on this Earth to die!"

"UNTRUE!"

"Your mission is a fake! YOU'RE a fake!"

Zim plugged his fingers into non-existent ears. "No! Zim will not listen! Lalalalalalalalala! Zim is not listening! Is someone speaking to Zim? I can't hear you!"

"…Real mature."

"Still can't hear youuuuuuuu!"

"Zim, you've been lied to!"

"Do the shalalalalalalala!"

"ZIM, YOUR TALLEST HAVE LIED TO YOU!"

Finally, Zim stopped his mindless rant. His mouth popping open in a little 'o' of surprise, he turned his head to horrid fluff thing. "How…how dare you…my Tallest….they have the upmost respect for me! They have been nothing but good to me! It's one thing to insult the great Zim with your words, but no one disses my Tallest! Not even Zim! If I were to say something offensive about my great leaders right now, Zim would slit Zim's throat!"

The Obiwan-Kanobe bear shook his fluffy head. "Zim, they care nothing for you…..they only see you as a jest. A palace fool, if you will. They only keep you alive to laugh at you."

Zim shook his head in disbelief. No….this was not true. His Tallest care-er, respected him! Zim wasn't looking for their affections. Irkens had no capability of feeling such useless emotions. But he had their respect, certainly! He was one of their most prized invaders!

"And who are you to say such things?" the small alien questioned.

"Because I am angel sent from Heaven above to guide you through your life quest," the bear told him, striking a pose as a heavenly light shone upon him.

Zim's eyes widened. "Wow…really?"

"No." The light shut off. "But I wish I was. I'm actually your subconscious, speaking to you through your dreams."

"Oh, so this IS a dream….wait, why are you in the form of a teddy bear?"

"'Cause it's funny."

"…..Ah."

"Zim, there are only two people who truly care about you in this world."

Zim blinked. "Excuse me, didn't you just say you were part of me? If you are really part of me then you should be showering me with the praise of me in….me…." He paused to think about his words.

"Aren't you going to ask who they are?"

"Who?"

"The people who care about you!"

Zim huffed. "Ridiculous! No one cares for Zim! And Zim cares for no one!"

Teddy bear rolled his eyes. "Well, the first one is obviously GIR-"

"Don't even go there," Zim hissed. "That little Macadamia nut is PROGRAMMED to like me!"

"Yes, normal SIR units usually have no choice in the matter, but GIR is a defect. His affections for you are by his own free will."

Zim scowled. "My SIR unit is not a defect! He is-"

"I'm part of you! What I know, YOU secretly know! So quit denying everything I say! It's getting on my nerves!"

Zim pouted. "Fine….but who's the other one?"

The bear smirked. "Oh…..I think you can figure it out."

Zim began to ponder.

"It's a girl…"

Still pondering…

"She has a weird obsession with piggies…"

Pondering….

"….Her name rhymes with 'taz', c'mon! I can't make this any easier!"

"….. ?"

"GAZ YOU IDIOT!" teddy-conscience bellowed. "GAZ CARES ABOUT YOU!"

Zim took a few steps back, startled by this news. "What…Gaz-human can CARE?"

"She admitted she cared for your SIR unit, did she not?"

"Well yeah…but I just thought she was trying to make me mad! No! You are wrong! The Dib-sister has no emotions!"

"Then why did she patch you up after the Vesen attacked?"

"I saved her life! She owed me!" Zim sputtered.

"She saved your life too, so do you owe her?"

"She…no! She didn't SAVE me! She AIDED me! And I paid her back by giving her her job back!" Zim said, giving a short nod of the head.

"Zim, she saved you because she's staring to warm up to you! Zim, this MEANS something! It's not exactly easy to get on her good side!"

Zim began to sputter. "But…what….she's…you're….YOU ARE PART OF ZIM! SHOULD YOU NOT BE AGREEING WITH ME?"

"Zim, I have two identities! One of them is being the part of you that actually has a brain! Get over it! You and Gaz are starting to LIKE one another!"

Zim quickly shook his head. "No! I refuse to listen to this nonsense! We may have had a rather tender moment last night, but it was merely a momentary weakness! I'm sure if you asked the human girl, she would give you the same answer! We are PARTNERS! Nothing more! As if I could ever 'like' her! As if the fact alone that she's a human wasn't enough to repel me, she is also the sister-unit of the horrible Dib! I can personally guarantee you, fluffy, adorable version of myself, that she and I will NEVER be friends!" Taking a deep breath, he sat down on the ground, his 'nose' stuck up in the air.

Teddy opened his mouth to speak. "Ah-"

"NEEEVAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"But-"

"Never."

"Well….you suck."

"Whatever. I'm rubber, you're glue! Whatever you say sticks back to you!" Zim sang.

"…But I thought YOU were the one indulging himself in paste? And how can your PAK work properly if you are made out of rubber? And how is it possible to bounce off-"

"YOU ARE MAKING THIS LESS OF A WITTY COMEBACK!"

"Yes, Irk forbid if I did that…"

Zim rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well…..say, what's your other identity?"

The bear glared. "I am also…..YOUR FATHER!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Zim…wake up! Zim! C'mon, recharge time long over! ZIM!"

Zim sprang forward from his spot on the couch. "I WILL NOT JOIN THE FLUFFY SIDE!"

"….You know, even THIS universe has a limit on the randomness…."

Zim ignored his sarcastic computer. Instead, he checked his surroundings with wide eyes. He was home! It really HAD been a dream! A horrible dream at that. He now detested fluffed toy bears…..and for some strange reason, 1970's space movies.

"Had a bad dream there, Sir?" Computer chuckled.

Zim took a deep breath. "Oh Auntie Computer! There's no place like home!"

"….What the Irk are you talking about?"

Zim shook his head. "Sorry, still a little tired!" Scratching his head, his eyes slowly looked up at the clock above his TV. He gasped. "Computer! I am late for skool! Why didn't you wake me up?"

"….Didn't I JUST do that?"

"Where is Gaz-human?" Zim asked while adjusting his wig.

"Kitchen."

"What is she doing?"

"Reading."

"Why is she reading?"

"She finished breakfast."

"When did she wake up?"

"Two hours ago. And please, don't bother asking me 'who'."

Zim grumbled while placing his contacts in. "Gaz-human!" he called.

"I'm in the kitchen." He heard.

"I know, come! We are late for skool!"

"I'm reading."

"I know, but we missed the bus! We will have to walk!"

"But I just finished breakfast."

"I know. Why didn't you wake me up? We are going to get the detention if we do not hurry!"

"I woke up two hours ago."

"I KNOW! GAZ-HUMAN! PUT YOUR GAMESLAVE HANDBOOK DOWN NOW! WE ARE LATE!"

"I'm not reading that."

"I KNO- Wait, say what?" Suddenly, getting to skool wasn't so important. What could that human girl possible be reading if it had nothing to do with her beloved gaming device? Scratching his brow, he entered the kitchen to see the human he hated the least buried deep within a book.

Zim's eyes widened. The book was HUGE! When did his partner even receive a book of such epic proportions? "What IS that? A list of all the innocent beings you've doomed?"

Gaz smirked. "Oh, so now you think humans are innocent?" She gave a soft chuckle at the look on his face. "I would think you of all people should know what book this is, Zim. Aren't you the one who gave me it?" She held the book up for him to see.

Zim's mouth nearly dropped. On the cover read Irken's Glorious History. Read or Perish. He rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't still sleeping. He wasn't. He was living something he thought would never actually happen…..well, not without a whip and some tacks anyway…

"Is that that the book Zim gave you?" he finally found his voice.

"Yah…"

"Why…why are you reading it?' Zim asked.

"Didn't you tell me to?" the young girl asked slowly. She mentally smirked. She obviously knew why he looked so shocked. This was the first time she had shown the Irken any sign that she cared about the mission. But she was having fun messing with him. He was actually kind of…cute when he was confused.

And right now, he was absolutely adorable. "Wha-when has that meant anything to you?" Zim screeched.

Gaz giggled softly, much to the surprise of her partner. "Like I said before Zim, I'm not out to get you killed. I'm just as serious about this as you are, and if this junk is really going to help me out, then I guess it's worth a glance over. "

Zim frowned a bit. Although satisfied with the girl's answer, there were still a few things that didn't add up. Why was she only now realizing the wisdom of his words? Could it be….could she…?

"Is that….all?" he asked rather hesitantly.

Gaz slowly closed her book and cleared her throat. "…Well, it's not like I want you killed…I…don't want you to get in trouble with your tall guys….that would…..suck."

Oh sweet Irk…the fluffy spoke the truth! Zim realized. The Gaz-girl was starting to develop affections for him! But that's not what disgusted him. What disgusted him was the fact that he didn't care! He should be repulsed by the human's weakness…but he wasn't. This angered the Irken. She was nothing more than a mere human! How dare she like him! How dare she feel anything towards him other than hatred and respect? What did she hope to gain?

"Oh, real funny human girl! Har har har. Who knew you were such a card?" Zim said snottily.

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Zim showed off his zipper-like teeth in a smug grin. "You acting as if you really care about me, HA! I laugh cruelly at this! Neither of us have the capability of feeling such trivial emotions! It just isn't in our DNA!"

Gaz frowned. "What….are you talking about?"

"Will you deny it? You've fooled yourself into believing that there's some sort of….pinkness between us!"

"'Pinkness?' Zim, I think you mean 'affections'."

"DO NOT TELL ZIM WHAT HE MEANS! YOU KNOW NOT HIS WORDS!" Zim bellowed, hating that she had corrected him once again.

Gaz was getting angrier by the minute. "Gah, you are such an idiot.'

Zim copied her emotion. "Better than you, human filth!"

The small girl became flushed in the face. "What about what happened last night? I thought that after the encounter with the Vesen-"

"What? That we would become friends?" He didn't care if he sounded cruel. He was going to make sure this human knew her place. "Flashing news demon girl: Just because you were 'kind' enough to patch me up, doesn't change the fact that you're a human! And don't think even for a second that just because I came to your aid that I give a bejf about you! And if you're going to cry, please do it over my plants, CUZ they need waterin'!"

Zim took a sharp inhale after letting loose his feelings in a huge torrent. He looked over towards his partner, who hadn't said a word. This confused the Irken. Didn't she have anything to say? Did she even hear him?

"Gaz-human?"

Nothing.

"You're not responding. Is this a good thing? Did Zim win?"

Finally, the girl spoke. "We need to get to skool. Let's go." Without another word, the small girl grabbed her backpack and made her way to the front door.

Zim didn't follow. Something didn't feel right. For the first time since he met her, Zim had actually won an argument against the purple-haired girl. So where was his rush of victory? Where was his swelling pride? Why did he just feel like he done something….wrong?

"Uh, Gaz-human? Isn't this the part where you cause me pain? I've been bracing myself for the past three minutes!"

Gaz paused on her trip to the door. Without turning to face him, she said, "You know Zim, for a second there, I thought I actually saw something in you."

Zim smiled at this. "Really? You think you have x-ray vision or something? Because that could be useful!"

Gaz turned her head towards the Irken and glared. "But you really are nothing but a psychotic, unhealthy, unstable, idiot."

The green man's smile disappeared. "Hey! Zim is no idiot!"

Gaz shook her head. "I'm going to skool. Come with me or not, I don't care. Just stay out of my way." She then opened the door and made her way outside.

"BYE GAZZY!" GIR shouted to his mistress. "GETZ ME MY BISCUITS!"

"NO!" Gaz fumed.

GIR began to whimper. "But….my biscuits!"

"Get your own stupid biscuits!" she shouted as she finally left the front porch.

GIR stared blankly at the front door. "What?"

Behind the odd bot, Zim had begun fuming himself. What went wrong? He had told her her place, and she had left hating him again. He got what he wanted! What was the big deal? Why did he feel like something had gone horrible wrong?

"Human girl! Wait for Zim!"

He didn't know what these new feelings of doubt meant. But he knew he would never give the Dib-sister a minute of peace until he found out!

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!

After Gaz had managed to lose her partner in the park, she found herself making her way towards her locker. She was mentally kicking herself the entire way there.

How could I have been so stupid? How could I have thought that we were actually becoming- Gaz shook her head in anger. She couldn't believe it. She just couldn't believe it. For once in her entire life, she thought she actually had a friend. She thought he had begun overlooking the fact that she was a human. She thought that's why he had saved her.

But no. It had all been in her head.

Stupid!

She threw her tiny fist into her locker, causing it to dent. How dense am I? How could I actually let myself…not hate that little twerp? I've never not hated someone before! How dare he throw it in my face!

Her rage started to peak as she angrily threw her locker door open. She muttered curse after curse towards herself for letting herself get attached. When would she learn?

Well, it's all over now. I hate him. If I even so much as hear his name again I will-

"Soo….Zim?"

….Someone's getting doomed. Or at least cut.

The girl turned her head to the side and grimaced. Four lockers down stood three barbies chatting it up. You know the ones. Those snotty girls who put on their make-up in class, stop in front of you to make-out with their boyfriends, constantly chew their gum with a sneer, and always hold their arms up as if they were holding a purse.

How Gaz loathed them.

Of course, if you didn't know that, then you're not a true Gaz fan. Leave my presence immediately if so.

The first Barbie stuck out her tongue. "Like ick! I wouldn't be caught dead kissing him! He's so, like, green!"

"Racist…" Gaz couldn't help but mutter into her locker. She didn't look at them. It's not like they had her attention.

Barbie number two snickered. "Ha! No one would kiss that freak! Not even that creepy Gaz girl!"

Now they had her attention.

Barbie #1's mouth dropped open, almost spilling her gum. "Gaz? You mean that ghost girl? I hear she's actually some walking corpse!"

I wish, Gaz thought to herself. Then she could remove her body parts. That would be cool.

Barbie #2 waved her hand in a typical fashion. You know the one. "I hear she actually talks to demons!"

Gaz's eye twitched. How did that mannequin know about Steppy?

Barbie #3 pretended to gasp. "That's nothing! I hear she's related to Dib!"

#1 placed a hand to her mouth. "Oh no, now that's a lie!"

#2 nodded. "Yeah, if I were Dib's sister I would've killed myself by now."

#3 pretended to faint. "If I was related to either of them I would've killed myself by now!"

As the three burst into giggles, Gaz was glaring them down. Oh, how she hated barbies. She remembered making them human sacrifices to flesh-eating dolls when she was little. (Rest assure, the actual toy barbies) She was also frustrated to discover that people were once again placing her and Zim in a romantic genre. Whatever. It's not like she cared what they thought….in fact….she decided to go over there and give them something to gossip about, just to prove how indifferent she was.

She casually made her way towards the trio and said, "Hi girls."

The identical females looked at her with wide, fearful eyes. They obviously were not expecting he presence. Good.

#1 whispered to one of her companions, "Barbie #2, it's talking to us!"

#2 turned her back to the goth."Don't make eye contact!"

"What are you talking about?" #3 whispered. "She doesn't have any eyes!"

Gaz rolled said eyes before saying, "I couldn't help but overhear you girls talking about my….ugh, boyfriend."

Barbie #3 exchanged glances with her friends. "Um…your boyfriend?"

#1 gasped. "You're dating Dib?"

Gaz stared at her. "Don't go to sleep tonight. I'm warning you. No, I was actually talking about Zim."

#1 clutched onto one of her friend's arms. "ZIM? You're actually dating Zim?"

Gaz gave them a fake smile. "Of course. We've been together since the dawn of time."

#2 raised an eyebrow. "Really? That long?"

The small girl nodded." That's right. Five years ago as of today."

"But why? Even you can't be that desperate!"

The small girl shrugged. "Why not? I'm….eh, head over heels for that little…guy." Oh gag. If only the little green idiot had heard me there.

Barbie #2 visibly paled. "Disgusting! What could possibly be appealing about that piece of spinach?"

Gaz had to take a moment to think. What was she supposed to say? Zim didn't have any appealing qualities. She couldn't even begin to think up anything to give these girls. He was nothing but a nuisance through and through.

….Well…there was that one thing…

"Well…he makes me laugh. Not many people can do that. It's like every word that comes out of his mouth is so ridiculous, that it's endearing. He's actually kind of…cute."

The three barbies looked at the smaller girl in silence and wonder, but the truth was, Gaz was no longer speaking to them. She was going over her own personal review of the alien.

"And yeah, his voice is incredibly confusing in regards to his gender, but there's something oddly adorable about it. And despite popular belief, he's actually very smart. If he didn't have such an ego, he could've killed us all years ago!" Gaz paused to let a small smile creep across her face. "He's just…different. He's not like other humans…he plans, he creates, he actually TRIES to be difference…granted, he drives me insane, but at the same time, he kinda grows on you…." She sighed softly to herself after finally letting her emotions out for a few seconds. It was kind of hard keeping her wall up all the time, especially while she was experiencing these brand new feelings. She cleared her throat and suddenly remembered she was in the middle of being social. "So…uh…what were we talking about?"

RIIIIIIINNNGG!

Gaz breathed a sigh of relief. Her archenemy, Dr. Earbust, had actually helped her today. She turned towards the three girls. "Never mind. This conversation never happened." She left, grumbling to herself as she made her way to class. She wanted to show she was indifferent to gossip by giving them plenty of fuel….but somehow the three demons had gained control of her mind and made her actually praise her green partner! They would pay for their brainwash-ery!

As Gaz left, the three barbies looked to one another in shock and astoundment.

"Wow…that was really kind of touching!" #1 whispered.

Barbie #2 nodded in agreement. "Who knew the dead girl actually had feelings?"

Barbie #3 gazed in the direction Gaz had left. "Yeah…..I think I'll actually stop cheating on my boyfriend."

"Gaz-human! Gaz-girl! Reveal you presence to me at once!"

To say Zim was angry would be an understatement. The human female had already confused him enough by planting strange feelings of guilt into his PAK, but now she refused to even stop and talk to him about it!

"Stupid human female…." Zim grumbled while pushing the button on the water fountain. Nope, she wasn't there. "Making me chase her around like GIR does with….everything!" He quickly tore open a random kid's locker to see if she was hiding in there. Nope.

"I mean, how did she even dodge me in that park? She went behind a tree, and then, gone! Grr, she is actually taking advantage of the fact that my leg is currently out of commission! That's just sick! I'd be proud if it wasn't me she was ignoring!" Sharply, he stuck his head inside the girl's bathroom and shouted, "HEY LADIES! IS THE GAZ-HUMAN IN THERE?"

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Wha-? No, no, no, no, no, no! Broken leg! BROKEN LEG! AHHHHHH!"

CRASH!

Definitely not in there.

The poor, beaten Irken slowly crawled out of the torture chamber. He struggled to get back on his feet, whimpering the entire time. "Uh….Why are all Earth females so aggressive? And…touchy?"

"ZIM!"

The Irken quickly straightened out his posture at the sound of a familiar voice. His eyes squinted as he turned his sharply to face his foe. "Dib-beast..."

[Cue The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly theme.]

Both enemies glared each other down. Dib sneered at the green menace across from him. Like a boss. "Zim…we meet again."

Zim nodded, all while squinting at his enemy with…malice, I guess. Well, everyone knows squinting at your enemy automatically makes you look cool, so… "Yes, just like we do every other day for the past four years. Why now do you choose to make such a dramatic entrance?"

Dib gave him a smug smirk. "I watched a lot of James Bond last night."

"You saw James bond with what?"

Dib quickly waved a dismissive hand. "Never mind! Also I, the amazingly amazing Dib, have a brand new machine that will help me finally rid this planet of your existence!"

Now usually Zim would freak out if such a threat was given to him, however after four years of fighting with Dib and four years of his so called 'brilliant' inventions…well, let's just say the Irken was starting to detect a pattern.

"Oh really? Huh, I've never heard that one before."

Dib instantly lost his cool composure. "Okay. Maybe I've used this line-"

"416 times? I counted."

"-A few times before."

"416 times."

Dib frowned at him. "BUT this is something even you've never thought of creating! But I did! And since I thought and created if first, I'll be the one to unleash-"

"Your father-unit made it didn't he?" Zim asked, knowing by now who the real genius in the Membrane family was.

"No!" Dib pouted.

Zim smirked. "Yes. Daddy's boy."

"Well, you just better start saying your prayers alien scum!"

Zim stared at him for a minute before an evil smirk spread across his lips. He knew how to put the Dib-beast in his place. It was genius. It was evil. And frankly, later he was going to cause bodily harm to himself for not thinking about it earlier.

"Well….you won't be able to hurt me without hurting your beloved sister-unit. So I'd think carefully about you next move."

Dib's mouth dropped open in shock. Gaz? His baby sister who was supposed to be in her room throwing a tantrum? "G-Gaz? What have you done with her you sick fiend?"

Zim only smiled at him. "I don't know Dib-monster. What do you think Zim has done with her?"

The human boy stared at him in horror. "I think you have her strapped her down to a table, where you not only experiment on her delicate form, but dine on her flesh to satisfy your hunger for the death of my race, while drinking her blood to satisfy your thirst. Then you peel her hair off strand by strand-"

"For Irk's sake Dib-stink! I'm an invader, not a barbarian!" ZIm screeched. Seriously, what did this boy take him for? He was evil, but he wasn't sick!

"There's a difference?" Dib chided.

Zim rolled his fake eyes. "Whatever. Zim does not fear your silly human machine. Use it if you must, but just remember that your sister-unit will be getting involved!" he said without lying.

Dib scowled at him. "You keep your filthy claws off her!"

"Don't tell Zim what to do! For Zim is THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS!"

"OH YEAH, WELL-wait, what?"

Zim blinked. "What?"

Dib examined his surroundings before saying, "What the heck? Did you just say you're the 'Prince of all Saiyans'? I thought I heard you call your race 'Irkens' once?"

The green boy looked just as confused as the human boy. "I…don't know what that was….it's like I was being channeled by an anime character with similar personality traits as mine."

"How do you know what anime is?"

"What's anime?"

"….."

"….."

"Yeah well…we're late to class."

"Yeah….yeah, we are."

"See you later?"

"Yeah, bye…..wait, what about Gaz?" Dib called, but the green boy had already left for class. The young boy ground his teeth together.

"Curses! Foiled again!" He blinked as he felt a paper ball bop him on his spectacles. Grinning, he shouted over his shoulder, "Ha! I'm wearing glasses! That didn't hurt a bit!"

BAM!

His moment of triumph was rewarded by a huge bowling ball smashing against his face, crushing his once protective glasses.

"Mother…is that you?"

Gaz-human, I understand you have grown rather fond of me, but-

Nope.

It's not like I can't stand your presence, you're actually quiet-

Nope.

Look. This relationship is supposed to be strictly professional. I agreed to share my advantages with you, I agreed to let you move in with me, but I never agreed to be your-

Nope.

Me Irken. You human. No work.

Zim grumbled to himself as he scratched out his latest reasoning. As soon as he had left the Dib-monster, the green Irken had made his way towards his desk and began coming up ways to explain to his Earth partner why he could never see her as more than a partner.

Which was turning out to be a lot easier said than done.

Zim growled as he ripped his paper into a bunch of tiny pieces. Why couldn't he do to Gaz what he did to Keef when HE tried to pursue a friendship with him? The small alien clenched his tiny fists in frustration, but quickly shook off the idea. Gaz was too smart to fall for his inventions and half the time he wasn't so sure the Earth girl even had eyes.

Plus, something just seemed…wrong about forcing her to avoid him.

The human girl trusted him, and unlike his situation with Keef, the idea of befriending the small girl actually wasn't so repulsive. They had a lot in common, and he rather….enjoyed the adventures they had shared for the past few days. Being her the Earth girl's friend….actually wouldn't be so terrible.

But he had his pride. He was an Irken, and therefore her superior. What would the Tallest think if they saw him affiliating with an Earthling in such a friendly manner? He'd be the laughing stock of the century! He was an Irken! He was her superior in every way! Where did she get the gall to think she was worthy enough to befriend the almighty-

"Zim! Stop thinking up ways to make up with your girlfriend! We're discussing how people who think giving birth is a 'beautiful process' are complete idiots! Ms. Bitters scowled at her green student.

Zim rolled his eyes at the woman's mind reading. It got annoying after a while. "Unless you wish to teach me a way to stop the human birthing process all together, I don't want to know anything about it!"

That's when a random boy with dark, green hair gasped and leaned in closer to Zim. 'Wait….so you actually have a girlfriend?"

Zim frowned. He had no idea what a 'girlfriend' was, but he had been hearing the last part of that word quiet a lot lately. "Well, she's certainly not my friend!"

That was all the random kid needed. In another instant, he stood up and screamed to his fellow classmates, "HEY WORLD! ZIM HAS A GIRLFRIEND!"

The entire class exchanged a look before exclaiming in unison, "GOSSIP!" Everyone then crowded around the boy they always mocked and began begging for the deets:

"What's she like?"

"What does she look like?"

"Is she hot?"

"How old is she?"

"Is she hot?"

"Quantos se' anos?"

"Hot she is?"

Zim certainly did not like all the attention he was getting, but he was afraid if he didn't answer them, they would think something was wrong with him. He had no idea why they were all so curious about Gaz all of a sudden, but if it meant they would leave him alone…

"She's grumpy. She has purple hair and pale skin. Her skin gets hot when she's angry, if that's what you mean. She's fourteen Earth years. Her skin gets hot when she's angry, if that's what you mean. I don't know what the Irk you just said. Hot her skin gets when angry, if mean you."

"SILENCE!" Ms. Bitters screamed. "BY THE POWER OF THE UNDERWORLD STOOOP!"

Everyone quickly quieted down after that. They didn't need Ms. Bitters opening the gates of Hell. Again. Joey's parents were still in mourning.

"Now class, for some strange reason-"

BANG!

Ms. Bitters growled at having been interrupted once again. And seeing that it was Dib who had thrown the door open didn't make her feel any better.

"Sorry I'm late Ms. Bitters!" Dib exclaimed, holding an ice pack to his swollen eye. "Someone threw a heavy ball at my face and I had to be rushed over to the nurses' office!" he said, shooting a glare at Zim.

Zim casually looked behind his shoulder at the classmates behind him. "Who threw the ball at the Dib-stink? I need to send you a gift basket!"

"Ms. Bitters!" Dib whined.

"Dib, on the way here, I heard a boy got ran over by a car. I actually got down on my knees and prayed it was you. Sit down before I start crying."

Dib didn't oblige. Instead he looked at the teacher that he had for the past few years. It was amazing how this lady managed to teach every class he was in since he was ten. He would say she was stalking him, but he couldn't figure out the motivation.

"…Ms. Bitters? How much longer do you think you'll be alive?"

"Until the last rose in our town had died, Dib."

"But our town doesn't have any roses."

"I know. NOW SIT DOWN!" Once he finally obliged, the deranged teacher turned back to her class. "Now as I was saying before Dib decided to be a jerk, for some strange reason this class is going to see the musical, Wicked."

"The one with the cow?" random boy whined.

"No, that one was canceled to its copyright of Home on the Range. This is the one with the witch!"

Everyone burst out into cheers, whoops, and hollers. Everyone but Zim and Dib.

"Man, I hate that show!" Dib whined, pounding his fist into his desk. "Everyone knows you can't kill a witch with water you have to burn her at the stake!"

Zim scowled at his enemy. "Well, if the Dib-stink hates it, then I LOVE it!"

Dib was quick to pounce. "Please Zim! You expect me to believe that you've actually seen a musical?"

Zim's scowl turned into a glare. "What are you implying Dib-monster? That Zim is not good enough to see one of your Earthly musicaaaaals? Well, I'll have you know that 'Wicked' is one of my absolute favorite musicals!"

"Oh yeah?" Dib smiled. "What's your favorite part?"

Zim's eyes went wide before he gulped. He chuckled nervously as he examined his surroundings. "Uh…the part….where the guy…..discovers he's wicked?"

"Ha!" Dib laughed. "The main character is a girl!"

Zim nervously noticed that the class was watching him. "Yes, but in my eyes….she's just as good as any man!"

All the girls and the random boy 'awwwed' at his sensitivity.

Dib rolled his eyes. "Oh whatever! Who's your favorite character?"

Zim blinked. "Uh….the wicked one?"

"There's like four wicked characters!"

"Oh….I can't choose between them! They're all so deliciously evil!"

"ENOUGH!" Ms. Bitters screeched. "Although I see nothing educational about a witch singing about her tragic life, the principle has decided it was 'too good' of an opportunity to pass."

Zim nodded. I shall go this 'musical' and show the Dib-stink that I am worthy enough to view it! Perhaps it has some secret Earth info. I'm not sure what a witch is, but the information that this 'Wicked' will provide may be of great use to-wait, this skool has a principle?

Unfortunately, I had to cut this chapter in two. Yeah, it was actually going to be longer! Why am I making Zim go see Wicked? Because I think it would be a funny experience! Sorry you guys waited all this time for an update, and then I took back Zim and Gaz's friendship status. But you guys didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you? Don't worry! It'll come back with a vengeance!

I'm also aware that it may seem that I am straying away from the plot, but there will actually be things in the next chapter that will be highly relevant! Just you wait!

All right, see you guys next time!