OMG, fall has finally arrived in Texas, at least the gulf part, don't know how the border's doing, but it is great here (the universe, she is good)!! I'm so excited like you have no idea. I woke up this morning, dragged my self to school, went to my morning class and then to chemistry. This is how fast the weather changes here, we got out for a break at 10:30 and it was about 85 or something because I was regretting wearing my jacket, I remember and then we go out again for another break at 11:00, and it is nice and chilly, we live by the gulf so 60 is a major difference than the usual 80, 90 weather (TEXAS SHEESH) anyway the weather made me so happy I had a good day. i turned in my current events talked to the cute motorcycle guy, raced another guy home and won! (yes my little truck finally won a race mainly because I kind of blocked him in with another car lol he should have never challenged me!!) and i came home singing tom petty and my parents thought my fever had reached a new high . but no it was just the weather was so marvelous If I wasn't sick, then I would be out there picking up the pecans that are finally falling off the trees with the winds coming and stuff, and this year we have big pecans, I was picking some up on my way from my car and would have stayed out there if my mom hadn't yelled at me to come inside!!! (just so you know I decided to go to school she didn't force cus in college absences mean a lot more than in high school [I'm in collegiate high school) Ohh I love fall, not winter I'm dreading winter, but fall is the best!!! any way this isn't a blog what am I doing get on with the story.

Disclaimer: you know the drill. i own nothing.

For the next few days, I was a ghost. I sat in my room and would stare off into space, trying to avoid what was going on in the present. Demetrius tried coming in and talking to me, tried to make me feel better, but I would ignore his efforts and him, and he would walk out angry. I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't talk, I didn't even glance at my journal, and I burned the copy of the book he had published that he had placed on my table. He was getting more and more annoyed with me and my antics, but I could care less, and since last night's episode, he backed off a little.

He had barged into my room, while I was sitting in a chair gazing out the window, and carried me to the kitchen. He threw me into a chair, and tossed a plate of food in front of my face. He sat across the table from me, his chin resting on his hands, as he waited for me to eat what was on the table. I'm not sure how we long we sat there; he staring at me, me staring at the food. I felt the table shake and the plate rattle, as his hand came down on the table. I looked up to see a dangerous glint in his eyes, and he rose from his chair, steadying himself with the table that was starting to bow to his strength.

"I should have never let this get so far." He breathed out. The plate flew off the table and hit the ground, shattering into many pieces and the food flying all over the floor before I knew it. "I don't know what to do with you." He yelled at me, as I felt his cool body right beside my chair I closed my eyes and agreed with him, I didn't know what to do with myself. I had a good life; I had a set life before Jacob came in and had to ruin it all. Now, I couldn't go back to what I had known, I had to go forward now and live with the mess he had made. I felt a cool breeze fly by, and I opened my eyes to see that I was alone now. I sat there for awhile, staring at the place the food had occupied, realizing that it had been metaphorical. I had denied the food and thus Demetrius. I stood up from my chair and walked back up to my room.

He hadn't come to my room all day. I sat there gazing out my window, into the woods that had disrupted my previously almost perfect world; I weighed my options to what I could do now. I could ask Demetrius to send me back to the home or to a factory; I wasn't the girl he had brought home with him from the beginning. He deserved someone that wanted him completely and wholly, and who didn't mope around still hung up on some guy that, quite frankly, was a jerk, and had used me. Or my other option was try to pick up the pieces and become that person I use to be, to become Charla again. I stared over at my journal that was the portal to that old alter ego of mine. Could I be her again? After how much I had enjoyed being me for once, the love I had felt for being just Joni, could I step into Charla's shoes again? Hadn't Joni caused all these problems? She got me into this mess by running around with Jacob; believing all his lies over Demetrius, who truly loved me. I reached over, and picked up my journal to begin writing again.

I walked over to Demetrius' study and opened the door and walked in. Demetrius looked up from his sitting chair where he was sitting and gazing into the small fire that was dancing in the fireplace. I held up my hand to stop what ever question that was forming on his lips, and walked over to place my journal on the table beside him that he had replaced the night he had confronted me. He looked up questioningly at me, but I just smiled and walked out, closing the door behind me. I went into my room and sat down, waiting for him to come in and talk to me when he was done. I knew it would just be a few minutes, but I still had some time to sit and think some things through. I sat down and tapped my pencil on my desk. I felt a little better from writing, and letting everything out. And when I say everything, I meant everything. I wrote everything that had happened, not wanting to leave anything out. I wanted a clean start, and wanted Demetrius know exactly what had happened. The feelings that had erupted in me from the first startling meeting with Jacob to the kiss that had altered my entire world and swept me off my feet to the fun, loving, and accepting atmosphere at the resistance camp. I put in the guilt that I had felt from all my lying and sneaking around, and a formal apology at the end for being so ungrateful and undeserving of Demetrius' good will.

I sighed, so I was being selfish and saving my hide. I still wanted Jacob, no matter what he had done to me; something had felt so right being with him, like being whole for the first time. But I needed to see what was good for me and that was Demetrius. He cared for me more, could offer me more, and was just the better choice all around, and I knew fifty, one hundred, two thousand years, or however long we lived, he would still love me unconditionally. He also never pretended to care for me to see how much he could get out of me. And Demetrius could be right, fifty years from now I would probably forget about all this, though I doubted that, I needed to look on the bright side.

A cool breeze blew into my room, and I felt cold lips at my neck kissing me slightly. I smiled and turned to look at him.

"So?" I asked hoping that I was forgiven.

"Very nice, some of your best work." He said smiling and looking me in the eyes.

"So, I'm forgiven?"

"Darling, you were never in real trouble." I wanted to ask what the table breaking, paper throwing, plate shattering was all about, but I let it slide, we were finally getting back on track to what we were.

"And what did you think of the ending," I joked with him for the true ending had yet to be written and was proving to be a great work in the making.

"Marvelous. I especially enjoyed the part about the dashing vampire that gets the girl in the end and they live happily ever after, leaving the werewolf in their dust," he laughed and spun me around my chair. I laughed with him glad that we could finally be on good terms again. He was my best friend; I was happy when he was happy. He stopped the chair and looked me deep in the eyes before he bent down to place his cold lips on mine. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his cold neck, holding him closer to me. This was where I was meant to be. I didn't need Jacob, no matter how much my heart was crying for him. Pretty soon, I would be asking," Jacob, who?"