A/N Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. Erm this one should probably come with a smut warning. So here it is...Warning! Smut!
Sorry...
The evening passes as evenings do, in food and chat, casual and sweet, the Malik-shaped elephant that lurks in the shadows ignored for the time being. I come out of the bathroom, ready for bed, and watch Syed as he stands in the kitchen, naked but for his boxers. I stare at him, his dark eyes weary with thoughts, his soft hair falling helplessly over his face, his lithe body leaning against the fridge as he fills a glass of water. My eyes trace a path along the line of muscles in his legs, resting happily at the curve of his arse.
"You're staring at me again," he mumbles tiredly. I cross the few steps that separate us and stand behind him, pulling him back to rest against me, feeling the familiar sense of comfort fall over the both of us when our bodies embrace in this way. He's shattered, physically and emotionally, he's opened up massively to me today, probably shared more with me now than he ever has done and I know I should let him rest. But yet I know that neither my body nor my mind can possibly hope to get any peace tonight unless I ask him one more thing. So, selfish bastard that I am, I open my mouth once more.
"Sy.." I hesitate, struggling to find the right words. "How come you didn't run away after we slept together like you did after you and Malik?"
He looks confused at me. "I kind of thought I did?"
"Well you were out of the door before the condom hit the floor yeah," I say without thinking and then inwardly curse as I see him wince, "but not like that, not change your number, move to another city kind of running away. I mean, was it just because of your family being here or…" and I fail to finish my sentence, not knowing, or rather not wanting to think about what the other option would be or mean.
Syed turns around in my arms, resting his back against the fridge. "This might be the first time anyone has ever had a go at me for not running away." He reached up to me, taking my chin in his hands and looking directly into my eyes. "I couldn't run away from you. Not properly. With everyone else I satisfied some need then was petrified of ever seeing them again. With you, I was petrified of never seeing you again. The more I got from you, the more I needed, the more real it felt and the more scared I got. I think I probably told myself it was because of my family that I couldn't leave, but even then I knew that it wasn't just that. It was different with you right from the start, I thought you knew that. Everything's different with you." Syed leant up, his lips finding mine in the most tender of kisses before he whispers, low and sweet, "I could never get enough of you."
Echoes of my voice uttering the same words reverberate around the room, and it seems Syed can hear them too as we both turn our heads to the bed as if half expecting to see the ghosts of the past lying there in raptures of bliss.
"Okay," he had said. A single simple word but with it every cell in my body started to hum with excitement.
We were walking to my flat, each of us trying to present a level of studious calm to the outside world. I pretended my heart was not pounding at a frighteningly fast rate and I deliberately looked away from the shake I saw in Syed's hand as he brushed his hair out of his eyes. Never before had my flat seemed so far away from the unit, and I urged it to move nearer, fearing that if we didn't arrive soon then my feet may refuse to obey the strictures of my mind and race ahead with urgent desperation. Finally we arrived and I marvelled at the coolness in my hand as I calmly turned the key in the lock and pushed open the door. I had barely been able to glance at Syed as we walked, so as my foot slammed the door firmly shut behind us I allowed myself the briefest luxury of such a perfect sight. But there was little time for any undisturbed viewing as with the click of the door signalling our exclusion from the world, his mouth was on mine, desperate and hungry, no time or space allowed to find breath or feel anything except the wet heat of lips and tongue pulsing as they sought and fought within the suffocating confines of our conjoined mouths. His hands gripped at my t-shirt, the fabric pulled so taut within his grasp that I feared it might rip into hundreds of shreds. Our bodies slammed into the wall, tightly pressed into each other, as if we were trying to become one mass of aching, burning, desiring flesh, and for a few dizzying, brain-numbing, muscle-melting seconds I was unable to think. I simply let my body absorb the opulent pleasure of reliving and improving on our past encounter, finding an intoxication of body and soul that I had previously mocked as unfeasible and unwanted. But while he remained lost in frantic need, other thoughts forced their way into my feverish mind and I made myself reluctantly push his gorgeous needful body away from me, just the slightest, just enough to allow myself to catch a desperate breath, to hear his almost silent whispered please, and to observe with delight the way his body moved into mine, craving my heat, my touch.
"Hey, hey." I whispered, trying to calm his pleading eyes with the sound of my words, trying to smooth his anxious muscles with the feel of my hands. "There's no rush." I paused and placed a slow closed mouth kiss onto full, tender, swollen lips. "I want us to take our time." And I did. As amazing and thrilling as our first encounter had been, that desperate wanton furious fumble of hands and mouths, I wanted more. I wanted him to feel more, I wanted us to be more. His chest heaved, grabbing oxygen to fill his emptied lungs and he nodded silently. I kissed him again, slowly, letting our mouths open, our tongues explore, finding hidden weak spots, swiping over areas of delicious delight. I let my hands play with his hair as they been longing to do, satisfying their need with curls wrapped around fingers and nails scratching scalp. Minutes, or possibly hours passed before I finally allowed my mouth to move from his, but only travelling as far as the tempting display of his neck. My tongue ran over sharp pinpricks of stubble, teeth nipped at tender morsels of flesh. He gasped back a stifled cry, the knowledge of his enforced reticence serving to thrill me more and urge me on, seeking to unleash the intense ardour that I knew lay within his attempts at a restrained exterior. I reached the buttons on his shirt and let my fingers, mouth and tongue work around them, beneath them, play with them and then undo them to expose more of his splendour to my needful eyes. Every inch of skin revealed a new treasure, every bite of flesh displayed a new source of delight. I savoured the sight, filling my eyes with beauteous visions, coating my tongue with delicious flavour, charging my ears with his helpless quiet moans. I disposed of his trousers, hearing the metallic clang of the belt hitting the floor as my hands caressed the lean muscles of his legs. I dragged my tongue lazily up the inside of his thighs, feeling my desire reach new heights as I smelt his musky scent, but I ignored his plaintive wordless pleas and rose to my feet, his boxers, impossibly tight and clinging now, left untouched.
"Patience is a virtue," I teased as I returned to his waiting lips.
He gulped, swallowed hard and found his voice. "Really?" His low pitched voice found the same teasing tone, as he slipped his unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders then let his fingers seize the initiative as they edged round the bottom of my t-shirt. Tentatively at first, then gaining boldness with every move, his fingers removed my clothes and wandered on a tender exploration of my willing body. I forced myself to remain still, to submit to his desiring touch. I shivered as his fingertips drew feather-light arcs around my stomach, trembled as his palms rubbed warmth into my tensed thighs and my legs nearly buckled beneath me when the tip of his tongue licked tantalisingly around my nipple. His every action was so slow, so deliberate and so achingly tender that I felt my entire body burn with desperate desire, my composure rapidly collapse and my veins rush with the sudden flood of molten lust.
I couldn't take it anymore. His touch was sending me insane. I grabbed Syed and pulled him into my embrace, kissing him hungrily, wantonly, pushing him back towards the bed, the two of us stumbling as we fell, hands frantically moving from hair to neck, to arms, to arse, trying to grasp at every available inch of skin before collapsing onto the bed, our bodies finding a perfect fit as if they had been waiting for this all their lives.
"Patience is a virtue?" Syed gasped as I ran kisses along his neck, over his Adam's apple, sucking at the sweet taste that hovered over his collarbones.
"Virtue? So overrated," I murmured back into tender welcoming flesh as Syed's mouth sucked eagerly on my outstretched fingers, sending sparks of anticipatory delight flashing through my body and tingling at my nerves.
My wet fingers, now heavily lubricated slid downwards with my mouth on an unmistakable trail, as I sought to rid us of the one remaining piece of fabric that separated us and unceremoniously yanked off his boxers. The briefest of yelps at the rough movement of cotton over sensitised cock and I made my body cover his with apologetic fervour, tongue swopping with fingers swopping with tongue as I stroked along, over, beneath and around his tender arousal, before letting my fingers continue their path behind and my mouth nuzzle at the top of this thighs.
A sudden spurt of doubt gripped my mind and I looked back up at Syed's face.
"Sy?" I whispered and I felt him shudder at the sensation of hot breath on wet skin.
His eyes flickered open and met mine, reading the question so clearly posed within and answering with a swift nod. "Please, Christian," he confirmed, his voice hitching as he spoke and the wanton need displayed ran straight to my aching cock. I moved to prepare him slowly, one finger becoming two, three, moving, sliding, pushing, my mind begging with my pleading muscles to take their time, deepening my breathing and holding myself back despite the low half-halted moans that were emanating from Syed's mouth.
"Ready?" I asked, finally, softly into his ear, my lips tingling from the touch of his skin, tendrils of his hair tickling the end of my nose. He nodded, silently and I could see his teeth digging into his bottom lip, with nerves or desire or some mixture of the both I wondered, until I slowly edged my way into his sweet warmth and forgot to think anymore. All conscious thoughts were lost to me as all I could think of was the way his sweat-dripped locks clung damply to his trembling skin, the way his blunt nails gripped tightly into the sheets, his knuckles whitened with intensity, the way he moved around me, pressing and pushing, tightening and dragging me closer to the edge so frighteningly fast. My mind was swimming with the sound of blood rushing through my ears, blocking out all but the sound of his soft moans stifled by the flesh of his arms, the echo of his aching cries muffled by the down of the pillows and what I'm sure must have been the fragments of his desperate pleas near hidden by his clenched fists. My heart raced and pounded and any remaining specks of self-control or wish to hold myself back was drowned out with each passing moment of bliss, until I relinquished all hope, pressing my mouth harder and closer into the most tempting of golden skins and became enveloped completely by his tight heat.
"I could never get enough of you," I whisper, recklessly, wantonly, longingly, truthfully, so quietly that I would have doubted he could hear, but his body had not learnt the skills of lying or disguise, and the shake, the shudder, the gasp and the desperately silenced cry spoke honestly and truly to my fallen heart. The incredible sight, sound and feel of his release sent shockwaves through my tensed body, fireworks exploding in every cell as waves of powerful pleasure crawled over me again and again and again, sending my helpless body soaring and burning and falling, trembling and weak, back to the world.
"It was beautiful," he murmurs sweetly, "so beautiful and so bloody petrifying. I was scared after I slept with Malik so I left Leeds. I was petrified after sleeping with you and I couldn't imagine how on earth I could ever not see you every day so I became desperate, I proposed, I bloody proposed to her I was that scared. That's how much you meant to me already Christian, that I would try to ruin three people's lives just to give myself a chance of getting my heart away from you." I push his hair back from his face and run my thumb gently over his lips, feeling the ache of gestures past still haunting my mind, images of another kitchen, an engagement party in full flow behind the closed door, Syed standing before me in his finery, his eyes blazing with anger, his clothes a constant visual reminder of all that stood and yes, still threatens to stands between us; a culture, a faith, a world that I will always be excluded from. I shake my head and focus on the gentle tanned glow from Syed's naked skin now as he stands in our kitchen, preparing himself for our bed. I rest my head into his hair and close my eyes, breathing in the scent of him, listening to his hum of pleasure. "I never knew one person could make me feel like that," he continues quietly and I smile into his hair.
"Yeah, tell me about it. Making me feel like I was weak and nothing and strong and invincible all at the same time."
"Exactly." I feel his smile against my chest and my heart threatens to burst with the ache of love. "I didn't think it was right that one person could have so much power. But I got it later." He leans back again to look directly into my eyes. "You made me feel like that because I let you, because I wanted you to, and because I needed you to. It just took me months and months to realise it."
The light that shines from his eyes drags my lips back to his, kissing him slowly, longingly, kissing him for all the times I wanted to before, for all the times he needed me to, for all the times I thought we never would again. We kiss and it nearly promises to subdue my final aching fears.
Nearly.