30 days of Kylo Ren

Day 10 – With Luke

Ben always respected his uncle profoundly. When he was just a little boy, Luke was probably the best reference he had. His mother always busy with the galaxy, his father, with the Falcon and Chewie with his father. Therefore, Luke Skywalker, the last jedi, was the only one who used to spend time with Ben. He used to feel so well with his uncle, as if he could finally be himself, no restraints, no scolding for levitating things, or making some glasses blow up.

His uncle was like him. And he preferred to live near his sister to stay with Ben. He who could have the galaxy, but choose a little boy.

One night, he was putting his nephew to sleep when Ben asked him, "Why do you stay with me, uncle? With the Force you could be…let me see…anything."

Luke smiled. "That's not how the Force works, Ben. A true jedi must put the others before himself. And follow the will of the Force."

The boy seemed startled by that. "Do you think the Force wants you to be only my uncle right now?"

"Yes. Well, that's what she whispers to me. What does she whisper to you?" Luke asked amused.

Ben's eyes seemed far away from the blue bedroom. "That I have to find her."

His uncle frowned. "Who's her?"

"The little girl from my dreams. But the Force whispers another thing to me. That I have to be a jedi like you." He looked worried to his uncle. "I know! Maybe that's the way to find her. Are you going to help me, uncle? Please!"

"Ben, calm down." He chuckled. Don't let your parents or even Chewie listen to that. They will say that I've manipulated you. But if that's what you want, I can help you. The day I open my academy you're coming with me if you want."

Uncle Luke was the best! He was a hero, smart, kind, powerful…everything his parents and Chewie were, but he cared. He was the only person who always stopped to listen to Ben and try to help him with the Light and Dark side conflicts.

He tried to control his nephew's impulses to the dark and explained that the voice he heard was the Dark whispering to him just as the Light used to do with the girls. Ben believed him, but he knew it was different.

Maybe that was the reason he hated his uncle even more than he hated his parents. After fighting with Leia Organa, he came back to the Jedi Academy and talked to his new master. Then, he became Kylo Ren. However, before leaving the Academy, he had a mission: opening the gates, so the other knights could come and destroy all the work of a life. Kylo Ren overwhelmed Ben Solo that night. Drowning on his passion, pain and thirsty for power, he didn't see his uncle, but his former master, a traitor. The worst of all.

He hated him.

"BEN. Look at what you've done!" Skywalker screamed. "You've killed them, Ben! Children, your friends. You ruined everything only because you're letting yourself be seduced by him!".

"Seduced by him? What about you trying to control my powers only because you're afraid I'll be more powerful than you someday. You always tried to keep me from what I am.

"And who are you, Ben?"

"I'm your ruin, jedi. I'm Darth Vader's grandson. And my name's Kylo Ren."

Kylo didn't kill him that night. It wasn't his mission. After that, the last jedi vanished.

Snoke asked the Master of the Knights of Ren to hunt his former master. Each piece of the map was taken with blood and torture, which feed his angst and hate for Skywalker. Ren made a promise to himself: he would kill his uncle once they were reunited.

She had the map. He knew it. But he didn't want to hurt the girl. And he lost it.

Next time he heard about his uncle was through her. One moment of weakness when he relaxed his mind. "What do you want?" He asked roughly.

"Nothing. I told your uncle I wanted an intense physical training. Do you know why?"

"I don't care about your choices."

"But I'm saying it anyway. I told him I wanted to be read to kill you next time we meet."

"Haha. Very well, then. Challenge accepted." He knew that was only a mask he was wearing. He didn't want to kill her. Seven months with her on his head made him feel almost fine with this situation.

"He laughed at me."

"I told you I could teach you everything I know about the Force. If yo-"

"Shhh. I don't want to talk about that. He laughed at me because he said I'm not being trained to kill you but to bring you back."

"He said what?" And he felt his chest heavy, tears wanting to roll down his face. Come back. After everything he had done…his uncle believed he could come back.

After three months, Luke received him with a hug.

"I'm sorry, Ben. Now, I can truly understand you. I didn't know before."

He didn't return the gest. He couldn't. He had killed and destroyed everything that man had fought to build. Still he was the one apologizing.

"It took a lot of time to understand what was going on with you. But after you left I came here looking for some answers. Ahch-Too has the ruins of one of the first Jedi Temples. I traveled through the whole galaxy looking for answers. I know now. Everything.

They talked about the prophecies. The one that predicted the chosen one who would bring balance to the Force and the older one. Forgotten and discarded.

"First comes the day

Then comes the night.

After the darkness

Shines through the light.

The difference, they say,

Is only made right

By the resolving of gray

Through refined Jedi sight."

"Let's try again, Ben. Show me how you struggle with this. Being pulled by both sides must be unbearable. We'll find a halfway together. Through the Light."

"Thank you…uncle."

But Ben Solo would disappoint Luke Skywalker once again. It was difficult to stay focused with the Light when passion would devour him. Rey.

"I'm leaving." He told the old jedi master.

"Oh. May I ask you why?" His uncle asked with his usual calm.

"I can't take the Light. I know we've been trying to make it less painful, but I still feel broken inside. I…want something different from that."

"Fine. Leave. I have a mission for you. Not as your master, but as your uncle." He gave Ben a box. "Take a look. They talk about the Gray jedi. Some books, files. Not light. Not dark. Maybe this is the answer to your way. It requires some time alone to think and to become what they call Gray".

"Thank you for everything. I…You could've had rejected me. I'm sorry. I know I'm not the nephew you raised me to be. I destroyed everything you cared about. All your padawans, temples. I wish I could be the person you want me to be now. It hurts so much that I can't be it."

"I want you to find your way, Ben. But you're right. That's the second time you've disappointed me."

Ben looked to his own hands ashamed. "I'm sorry."

"The first time you didn't give me room to explain myself. I understood as I was the one asking for you control yourself constantly. I didn't tell you about Vader because I was afraid it would make you even more confused. Besides, I couldn't understand your relationship with the Force. So, I forgave you. But, now, I'm really disappointed. You're leaving her." Luke looked at his nephew mischievously.

"How do you know about her?"

"I have two eyes and I'm force sensitive. I'm not that stupid. Do you remember when you were a boy you used to dream about a girl? It's her, isn't?"

Ben became desperate. "Please, don't put her aside, uncle! She's wonderful and so devoted to your training. She's the future of your order. It was all my fault."

"I won't do anything against her path as a jedi. I fought you had more courage than that. Right now, you're really your father's son: you're leaving because you can't deal with the situation."

"It will be better for both of us."

"You've been dreaming on her for more than twenty years. Since you're five and she wasn't even born. Fight for her! Leave and come back."

Kylo Ren left the Light Side. His family. His dreams.

Ben Solo would be the man who would never leave. He would always come back.

When Rey went to meet him during his exile, she told him that her master had explained everything about his dreams. She told him she used to dream on him too. Daydreams and nightmares always with his voice saying, "I'll come back, sweetheart. I promise.".

Ben would always be thankful to his uncle. Even if he kept interrupting Ben and Rey make outs, using his Darth Vader shampoo, teaching Hannah how to play with sand or asking Ben to go and find a new padawans in the outer rim.

For the galaxy, he was Luke Skywalker, the Last Great Jedi. To Ben Solo, he was the man who never left. And he would be just like his uncle. He learned the lesson.