AN: Okay here's the next chapter of this. It took me a while to write this, as you can see considering it's been a while since I updated (in me standards, I usually update every night.) So REVIEWS would be GREATLY APPRECIATED. If you have any questions, hopefully all will be covered in the next chapter, so in order to make sure write them in your review and I'll answer you. Celeste

Chapter 10

Do you know the feeling when something happens so suddenly, so unexpected? You haven't had the opportunity to prepare for it, so when it happens you don't know what to do; you're too shocked to even think straight. You can never prepare yourself for the pain you'll feel when someone dies, but when it's your grandmothers whose been in the hospital for a while, the doctors already told you the time has come, it's less of a shock. Yeah you're still going to be surprised when you realize she's not there, but it's different. It's different for someone who was so young who died in a car accident or when it's someone who hadn't seen in a long time.

This can't be happening, this can't be happening, Marissa kept repeating to herself. It had been an hour since the police left; she was late for her date… meet… whatever with Ryan. Summer was on her way over; she was the only person she got around to call. She was just in too much shock to think of doing anything else. They wanted her to plan the funeral; she was the only person who could. Plan a funeral, plan a funeral. That's the last thing she expected to do this next week. Everything was going fine, things we working out. Summer was engaged; her mom was back in school… and now this. She wasn't sad, she wasn't crying, she was just stunned, really stunned. She assumed she'd never hear from her father again, she thought he was in jail or homeless… he probably was homeless. But planning his funeral, she had to plan the funeral of the man who used to hit her, and her mom. How was she supposed to do that?

"Coop," Summer called rushing into the apartment with Seth at her heals. Marissa didn't move from her spot on the sofa. "Oh my gosh, are you okay." Summer said hugging her tightly. Marissa nodded slightly. "Come on, let's go talk. Cohen you can leave if you want," Summer said.

"No, it's okay. I'll stay here," Seth said.

Summer smiled gratefully, "Thank you. Come on Coop."

Meanwhile Summer shut the door to her bedroom and guided Marissa to the bed. "Do you want water?" Marissa shook her head. "Want to tell me what happened?"

Marissa shrugged and started speaking quietly , "The just showed up at the door, these police officers and I thought something happened to you or my mom, but it was my dad. I was so shocked, still am. I haven't seen him in eight years Summer, can you believe that and he's dead. I just…" She broke off and when she started talking again her voice was suddenly filled with hate, which surprised Summer "They want me to plan the funeral. They said that I'm the only family he's got. Can you believe that? The only family he's got. He's not family, I haven't seen him in eight years," She repeated. "He's not family. Not even close."

"Marissa he's you're father," Summer said shocked at her outburst.

"No, no he's not. He, he…" Marissa broke off. Of all the things she told Summer about her past she never really mentioned her father. She talked about everything else other but him.

"I can't be here right now." Marissa said, "I, I…"

"You need to just relax, okay. You're still in shock and tomorrow we'll deal with everything," Summer said.

"Deal with it tomorrow, I can't I have work tomorrow."

"No, you're going to take the day off so we can deal with everything."

"I'm not taking off from work," Marissa protested stubbornly. "I don't care what happens to him, they could throw his body in the dump for all I care. I don't want to have nothing to do with this."

"Okay, I already called your mom and talked to my dad and he'll handle it. He'll handle all the arrangements. You won't have to do a thing."

"Good, good. I… I had something to do…" She was cut off by a knock on the door.

"Cohen will get it," Summer said as she saw Marissa walk towards the door…

---

"Hey, Ryan what are you doing here?" Seth asked.

"Marissa and I had plans and she's an hour late, so I just wanted to make sure she's okay. Is she here?" Ryan asked.

"Um…" Seth started hesitantly, not sure how to tell Ryan.

"What? What's going on?" Ryan asked beginning to panic. Even though he and Marissa were only friends, and he hadn't been that long, he still really cared about her.

"She's fine. It's just her dad he died and they want her to set up the funeral and make all the arrangements." Seth explained.

"How is she?" Ryan said shocked. He knew was Jimmy was like when Marissa was younger and he knew how Marissa felt towards him, but he still was her dad and no matter what the situation, loosing someone like that- it hurts, especially when you haven't seen or heard from the person in years.

"She's with Summer right now," Seth answered. "They haven't been in there that long."

"Well how did she look, was she upset, crying, what?"

"She was just sitting on the sofa staring off into space. She wasn't crying, that's for sure. You can usually tell. She didn't have that many emotions on her face. She looked numb, mostly dazed." Seth shrugged.

"Ryan," Summer said shocked as she entered the living room. "What are you doing here?"

"I ah, Marissa and I had plans… how is she?"

Summer sighed, "I really don't know when I came in she just looked really shocked and she started telling me what happened and then in the middle of the story she started freaking out and got really upset saying how she didn't have to time to deal with this and that he's not her family and she wants nothing to do with it. She's taking a shower, but she won't talk about it. I'm not surprised though, she'll talk eventually. It's just the first night and she's still confused."

Ryan nodded, "So there's no point in us staying then?"

Summer shook her head, "Not tonight. She's won't talk, like I said. You should wait until tomorrow this way she'll be less shocked. I already contacted her mom and my dad said he'd deal with the funeral."

"Okay, tell her that I'm here," Ryan said. "Just let her know I'll listen, if she want's to talk. And um…"

"Don't worry about. I'll let her know," Summer said quietly.

"Thanks."

As she watched Seth and Ryan leave Summer realized that Ryan and Marissa had something special. Sure they were, at the moment, just friends, but there was definitely something else there. And even if there wasn't Summer knew that Ryan understood Marissa in a way that she would never be able to. Because they were there for each other during there first thirteen years of there lives. And although in the long run thirteen years doesn't seem like a lot, it is. Ryan knew things about Marissa that Summer never will. He knew Jimmy Cooper; he met him and knew what he was like. And that's why Ryan was the only person who was going to be able to help Marissa out. He could relate to her. Both his parents were screw ups and left him. He knew what she was thinking and he could help her, and that's what he was going to do.

--------

The following morning Marissa woke up the scent of coffee and pancakes. Confused Marissa crawled out of bed and shuffled into the kitchen only to find Summer at the island baking.

"Hey you're up?" Summer smiled, "I made pancakes and got you a latte."

"Shouldn't you be at work?" Marissa asked.

"I decided to stay home with my best friend."

Marissa groaned, "I appreciate it Summer, but I really am fine and I don't need this."

Summer drew back a little hurt, "I know, but you're still my best friend and I want to be here right now because if it were my dad then you would be here with me."

"Yeah, but you actually have a relationship with you dad, and you would be upset about what happened," Marissa pointed out.

"You were upset last."

"Not because he's dead, because they expect me to take care of everything when I haven't seen him in ages."

"Marissa he's still you're father. You may have not seen or heard from him in years, and he may have been a complete jack ass, and treated you and your mother poorly, but sooner or later you're going to have to deal with this and I'll be here if you want me here." Summer said steadily.

"Who else would I want with me?" Marissa asked looking up.

Summer looked Marissa straight in the eye, "Ryan. You should talk to him about this, because I think that he could help. He'll understand better than I will."

"What if I don't want to talk to anyone?"

"Marissa…"

"Just leave alone, please." Marissa sighed closing her eyes.

Summer nodded, "Okay, I'm going with my dad to deal with the wake and funeral, like I said he would. You're mom will be here in about an hour and Taylor will be here tomorrow morning."

"Thanks, I appreciate it. And I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For yelling at you and for ruining your news. You should be with Seth and happy but instead you're dealing with my d… you're making funeral arrangements."

"It's okay. You're my best friend… And think about what I said, about Ryan. He told me to tell you to call if you wanted to talk about it. No pressure."

So maybe Summer was right, maybe she was upset about what happened. But she didn't want to admit that. Jimmy Cooper was no saint and Marissa tried to think about that. She really wanted to hate him. She tried to think of all the pain he caused her and her mother. She tried to think about how his alcoholism ruined there family. But, despite all the crap he pulled, there were still so many good times. Marissa was 10 when Jimmy's drinking became the problem. Before that however, Marissa was daddy's little girl. He took her to work with him, and read her bed time stories, every Friday they'd watch a movie as a family, he did so much for her. He really loved and adored her, Marissa knew that. And that's all Marissa could think about, she tried really hard to push those thoughts away and focus on the bad thing. It is ironic because usually when someone dies you try to only hold on to the good memories. But for Marissa Cooper, it was the opposite and she didn't want to admit it because she knew she'd get upset and cry. When someone cries other people ask questions. And she didn't want to talk about what happened or her feelings at least not yet.

---

"You're still worried about her?" Seth asked Ryan.

"Yeah, I am." Ryan answered, "Her dad, there relationship was complicated and she's probably confused and upset and maybe angry. I just want help her in any way I can."

"So do that," Seth said simply. "Be there for her when she wants you to, but don't pressure her to talk because she'll just end up getting upset. She'll call you if she want's to talk."

"She won't talk on her own," Ryan said. "She can be just like me. She'll shut down, and avoid talking about it, it will all just bottle up into one big thing."

"Stop about the worst scenario. Marissa will get through this. Summer believes she will. And you have to believe to. You can't act this way in front of her."

"I know, I know."

Ryan knew all about Jimmy. He knew everything Marissa did. The reason was because she told him. In fact, even though Ryan was unaware, he was the only person Marissa openly talked to about her father. Looking back now Marissa wasn't even sure why she trusted Ryan so much. She never really talked to anyone about her personal life in Chino. She wasn't even sure why she talked to Ryan about it. Sure his father was arrested and his mom was an alcoholic, but that's what a lot of peoples lives were like in Chino, so why was Ryan any different? Even though Marissa didn't know the answer yet it was because she was falling in love with him. And even as kids, there was something there. Undefined, considering at that age they didn't know what love was, but it was still there.

---

"Do you want to talk about it?" Julie asked Marissa attentively. It had been two hours since she arrived at the apartment. And Marissa was doing whatever she could to deter talking about what she feelings.

"Not really," Marissa answered truthfully. "Not much to talk about."

"Marissa its okay to be sad. He was your father and before we moved things were bad. He wasn't perfect, but before that you loved him, you had a relationship…"

"That was a long time ago," Marissa said cutting Julie off, "and I don't want to talk about it, about him or what happened in the past, the funeral. I don't want to talk about any of it," She paused. "When Summer called you, you didn't honestly get upset, did you?"

"Of course I did?"

"Why? You didn't even love, you just ended up pregnant."

"That's not true. Marissa I loved you father, I did. And I was upset and I did cry last night?"

"But why? He was horrible to you, to me."

Julie shook her head, "Yes we did have our rough times, but there were still so many wonderful memories that we shared. I never got the chance to say goodbye to him. Neither did you and that also made me upset because now you'll never be able to…"

"Stop it," Marissa said shutting her eyes. "Please just stop."

"Marissa," Summer said entering to room. "Julie hi, how are you?"

"I'll be fine. Is you're father here?"

"He had to work, but the wake will be tomorrow. We decided to do it in the two segments in one day instead of two nights. So it'll be from two to four and then again from six to eight. The funeral will be the next day at noon at St. John's cemetery. I know it's kind of quick but we figured it would be best to get this over with."

"It's a little sudden," Julie admitted, "but no one was prepared for this. Thank you for taking care of this," She smiled gratefully at Summer. "I'll have to thank you're father later."

"Anything for you and Coop," Summer answered. "Marissa how about we go see a movie to take your mind off things," Summer suggested. "I promise I won't interrogate you."

Marissa nodded relieved that she chose to see a movie. This way she wouldn't have to talk about anything. "That sounds great."

--------

It was 4:30 the next day. Summer, Neil, Seth, Julie and Marissa retreated back to Summer and Marissa's apartment after the first segment at the funeral home was over. The entire morning dragged on slowly. Marissa didn't leave her room. At the funeral home she spent the entire two hours of the wake sitting outside. She tried to enter the room, but she felt as if she couldn't move and when she saw the coffin she freaked. It may seem selfish, staying outside the entire time, but it was too much for Marissa to grasp. To see his face after all this years. She had so many questions she wanted to ask him, questions she one day planned on asking, but now she would never have that opportunity. How could she say goodbye to someone she hardly knew?

And now Marissa was in her room staring blankly at the wall, listening to the quiet murmurs coming from the living room and kitchen area.

"Hey, I bought you some comfort food," Ryan said as he opened the door slightly.

Marissa looked over at him shocked and in a way happy to see him, "Ryan, what are you

doing here?"

"What do you think I'm doing here?" He asked. "You're my friend, and friends help other friends out, right?" Marissa half smiled and nodded. "Summer told me you haven't eaten, so I decided to bring you a slice of chocolate raspberry cheesecake. If I remember correctly it was your favorite dessert."

Marissa's smile widened, "Still is. I can't believe you remember my favorite dessert."

"I remember a lot more than you think," Ryan said quietly. He took the seat next to her and handed her the plate and spoon.

"If you're going to bring up my dad, please don't," Marissa whispered.

"We don't have to talk anything you don't want to talk about."

"But…" Marissa said looking at him, because there was always a but when it came to this kind of things.

Ryan laughed slightly, "I'm here for you, if you want to talk. I'll be here no matter what."

For a moment Marissa didn't know what to say. She hadn't been able to talk to anyone about what she was feeling, not even Summer. So what was it about Ryan that made her want to open up? Maybe it was because he was the only person who could really understand her or maybe it was he was the person she was mean to be with.

Marissa abruptly shook that thought out of head and shut her eyes as she felt tears starting to from at the brim.

"Hey, it's okay," Ryan said carefully as he saw a single tear roll down her cheek. He reached up to brush the tear away with his thumb.

When Marissa opened her eyes she was looking straight into Ryan's. She bit her bottom lip and leaned in to kiss him. It was soft, just a simple brush. Ryan was surprised at first, and pulled away slightly, but Marissa pulled him back in. This time she kissed him more intensely, she opened her mouth to his, moving her tongue into his mouth. Ryan reached up and placed his hand on the side of Marissa's neck, and Marissa wrapped her arms around Ryan's neck drawing her self closer to him.

Although the kiss felt so right, for both Ryan and Marissa, he knew that at the time it was wrong. She was still upset and hadn't dealt with what happened. It wasn't the right time.