A/N:

Chapter 10

Disclaimer: still nothing...
Story's Beta: Georgia (shiznats)

Shadow of a Heart
(Chapter 10)

"…and I swear I never knew, I never knew how it could be
and all this time all I had inside was what I couldn't see
I swear I never knew, I never knew
how it couldn't be…"

Anathema - Temporary Peace lyrics

"Natsuki…" she moaned into the now slightly aggressive kiss. Her eyes shut as she leaned, fully pressing her body, into the other woman. Natsuki responded by turning, never breaking the kiss, to the wall right next to the door and pushed Shizuru up against it. She pulled back for a second, allowing the other woman a chance to catch her breath and swiftly dipped her head into the other woman's naked neck. She started kissing and sucking on anything in her reach causing Shizuru to throw her head back and bite her bottom lip, trying to hold in the moan that was sure to erupt at any moment.

Shizuru's whole body was shaking, her hands desperate to hold on to something.

Slowly, painfully, the kiss broke, but Natsuki kept her face close, their noses grazed each other. The raven girl's eyes were still shut, savoring the moment. It was just them, no one else mattered, no one else existed. 'Just me and my goddess…' her thoughts echoed, fading into nothingness.

Then her mind was bombarded with vivid image of a caramel hair goddess, her goddess, being torn from her hands, from her life, forever.

"Please, Shizuru… I.. I'm sorry.. please... Please stay with me…" The hurt and pain in Natsuki's words made her voice foreign. She could feel the chestnut girl start to tremble underneath her hands, "I.. I just-" the trembling became worse; her eyes snapped open in concern, "S-Shizuru..?" she was taken aback when she saw the tears streaming down the other woman's face and felt her body shaking, now violently, beneath her hands. Not knowing exactly what to do, she followed her instincts. Natsuki used both of her hands to gently lift up the other woman's face so that she could look into the beautiful burgundy eyes.

"Stop.. Please d-don't do this…" Shizuru was begging, her eyes quivering as they stared into the endless green pits, hovering slightly above her. She knew that, if she kept looking she would lose herself in them, utterly and completely. With great effort, Shizuru was able to finally turn her head, looking in any direction other than Natsuki's. She suddenly felt weak from the effort. Her legs were trembling then shaking; she was falling. Both emotional and physical.

"Why?… Why do you always make everything so hard for me? Why can't you just let me go… It would be better that way." Her voice suddenly became hard, more forceful. "I would be alone, unable to hurt you, unable to hurt anyone, especially you… and you.. you would be happy… you would find someone… someone better than me…someone who would… who could make you happy-" startled eyes looked into burgundy ones.

"But.. but Shizuru, I-I want you!" several emotion, she didn't even know she had, started to bubble up in her chest like a volcano ready to erupt. "When… When you left me I-I realized that I couldn't... that I CAN'T live without you! I-I couldn't stop thinking of you, I…" she took a deep breath trying to prepare herself for what she was about to say, "S-Shizuru I… I think I-"

"No!" Shizuru eyes snapped open as she stood up harshly. She was now looking down at a kneeling Natsuki, her voice bitter.

"You.. You are too young and naive to know anything! You don't know what you want. You don't know what's best for you." All emotion slipped from the elegant woman's face, replacing it with a mask: a cold, hard, lifeless mask.

T.B.C.

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A/N

Please R&R. Next chapter will HOPEFULLY be up soon.

Much love,

John